Should Have Saw It Coming

[piranha45]

I found the Female Lure video to be common sense, and it applies to BOTH genders.... If a man thinks he can find a hotter, more submissive female, he won't settle with what he has, EITHER.


The beta curve graph is very helpful and insightful.

 

[latinnova]

There will be some here who don't believe it or disagree. All that means, is that THEY haven't experienced it. (yet - but they will) Ask them again in 20 years, and you will get a MUCH different answer.

Further to that, another poster sent me this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjkgIJa8d3c

Just watching it now, so far it is very good.

That is so true. I remember a guy at work a long time ago, when I was newly married, telling me that he has already been through the whole marriage thing and that he was never doing it again. He wished me well, but told me that as the years go by it was going to get really tough, to the point where she will become unbearable no matter what you do. Here I was thinking "What a bitter old prick, too bad he picked the wrong girl.... blah blah blah" Well here I am 15 years later reflecting on his words and how true they were, because I have now lived in his shoes and experienced what he did, and it was all true.

 

[BeTheChange]

Wanted to bump this thread as I remember it being very inspirational at the time.

 

[ZTIME]

Wanted to bump this thread as I remember it being very inspirational at the time.

Thank you, and be blessed for the bump. It reminds me of the worst time I've had, mixed with the best help I've ever received. I learned to feel great about myself (through the help of SS), this is why I still post here.

 

[BeTheChange]

Thank you, and be blessed for the bump. It reminds me of the worst time I've had, mixed with the best help I've ever received. I learned to feel great about myself (through the help of SS), this is why I still post here.

Going through my own recent break up and reading these posts gives me confidence that I can get through this. Thanks for sharing your story brother.

 

[ZTIME]

Going through my own recent break up and reading these posts gives me confidence that I can get through this. Thanks for sharing your story brother.

No problem. I Reread some of it myself. Kind of makes me sick to my stomache when I see how far I'd fallen. The good news is that no matter how far you fall...there's always a way to climb back to the top. You just gotta want to.

I'm confident you'll get through your recent break up. It could be the best thing that's ever happens to you.

 

[ubercat]

@ZTIME do you still think the thread is correct. Ie. if you don't yield more control to a woman over time then the relationship is doomed? This would be bad news for Don juan's I just can't see us making that deal.

 

[ZTIME]

@ZTIME do you still think the thread is correct. Ie. if you don't yield more control to a woman over time then the relationship is doomed? This would be bad news for Don juan's I just can't see us making that deal.

I've come to realize that all relationships are doomed. How long they last is the only true unknown. How much you enjoyed the time is up to you.

Caring for yourself (mentally, physically, and financially) isn't what you owe to a relationship, it's what you owe to yourself. To let someone come before you is not doom for the relationship, it's simply doom for you.

I think I learned a lot in this thread from some truly good posters. I believe a lot of them put some effort into their responses to where I was at the time. For this I am truly blessed.

I feel that I've done well on rebounding from this. I date a lot of women, have svx on the regular, and have a high SMV. However, I'm making sure to take care of myself first. "Myself" is a commodity I'm not willing to trade on any level.

 

[ubercat]

Interesting the world just may have changed. Like most DJs I've had a lot more and wider variety of women than the average guy. And I'm certainly clued up about their nature. But I can't imagine myself dating at 60.

Do you want to settle down at some point? Or do you believe that constantly raising your smv means that you always have a ready supply of candidates at any age?

 

[ZTIME]

Interesting the world just may have changed. Like most DJs I've had a lot more and wider variety of women than the average guy. And I'm certainly clued up about their nature. But I can't imagine myself dating at 60.

Do you want to settle down at some point? Or do you believe that constantly raising your smv means that you always have a ready supply of candidates at any age?

At this point I really don't try to quantify women as "settling down". My LTR's have been 14yrs, 3yrs, and 3.5yrs. If one is around longer then another, Then I guess it means we were on the same path for that time period. I'm sure like most guys I hope that I'll find the one that wants to travel my path for an extended period of time, but givin today's quality of women, I have serious doubts.

And yes, at 60 I still feel that I'll be svxually active,with little regard or worry about my age. Unfortunately SMV as superficial as it is, still carries weight. Fortunately, I'm ok in this area.

 

[ZTIME]

My final close to this thread.

A while back I came here seeking help, or at least a place I could dump how I was feeling. It was the best help I could receive.

This weekend I was at a party with a few friends, and heard that the ex got married. I was surprised at first, but started to feel bad for her husband.

I remember this girl always asking me for a ring and threatening that she would leave if I didn't propose.......I wondered if she did the same to him.

I remember a chick that stole a bunch of stuff from me.......I wondered how much this endeavor will cost him.

I remember this girl trying to find me and tell me how horrible this guy is........I wonder who the next guy she'll latch on to.

I remember all of the bad things and see how happy life can be when you treat yourself as number 1.

It's hard at the beginning of a break up! But for anyone that ever stumbles across this thread.....there's an end and a feeling of freedom.

This freedom will come from within yourself as long as you work to get there. When you do.....You'll remember and be happy you're no longer involved!

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

ZTIME,

This has been a great thread. Thanks for sharing your story. So many of us can relate to it.

Ubercat,

With regard to 60, if you stay in shape, eat right and work out you can do it. I'll be 59 this year. I just recently decided to go exclusive with one woman, but Before that, I was spinning plates. I had 3 or 4 in rotation. The age range was from 35 to early 50s. The one I've gone exclusive with is 46. However, unlike other relationships, if it starts to deteriorate (decline in sex, any sign of disrespect, lack of appreciation), ill be gone.

-Augustus-

 

[BeTheChange]

That was actually a very accurate chart posted above, The Betaization Process.

The one thing that I notice is that when you stay alpha through out a ltr, the women will want to fvck your brains out till the very end of the relationship. The problem arises when they see that you are not transforming into a beta though, something deep within them tells them this is not right, and it literally about drives them psychotic. On one hand, they are still highly attracted to you and want to fvck every night, on the other their emotionally ingrained biological side is telling them that it is time to get out because this is not someone who she can settle with since full control is not established given a certain time frame. It literally is tearing them apart in their mind and they put the blame on you and eventually they leave, even though they will fvck your brains out on the final night before the call it quits because they are still sexually attracted to you. You can slow the curve a great deal, but I do believe graph is a perfect representation of how a relationship develops.

Bingo. Alpha till the end. I always scratched my head when guys discussed getting less sex as the relationship progressed when i was getting the same or more. Even at the end she wanted it more than me. Although when we split the ex did admit that some of the sex was because she was afraid I'd leave her for better prospects and it was the only way to keep me happy (since I was in a perpetual state of internal chaos there was never "good times" for long)