Girlfriend going to Vegas..

[dice]

Thanks everyone for the responses no matter how harsh some of them were lol. I see both sides of the argument and what you guys are typing is like whats been going on in my own head for 5 days of not speaking to her..like a constant back and forth. The fact remains..people are way more likely to lose inhibitions in Vegas than anywhere else, and they're holding "mixers" all 3 nights she's there. Still not sure which way to go with this..

 

[playa99]

@dice I have been the guy who is petrified of his girlfriend going away because she may or may not cheat.

It gets you absolutely nowhere. There is nothing to stop your GF cheating at anytime, the sooner you accept this the better.

Get on with your own life, if she does cheat & you find out then finish her. You being scared of her doing it doesn't change anything.

It comes down to whether or not it is you being insecure, or you having reason not to trust your girl based on your history with her. Only you know which scenario it is based on the information given.

I have friends who have been to Magaluf & not cheated. It comes down to the individual, not the place.

 

[Von]

I do these 3 times a year.. sometimes in different cities and even different countries.

These things in liberal profession are often game changers for those who attends, and some even get to keep their jobs (cause they mandatory). Those flirting happens of course. Those sex happens barely cause every one wants to look good in the eyes of the higher ups... they will judge/analyze you there.

At every convention I went we emptied the bar, no girls want to be the girl who bangs co-worker.

Stuff can happens but you have to trust her. Control yourself.

If you can't she's gone.

That's why has a man, I want girl who understand my career/business: that I network, that I work from 8am to 11pm during the week, that have conventions and office trips at least 3weeks a year.

 

[WhiskeyTango]

You have already lost her with that mindset.

 

[Yewki]

I thought about it a lot and I don't think I want to be in a relationship with someone that is going to Vegas without me

You should be OK with losing her at any time

If you want to worry, worry about how weak and insecure you're acting

 

[Sho-No-Luv]

Hmm, then you already have doubts about her. In my experince if your having doubts then somethings already off about the relationship. Sure she ain't already creeping? In my opinion the insecure husband, boyfriend thing is mostly a myth. You are having doubts based on micro changes, responses and variations in her body language, tone of voice and habits.

Me personally I have never ever in my life known a man that had doubts that were unwarranted. In each and every case they turned out to be more than insecurities. The female in question was either cheating, in an affair, ending an affair or just starting one. Also after these men found out about these affairs they could almost always remember variations and changes, little adjustments that while seemingly insignificant were hints tword much deeper things happening underneath that were much worse. With that being said you could be just an insecure dude, although I really doubt it!!!

If you have doubts, just trust your gut, you'll see!

 

[LiveYourDream]

OP--You have a WAY bigger issue than your GF possibly cheating on you in Vegas. That is your lack of solidity in yourself and in your life, no matter what happens. To be so devastated, at the idea, that something could happen, that you respond in fear and as if your world is already/ or going to implode from the inside-out, speaks volumes. It's a rough way to live.

I encourage to step back and look at YOU. Look at how "an idea" of something blows you completely off your center.

I understand the concerns about your girl with lots of men partying it up in Vegas. I get it.

The bigger issue isn't whether she cheats, or are you so fearful you break-up before she goes. The bigger issue is you have no foundation that supports you. Without one you feel powerless to her work itinerary, to the alcohol and men that will surround her, and to all that could possibly happen.

I am in no way suggesting a woman cheating on a man is not devastating, nor attempting to minimize that potential betrayal and pain. I am saying you need to have a more solid foundation in yourself and in your life, regardless if that were to ever happen. A man centered in himself, would not be scampering in anticipated pain. He'd know that if a woman stepped out on him that it would be the biggest regret of her life. He'd know that there are plenty of great women, that will happily snatch up the opportunity to be his new GF.

If you break-up before she goes, only do it to get yourself together, to work on you. Don't do it out of fear. Whatever you choose, focus on building your self esteem and your life so you know, without exception, that you are an amazing catch for a woman and that your life will move forward in great ways whether you have one riding with you, at the moment or not.

Step out of powerlessness and back into your power. Your life is your own. It will move forward in great ways, with or without her. She doesn't own your destiny. You do. Make it yours. You are the leader in your life.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

OP--You have a WAY bigger issue than your GF possibly cheating on you in Vegas. That is your lack of solidity in yourself and in your life, no matter what happens. To be so devastated, at the idea, that something could happen, that you respond in fear and as if your world is already/ or going to implode from the inside-out, speaks volumes. It's a rough way to live.

I encourage to step back and look at YOU. Look at how "an idea" of something blows you completely off your center.

I understand the concerns about your girl with lots of men partying it up in Vegas. I get it.

The bigger issue isn't whether she cheats, or are you so fearful you break-up before she goes. The bigger issue is you have no foundation that supports you. Without one you feel powerless to her work itinerary, to the alcohol and men that will surround her, and to all that could possibly happen.

I am in no way suggesting a woman cheating on a man is not devastating, nor attempting to minimize that potential betrayal and pain. I am saying you need to have a more solid foundation in yourself and in your life, regardless if that were to ever happen. A man centered in himself, would not be scampering in anticipated pain. He'd know that if a woman stepped out on him that it would be the biggest regret of her life. He'd know that there are plenty of great women, that will happily snatch up the opportunity to be his new GF.

If you break-up before she goes, only do it to get yourself together, to work on you. Don't do it out of fear. Whatever you choose, focus on building your self esteem and your life so you know, without exception, that you are an amazing catch for a woman and that your life will move forward in great ways whether you have one riding with you, at the moment or not.

Step out of powerlessness and back into your power. Your life is your own. It will move forward in great ways, with or without her. She doesn't own your destiny. You do. Make it yours. You are the leader in your life.

Quoted for truth.

 

[dice]

Spare me the "you need to think more highly of yourself and if she cheats its the biggest loss of her life" speech because I KNOW that that is true. My anger is not from a place of desperation, I will do just fine as will she. I know she can't do better than me. My issue is my lack of faith in other people, it's not that im worried about losing her its about people lacking integrity. I've always told her if you cheat on me thats fine, just let me know, don't not tell me and continue to let me live with a cheating girlfriend as that will be a waste of time and very hurtful. Again, thank you everyone for your responses positive or negative they are appreciated.

 

[LiveYourDream]

I've always told her if you cheat on me thats fine, just let me know, don't not tell me and continue to let me live with a cheating girlfriend as that will be a waste of time and very hurtful.

"thats fine"

 

[LiveYourDream]

My issue is my lack of faith in other people, it's not that im worried about losing her its about people lacking integrity. I've always told her if you cheat on me thats fine, just let me know, don't not tell me and continue to let me live with a cheating girlfriend as that will be a waste of time and very hurtful. Again, thank you everyone for your responses positive or negative they are appreciated.

You've set yourself up. The standard you communicated is that it's "fine" for her to cheat on you, as long as she tells you soon after and your relationship ends. You say you are worried about her lacking integrity. She's not lacking integrity. The standard says she can go to Vegas, cheat on you all she wants, as long as she tells you soon after, and expects the relationship to end, so you don't live with a cheating girlfriend.

Perhaps you don't realize what you've set up for yourself. The only thing you've made not ok, is her not telling you soon after and continuing the relationship. The expectation you communicated isn't that she remain faithful to you always. The expectation you communicated is that you expect at some point she may cheat or upgrade to another man and to simply please let you know quickly, rather than lead you on. You communicated that you will be ok with her cheating as long she tells you quickly and your relationship ends. You made it sound like you understand you'll be turning in the rental car and you just need her to let you know when, so you can turn the keys in and there will be no hard feelings.

Her cheating isn't an integrity issue, if you set it up with agreements about what will unfold when it happens and told her that..IT"S FINE! Don't misunderstand me, I'd call it cheating, under the terms of betrayal, had you NOT told her it would be fine and here's how you will handle it.

According to your agreement she has permission to cheat, as long as she lets you know quickly and expects the consequence of the relationship ending.

If she does cheat, certainly end the relationship and move on immediately.

 

[amethyst]

Look, you should probably use this time to evaluate your relationship and see if you are both truly happy in it. The reason why I am saying this is because usually when you are in a happy relationship you are not really worried about cheating. Cheating usually happens when one of the parties is not happy with the relationship and is looking for something they are not getting at home.

Also I would also advice that you rethink the way you are expressing yourself because saying that she would use her body to "advance her career" is not only very misogynistic, but also makes it sound like you don't really respect her at all. You may want to evaluate if this is something you feel, because if you don't respect someone you can't really trust them and if you can't trust them you really shouldn't be with them.

I agree with a lot of the posts when they say that if she cheats there she has probably done it before, so get an STD check to see if you have something that shouldn't be there. If not, then at least you know she is careful about it and, in a sense, will not have lasting repercussions if you do find out further on that she has been with other men.

In the end you have two choices really, you either let this consume you and make it into something that will destroy your relationship or you just let it go, because if she has really cheated on you when you find out the outcome will be the same, only that you will save yourself the grief you are putting yourself in.

Anyway hope this is of some use, if you need to chat just send me PM and we can have a talk.

Love,

Amethyst

 

[BrainDamage92]

Dude dont listen to those guys she ridin CEO **** thats the hard (get it?) truth. You got the gut feel shes cheating, then she is, this has nothing to do with being insecure and ****, its about higher than you status male bosses. Observe her behavior when she comes back. But the part where you said its fine to cheat.... damn thats weak

 

[dice]

I never said it was fine to cheat i made that very clear to her that it would end our relationship

 

[LiveYourDream]

I never said it was fine to cheat i made that very clear to her that it would end our relationship

I've always told her if you cheat on me thats fine, just let me know, don't not tell me and continue to let me live with a cheating girlfriend as that will be a waste of time and very hurtful.

I got that you would end the relationship. She got that. What you are missing is that if you actually, as you posted, communicated that you are fine with it, just for her to let you know soon after so you can end the relationship, conveys a whole different expectation of her potential cheating behavior and how you perceive yourself as a man. I understand that either way the relationship ends. She gets that. What you communicated by adding in, "that's fine" is very different, as I explained in the other post. The words may seem subtle and almost insignificant to you, but what they actually convey is a very different message (beyond the relationship being over). It seems you didn't realize that. That's ok. We are all here to learn and grow.

 

[john1234]

My advice is you need to take action! Something is definitely up by the sounds of it.

Your own words are that "She is very pretty and loves being the center of attention.", this type of woman usually has too many options in her eyes in a place like Vegas, in the mist of CEO types ....... Why can't she take 10seconds to send you a text message? Very loving relationship Ey.

Don't breakup with her! Don't make a big deal out of it. Just do the same. You need to start looking for another woman .
She has gone for 4 days (Dude I would be doing the chicken dance off to the bar to sarge).

Hang in there dude

 

[john1234]

I got that you would end the relationship. She got that. What you are missing is that if you actually, as you posted, communicated that you are fine with it, just for her to let you know soon after so you can end the relationship, conveys a whole different expectation of her potential cheating behavior and how you perceive yourself as a man. I understand that either way the relationship ends. She gets that. What you communicated by adding in, "that's fine" is very different, as I explained in the other post. The words may seem subtle and almost insignificant to you, but what they actually convey is a very different message (beyond the relationship being over). It seems you didn't realize that. That's ok. We are all here to learn and grow.

You should have said "Don't cheat on me or else I will dump your azz to the kerb so fast!"