Got Flaked on Tonight

[Reyaj]

Yeah nothing astonishing right? I think i'm just posting this to remind myself how retarded the game can be.

Got a HB8 37 year old milf off POF... chatted got the phone number, played phone tag but finally talked for about a half hour the other day. We made plans to meet up tonight... she said she'd text me yesterday but she didn't...

Today I text her

Me: Hope you're still alive
Her: Yes sorry I was at a bday party yesterday
Me: cool how was it
Her: their AC broke so we were so hot it was ok I guess
Me: that sucks. So you still want to meet up later
Her: yes, you are done around 6 right?
Me: yeah
Her: ok let me get back to you shortly just going to try and think of a place

So no response from her... I text her around 4:30pm

Me: so what do you think?

No response at all since then..

I end up texting her a short while ago something about how you gotta love the quality of girls on the internet and how I thank her for helping me realize younger girls are better as they haven't been jaded.

I know there was no need for that but I nexted this girl 30 mins after she didn't respond to me.

This little story is common and happens all so often. Just needed a little reminder of shvtty women are these days and if you find a good one to appreciate it.

Fortunately all this is just side action for me lol

 

[grayclif]

Her: ok let me get back to you shortly just going to try and think of a place

Who's asking who out here. Date, time and location are your job bro.

 

[nismo-4]

Failure to lead. Hence this. And when she read that text, she nexted you and got with the guy who messaged her with plans 3 minutes later. Even older women play games. Online dating warrants the one strike rule, which is exactly what it says on the tin. She wouldn't be at a b'day party if Lebron James asked her out, and she would make a stone reschedule if it was really important. You would too for your dream girl.

Next time, take charge. Take action. Move fast. If she doesn't join you, move on. You showed you refuse to be an orbiter.

 

[guru1000]

You better step up your game: I get flaked on at least twice a week, and not even a thought crosses my mind.

 

[JonnyD123]

Who's asking who out here. Date, time and location are your job bro.

This.

Make. Definite. Plans. Believe me, this is an issue I'm working on too. Example:

"What days are you available to get together this week?"
Wait for a response
"Great, let's do dinner at my place on ____ at ___pm. Sound good?"
Wait for a response
"Sounds good. See you then."

That simple.

 

[grayclif]

What days are you available to get together this week?

I'm not sure how effective this is. If she has to think too hard about her availability or let on how avaliable she is, she may be reluctant to respond.

Me: Let's meet tomorrow after work at ShipWreck at 7pm-ish. I'll buy drinks you can bring your life story.
Her: Can't do Wednesday but Thursday works fine.
Me. Super. I'll see you then.

If she says sorry can't make it and doesn't counter with an alternative then you have a case of low interest. It's at this point you decide whether you'll push through and try build more rapport. Or just move on.

 

[Desdinova]

Let's look at the errors...

Got a HB8 37 year old milf off POF

This is just a loaded gun. If she's a HB8, she's going to have lots of options. If she's 37, she's going to be well adjusted to ditching men who don't make her vagina tingle. With her being from POF, it's relatively easy for her to do it since her inbox is flooded with attention from men. The worst part is women become immune to puzzy tingles while on POF because of all the attention. Your texting game needs to be top notch to move a woman from online to a date.

When I was on POF, my success rate was one date for about 30 messages. I found I had a better success ratio from meeting women in real life, so I gave up on POF. Giving up POF gave me less frustration and less flakes. Women respond better to the real deal.

Me: that sucks. So you still want to meet up later

You're verifying the date? This is something she should be doing. You make the plans and stick to them.

Her: ok let me get back to you shortly just going to try and think of a place

That's not her job, it's yours. Leaving decision making to a woman is like getting a blind man to drive you home. He won't be able to find the car, let alone navigate the streets.

When you set up a date with a woman, you need to dictate it to her. If you haven't figured out a date and time, tell her you need to check your schedule and get back to her. Don't take too long doing this. Once you have your free days figured out, message her and give her two options. Have a third as a backup. Once you've both agreed on a date, it's set in stone. If she flakes or cancels without a counter-offer, then don't bother with her.

I end up texting her a short while ago something about how you gotta love the quality of girls on the internet and how I thank her for helping me realize younger girls are better as they haven't been jaded.

Venting to her about how much she sucks accomplishes nothing but wasting your time and energy.

If you want better quality women, get off POF. If you're just doing it for an occasional lay, you'll need to tolerate less bull5hit and drop these women when you start seeing roadblocks and never look back.

 

[wolf]

Already mentioned but she threw you a test and you failed.

She wanted to see if you would take the lead and you failed.

Onwards and upwards. Next time you say something like "7pm at such and such bar. Ps I'm a sucker for a black dress and red nails "

Live, Learn and prosper

 

[mrgoodstuff]

My thoughts:

Never blame them or anyone else for flaking. The only person to blame is myself: what can I do better??

Have 2-3 other women to focus on at all times.

I never call them out or insult them or disrespect them...even when they flake. Best response to a flake in my opinion: "Ok Hon I understand. Thanks for the heads-up and you have a great night." Then go ghost for a week or two/ re-invite for a drink.

Minimize the e-chats and texts. In my opinion anything beyond "Will you meet me for a drink" is a waste of time and energy. The only exception I'll make for this is when THEY initiate the texts and emails...and even then...my responses are purposefully bland and minimal.

I consider it a Red flag when I ask more than once if they'd like to meet me. Again this is on ME. My game needs tweaking.

What if they flake without giving a heads up? Or what if it is a very last second flake like your supposed to meet them there and then in the moment the changed plans?

 

[guru1000]

Here are my rules for texting: Text when I want to.

I frankly could care less how my texting affects her IL. If I am not getting full deference from her because of the way I text--with no worries, no contemplation, no nostalgia-- she gets a simple NEXT and have a nice day.

As to the OP regarding flaking: It's part of the dating "game." I would encourage you to flake on them as well to better understand abundance and, thus, the context of flakes.

 

[Reyaj]

Who's asking who out here. Date, time and location are your job bro.

Yes I agree here and I'm not going to argue this as I typically do with some of the feedback I get which I deem as dogmatic. Trust me 80% of the time I will name the spot and set the plans. The reason i didn't do it this time was because she was 45 minutes away from me. I didn't really want to drive 45 minutes so I was hoping she'd propose to come by me or to meet half way.

Even though this was a mistake on my part I don't necessarily think that naming a specific place and time would have made her not flake.

Failure to lead. Hence this. And when she read that text, she nexted you and got with the guy who messaged her with plans 3 minutes later. Even older women play games. Online dating warrants the one strike rule, which is exactly what it says on the tin. She wouldn't be at a b'day party if Lebron James asked her out, and she would make a stone reschedule if it was really important. You would too for your dream girl.

Next time, take charge. Take action. Move fast. If she doesn't join you, move on. You showed you refuse to be an orbiter.

Even though this was a mistake on my part I don't necessarily think that naming a specific place and time would have made her not flake.

Who's asking who out here. Date, time and location are your job bro.

Even though this was a mistake on my part I don't necessarily think that naming a specific place and time would have made her not flake.

You better step up your game: I get flaked on at least twice a week, and not even a thought crosses my mind.

Me neither, if I had a dollar for every time this happend to me I'd be eating some all out red lobster lol I rarely post about these experiences but just did so to reinforce thoughts I've been having. However I am going to create a long thread about the experiences I can remember and come up with hard lessons to post to an additional thread. Stay tuned.

This.

Make. Definite. Plans. Believe me, this is an issue I'm working on too. Example:

"What days are you available to get together this week?"
Wait for a response
"Great, let's do dinner at my place on ____ at ___pm. Sound good?"
Wait for a response
"Sounds good. See you then."

That simple.

I agree.

Let's look at the errors...



This is just a loaded gun. If she's a HB8, she's going to have lots of options. If she's 37, she's going to be well adjusted to ditching men who don't make her vagina tingle. With her being from POF, it's relatively easy for her to do it since her inbox is flooded with attention from men. The worst part is women become immune to puzzy tingles while on POF because of all the attention. Your texting game needs to be top notch to move a woman from online to a date.

When I was on POF, my success rate was one date for about 30 messages. I found I had a better success ratio from meeting women in real life, so I gave up on POF. Giving up POF gave me less frustration and less flakes. Women respond better to the real deal.



You're verifying the date? This is something she should be doing. You make the plans and stick to them.



That's not her job, it's yours. Leaving decision making to a woman is like getting a blind man to drive you home. He won't be able to find the car, let alone navigate the streets.

When you set up a date with a woman, you need to dictate it to her. If you haven't figured out a date and time, tell her you need to check your schedule and get back to her. Don't take too long doing this. Once you have your free days figured out, message her and give her two options. Have a third as a backup. Once you've both agreed on a date, it's set in stone. If she flakes or cancels without a counter-offer, then don't bother with her.



Venting to her about how much she sucks accomplishes nothing but wasting your time and energy.

If you want better quality women, get off POF. If you're just doing it for an occasional lay, you'll need to tolerate less bull5hit and drop these women when you start seeing roadblocks and never look back.

I agree with all of this, no rebuttal on anything from me... Again the only thing I will say again is if even if I made specific plans I don't think this greatly reduces her flake rate... But the key from your post is one I've known and want to reinforce... Don't take girls you don't know seriously or let their actions affect your own value (the latter applies to any woman whether you know her or not)

OP strongly suggest you read/study this:

These have merit... the only one I do disagree with is not texting the same night you meet her. As counter Alpha as it sounds I've had a lot of success doing so. This of course is a simple text and not an inundation of conversation.

Here are my rules for texting: Text when I want to.

I frankly could care less how my texting affects her IL. If I am not getting full deference from her because of the way I text--with no worries, no contemplation, no nostalgia-- she gets a simple NEXT and have a nice day.

As to the OP regarding flaking: It's part of the dating "game." I would encourage you to flake on them as well to better understand abundance and, thus, the context of flakes.

Spot on... and I do/have - but it's been a while so needed a reminder hence this post.

 

[Solomon]

People still use POF?

 

[hockeyfreak79]

People still use POF?

POF/OKC baah what's the difference.

I haven't been on POF in years. I took a break from OKC but went on recently & as I'm messaging these sloots I get a sense of desperation rush over me. I got a good chuckle out of it. The last chick I was talking to told me she was husband hunting...lol a curvy/30 something about to hit the wall is husband hunting on OKC. I nearly choked on my lunch from laughing so hard.

We should just ban these sites, wishful thinking I know.

 

[EyeBRollin]

As to the OP regarding flaking: It's part of the dating "game." I would encourage you to flake on them as well to better understand abundance and, thus, the context of flakes.

I never flake on appointments. I treat it like business. Would you flake on a client?

A man's word is important in my opinion. It may increase her interest or it may not. I'd rather be known as the guy that always keeps to his world. My two cents.

 

[guru1000]

I never flake on appointments. I treat it like business. Would you flake on a client?

A man's word is important in my opinion. It may increase her interest or it may not. I'd rather be known as the guy that always keeps to his world. My two cents.

I bifurcate a line between business and women.

In business, loyalty, honor, your word, upfront truthfulness will take you very far, as you capitalize on people's trust and long-term relationships and referrals.

Unfortunately, women never appreciate the hard work and sacrifices you make for them. They never appreciate your word. They do appreciate how you make them feel at the moment. I have no honor with women, and neither do they with me.

 

[PantyWhisperer]

I bifurcate a line between business and women.

In business, loyalty, honor, your word, upfront truthfulness will take you very far, as you capitalize on people's trust and long-term relationships and referrals.

Unfortunately, women never appreciate the hard work and sacrifices you make for them. They never appreciate your word. They do appreciate how you make them feel at the moment. I have no honor with women, and neither do they with me.

100% agree. They don't appreciate honor, they expect it, but don't give it in return.

 

[Reyaj]

So another girl who is a nurse with crazy over night hours I've been texting off there... We were supposed to have plans today to meet up. Yesterday I said lets meet at in the afternoon today and I'd think of a place and let her know. I texted her 3 hours ago and said "want to meet for drinks at xxxxxxx" No response... I recently texted her "guess not "

I'm expecting another flake here. For anyone who says I shouldn't have asked but stated the place and time and that would have caused her not to flake doesn't get out much...

 

[mrgoodstuff]

In my opinion, don't do this. Never call them out. Silence is almost always the best option.

What does calling them out on it do? Do you flake on them in return ever to "communicate" it's a waste of time?

 

[EyeBRollin]

There's no need to call out women. Silence is an answer. Use it.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Ok, now I understand why this guy goes to strip clubs and gets handjobs.