Borderline: a matter of life and death

[Infern0]

I got the call today.

My "replacement" is dead via suicide.

When I logged onto this site nigh on 2 years ago to tell my story and was greeted with "she's not bpd you just say that cos she dumped you and you beta" type of responses even though she was DIAGNOSED. And told to man up etc.

Well the poor kid who though he'd won the lottery and Facebook staused how it was the happiest day of his life, when he prized her off me now laying on a mortuary slab begs to differ.

I had no love lost for the guy but I feel terrible for what he must have went through and this is a brother who slipped through the cracks, no sosuave no Redhill no nothing. Gaslight to oblivion and now it's over.

So to all those on here who want to doubt the seriousness, we'll there you go I've just given it. I used to say my ex was so dangerous she could kill someone and now it's happened.

Gaslighting, emotional manipulation, lying, cheating etc. This is serious business and these girls are not to be trifled with.

And a quick glance at her instagram she's hitting the clubs tonight.

Next victim please.....

 

[BeTheChange]

This is the reality bro. When I dumped my BPD of 3 years after a questionable moment that looked to be potential infidelity (or plans to) she was hitting the club within the hour. I know this because when she came back a week later for another attempt at a recycle she showed her me WhatsApp conversations in an attempt to prove her "innocence" and there was a video sent to her from a friend with her and another guy at a table with champagne laughing away like it was nothing, while I would have been in bed struggling to sleep with post break up anxiety. They are without conscience.

This is why we genuinely have to take pride in dumping these degenerate lunatics and moving on with our lives. Lesser men would have been entirely wiped out or doomed to a lifetime of subservience.

One caveat though. BPDs are pathological liars and like the idea of men being weakened by them, once they leave. I promise you. My ex would have wanted nothing more than for me to fall into depression and lose everything.

Me and my ex split up briefly in 2015 and she hooked up with another guy. I had fun with other women in the interim so I shrugged it off when we got back together. Apparently he was very into her and from what I saw he took it badly when she came back to me. As a condition of me bothering to accept her back I told her she'd have to tell him that she was back with me, which really broke him since no doubt she had painted me as the devil and him as her saviour. Anyway, fast forward to 2016 and "a friend" has told her that this dude went off the rails once "she left him" and started doing coke and seeing prostitvtes to cope with the pain. You could see from her face and tone of voice that she actually enjoyed telling me this. She didn't feel sad at all. It always seemed a bit farfetched to me since they weren't even together for that long so for me it's either an example of her compulsive lying or her psychopathic tendencies.

 

[Juanto]

Sorry if this has been already asked, but how did you determined for sure you were dealing and in a relationship with a BPD girlfriend?

 

[Infern0]

Sorry if this has been already asked, but how did you determined for sure you were dealing and in a relationship with a BPD girlfriend?

1. Diagnosed her myself online after breakup (she never revealed her dx before or during our rs, I assumed bipolar based on ignorance until post breakup when bpd seemed to fit a lot better, she was acting in textbook bpd ways, it was actually disturbing I'd read something online and she'd do/say that exact thing. It become predictable)

2. Had coffee with her during a recycle attempt, she mentioned therapy I asked her dx and she said bpd.

3. I laughed

 

[Infern0]

I

This is the reality bro. When I dumped my BPD of 3 years after a questionable moment that looked to be potential infidelity (or plans to) she was hitting the club within the hour. I know this because when she came back a week later for another attempt at a recycle she showed her me WhatsApp conversations in an attempt to prove her "innocence" and there was a video sent to her from a friend with her and another guy at a table with champagne laughing away like it was nothing, while I would have been in bed struggling to sleep with post break up anxiety. They are without conscience.

This is why we genuinely have to take pride in dumping these degenerate lunatics and moving on with our lives. Lesser men would have been entirely wiped out or doomed to a lifetime of subservience.

One caveat though. BPDs are pathological liars and like the idea of men being weakened by them, once they leave. I promise you. My ex would have wanted nothing more than for me to fall into depression and lose everything.

Me and my ex split up briefly in 2015 and she hooked up with another guy. I had fun with other women in the interim so I shrugged it off when we got back together. Apparently he was very into her and from what I saw he took it badly when she came back to me. As a condition of me bothering to accept her back I told her she'd have to tell him that she was back with me, which really broke him since no doubt she had painted me as the devil and him as her saviour. Anyway, fast forward to 2016 and "a friend" has told her that this dude went off the rails once "she left him" and started doing coke and seeing prostitvtes to cope with the pain. You could see from her face and tone of voice that she actually enjoyed telling me this. She didn't feel sad at all. It always seemed a bit farfetched to me since they weren't even together for that long so for me it's either an example of her compulsive lying or her psychopathic tendencies.

As much **** as we get for going with these bpds (which happens due to lack of knowledge) surviving one and coming out the other side all good actually shows some serious willpower and endurance.

 

[Juanto]

1. Diagnosed her myself online after breakup (she never revealed her dx before or during our rs, I assumed bipolar based on ignorance until post breakup when bpd seemed to fit a lot better, she was acting in textbook bpd ways, it was actually disturbing I'd read something online and she'd do/say that exact thing. It become predictable)

2. Had coffee with her during a recycle attempt, she mentioned therapy I asked her dx and she said bpd.

3. I laughed

So am I right in thinking she had severe mood changes for subjects of little importance, and also had a great need of attention from you and others?

 

[Infern0]

So am I right in thinking she had severe mood changes for subjects of little importance, and also had a great need of attention from you and others?

Yes. Although I was not subjected to the mood changes personally until much later I observed them and others falling to them

And she was incredibly clingy and needed constant attention

I didn't mind as she was hot and I wrote it off as "cute"

 

[Dingo]

His suicide is not your fault.

You can't take responsibility for other people's actions. Your ex may or may not been "responsible" but the guy could have been battling his own demons and just lost.

 

[Jetleg]

Maybe its not the girl.

I'm not messing with unstable women anymore, after my Ex with BPD dumped me and had sex basically infront of me two days later (after not having sex for like a month with her while we were together) i lost all respect for women with BPD.

if even notice the slightest, smallest, signs of BPD, i say goodbye and leave.
BPD means "i have no responsibility for my actions"

ever met a man with BPD?

 

[Juanto]

What if you dump the BFD girlfriend, do they usually try to come back with you or just do the same as if they were the ones dumping?

 

[Asmodeus]

He killed himself because he was weak. His death is on his own hands. BPD was not the problem here, it was a weak willed sap who was too afraid. He had a choice.

 

[Polysix]

He killed himself because he was weak. His death is on his own hands. BPD was not the problem here, it was a weak willed sap who was too afraid. He had a choice.

I have to disagree Asmodeus. Sure he was weak, not every one is emotionally strong enough to get over a BPD relationship. This is some serious and dangerous ****. The last sites on the NC-thread among with nearly all BPD threads on this board show how difficult and painful a BPD-Oneitis is and how long it takes to detach/ eject, it´s simply another dimension than normal breakup! Even after my 10 year LTR I didn´t feel that down/ sad/ depressed/ damaged like I did after my BPD romance last year. It felt like I opened Pandora's box, an unimaginable secret with so much weight that I never wanted to know about but somehow got no choice.
And the longer you stay the darker it gets, the abyss becomes deeper and deeper the longer you are in theese toxic relationships.
I´m still struggling sometimes and something was definitly broken within me after that toxic rs. The connection/ bond with theese girls is so out of space, it´s like they are directly connected with the unconscious mind of the man, maybe that´s because of the emotional turmoil BPDs cause, I don´t know. What I do know is how it feels like, like emotional death. On another thread you mentioned the "Stockholm Sydrom", yes I think it has alot to do with the intense of the connection.
Yeah I know, nothing new what I write here. If anyone is to blame than only this fvcking disease (BPD) itself and western society that raises the prevalence of it.
@ Inferno
I read your threads and maybe allmost all other BPD threads here to cure my BPD-Oneitis.
Thanks for posting, although it´s really sad and I feel for the poor guy. It´s not your fault Inferno, believe me I can imagine how you feel now.
But this thread here demonstrates how important it is to stay NC forever with BPDs!
I had contact with my BPD-girl after the breakup via textgame, because I thought we could LJBF or FWB. I was so wrong. Most of the pain I suffered from came afterwards, i.e. because of her projections into me and because I realized how broken she is and how f@cked up everything is, there is nothing I could do for her.
At least maybe I saved the life of another guy at that time. He´s an Ex of her and a drug addict and therefore anything but psychologically or emotionally strong or stalbe, he lives in another town she wanted to settle in. It was if I could foresee a dark future, if she moves to him, something really bad would happen because both are emotional unstable. And I had just had this awful feeling, as she told me her plans. Creepy I know and because at this time I was somehow still part of her love-triangles I could somehow manage to manipulate her, not to settle in. Fortunatly she didn´t move. Maybe some of you can imagine how I felt at this time, I had so much responsibillity for the life of others, because I felt like only I knew the Dynamics of this horrible disease called BPD, and what could happen. Afterwards I realized the longer I stay in contact, even if it´s only textgame once in a month, it becomes worse and worse. A black hole a spiral without a bottom. As long as I stay in contact I´m part of her problems. This important guys! You must eject, there is no other way. NC forever! She just doesn´t know or realize how much damage she causes to the ones, who love her, because of her horrible disease. It´s so sad and hopless, but it´s true and reality you have to accept. She is a dead girl and the longer you stay, chances rise exponentially that you will die too, emotionally or literally. There is no Winner, everyone looses. Stay NoContact forever with BPDs and steel yourselves bros!
Peace and Love,
Polysix

 

[Julian]

i seriously had to finesse my way out of my BPD relationship. it was like walking through a minefield with her. this is not checkers, this is 3d chess when dealing with these demonic creatures. and i mean BPD their disease as the demonic creatures, because often times the girl herself can be awesome...but when she goes jekyll/hyde mode and transforms into the beast...its no joke yo.

you truly have to be an alpha guy who cant be phased and isnt emotional. thats the trick. however thats impossible to do when she goes off the deepend and starts punching herself in the face, cutting, trying to jump out of moving vehicle, screaming/crying etc etc you guys all know the deal if you have dealt with a BPD girl.

its unfortunate we fall for these girls.

 

[BeTheChange]

you truly have to be an alpha guy who cant be phased and isnt emotional. thats the trick. however thats impossible to do when she goes off the deepend and starts punching herself in the face, cutting, trying to jump out of moving vehicle, screaming/crying etc etc you guys all know the deal if you have dealt with a BPD girl.

This. I was alpha as fvck through most of our relationship and even I struggled to cope when my ex started banging her head against the wall and hitting herself in the face. Honestly man. I have nothing but pity for the poor girl (although she is probably getting rattled hard and loving it by the next guy as we speak lol...)

I know why I fell for her. I have some pretty aggressive narccisistic tendancies and having a chick worship you like a Pharaoh was exactly what my ego wanted. Was hard to break away from that. Plus she was pretty well behaved 95% of the time. I never really got to the "random" bad behaviour stage because her triggers were always caused by my behaviour (cheating, etc). Guess that's why she stuck around for 3 years. She never got to the "comfort" stage with me, even when we lived together.

And like you said, these girls aren't necessarily "bad" people. Mine certainly wasn't. She's basically screwed for life because daddy (most probably) molested her in some way...not to mention major abandonment issues due to the disintegration of her parent's relationship when she was a kid...Ah well...not my problem anymore!

 

[wolf]

Joined so i could chip in with this Topic. There are plenty of BPD threads on here but it is a recurring theme that needs to be bought to attention as much as possible.

The fact this guy decided to off himself wasn't "weak" or anything of that ilk..

She most likely bonded to him via all of the emotional **** that he was dragging with him from his childhood. I dated a girl for 6 months who i now understand was NPD/BPD with a lot of sociopathic tendencies. I won't go through all of the red flags, that is for another thread another day.

Never in all my life had i felt so ****ing low! She sucked my soul out through my **** and emptied me of all and any happiness that i had. It was only down to me having some kind of psychotic break that i managed to walk away and not look back. Another 2 or 3 months and it would be me in the morgue.

On the upside what these chicks are good for is bringing all of your emotional **** to the surface that you can have the opportunity to heal them and get healthy.

I walked away and went full NC. I went through all of the stalking and bull**** afterward but was never in direct contact with her again.

The trick is to tame your ego so these fruit loops can't use it against you.


Peace

 

[BeTheChange]

On the upside what these chicks are good for is bringing all of your emotional **** to the surface that you can have the opportunity to heal them and get healthy

Yep. 100% agree. And for this reason I will be FOREVER grateful for the experience I've had. Better it all gets brought out and fixed now. So going forward I won't end up fvcking things up with an actual attractive well adjusted chick.

However I do think how badly you are willing to lose yourself in a BPD relationship depends in some part on your self esteem and goals in life. For example I know for a fact I would never have allowed the following no matter the degree of emotional manipulation:

• Marriage
• Carrying her financially to my disadvantage
• Sacrificing my career to make her "happy"
• And "oops" pregnancy

I was acutely aware of the fact that everything we did had to be to my advantage.

Even when you're knee deep in, it's still possible to maintain a healthy sense of self. In fact six months before the relationship ended I was actively looking for jobs in a particular sector and was exploring international options to widen my chances. I didn't care whether she came along, nor the fact that she had moved from Germany and paid to study here in the UK just to be with me.And yet here I am a month post break up and obviously I still miss her at times, so you can still love a BPD and not be destroyed by the end of a relationship.

I think the men who seem to cope best in these BPD relationships or the aftermath are probably those who like me are just immensely selfish and hyper aware of their own needs and ambitions. Perhaps that is what holds their attraction for so long. They see us as someone who must be conquered and beta-ised?

 

[Infern0]

Yep. 100% agree. And for this reason I will be FOREVER grateful for the experience I've had. Better it all gets brought out and fixed now. So going forward I won't end up fvcking things up with an actual attractive well adjusted chick.

However I do think how badly you are willing to lose yourself in a BPD relationship depends in some part on your self esteem and goals in life. For example I know for a fact I would never have allowed the following no matter the degree of emotional manipulation:

• Marriage
• Carrying her financially to my disadvantage
• Sacrificing my career to make her "happy"
• And "oops" pregnancy

I was acutely aware of the fact that everything we did had to be to my advantage.

Even when you're knee deep in, it's still possible to maintain a healthy sense of self. In fact six months before the relationship ended I was actively looking for jobs in a particular sector and was exploring international options to widen my chances. I didn't care whether she came along, nor the fact that she had moved from Germany and paid to study here in the UK just to be with me.And yet here I am a month post break up and obviously I still miss her at times, so you can still love a BPD and not be destroyed by the end of a relationship.

I think the men who seem to cope best in these BPD relationships or the aftermath are probably those who like me are just immensely selfish and hyper aware of their own needs and ambitions. Perhaps that is what holds their attraction for so long. They see us as someone who must be conquered and beta-ised?

I noticed with mine she would ALWAYS circle back a little while post break up once I got my **** together. In some way they are attracted to that strength, if you recover they come back, if you stay down they don't.

It's a catch 22 though because nobody well adjusted is going to stay for too long with them, once devaluation begins they will be out

 

[Bible_Belt]

My bpd ex has two dead exes. One killed another in a fight over her, and then when that guy got out of jail, he overdose on heroin, because he was depressed about being rejected by her.

 

[BeTheChange]

I noticed with mine she would ALWAYS circle back a little while post break up once I got my **** together. In some way they are attracted to that strength, if you recover they come back, if you stay down they don't.

It's a catch 22 though because nobody well adjusted is going to stay for too long with them, once devaluation begins they will be out

Interesting. I never really got "devalued" from an objective POV. Maybe in her eyes when she was painting me black but no never became a beta. I'm speculating here but I just think she'd found an easier target to latch on to. Plus they aren't robots. If the relationship is toxic (and ours was) like any other girl they will have a greater incentive to leave.

My bpd ex has two dead exes. One killed another in a fight over her, and then when that guy got out of jail, he overdose on heroin, because he was depressed about being rejected by her.

Another good point. Last I saw my ex was with a drug dealer. Hate to think what my ex could do to an average blue pill dude. I would never fight over a woman but some of these other guys...last thing I need is a bullet in my head.

 

[Julian]

@BeTheChange

Im with you, I was extremely alpha and red pill with my BPD ex. and I had her trained up pretty damn good but BPD's are a force of nature and you cant control mother nature yo. they are literally like Storm from X men, able to harness that insane energy as a weapon. The problem is that BPD female can be very insidious and eventually she will break through your alpha armor, you will lower her guard for her...it might take her 6 months or a year or 3 but these chicks will always recycle with their "true love alpha" no matter who they are with now...high score theory chit. the point is you will catch feels for her and it will be the end of you.

I know I could call my BPD ex right now and have her meet me anywhere and she would because thats the power I still hold over her. The thing is ive relinquished that power because I dont want a viscious unpredictable pitbull at my side...i want a trained up obediant german schepard, feel me?

They want to bring an alpha down under their control...there will be times of submission to keep you reeled in but then they will test your alpha resolve with crazier and crazier antics everytime. i could have ended up dead or in cuffs with some of the crap my ex pulled (attacking me while im driving, causing a scene at the bar crying getting white knights attention causing me drama etc). Just ridiculous crap constantly. then the heart felt apology and then the viscious cycle continues once you forgive.

I went NC on my bpd ex about a month ago and shes made numerous attempts at contact but she tried to play me big time this last round and I can handle my girl being a little nutter if shes loyal and ride or die for me, but when i catch that shes trying to be slick and do some multi guy chit...nah i have more self respect then that.