If a female who has some degree of BPD and a male who has some form of ASPD/Sociopathy (basically, two people with Cluster B traits), were to date or enter into a 'relationship', how would that look?
Well, I have direct experience in this... I have wrote on this subject here before.
Would the male be relatively unfazed by the females attempts at manipulations, mind games and mood swings?
Yes. In fact, it becomes a bit of strange game. Pushing buttons to see the responses, then using their fear of abandonment against them. It is like you know they will not just leave, that they will just keep taking it and running on a repeat cycle through idealization/devaluation.
Could they have a mutual respect for one another and make the relationship work? I think I read somewhere that BPD's subconsciously need and seek men with ASPD behaviours and this is the only set up that could work.
ASPD seems to go through the same exact patterns in relationships. This is something I have personally observed in and learned more about in the conversations with numerous other people with it and those who have been in relationships with the. This includes love bombing at first, then going through a kind of spiral of ever increasing controls and abuse (gaslighting) followed by dowsing. This is behaviorism a psychological manipulation, a kind of conditioning similar to what was observed by B.F. Skinner and induction of a feeling of learned helplessness. You erode her reality by making her think what she is experiencing is not so bad, causing a gradual acceptance of the abuses. It is very hard for me to explain all this to you... You would need a PhD in psychology to get it all. I will just say that ASPD men without any knowledge of psychology or any experience in such apply these very complex mind games and psychological manipulations almost unconsciously as if they were master psychotherapists. I say unconsciously as it is just something that is done, people assume that ASPD cases plan all this out but it is actually something that is innate and done without even realizing it.
The two pathologies of ASPD and BPD kind of attract each other. The BPD girl has traits that ASPD men like in how intense and sexual she is, also she initially idealized the other person feeding into the narcissism and need to be approved that ASPD has. The ASPD guy love bombs at first, flooding the woman with affection and making them think as though they are special, this is what the BPD girl with her fear of abandonment desires. Both of them tend to be reckless and impulsive, but also accepting of the others impulsiveness. Imagine a bust of passionate chaos... The BPD girl responds much better to the gaslighting and dowsing. Her fear of abandonment and her senses off self emptiness (which is a trait in ASPD also) and her unstable self-image are very easy for the guy with ASPD to manipulate. However, the BPD girl is far less affected by the abuses, despite having more intense emotional reactions they typically do not internalize things as they are use to chaos and stormy emotional lives.
However...
Or would they eventually cannibalise each other with their deceitful natures?
This... These kinds of relationships end up becoming highly pathological. Typically becoming very abusive. But this is of course typical in both ASPD and BPD relationshps in general. However, it becomes magnified when both parties take part in the manipulaitons and abuse. Suh a thing can only last so long before it becomes too much
It is very complex dynamics and hard to explain everything. However, I will say that BPD girls tend to not have as much of a long term negative effect on ASPD men. I see so many posts here and elsewhere about men who need to "recover" from it, but for ASPD there was never that kind of attachment. Also, the BPD does not suffer so much as she devalues the individual with ASPD and is thus able to move on easily
