wow..bpd ex claims roofie an rape

[Julian]

sooo my bpd ex ive been seperated from for over a month. well we ended on extremely bad terms...i decided i would meet with her for some final closure

so we meet up halfway as i moved 3 hours away an changed my phone number etc. i have no doubt she was gettig fked by guys. she admitted to 2 dates where nothing happened, and a drunken makeout.

i have been a major piece of **** and also was not faithful throughout our relationship. so im not trying to be a major hypocrite here. i realize its a flawed relationship.

well back to the story, we meet up to confess forgive an forget and move on. well of course we start getting sexual and all of a sudden she freezes and confesses a week ago she got extemely drunk, thinks she was roofied (lie) and woke up in a truck near her house after she walked home alone.

this story seems so unreal, i chalked it up to her having taken random d1ck, but having a conciense enough to not wanna potentially infect me. but not wanting to admit she was a slut.

she wont admit the truth. i pressed her and told her look if you ****ed people you ****ed people...i can handle the truth. shes adament she didnt and is stickig to her roofie story.

yet she didnt go to police or anything. she got tested a couple days ago and webt to get examined. seems like alot of showing out. idk. didnt think she would drop that bombshell on me. crazy chicks mann.sad really to think about it

 

[MillionBillionaire]

Get ready for the worst.. I have had a girlfriends friends claim fake rape to a nice guy and he ended up in jail for 4 months with the threat of deportation.. lost his job and everything .

Get all the evidence you can on you NOT raping her because your life and your good name may very well depend on it. Here in the state of Minnesota those claims are guilty until proven innocent.

 

[KingBeef]

sooo my bpd ex ive been seperated from for over a month. well we ended on extremely bad terms...i decided i would meet with her for some final closure

so we meet up halfway as i moved 3 hours away an changed my phone number etc. i have no doubt she was gettig fked by guys. she admitted to 2 dates where nothing happened, and a drunken makeout.

i have been a major piece of **** and also was not faithful throughout our relationship. so im not trying to be a major hypocrite here. i realize its a flawed relationship.

well back to the story, we meet up to confess forgive an forget and move on. well of course we start getting sexual and all of a sudden she freezes and confesses a week ago she got extemely drunk, thinks she was roofied (lie) and woke up in a truck near her house after she walked home alone.

this story seems so unreal, i chalked it up to her having taken random d1ck, but having a conciense enough to not wanna potentially infect me. but not wanting to admit she was a slut.

she wont admit the truth. i pressed her and told her look if you ****ed people you ****ed people...i can handle the truth. shes adament she didnt and is stickig to her roofie story.

yet she didnt go to police or anything. she got tested a couple days ago and webt to get examined. seems like alot of showing out. idk. didnt think she would drop that bombshell on me. crazy chicks mann.sad really to think about it

No offense Julian but you need to get ripped for this.

WHY IN THE HELL ARE YOU TRYING TO RE-KINDLE ANY INTERACTION WITH A SADISTIC, BPD EX??

 

[El Payaso]

Don't stick your pee pee in crazy.

 

[dude99]

sooo my bpd ex ive been seperated from for over a month. well we ended on extremely bad terms...i decided i would meet with her for some final closure

so we meet up halfway as i moved 3 hours away an changed my phone number etc. i have no doubt she was gettig fked by guys. she admitted to 2 dates where nothing happened, and a drunken makeout.

i have been a major piece of **** and also was not faithful throughout our relationship. so im not trying to be a major hypocrite here. i realize its a flawed relationship.

well back to the story, we meet up to confess forgive an forget and move on. well of course we start getting sexual and all of a sudden she freezes and confesses a week ago she got extemely drunk, thinks she was roofied (lie) and woke up in a truck near her house after she walked home alone.

this story seems so unreal, i chalked it up to her having taken random d1ck, but having a conciense enough to not wanna potentially infect me. but not wanting to admit she was a slut.

she wont admit the truth. i pressed her and told her look if you ****ed people you ****ed people...i can handle the truth. shes adament she didnt and is stickig to her roofie story.

yet she didnt go to police or anything. she got tested a couple days ago and webt to get examined. seems like alot of showing out. idk. didnt think she would drop that bombshell on me. crazy chicks mann.sad really to think about it

She is an ex. She is BPD. Truth or not it isn't your problem. She is looking to sucker you back in. Tell her to go to the police and leave you alone.

If she is trying to sucker you back in with this imagine how much hell you will be in for down the road

 

[BlueAlpha1]

You deserve whatever you get for going back for some "final closure"

 

[LiveYourDream]

sooo my bpd ex ive been seperated from for over a month. well we ended on extremely bad terms...i decided i would meet with her for some final closure

One doesn't gain "final closure" with a BPD, by re-engaging them.

You know better and yet you did it anyway. I am not suggesting shame. I am suggesting your deepest and most honest self reflection.

Truth--
Why did you do it? What are you still seeking from her (whether it makes sense or not)? What beliefs have you still hooked in? What fantasy, hope, wish, are you still chasing?

There is great power in honesty. Be honest with yourself. Denial isn't going to get you free, happy, or the life you truly want.

 

[logicallefty]

Not having closure after a relationship like this can be tough, but jail is tougher. Listen to the others, run Forest run.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Not having closure after a relationship like this can be tough, but jail is tougher. Listen to the others, run Forest run.

The closure is to never talk to them again. Trying to verbalize or communicate the closure just sucks you back in.

 

[playa99]

DO NOT GET ROPED BACK IN.

What do you have to gain getting closure? You know she's BPD. You must know yourself this leads nowhere good

 

[Julian]

Yeah everybody..I messed up here!

Thanks for keeping me back on track...there is a reason her and I are not together!

 

[BrainDamage92]

The closure is to never talk to them again. Trying to verbalize or communicate the closure just sucks you back in.

this

 

[cola]

You guys dont read. He didnt say she said he raped her. She said someone else could have.

But anyways, run far away from this chick. No calls, no text ever again in life.

 

[Julian]

yeah guys you are right...i got roped back in. keep in mind i have videos of her being sexual with me, which she consented to...also have vids of her freaking out, hitting herself, screaming etc. shes been oficially diagnosed bpd by the medical establishment and has a hefty medical record from anxiety to depression, bpd now etc.

she knows i have way too much dirt on her for her to try anything stupid..and shes not malicious by nature thankfully.

yet still she is chaos incarnate. shes a damned tornado that wants to suck the life from me. i gave in to meeting her because the negative energy was wearing on me. had to face her one last time to smooth things over.

the meeting went well..she cried an begged etc. i wanna leave a good impression on all those i come across..i helped her get diagnosed, she thanked me and told me she is greatful i was able to help with that...and etc etc. i also was lonely..and having limited options made me go to her as well and hope things worked out.

but yea..her and i will never ever ever ever get back together.. #tswift

its literally impossible for us to get along. every night shes been takig forever to text back, keeping her social life busy..last night i go out and barely text her and all of a sudden its a bunch of attitude from her. so hypocritical its bs.

 

[Dingo]

Don't stick your pee pee in crazy.

This ^.... but it is so difficult not to some times.....

 

[LiveYourDream]

i also was lonely..and having limited options made me go to her as well and hope things worked out

^^^^^ This is why YOU went and saw her and why YOU CONTINUE to be in contact with her. Focus on resolving these issues of YOURS and you'll move on with your life. Ignore them and you'll keep riding her merry-go-round in circles, over and over again. It's fulfillment is only an illusion.

every night shes been taking forever to text back, keeping her social life busy..last night i go out and barely text her and all of a sudden its a bunch of attitude from her. so hypocritical its bs.

Julian, here^^^^ is more truth. You paraded the story of wanting closure, again. You meet up with her. What happens then. Do YOU close the book? Do YOU move on? Nope...YOU text with her everyday after. You whine that she has a life and takes too long to reply to you. Desperate for your ex-bpd's attention!!! That's you!

That's what YOUR actions say. Who do you think you are kidding to suggest otherwise? YOUR words and actions do NOT match!!!! If you want to have a better life then ACT accordingly. Right now, you are acting like you are still hoping your BPD ex is going to spontaneously become healthy, want you back and give you a happily ever after, and just as you are, so YOU don't have to take responsibility for YOUR actions and YOUR life and ACTUALLY change YOU.

Denial is not your friend Julian. The longer you play in it, the more of your life that just passes you by. When you turn and look back and wonder what happened to all the possibilities and all the potentials, you'll see...it wasn't because your ex was a BPD, it was because YOU chose to stay in denial about YOU and YOUR life. Wake Up!!! or not...

 

[Julian]

LYD...that was very on point. i do have delusions of her getting better and us being happy and blabla...the reality is...its not a reality..i shouldnt be desperate for her any longer. i neee to focus on my own life an opportunities...like i said i moved 3 hours from her and changed my number...but my heart was still with her. but not anymore

 

[LiveYourDream]

LYD...that was very on point. i do have delusions of her getting better and us being happy and blabla...the reality is...its not a reality..i shouldnt be desperate for her any longer. i neee to focus on my own life an opportunities...like i said i moved 3 hours from her and changed my number...but my heart was still with her. but not anymore

@Jaylan--NC with a ltr-BPD ex is far easier said than done. I understand that from the inside-out. I am working a similar process the best I can right now, as well. It can be massively challenging. I realize what I wrote to you, while perhaps direct and on point, also lacked compassion and was quite harsh. I see now that I was projecting my frustrations with myself and my own situation, onto you and your situation. I realize I wasn't as centered, as would have been best, when I responded. I apologize. I will use the opportunity to be more aware moving forward. Wishing well in your own healing and process of getting free.

 

[GoodOne123]

Man you shouldn't have seen her again, besides, you don't really get proper closure with crazy girls no matter how hard you try.

That roofie story was used to elicit sympathy, and lure you back in. Now you feel like staying around to protect her for a bit, even if it's just as friends. That will be a huge mistake if you do.

You need to abort and get rid of her right now forever. If shes anything like my crazy ex, she will secretly be hurt by the first breakup, and will want revenge. These girls may spread false rumours to ruin your name, or worse yet, run to the police with a fake story and get you in jail or court. Even if you disprove her claims, the allegation alone will be enough to tarnish your name. It's scary to think or may be a possibility and not worth the risk.

What I did was to make excuses to go meet up with her, when she would contact me. I would also deliberately become boring and cold with her. She slowly but surely left me alone, but it took a few months. I think in psychology this is called the "grey rock" technique, it worked well for me.

The problem with going NC right away with crazies is that it may send them into a fit of rage, or make them try harder. That's why you need to kill her interest in you by using the grey rock technique first, and then go NC after that. But whatever you do do not see her again.

 

[Asmodeus]

LYD...that was very on point. i do have delusions of her getting better and us being happy and blabla...the reality is...its not a reality..i shouldnt be desperate for her any longer. i neee to focus on my own life an opportunities...like i said i moved 3 hours from her and changed my number...but my heart was still with her. but not anymore

I have said it multiple times on this forum... Stop thinking that people with mental illness are rational. Stop applying your rational and logical notions to them. You cannot understand the illogical by looking at logically.

There is no cure for insanity... You cannot help her, in fact you being around her makes her condition worse. Believe me, you being with her reinforces her delusions and feeds and amplifies the disorder. Let me explain... The emotional swings of a relationship are not good for somebody with Cluster B, it loosens our grip on what little control of our psyche and behavior that we could possibly have. Furthermore, you being with her reinforces the idea that she is ok and that she is not delusional and you also provide a distraction for her thinking about herself. This is not good, the only way she will heal is if she is focused on herself and her problems. When the only thing left to blame is herself...

The BEST thing you can do for her and for yourself is to stay away from her. Take confort in knowing that by doing this you are actually helping her more than you could if you were with her.

Her story was a fabrication that she created to try and control you. People with cluster B lie all the time, in fact it may sound absurd to a rational person like you but sometimes Cluster B people believe in the lie so much that their entire perception is altered. They can literally take polygraphs, blatantly lie on it, and come out negative because they actually BELIEVE their fiction truly happened. She was doing it because her condition, BPD, includes fears of abandonment. Her mind fabricated that absurd story out of her unconscious fears of abandonment.