wow..bpd ex claims roofie an rape

[mrgoodstuff]

I have said it multiple times on this forum... Stop thinking that people with mental illness are rational. Stop applying your rational and logical notions to them. You cannot understand the illogical by looking at logically.

There is no cure for insanity... You cannot help her, in fact you being around her makes her condition worse. Believe me, you being with her reinforces her delusions and feeds and amplifies the disorder. Let me explain... The emotional swings of a relationship are not good for somebody with Cluster B, it loosens our grip on what little control of our psyche and behavior that we could possibly have. Furthermore, you being with her reinforces the idea that she is ok and that she is not delusional and you also provide a distraction for her thinking about herself. This is not good, the only way she will heal is if she is focused on herself and her problems. When the only thing left to blame is herself...

The BEST thing you can do for her and for yourself is to stay away from her. Take confort in knowing that by doing this you are actually helping her more than you could if you were with her.

Her story was a fabrication that she created to try and control you. People with cluster B lie all the time, in fact it may sound absurd to a rational person like you but sometimes Cluster B people believe in the lie so much that their entire perception is altered. They can literally take polygraphs, blatantly lie on it, and come out negative because they actually BELIEVE their fiction truly happened. She was doing it because her condition, BPD, includes fears of abandonment. Her mind fabricated that absurd story out of her unconscious fears of abandonment.

Even if you don't give her mood swings, giving her a "good" relationship or feeding her "good" when she is being BPD is not good for her. It's not good to support or prop them up, they need to work those demons out on their own. Enabling them makes them much worse.

 

[YawataNoKami]

sooo my bpd ex ive been seperated from for over a month. well we ended on extremely bad terms...i decided i would meet with her for some final closure

so we meet up halfway as i moved 3 hours away an changed my phone number etc. i have no doubt she was gettig fked by guys. she admitted to 2 dates where nothing happened, and a drunken makeout.

i have been a major piece of **** and also was not faithful throughout our relationship. so im not trying to be a major hypocrite here. i realize its a flawed relationship.

well back to the story, we meet up to confess forgive an forget and move on. well of course we start getting sexual and all of a sudden she freezes and confesses a week ago she got extemely drunk, thinks she was roofied (lie) and woke up in a truck near her house after she walked home alone.

this story seems so unreal, i chalked it up to her having taken random d1ck, but having a conciense enough to not wanna potentially infect me. but not wanting to admit she was a slut.

she wont admit the truth. i pressed her and told her look if you ****ed people you ****ed people...i can handle the truth. shes adament she didnt and is stickig to her roofie story.

yet she didnt go to police or anything. she got tested a couple days ago and webt to get examined. seems like alot of showing out. idk. didnt think she would drop that bombshell on me. crazy chicks mann.sad really to think about it

You have been a member since 2003; 13 years . You should know better.

 

[xstang77]

I feel for you man I'm going through some bpd ex **** myself,there really is no winning with them,was doing fwb with mine after break up,she comes over and acts lovey,sleeps with me then less then 4 days later is in the arms of another guy,it should be burning my soul but from dealing with her so long there's honestly not much left and I almost feel reliefed she is,as I'm sure you know the disorder always wins always.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I feel for you man I'm going through some bpd ex **** myself,there really is no winning with them,was doing fwb with mine after break up,she comes over and acts lovey,sleeps with me then less then 4 days later is in the arms of another guy,it should be burning my soul but from dealing with her so long there's honestly not much left and I almost feel reliefed she is,as I'm sure you know the disorder always wins always.

I understand when you say "relieved" you actually mean "relieved". Be thankful. If she has stuff at your place offer to move it over to her new paramours home.

 

[xstang77]

I threw most of the remainder of it away when I saw the original pics,she's recently uploaded more,either to spite me or has completely moved on and forgot me,I think one of my strongest weapons at this point is remain nc

 

[Julian]

You have been a member since 2003; 13 years . You should know better.

You would think right? How could I know better when I never experienced it though? I used to be the guy on here saying guys who fall for BPD women are lames and that BPD is just a female running you because you are beta etc...then I met a BPD. Up until this point in my life I had never encountered a BPD woman in a relationship on this level.



Some closing thoughts here:

Be careful who you fall for. I definitely should have followed my gut, but at the time I was in a tough spot in my life and it was a perfect storm...a recipe for disaster.

Im lucky compared to alot of guys out there. I associate that with help from God, my own personal level of alpha, and the fact my BPD ex, while emotional and very unstable... isnt sadistic like some of these slores can be.

In the end my bpd ex has been clinically diagnosed finally, is self aware, has admitted to me alot of her sins, blames herself for the majority of the problems we had and knows she lost a good catch. She's told me she realizes shes a fk up and its hard for her to control and blabla etcetc. You get the idea. Basically she hasnt been a psycho at all about this breakup. All I can do is pray that continues. Ive gone NC. She still texts me sporadically now but I dont feel the need to reply.

Like you guys said, its been a "relief"..a weight off of my shoulders. My soul feels a bit lighter, albeit saddened by having dealt with all this. But at the same time in the grand scheme of things it was a good learning experience if anything. Would I do it again? Lol..knowing what I know now, no I wouldnt. I just have to think of the crazy drunk rages she had and the self harm.

 

[xstang77]

Honestly I should have kicked her to the curb after she left the first time and broke off our engagement (yup I was that sucker) the negative thoughts help,she's very low functioning,10 jobs in 2 years horrible credit and honestly seeing her with that guy just made her look ugly to me lol, don't get me wrong I'll probably still hit it if I get to that point of despair. I agree it's better for them to leave them alone to like mentioned,but that only does so much,there bed never goes cold I mean look at mine second guy in a month,people are just naive and her friends just continue to support her. Anyways sorry to hijack your thread.