Secret Relationship within a relationship

[DarkMachiavellian]

Hello,

My first post, I'm here to discuss dark triad strategies, I'm a dirty 'mind game' player (I guess) I don't play by the rules morally as some of the people on this site do and use any forms of tactics that will put me in a place of control, including any type of abuse and violence in rare cases. I don't see myself as a bad guy but I use these tactics to keep the women obsessed with me and confuse it with love. Using ALL of their emotions to my playbook.

With that being said, me and my LTR ex have a secret relationship while we're both in a relationship with someone else. Every month, we at least spend a weekend together or we travel to different states or countries and spend time with each other. When it's done we go home and keep LC very discretely using different names. We usually text everyday while we're both at work. I plan everything and tell her what to say or do to not get caught.

This has been going on for a year. I went NC on her for 1.5 years (purposely) While at the same time trying to push her buttons and triggers while I slept with other girls. We both cheated on each other when we were together. I cheated a lot during our relationship.

This works because she can't love anyone (Textbook BPD) and it works for me because I also can't love anyone (or her) we're both seriously attracted to each other tho but can't be in a relationship because we both know we're unfaithful untrustworthy pieces of s***. We're both the same but not equals. I control my ex and my current girlfriend very good.

She 'loves' her new boyfriend and I 'love' my new girlfriend. We're 'happy' with them but in reality we're both using them for our own needs but we come back to each other when we want some intimacy and overexaggerated love. (That I purposely created, she knows this logically and plays along emotionally) It's ****ed up but it works for me and her I guess..

Has anyone been in this situation before? Is there any dark triad people here? It's very tricky but it works for me and her.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

You will probably want to delete that allusion to using violence, or reframe it in a "sexual play" way. That's certainly not very machiavellian, to expose possible illegal activities about yourself.
As for me, you could say I'm becoming "darktriader" by the day. As my understanding grows, that "magical" element of human interactions is disappearing, leaving a cold and machiavellian picture. There are others here that you could call DarkTriad, @Ronaldo7 , @Asmodeus and @Reykhel being among them.

Could you describe your usual seduction? How do you use ALL of her emotions?

 

[cola]

Seems like too much work..sneaking around, weekend trips.. just a lot of effort. Seems like your "dark triad" skillset would be better served doing other things.. like calling up pinky, and trying to take over the world everyday
What you spend financialy on that stuff why not get an upscale hooker occasionaly and leave the nutcase alone if you want a variety of sexual partners..

 

[CuddleJunkie]

Seems like too much work..sneaking around, weekend trips.. just a lot of effort. Seems like your "dark triad" skillset would be better served doing other things.. like calling up pinky, and trying to take over the world everyday
What you spend financialy on that stuff why not get an upscale hooker occasionaly and leave the nutcase alone if you want a variety of sexual partners..

You have to understand how somebody who defines himself "darktriad" will probably be located on the high-end of the narcissistic spectrum. Such a person will develop a high level of attachment to those things and people that he considers "his", even more if said person is a BPD according to what I've read here. Also, you can't really forget the excitement that drama brings to our lives, ****, sometimes I miss the jealousy, arguments, and reconciliations of my old days. Sure, having relationships on your own terms and without misunderstandings is cool, but not as fun.

 

[marmel75]

Seems like the root of all of this is simply low self-esteem which you manifest as having to control and manipulate others.

 

[Asmodeus]

And another one?
We are getting more of my ilk then the psyc forums... I am rather surprised.

Also it is rather fascinating, and I see this trend elsewhere too. Most of the ASPD and (NPD with ASPD features) cases tend to associate with darkness or dark elements. For instance Asmodeus, SadoMasochrist, DarkMachiavellian, ect.

 

[Asmodeus]

Seems like the root of all of this is simply low self-esteem which you manifest as having to control and manipulate others.

Perhaps, it is hard to define ones self-esteem. That is one perspective, to control others because one feels a lack of control over oneself or such. Much has been said in psychology about how fragile an DT/narcissistic/ASPD ego is and how such cases supposedly feel a deep inferiority (thouth admittedly I do not feel this but it may just be my mind playing tricks on me for all I know as most of what we feel is in our subconscious which we do not fully understand or comprehend).

I think it has a lot to do with development. I am assuming OP was abused in his upbringing... I may be wrong but it is very typical. A psychiatrist I know thinks that we develop empathy and love as we develop in our youth. Look at a 3 year old, they do not fully understand right and wrong, they do not exactly know what to feel and how to understand things. Some things are not simply learned but mirrored and emulated.

People with ASPD and DT traits tend to grow up in households with abuse and neglect, at least from most cases I have seen. They have no actual empathy to mirror. They are grown not fully understanding concepts like this. Instead, they learn that to survive in a cruel and painful world that they need to become it. Learn that the only way to survive is to be manipulative.

But there are many theories on this... To go over all of the possible theories of how personality develops would require me breaking out textbooks on psychology.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

I've been thinking about the DarkTriad a lot as of lately...and it tends to appear in cultures od decadence...Look at how many libertines, seductors, sadists, masochists appeared all over the Enlightment.
These cultures had something in common: profound boredom. I like the Spanish word: hastío, it is something deeper than regular boredom, it implies a lack of goals and meaning in owns life. So anyhow, this is present for many of us in today's world. We simply don't know what to do with our time, so we decide to see how far we can go on our social interactions...

There's a disdain element present too, some resentment. We used to believe that women were angels, that our country cared for us, that we were going to live to colonize other planets...and all of that is gone, so we want a little revenge by showing to ourselves and to the world reality, and we immerse ourselves in the decadence of our culture as if we were trying to conquer it. Is a desperate escape forwards...

 

[Spinach]

You need serious help. Soon. Wow.

 

[ZTIME]

Seems like the root of all of this is simply low self-esteem which you manifest as having to control and manipulate others.

Funny. I read it the same way. Insecurity with the facade of sadisim. These tactics work well with lower level women. Just remember: "Sometimes it's not the face you're fvcking, It's the fvck you're facing".

 

[Reptar]

Not gonna judge anything you wrote morally. I don't care.

But it seems like you just wrote this thread to brag. That I do care about. There was nothing constructive in your thread. And you end it by asking if anybody else has been in the situation, as a thinly veiled attempt to hide your obvious bragging.

Wanna ask a real question? Or add real usable advice for others?

Bragging is fine, but don't be lame about it.



Edit: Also, sorry to burst your bubble, but like ZTIME said, these types of manipulative tactics only work on lower quality women, unless you are SUPER INTELLIGENT and doing these types of manipulations in a very calculated way (I literally can only think of 1 guy who can do this, and he is a sociopath, but he's slept with over 200 women). I doubt this is the case in this situation. Aim higher.

Any quality woman would leave at the first signs of any form of overt manipulations, especially the kind you've described, which seems pretty obvious to read. (Letting a girl find out you cheated on her is super obvious.)

 

[Trunks]

Yeah, telling the whole world you are physically abusing someone is about as stupid and non-Machiavellian as it gets.

 

[Desdinova]

I don't judge the morals of others on here. We all do things that work in our favour. However, I'm going to offer you a bit more for your arsenal:

http://www.donjuanbible.com/cheatmanual.pdf

Read it, take it in, and use it to your advantage.

 

[Asmodeus]

But it seems like you just wrote this thread to brag.

Narcissism is part of the condition.

ZTIME said, these types of manipulative tactics only work on lower quality women

Yes, kind of... Works on women with some issues, usually co-dependency, depression, abandonment issues, or other such things. He is with a BPD... Consider that this kind of woman has issues with abandonment and does not have a fully developed sense of self.

It's very tricky but it works for me and her.

I am sure it does work. It is a chaotic caricature of a relationship, but two cluster B cases together tend to work better than a cluster and a nom. Both understand chaos, both can deal in their own ways with the emotional swings, both play games but neither takes it seriously...

And OP... I would teach you of enlightened self interest sometime.

 

[Serenity]

I have been at the receiving end of such a person. It certainly worked against her own self interest. The minds of such people are among the easiest to fool and control. Weak minds don't know any other way of achieving their goals without immoral actions and deceit. They fool themselves more than they really fool everyone else. They believe what they do works for their own best interest, but in the long run it's exactly the opposite.

It certainly will not be in my best interest to support anything of what you do. I don't want more fvckers like that in the world to deal with. If you're gonna be a fraud and a backstabber you're on your own.

 

[Slash Dolo]

Years ago I was using mind games and things to get whatever I wanted in a similar way as you described. The funny thing about women is that they are so easy to game and manipulate if you are in a relationship because of your forbidden fruit aura. I must have been sleeping with two other women at any given time during a particular relationship and the girlfriend never found out.

I stopped when it got messy. It's a very complicated playing field and at the end of the day it was more trouble than it's worth. I try to use mind games sparingly; there's an old post I made on here specifically talking about certain tactics and the forum was generally displeased with what I was sharing. I think that even if we don't mention it, most of us have a code of honor and/or strong personal morals.

 

[DarkMachiavellian]

You will probably want to delete that allusion to using violence, or reframe it in a "sexual play" way. That's certainly not very machiavellian, to expose possible illegal activities about yourself.

With that being said it's the internet and I'm a work of fiction, I may or may not be telling the truth. I'm careless and unsophisticated.

With that also being said, I'm trying to get a new perspective on users like 'me' who enjoy doing these strategies as it works extremely BETTER than these morally induced games (which still works nonetheless) but adding a mix of dark doesn't hurt the player(Unless you're like me who likes doing 'dark' more than 'light'). A PIMP does any forms of tactics to control their women. I'm simply portraying it in that way but in a much smarter and clever darker way.

Could you describe your usual seduction? How do you use ALL of her emotions?

You play on the core emotions. FEAR, HAPPINESS, ANGER and SAD. You use all these to your advantage. While emotions greatly and vastly differ from emotion to emotion. The entire premise of using these emotions is always 'Make her obsessed with you while confusing it with love'. I have a natural gift of understanding people, I'm also very educated on psychology.

Seems like too much work..sneaking around, weekend trips.. just a lot of effort. Seems like your "dark triad" skillset would be better served doing other things.. like calling up pinky, and trying to take over the world everyday
What you spend financialy on that stuff why not get an upscale hooker occasionaly and leave the nutcase alone if you want a variety of sexual partners..

Upscale hooker or any hooker in this matter? I'll never downgrade myself like that. You don't need hookers to have sex. Paying for sex?!? That's offensive to me. Most girls on the streets are so easy to take advantage of. I've lived the life of getting sex for free. I mean I based a good portion of my early-mid 20s on that once I started understanding women. (I'm also a sex addict) but this girl is a nutcase and I'm also a nutcase. We work perfectly because we connect like no other. I love spending my time and money 'with her'. And let's not get this wrong. I'm traveling and doing these things for MYSELF. I want to experience these things for myself and I could do all this on my own but I love to have her along with me while I'm doing these things. It's like roleplaying. I love it. I could never show any type of love or emotions to a girl but when I roleplay the 'love' Hollywood portrays in movies with a huge dose of masculinity it makes things feel GREAT. I feel ALIVE. I could do this with my girlfriend.. but really where's the fun in that.. she doesn't deserve that.

Such a person will develop a high level of attachment to those things and people that he considers "his", even more if said person is a BPD according to what I've read here. Also, you can't really forget the excitement that drama brings to our lives, ****, sometimes I miss the jealousy, arguments, and reconciliations of my old days. Sure, having relationships on your own terms and without misunderstandings is cool, but not as fun.

Very, very true.

And another one?
We are getting more of my ilk then the psyc forums... I am rather surprised.

Also it is rather fascinating, and I see this trend elsewhere too. Most of the ASPD and (NPD with ASPD features) cases tend to associate with darkness or dark elements. For instance Asmodeus, SadoMasochrist, DarkMachiavellian, ect.

I consider myself more of a sociopath with high NPD and ASPD features. I also did have a troubling childhood but I really love what I'm doing. I don't regret anything that I'm doing. I enjoy doing these things because it works for me, I also don't have any empathy to care about peoples feelings or concerns.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

Haha, that's the 4chan tactic "The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact." I like it.

You say you make their obsession be confused with love, but isn't love just that? As I gain experience, I understand one basic premise of gaming "her imagination is your biggest ally". When you appear in her life as a mysterious man of experience, that is always working on his goals, but you never really share what you think or what your desires are, her imagination is fired up. And when you are in her imagination, and when you stay there, you occupy a great deal of her mental energy. Then love...just happens.

This is why disappearing for a week and then not explaining what you were doing is so powerful. This is why they text you asking what you are doing and you show them a picture of a mountain but you didn't tell her that you were hiking or whatever, is so powerful. Is not so much that your life is amazing and rich of experiences, it is that she can never figure you out.

 

[DarkMachiavellian]

Narcissism is part of the condition.


Yes, kind of... Works on women with some issues, usually co-dependency, depression, abandonment issues, or other such things. He is with a BPD... Consider that this kind of woman has issues with abandonment and does not have a fully developed sense of self.


I am sure it does work. It is a chaotic caricature of a relationship, but two cluster B cases together tend to work better than a cluster and a nom. Both understand chaos, both can deal in their own ways with the emotional swings, both play games but neither takes it seriously...

And OP... I would teach you of enlightened self interest sometime.

I could go in a lot further and say it works on any women who is very interested in you. Yes it plays well on women who have these issues because they're weak minded but it can play on anyone if you play on their weakness. It only works on these women very successfully because they have a lot of weak points they need to address. Normal women have less weak points but the human mind will always have a weakness. If you play on those weaknesses successfully then there should be no problem manipulating.

Exactly.

That sounds great, I'm very interested, PM me.

Haha, that's the 4chan tactic "The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact." I like it.

You say you make their obsession be confused with love, but isn't love just that? As I gain experience, I understand one basic premise of gaming "her imagination is your biggest ally". When you appear in her life as a mysterious man of experience, that is always working on his goals, but you never really share what you think or what your desires are, her imagination is fired up. And when you are in her imagination, and when you stay there, you occupy a great deal of her mental energy. Then love...just happens.

This is why disappearing for a week and then not explaining what you were doing is so powerful. This is why they text you asking what you are doing and you show them a picture of a mountain but you didn't tell her that you were hiking or whatever, is so powerful. Is not so much that your life is amazing and rich of experiences, it is that she can never figure you out.

While these are many good points, this is merely the foundation of it. You can be superman to a women but you don't want your supply to 'leave' when you mess up.(Cheating, flirting with other women in front of her. ect.) You want her to actually BELIEVE she can't live without you. That you can actually put your hands on her and be an abusive prick and she will still be there for you. (Sounds familiar?)

You use all these emotions to simply counter her leaving when you do mess up. That's obsession confusing with love.

 

[Reptar]

How many lays do you have and how old are you?