I hope I don't get flamed for this but...question

[_sideways_]

How come no one here speaks of romance and what not?
Like, I get it...****y funny is the go to thing cuz its universally safe and it attracts. Keeps the frame , etc

But...
Is it then only the handsome blokes that can be sweet and not blow up in their face?

I'm legitimately caring throughout my universe/world/day to day ...and its not ****y funny.

 

[playa99]

Romance is permittable in an LTR. For the first couple of months as a MINIMUM, you are screening a woman to find if she fits your tastes. No flowers etc.

In an LTR sporadic showings of romance from both parties are good. I would never do soppy Sh!t like love poems but I'll sometimes pick up flowers or book a holiday for us as a reward for good behaviour.

Romance is a nice flavour to an LTR when added sparingly.

 

[Desdinova]

Romance is used to reward your GF for good long-term behaviour.

Here's an example... I've been with my GF for 5 months now and she's been great. A few days ago, I went out to mow my lawn. She had just finished doing my dishes. I went out to get the lawn mower and noticed a few daisies growing in the middle of the lawn. The daisy is her favourite flower, and I get them popping up all over my yard. Instead of mowing them down, I picked one and brought it in for her. She melted.

I fully believe in rewarding women for their continual good behaviour and loyalty. If I were to buy a woman an expensive piece of jewellery, it would be for 25 years of loyalty. Only a stupid man buys women expensive jewellery to impress and/or keep them.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

You guys got it absolutely right. You want to reward good behaviour and you want your actions or gifts to be really small. If you are an aloof guy, when you give her small things/actions, they will acquire a huge importance to her. Two opposite examples:

1: When I was with the girl that drove me here I would constantly buy her ****, because I'm a frugal guy that almost never buys stuff and I liked to give things to my gf and male friends. I still do this with my male friends, if I see a book I know a friend would love, I just have to buy it. Anyhow, she didn't like my presents anymore, it was the regular thing. I became a full-time provider.
2: Back when I was with the german qt, I went on a trip to Portugal and got her a seashell that was lying on the beach. So I sent her a text: "Ich habe eine Etwas für Sie", and of course didn't tell what it was. When I saw her, and gave it to her, I was able to see her heart melting. On the next occasions I went to her place, I could see the seashell lying on her desk.

So only do this **** after you are in a LTR kind of thing, only if she deserves it, and make it as small as you can.

 

[_sideways_]

I use it as a selling point.

 

[Slash Dolo]

Romance is cool but you need to use it the way you'd eat dessert.

Dessert is great. But get it too often and you'll start packing on the pounds, get sick of it, or both. Romance is similar in that it will either pack of pounds of "desperation" in a woman's mind or she'll just get sick of it eventually. Use it sparingly and to improve an already good thing.

 

[CMNILS87]

How come no one here speaks of romance and what not?
Like, I get it...****y funny is the go to thing cuz its universally safe and it attracts. Keeps the frame , etc

But...
Is it then only the handsome blokes that can be sweet and not blow up in their face?

I'm legitimately caring throughout my universe/world/day to day ...and its not ****y funny.

Most Men are raised with good morals and want the best for others and are caring/giving. Men are the "true romantics" as many have said here. Men want the fairytale ending, but women want the fairytale that suits them at that very moment. That's the Disney effect. Romance in the movies, you see the infatuation and early stages of attraction. But the movies always end before you see a long term relationship and marriage.

 

[Mike32ct]

While you're thinking of romance and tenderness, she's thinking of getting reamed by the tall tattoo guy.

Men are the romantics. Women, at best, might only like romance in small doses once in a while.

I'm a gentle, caring guy, but that has never earned me any points with women.

 

[Julian]

LoL romance..romance to me is her deep throating while im face fkin her mouth.

 

[PantyWhisperer]

I'm pretty new here but how a man looks has little to do with how successful you are opiating a woman with romance. It can quickly go to "too much" and she will start to diminish you in her mind. Crazy but true.
You can also get kicked to the curb with not enough romance.

 

[CMNILS87]

I used to be. But after me first relationship I realized it was all bs, and that women only care about what you can do for them / how you can excite them.

I still wish, in a perfect world, I would find the perfect chick who was smart, sexy, exercises, reads, likes to cuddle, cook, everything feminine, but would always appreciate what we would do for each other. Not expect anything in return, but just be grateful that someone is there beside you, ya know? Loyalty is the adjective I'd use to describe this.

And therein lays my opinion: true loyalty is romantic

I literally had my father talking to my 27yr old sister and what the **** does he pull out of thin air. The two bulls on a hill story overlooking the cows... I was like why the **** did you not teach me any of this in high school. "You never asked" was his reply.....

My father is red pill to the core, but a true natural and it pisses me off he never taught me that ****.

Women don't want a "work in progress". They want the fairytale guy to sweep her off her feet and live happily ever after. They don't care about what you do, the work you put in, or anything in between you and being Mr. Perfect. Women love the final product of a man (beef), but when she goes into the factory to see how it's made, she's disgusted with the process. the insecurity, the lack of direction, the pain and loneliness all turn her off. The only way we learn to be a man is to continually learn, accept our faults, pave a path, and fail, fail, fail.

 

[Dingo]

Damn.... You guys are cold... lol

Fvcking is easy.... the human connection is the hard part.

 

[guru1000]

Hmm ...

I remember this one time, I banged this girl and I was feeling very romantic afterwards. So I turned to her and said, "Hon ... What's your name?"

 

[BlueAlpha1]

If you had a red pill father, you were taught better.

All other men who had a normal childhood, had a blue pill father, or just generally weren't sociopathic from day 1 started out a romantic, until a woman ripped his heart out and lit it on fire. Then they learned.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

Romance is subdervience to women, and all the dishonest bs that goes with it. "I love you" from a man translates to "I am your bytch" when a woman hears it. You are tellingbher you are willing to chase her and treat her like the prize.

For all those romantic men out there, how often did the woman you were romancing do romantuc stuff for you? Not that often, huh?

Women have the hard brutal souls of accountants and all they are doing is keeping score. " I only got one red rose this week. What an *******"
They would rather you gave them passion and fvcked the bejeezus out of them than brought a bouquet of flowers. At a fancy restaurant she would rather hear "I want to fvck you so hard right now." than "you are shining like an angel tonight." (or some other soppy, romantic bull****).
Do it occassionally to prove you can and because she's earned it, but she has to work dammed hard to get it.

 

[CMNILS87]

If you had a red pill father, you were taught better.

All other men who had a normal childhood, had a blue pill father, or just generally weren't sociopathic from day 1 started out a romantic, until a woman ripped his heart out and lit it on fire. Then they learned.

I'm genuinely a nice/assertive guy with sarcasm and a huge tease and work ethic. It works very well for dates. What he never taught me was escalation, abundance mentality, and not giving a ****.

 

[marmel75]

How come no one here speaks of romance and what not?
Like, I get it...****y funny is the go to thing cuz its universally safe and it attracts. Keeps the frame , etc

But...
Is it then only the handsome blokes that can be sweet and not blow up in their face?

I'm legitimately caring throughout my universe/world/day to day ...and its not ****y funny.

Because most people are asking for help to get laid or to Fvck a chick they have been on a few dates with. The time for romance is far down the road from where they are at. Once they are in a relationship for 6+ months then they can ask about that. Too many people keep doing the same things they were doing that got them in the relationship which at some point isn't going to keep working...it will signal you don't see her as a long term partner and it will start giving her doubts...you have to change some things once you are at that stage or risk slowly pushing her away

 

[_sideways_]

While you're thinking of romance and tenderness, she's thinking of getting reamed by the tall tattoo guy.

Men are the romantics. Women, at best, might only like romance in small doses once in a while.

I'm a gentle, caring guy, but that has never earned me any points with women.

She's thinking of getting reamed?
Maybe for a weeks time out of the whole month. During that stage in her already convoluted life.
If you have any insight or facts or theories, I want to hear it.
Please

 

[_sideways_]

Hmm ...

I remember this one time, I banged this girl and I was feeling very romantic afterwards. So I turned to her and said, "Hon ... What's your name?"

I'd bet it was Herpes.
Lol jk guru.
Much respect for all that I read you have accomplished.
But my point in asking is to point out that if only ****y and funny got us there, then that's boring cuz its too formulaic.

 

[_sideways_]

I appreciate you guys even commenting on this silly question.
Usually when I treat my girls with respect and kindness, even if I'm not their type or sexy in their eyes, I get something back from them.
Not pvssy obviously. Haha

I am not over the top romantic like an 80s movie. But I try to acknowledge that the females I date probably put some time aside during their day to think about me. I know I have their attention and I appreciate it, if even for that small moment when I realize we are all creatures of beauty in this flying rock of grass in a huge void.

That's not to say I haven't had my heart broken.
Its dust by now.
But my next love doesn't know that. she will fall in love, and I have to know how to be romantic, caring, for her sake. For , if, my family sake.
I'm just trying to find a balance from c0cky funny to real and honest.
Otherwise, I'll never surrender to the insta fb twitter and volunteer my life away and find solace in that.