Intetesting situation...

[BackInTheGame78]

Been out with this women twice, first time she was all over me, very sexually into me, but then ended up getting together with some dude that she was also seeing...no problem, told her to hit me up if things don't work out...

About 6 weeks later she hits me up and we end up meeting, we go for a walk in a park, lots of making out, etc...and she tells me she hasn't decided what category I should be in...and I laughed and told her probably the one I seem to be in for most women, and she asked which one was that and I tell her the one where they want to have sex with me but not be my girlfriend...she laughed and was like yeah, that's definitely the one I was thinking...

So date ends, no sex, I escalated as far as I could...talked a few times here and there over the past 2 weeks, she was out of town the last week. Hit her up today and she said "Hey! Glad to here from you BITG I'm in between appointments right now, but I wanted to know how you'd feel about taking me out to dinner sometime?"

Think this is a case of going over alpha on dates...she's obviously physically attracted since she has mentioned how muscular and awesome my body is...

I'm assuming this is either:

a) a sh!t test to see how much I want to spend time with her or

b) seeing if I'm willing to get to know and spend time with her in a typical "date" type setting...

Personally I wouldn't mind taking her out but I'm a little put off that she would ask for that up front.

So I'm questioning what's the play here and what's her angle? Is she wanting to use me for a free meal or is she wanting me to show her I'm interested in more than fvcking her brains out?

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

'I hope you like McDonald's'.

Seriously though, don't be spending mega bucks on her. She's obviously in to you without need for all that, and the other guy obviously fcked up.

May be take her for a drink first. Dinner is a bit formal already plus you don't know if she's just fishing for a free feed. Get tipsy and escalate. You know the deal.

 

[blind_one]

You could also tell her to bring some ingredients/a bottle of wine to your place so she can cook for you/ cook together.
Many a DJ suggested this before and I am also an advocate of this approach.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

'I hope you like McDonald's'.

Seriously though, don't be spending mega bucks on her. She's obviously in to you without need for all that, and the other guy obviously fcked up.

May be take her for a drink first. Dinner is a bit formal already plus you don't know if she's just fishing for a free feed. Get tipsy and escalate. You know the deal.

Maybe I wasn't clear...the other guy already fvcked up which is why she contacted me after 6 weeks...went on date 2, then haven't seen in about 2 weeks...

That being said she was upfront that she is also dating other guys, and I'm like that's good because I'm dating other women...

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You could also tell her to bring some ingredients/a bottle of wine to your place so she can cook for you/ cook together.
Many a DJ suggested this before and I am also an advocate of this approach.

My place is out, it would have to be at her place...already learned my lesson about letting random chicks know where I live.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

'I hope you like McDonald's'.

Seriously though, don't be spending mega bucks on her. She's obviously in to you without need for all that, and the other guy obviously fcked up.

May be take her for a drink first. Dinner is a bit formal already plus you don't know if she's just fishing for a free feed. Get tipsy and escalate. You know the deal.

I never would spend megabucks...in fact I really don't want to spend any money until after I fvck her...but obviously I can't just come out and say that to her.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Does she have her own place? I think it' a bit sus that she straight asks for dinner, but then I don't know her. Maybe she's willing to split the bill.

Either go for the drink which is simpler/cheaper, or suggest something else that's free. Then escalate.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Does she have her own place? I think it' a bit sus that she straight asks for dinner, but then I don't know her. Maybe she's willing to split the bill.

Either go for the drink which is simpler, or suggest something else that's free. Then escalate.

Yes she has her own place...maybe offer to come over and cook dinner for her? I'm a damn good cook...she will definitely be putting out after that.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Yes she has her own place...maybe offer to come over and cook dinner for her? I'm a damn good cook...she will definitely be putting out after that.

Why not, hey. You have nothing to lose. Let us know how it goes!

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Why not, hey. You have nothing to lose. Let us know how it goes!

I sent her the tease "Hope you like McDonalds! " and when she responds I'll tell her I was just messing with her and that I actually have a better idea and break down how I'm a good cook and I'll cook us dinner, blah blah blah

 

[BeExcellent]

If she doesn't respond at all or if you get a huffy response then you can bet that she's looking for a free meal ticket.

The fact that she asked you to take her out to dinner strikes me as terribly presumptive.

As in "Gee he'd like to get with me...why don't I get a fancy dinner out of it."

A woman who really liked you wouldn't do that. She'd simply make her availability known so you can do the inviting to a venue of your choosing & then she'd be delighted to go.

Her response (if you get one) will tell you everything.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

A woman who really liked you wouldn't do that. She'd simply make her availability known so you can do the inviting to a venue of your choosing & then she'd be delighted to go.

I agree with your sentiment entirely. But understand, this may also be the blue pill condition of romance at work here. The meal ticket is also a distinct possibility, but there is also an equally good chance that she blindly thinks these are the motions she (they) have to go through to formulate a relationship of any kind sexual or otherwise. At the very least, she is attempting to nullify the danger of slt-shame with the pretense of 'dinner first'.

It's a shame in this day and age, with all the neo-liberal expectations, all the gender transformation, political indiscretion, that two consenting adults can't just hook up and have sex without some sort of taboo arising.

 

[BrainDamage92]

The thing is you fuked up with the answer. No girl wants to her she will just be used for sex so blatantly. "The kinda girl I want to have fun with" sounds better.

 

[BeExcellent]

The thing is you fuked up with the answer. No girl wants to her she will just be used for sex so blatantly. "The kinda girl I want to have fun with" sounds better.

The above is quite true unless she is an out and out slvt. But I still find her instruction for you to ask her out to dinner (and pay for it) offensive and aggressive.

A wise woman would have been more coy and given OP a more open and demure opportunity to ask her out (him thus demonstrating to her sufficient interest to do so.)

Instead her approach was clumsy at best and did not allow OP the masculinity to show initiative. This kills attraction.

She will probably feel somewhat affronted by the McDonald's suggestion, (although I think it both humorous and appropriate) but won't realize her demeanor started the whole thing.