**** it, lets get married

[cola]

What would it take for you to say these words to a woman?

I mean how many chicks can you really lay? And it may sound soft but after a hard day in the world sometimes its nice to have someone to come home to.
I feel like if you tell her in the beginning that if she starts withholding sex you will divorce her and have her sign a prenup, you might be ok.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

It would take a truly conservative society. One in which marriage is recognize as a contract where the man buys the offspring of a woman in exchange of protection. I don't think we're ever coming back to something likr it again.

 

[cola]

It would take a truly conservative society. One in which marriage is recognize as a contract where the man buys the offspring of a woman in exchange of protection. I don't think we're ever coming back to something likr it again.

What? Lol. Its 2016.. protection from what? There are no wild tigers on residential streets..

A new age marriage would be more of a partnership with both parties working paying bills(whoever makes the most pays the most), doing even amounts of house work and sex without having to work for it..

Atleast thats how I would run my marriage.
She can keep her offspring. I would get married but no kids. If she had one id participate in their upbringing though.

Yes I know you can get these things without being married. But if you are tired of playing the field, she agrees before marriage not to ever withold sex and to sign prenup why not give her the marriage to make her happy?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

What? Lol. Its 2016.. protection from what? There are no wild tigers on residential streets..

A new age marriage would be more of a partnership with both parties working paying bills(whoever makes the most pays the most), doing even amounts of house work and sex without having to work for it..

Atleast thats how I would run my marriage.
She can keep her offspring. I would get married but no kids. If she had one id participate in their upbringing though.

Yes I know you can get these things without being married. But if you are tired of playing the field, she agrees before marriage not to ever withold sex and to sign prenup why not give her the marriage to make her happy?

That withhold sex would have to be described in the prenup. Because that's one of the most common "power plays" they will issue. Another one is before marriage is to participate in religious or maritial counseling and keep it going.

 

[marmel75]

What would it take for you to say these words to a woman?

I mean how many chicks can you really lay? And it may sound soft but after a hard day in the world sometimes its nice to have someone to come home to.
I feel like if you tell her in the beginning that if she starts withholding sex you will divorce her and have her sign a prenup, you might be ok.

I'd never be so cavalier about such a life altering decision. It might sound nice at the time, but unless you are prepared for all the things that come with it , it's going to end in disaster if you make a decision like that based on your reasoning.

This is coming from a guy who is married.

I've never had the withholding sex problem...I'd straight up tell her if it's not happening more often I will go find it elsewhere because she is unwilling to fulfill that end of the deal.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I'd never be so cavalier about such a life altering decision. It might sound nice at the time, but unless you are prepared for all the things that come with it , it's going to end in disaster if you make a decision like that based on your reasoning.

This is coming from a guy who is married.

If there can be a clause about "withholding" in the prenup it needs to be in there. That's one of the strongest power plays they do in marriage. The prenup needs to make "withholding" unattractive, and after a long enough period that the marriage terminated and everyone leaves with what they came with.

 

[marmel75]

If there can be a clause about "withholding" in the prenup it needs to be in there. That's one of the strongest power plays they do in marriage. The prenup needs to make "withholding" unattractive, and after a long enough period that the marriage terminated and everyone leaves with what they came with.

Never been an issue for me. I get it pretty much whenever I want it, which is pretty often. It helps that I look great naked tho I'm sure...

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Never been an issue for me. I get it pretty much whenever I want it, which is pretty often. It helps that I look great naked tho I'm sure...

"Looking great naked" is no guarantee. That needs to be worded because they can take it away...

 

[Juanto]

I'd never be so cavalier about such a life altering decision. It might sound nice at the time, but unless you are prepared for all the things that come with it , it's going to end in disaster if you make a decision like that based on your reasoning.

This is coming from a guy who is married.

I've never had the withholding sex problem...I'd straight up tell her if it's not happening more often I will go find it elsewhere because she is unwilling to fulfill that end of the deal.

Women tend to throw the guilt to men if for some reason you're not having enough sex...

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Women tend to throw the guilt to men if for some reason you're not having enough sex...

"The blame" you mean. IE: something he is or isn't doing that's makiner her not "want" to do it.

 

[BeTheChange]

I'm beginning to come to the realisation that if you want a to maintain the interests of a "quality" woman you may need to marry at some point.

[Arrogant post ALERT]

I'm quite a socially ambitious person. I grew up in what you would regard as the lower or lower middle class. I am now in the middle or upper middle class of society (incredibly well educated at a top university, above average income, etc.)

My ex was upper middle class. Her grandma owns a ton of land in their village so she is set once the inheritance comes in. Just based on the circles I move around and the type of women I am into in terms of background and education, I don't think I could see myself with someone who wasn't at least upper middle class. For women in this category marriage is almost assumed, and is a virtual necessity if you want to be truly accepted within the family.

In short, I'd consider it but there would need to be an air tight pre-nup in place and she would have to be in a losing (or at least a non-advantageous) position should the relationship come to an end and the divorce comes.

 

[Juanto]

"The blame" you mean. IE: something he is or isn't doing that's makiner her not "want" to do it.

Yes I stand corrected, I meant blame. It´s always something he did or didnt do

 

[playa99]

I would consider marriage with an air-tight pre nup in place, even though when I met my current gf I had nothing. I have a 6 figure net worth which is on the rise and built up by me alone, no-one is taking that off me!

I would never be cavalier about getting married and go into it with my eyes wide open.

She would always have to contribute, even if I earned millions and she didn't earn much.

The only area I differ from OP is where kids are concerned. I want kids at some point in my life. It is a disqualifier for me when a woman doesn't want to have kids. I would accept her taking time off before kids went to school.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Yes I stand corrected, I meant blame. It´s always something he did or didnt do

We call it the "blame the man" defense.

 

[PantyWhisperer]

Amen on the blame the men. It's always your fault that they don't feel motivated to have sex, yet really won't tell you exactly how to fix it.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

Of course, that's my point. Marriage makes no sense now a days, even less if you don't want to have kids. The point of marriage is to give kids to your tribe/state/whateverformofpoliticalsystem so that society can keep going.

 

[FinallyFree]

The only happily married long term couples I've encountered are those with very conservative morals who got together out of common goals be it career-related, to start a family, etc. Almost handshake agreements where their respect and love grows over time. They can't find the same investment anywhere else.

If they got together out of passion, romance, if he had to use "game" tactics... As soon as that energy fades they get divorced or cheat.

I think the real downfall in how we view marriage is that we assume it's supposed to be "passionate"... When in human history has marriage been passionate? It was almost always a prearranged agreement between families to start a new family. Passion was injected into marriage by modern magazines.

Women nowadays expect marriage to a 40 year long hookup where he keeps inventing new ways to thrill her. He never takes me spontaneously salsa dancing or breaks out singing and tap dancing with a cane for me so I want a divorce. Pure fantasy.

 

[JohnChops]

I'd never be so cavalier about such a life altering decision. It might sound nice at the time, but unless you are prepared for all the things that come with it , it's going to end in disaster if you make a decision like that based on your reasoning.

This is coming from a guy who is married.

I've never had the withholding sex problem...I'd straight up tell her if it's not happening more often I will go find it elsewhere because she is unwilling to fulfill that end of the deal.

its like adopting a new dog, you only see the positives at first, but then the negatives start to set in, walking, waking up early, going to bed late, them waking you up at night, feeding them, taking them to the vet, etc.

Marriage aint worth it.

 

[dustmuffin]

There would have to be boundary setting in addition to the prenup. Some might be total transperency. No passords on social media, phones ect for both parties. Deletion of all phone numbers of past sexual interests for both.

She won't do it? Fine no marraige.

 

[The Duke]

Here's a good link about what happens in a marriage when a woman doesn't want sechs....read the comments section bout how its the man's fault......
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/samantha-rodman-phd/i-save-childrens-lives-yet-my-wife-wont-have-frequent-varied-sex-with-me_b_11644430.html