Dating somebody recently divorced?

[oc16]

What has been your experience?

I am 39 and got set up with a recently divorced 37 year old (separated 9 months ago and officially divorced 2 months ago)

First date went pretty good and the person who set us up said she liked me and was nervous I wasn't into her. Between first and second dates the texting was pretty good and she used a lot of emoticons.

Second date was 9 days later (she lives over an hour away) at a pool hall. Date went pretty good, no awkwardness, but at end of night she kind of gave me the cheek when I went to kiss her. After that I noticed her texts were terse and when I asked her out for third date (dinner) she said in a nutshell "To be honest, I don't think we have much in common". I'm perplexed since we got along pretty good and as far I am concerned, I did not do anything stupid or act "too nice".

My one friends wife says I never should of been set up with her to begin with because her head is probably still not in the right place after the divorce and it was too soon and I probably would of been the rebound guy.

What has been your experience?

 

[marmel75]

Lack of sexual escalation on your part.

 

[oc16]

Lack of sexual escalation on your part.

Bro, it was the second date, not the fourth.

 

[marmel75]

Bro, it was the second date, not the fourth.

Escalation should be happening on date 1, 20 mins in...starting slow and ramping up til you end up fvcking her.

So, once again. Lack of escalation on your part. These days never think you'll get another date or there will be a "next time". Unless you've fvcked her, she is going on other dates and those dudes have a chance to change her mind quickly, with one thrust of their c0ck...

Hell...These days, even once you've fvcked her it doesn't mean much...

 

[Konada]

Bro, it was the second date, not the fourth.

We need more details, what did you do leading up to the kiss? Any caressing, hand holding, hugging or stroking? If you did none of those then marmel is right, you failed because you did not escalate.

 

[oc16]

We were shooting pool and I throughout the night, I was brushing up against her (slightly) touching her elbow, waist and squeezed her leg by her knee while she was sitting down. Maybe I slightly touched her 6 times, but she did not lay a hand on me at all.

 

[GS750]

Could be anything really. The list of possibilities is endless. Bottom line, she's not that into you. Don't drive yourself nuts trying to figure it out. And don't waste your time trying to change her mind. Lose the number and keep on truckin'

 

[skinnyguy]

Last year I dated a divorced woman. I sportfvcked her and then dumped her because she started wanting something serious.

you're not missing out by getting nexted by this woman. She would have probably caused you problems in the long run. Guys need to stop being controlled by their penises and start realizing the negatives of dating low quality women.

 

[GS750]

true skinny. She could have dated you even though she wasn't that into you and then dropped you like a hot rock when she met someone she liked more or whatever. So look at it like she did you a favor and didn't waste your time. And you can spend your valuable time finding someone who returns your interest.

 

[dude99]

We were shooting pool and I throughout the night, I was brushing up against her (slightly) touching her elbow, waist and squeezed her leg by her knee while she was sitting down. Maybe I slightly touched her 6 times, but she did not lay a hand on me at all.

Gave you the cheek...did not lay a hand on you at all says one thing. Low interest on her part.

 

[Billtx49]

Gave you the cheek, always go only 3/4 of the way in and stop, if she doesn't come to you with the other 1/4 and/or gives you cheek, whisper some bs in her ear and forget her. Instant Next. She's signaling lack of sexual attraction and interest.

 

[ZTIME]

Escalation should be happening on date 1, 20 mins in...starting slow and ramping up til you end up fvcking her.

So, once again. Lack of escalation on your part. These days never think you'll get another date or there will be a "next time". Unless you've fvcked her, she is going on other dates and those dudes have a chance to change her mind quickly, with one thrust of their c0ck...

Hell...These days, even once you've fvcked her it doesn't mean much...

Going to agree here. At my age I run across quite a few recently divorced women.

I also understand LTR break ups. Since a girls number one thing to do to bother you is to withhold sex. Guess what she was probably doing for the last year or more of her marrige......hint : withholding sex!

So little chickie Is freshly out of the "no sex" nest. She wants to fvck, and fvck a lot! You play the nice guy while she's looking for a load to the face. She's looking for someone to take charge and rail her on date #1. Date 2 if she's patient.

Understand it this way and you'll score more often.

 

[grayclif]

Gave you the cheek, always go only 3/4 of the way in and stop, if she doesn't come to you with the other 1/4 and/or gives you cheek, whisper some bs in her ear and forget her. Instant Next. She's signaling lack of sexual attraction and interest.

Nice.

 

[RangerMIke]

It's all about chemistry... she just wasn't feeling it.

Any woman just off a long term serious relationship is going to have her emotions all over the place. It was likely that she didn't really like you from the start, but just did not know how to respond. A woman NOT just off a LTR might have actually just flat out rejected you.

Other advice is good... escalate fast. If she says no or pushes you away, pull back and try again later, trust me if she does not want anything to happen she WILL let you know.

 

[oc16]

It's all about chemistry... she just wasn't feeling it.

Any woman just off a long term serious relationship is going to have her emotions all over the place. It was likely that she didn't really like you from the start, but just did not know how to respond. A woman NOT just off a LTR might have actually just flat out rejected you.

Other advice is good... escalate fast. If she says no or pushes you away, pull back and try again later, trust me if she does not want anything to happen she WILL let you know.

 

[oc16]

No, according to her friend who set us up she did like me after the first date and was nervous I did not like her, unless of course she was just lying to her friend.

 

[Billtx49]

No, according to her friend who set us up she did like me after the first date and was nervous I did not like her, unless of course she was just lying to her friend.

Then it's up to you to find out - How - she liked you. Friend or lover. A cheek doesn't say much about love or sex. Explore if you want to by making moves and find out what she wants and how she sees you.

 

[oc16]

Then it's up to you to find out - How - she liked you. Friend or lover. A cheek doesn't say much about love. Explore if you want to by making moves and find out what's what.

Well, it was a date, not a friendly get together....so I assume to say she found me physically attractive enough to go out with me again.

Funny, on the first date I acted indifferent to the outcome and looked at the TV a lot to watch the Olympics. The fact she couldn't tell if I liked her or not made me appear attractive since I remained a challenge.

On the second date, I guess she was able to tell that I liked her and that maybe I liked her more than she liked me. Man, women are nuts!!

 

[Billtx49]

Well, it was a date, not a friendly get together....so I assume to say she found me physically attractive enough to go out with me again.

Funny, on the first date I acted indifferent to the outcome and looked at the TV a lot to watch the Olympics. The fact she couldn't tell if I liked her or not made me appear attractive since I remained a challenge.

On the second date, I guess she was able to tell that I liked her and that maybe I liked her more than she liked me. Man, women are nuts!!

First dates are to get to know each other better, not watch TV. You have some big time repair work to do with this girl. She might think you're an antisocial loser now if you focused on the TV that much while you were with her. Women are social beings, so get social with her. Get her to talk about herself, listen, ask questions about her life while being somewhat vague about yours. Get her thinking about you. Get her mind first and the body will usually follow. Be more interested in her than the TV.
Once you do that as a first step, then you can try escalation with her afterwards.
I can't tell you what she thought about your first date together, but I don't think it was a good thing for you.
The issue here is not about whether divorced women are different or not, it's about the quality of your game.

 

[RangerMIke]

No, according to her friend who set us up she did like me after the first date and was nervous I did not like her, unless of course she was just lying to her friend.

Never believe what women say, only what they do. They are emotional creatures they don't know why they do the things they do. This is why the worst advice you can get about women are from women.

Normally you could be sure if she really liked you, back off and see if she comes back. If she doesn't then you know. If she likes you your absence will get her to come back. BUT when you are dealing with a women that has just come of a LTR.... there is NO WAY to tell... they are even less predictable than normal women.