My game needs vast improvement. Just exited marriage, tip's,advice welcome

[Killakittie]

I'll update whats been going on with me. Since this is going to be a work in progress i don't feel the need to hide or sugar coat anything. So Tuesday the 23rd and Wes the 24th i had her over, had great sex and she cooked me dinner. I knew it was a bad idea but i did it anyway. The next day she agrees to bring me a coffee while i am fueling the school bus at the yard. I specifically told her what time i would be there and she agreed to show up, but when i got there she wasn't there, and instead she texts me asking if i am there yet. I got kinda upset and didn't respond because i told her what time i was showing up and i felt like she was playing games with me. I ignore all her texts and calls for about an hour until i explain that she ditched me and i was upset about it..Now at this point i am feeling compromised, not because what she did really was that bad, but because this is the type of **** she used to pull constantly during our marriage and it always made me feel like she didn't value me enough o keep her word. I mean when someone never keeps there word or does what they say they are for you it has the affect of making you feel worthless. So the sting of having that emotion brought back up hurt a bit.

Anyway i am thinking about her too much and am generally wasting my time and energy trying to convince her that if she really cared about me she wouldn't flake or blow our plans off...regardless of how small they are. Of course she doesn't understand this basic principal, and ironically my dumbass loves being treated like this.

Ok so the next couple days i hear absolutely nothing from her and i am doing ok. Then she creates another email address and writes me. I reply to something of the order of "This is too painful and unhealthy for me to continue communicating with you, i am going no contact and i am filing for divorcee as soon as i get my taxes."

Now ive said this before...ALOT ok i need to admit this. If for any reason then for MYSELF!! Yes my word basically doesn't mean **** and she knows it, because i am in love, and that's fair enough game for her to reel me back in. But if i really stop responding to her and i can get far enough detached i believe i can blunt any advance she can muster even sexual.

So i wrote that to her on Sat and she created a fake facebook, instagram, and email address and sent me a tirade of crazy messages. Before i could even think about it i blocked each one and didn't respond. Then later that night i got one last email from her saying she had been thinking all day and she knew i had went out the previous sat night "making myself avaliable" as she put it, and that this was the last time she was going to ask me if i seen a future with her and her kids in my life. I blocked and didn't respond.

I have not heard from her since. My dad who is watching my son told me she called him yesterday asking if i had filed for divorce yet, when he replied that he didn't know she asked if he could find out and call her back.

At this moment i am feeling better then i have in days. I am really behind in my math class and in general all my classes are suffering just because i am under a lot of stress but i have got to stay focused on where i am going and what my boundaries are.

When i get my taxes back i am going to file for divorce even though i really don't want to. Even after everything she has done to me i still don't want to lose her. She is such a leech and despite that i still miss her. My only option at this point is to realize my feelings and accept them for what they are. I just hope she doesn't contact me when i am having one of my weak moments.

 

[Glumix]

Cruelty and perfidy are sweet words in the ears of that woman.
Whether your choose to play the game or not, you are part of the game.

But you cannot game without a purpose. You create your own goals. She doesn't have to know them.

What is your purpose regarding that woman? And what do you think she is playing with you?

Then, enter the game with boldness.

 

[kingofthelions]

So i believe i have a codependent issue here. I'm 31 and have been in one relationship or another since high school and i'd say the majority of those were not very good relationships. I put up with a lot of **** i never should have because i didn't want to be alone. But i've always been the one to break up with them.
I have pretty high confidence and i am a decent looking guy. I recently exited my marriage because she was bpd and not attempting to get help. This was about a month ago. So i know what i need to do as far as bettering myself. I am going to the gym everyday and i am eating healthy. I am also trying to talk to girls and i have had good success so far.

But here is the problem. I catch myself checking my phone too much and investing too much emotion into these women sometimes. Not all the time but it does happen. A few times i caught myself getting upset when a girl flaked on me or when i wasn't getting enough attention. I know this sounds gay but please bear with me, i am used to having female attention, and so this is a big change for me. I want to remain single for at least a few years but what can i do to eliminate these issues?

Here's another example. Last night i went solo to a bar. Had good luck talking to women and felt comfortable approaching and talking to them. Wasn't really expecting much but i noticed as the night wore on i grew less interested or enthusiastic about talking to women. I even started feeling kinda depressed for a short time so i left.

I've been through some rough **** with my wife and with the last couple relationships i have had. Am i just pushing this all too soon? I am caring way too much here and i am trying to validate myself to women even though i don't want to. See i have never had an issue getting laid and i have had about 33 partners so far in my life but i have a problem here.

I am willing to answer any questions. I am a ****ty writer so please work with me here.

One thing that time helped me realize was that you have to first enjoy your own company and value that time that you spend with yourself doing what you enjoy! Readingand learning new things. Then any female that comes into play in your life if she chooses to leave or stay thats fine because i enjoy my personal time with self anyways...thats how i became nonchalant

 

[Killakittie]

Cruelty and perfidy are sweet words in the ears of that woman.
Whether your choose to play the game or not, you are part of the game.

But you cannot game without a purpose. You create your own goals. She doesn't have to know them.

What is your purpose regarding that woman? And what do you think she is playing with you?

Then, enter the game with boldness.

Well she's my wife. But she's also a liar, emotionally abusive, and extremely disrespectful. We are separated but I keep going back and responding to her attempts at communication. It's like I'm addicted.

 

[Killakittie]

One thing that time helped me realize was that you have to first enjoy your own company and value that time that you spend with yourself doing what you enjoy! Readingand learning new things. Then any female that comes into play in your life if she chooses to leave or stay thats fine because i enjoy my personal time with self anyways...thats how i became nonchalant

Exactly!! This is what I've been trying to maintain. It's been very hard but I'm fighting like hell.

Ok so another update. But first let's take a look back in our relationship. When we had been together for only a couple of months she had driven to the next town over and spent the day with this guy Scott that she had been dating before me. Well they ended up having sex and screwing around all day and she wasn't really forthcoming about the whole thing, but she did end up telling me the truth. Well from that day on the trust was severely broken and instead of walking away with my dignity I stayed in like the AFC I was. I tried to make it work.This was over two years ago. So fast forward to now. Me and her have been separated for about 2 months now, we don't live together anymore, and we only talk sparingly. Well this last Thursday I gave in and responded to one of her emails. One thing led to another and I ended up inviting her over to a Starbucks that I was at getting ready for my midterms. So she shows up and we end up leaving and going to a place where there wasn't any people where we were going to fool around in the backseat of my car. She kept asking me if I've been with anybody and I became suspicious and asked her if she had a guilty conscience. My face was just a couple inches from hers and I was starting her right in the eyes when I asked and she looked away, said that she didn't want to talk about it right now. Well after a few more minutes of trying to get her to tell me she finally did. Basically 4 days prior that guy Scott that she had cheated on me with when we were only together a couple of months had driven from the next town over and she had met him and his car and they had unprotected sex twice. The next day she shows up at my house but I'm at work. She's claiming that she needs to talk to me. Well a couple more days go by and last Wednesday the day before she came to Starbucks to meet me when she told me all this she left and went to his house in the next town over and spent all day with him but claimed that she didn't have sex with him. So after hearing this and not wanting to let her see how extremely devastated and upset I was I told her to put her clothes back on and then I drove her back to Starbucks and dropped her off. At this point she's hysterical texting me calling me on blocked numbers emailing me telling me that she's so sorry and that she wants this marriage and that she's going to go get my name tattooed on her right now. I tell her not to I told her no, there's no point, don't do that it's over, when I get my taxes in a week or so I'm going to file and you'll be served. Well about 2 hours later she sends me another email with a picture of my f****** name on her left breast! She went and got my f****** name tattooed on her! She asked me if I like it I responded what the fuc and she's like don't you like it I like it. We sent some emails back and forth and I gotta say I was completely surprised and it did kind of feel good that she did something so f****** crazy but it does not erase the simple fact that she had unprotected f****** sex with this guy. I mean it would have been bad enough if she had sex with a stranger but no she goes back and finds this guy on match.com and hooks up with him the same guy that practically ruined our relationship over 2 years ago. Huge slap to my face and to my ego. Let this thread be a reminder to my future self of how hopelessly in love and addicted I was to such a cruel, heartless, life sucking parasite of a human being. I still love her. I must say this because that's honestly how bad it is. I pray everyday that I'm released from these chains. In the end I know I will move forward I know I will succeed and I know I will be happy with somebody else.

My mid terms are ****ed though. I'm so distressed that concentration is practically impossible.

 

[Rapier77]

I've been a long term lurker. I was perusing this thread. You need to shut this situation down immediately. No more contact. Beef up your security at your place of residence. Change locks etc etc. File for divorce. Someone mentioned restraining order. Unprotected sex in todays age is akin to a death sentence. Things like HIV/AIDS and Herpes tend to ruin your day. You stated something to the effect that she won't let anyone else have you. That should be enough to give you a moment of pause. Enough is enough. Shut it down. Now!!

Check out pierce_r post(s) in this thread. Most inspiring. I was in the same place he was except I'm divorced not a widower. I'm doing exactly what he did.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/index.php?threads/never-really-thought-about-style-until-now.211526/

Good Luck.

Rapier

 

[Killakittie]

You are your own worst enemy. Until you realize that, and get tired of living a life of chaos and abuse, it will continue.

Only you have the power to change this.

I know and trust me I am very tired. Today there was no contact, it was a hard but good day. It should be noted that I've been deflecting her attempts at contact almost daily now going on for two months. I had a weak moment today where I picked up my phone and was going to unblock her to see how long it would take for her to call but I immediately dropped my phone on my desk and basically snapped out of it. Wroth me working 12-14 hour days, attending school full time, and caring for my 3 year old son I haven't had the slightest chance to process what's been going on. The slightest thought of her letting that guy raw dog her brings me to tears. I can't be like that. Tonight I was browsing match.com and there she was, just created a profile and was online. I deleted all my pics, blocked her, and deactivated my account. That hurt, empathy is not aquality she possesses unless it suits her agenda. Here's to tomorrow and the unknown.

 

[Glumix]

The slightest thought of her letting that guy raw dog her brings me to tears.

The fact that she get raw dogged by that guy does NOT change what she did and was for you.
That doesn't change the fact that you do not want her anymore.
She has lost you, not because she lefts, but because you do not want her anymore.
You do not lose any value because she's got another man.

Fix yourself. You are most probably co-dependent or have NPD.
Those are narcissistic issues and they cause you all your problems.

At this point of life you should try to get your worth back in your head. And as I can see you have great value. You take care of your kid, your work a lot. Get your worth from those.

Go monk for a few months until you feel good being alone.
Be aware of not getting your validation from external sources like from the eyes of others.

That's what I currently do and after 1 month I can laugh my 4ss off at all the sh!t my ex threw at me. Sometime I have downs but most of the time I am enjoying myself a lot.

 

[kingofthelions]

Exactly!! This is what I've been trying to maintain. It's been very hard but I'm fighting like hell.

Ok so another update. But first let's take a look back in our relationship. When we had been together for only a couple of months she had driven to the next town over and spent the day with this guy Scott that she had been dating before me. Well they ended up having sex and screwing around all day and she wasn't really forthcoming about the whole thing, but she did end up telling me the truth. Well from that day on the trust was severely broken and instead of walking away with my dignity I stayed in like the AFC I was. I tried to make it work.This was over two years ago. So fast forward to now. Me and her have been separated for about 2 months now, we don't live together anymore, and we only talk sparingly. Well this last Thursday I gave in and responded to one of her emails. One thing led to another and I ended up inviting her over to a Starbucks that I was at getting ready for my midterms. So she shows up and we end up leaving and going to a place where there wasn't any people where we were going to fool around in the backseat of my car. She kept asking me if I've been with anybody and I became suspicious and asked her if she had a guilty conscience. My face was just a couple inches from hers and I was starting her right in the eyes when I asked and she looked away, said that she didn't want to talk about it right now. Well after a few more minutes of trying to get her to tell me she finally did. Basically 4 days prior that guy Scott that she had cheated on me with when we were only together a couple of months had driven from the next town over and she had met him and his car and they had unprotected sex twice. The next day she shows up at my house but I'm at work. She's claiming that she needs to talk to me. Well a couple more days go by and last Wednesday the day before she came to Starbucks to meet me when she told me all this she left and went to his house in the next town over and spent all day with him but claimed that she didn't have sex with him. So after hearing this and not wanting to let her see how extremely devastated and upset I was I told her to put her clothes back on and then I drove her back to Starbucks and dropped her off. At this point she's hysterical texting me calling me on blocked numbers emailing me telling me that she's so sorry and that she wants this marriage and that she's going to go get my name tattooed on her right now. I tell her not to I told her no, there's no point, don't do that it's over, when I get my taxes in a week or so I'm going to file and you'll be served. Well about 2 hours later she sends me another email with a picture of my f****** name on her left breast! She went and got my f****** name tattooed on her! She asked me if I like it I responded what the fuc and she's like don't you like it I like it. We sent some emails back and forth and I gotta say I was completely surprised and it did kind of feel good that she did something so f****** crazy but it does not erase the simple fact that she had unprotected f****** sex with this guy. I mean it would have been bad enough if she had sex with a stranger but no she goes back and finds this guy on match.com and hooks up with him the same guy that practically ruined our relationship over 2 years ago. Huge slap to my face and to my ego. Let this thread be a reminder to my future self of how hopelessly in love and addicted I was to such a cruel, heartless, life sucking parasite of a human being. I still love her. I must say this because that's honestly how bad it is. I pray everyday that I'm released from these chains. In the end I know I will move forward I know I will succeed and I know I will be happy with somebody else.

My mid terms are ****ed though. I'm so distressed that concentration is practically impossible.

Exactly!! This is what I've been trying to maintain. It's been very hard but I'm fighting like hell.

Ok so another update. But first let's take a look back in our relationship. When we had been together for only a couple of months she had driven to the next town over and spent the day with this guy Scott that she had been dating before me. Well they ended up having sex and screwing around all day and she wasn't really forthcoming about the whole thing, but she did end up telling me the truth. Well from that day on the trust was severely broken and instead of walking away with my dignity I stayed in like the AFC I was. I tried to make it work.This was over two years ago. So fast forward to now. Me and her have been separated for about 2 months now, we don't live together anymore, and we only talk sparingly. Well this last Thursday I gave in and responded to one of her emails. One thing led to another and I ended up inviting her over to a Starbucks that I was at getting ready for my midterms. So she shows up and we end up leaving and going to a place where there wasn't any people where we were going to fool around in the backseat of my car. She kept asking me if I've been with anybody and I became suspicious and asked her if she had a guilty conscience. My face was just a couple inches from hers and I was starting her right in the eyes when I asked and she looked away, said that she didn't want to talk about it right now. Well after a few more minutes of trying to get her to tell me she finally did. Basically 4 days prior that guy Scott that she had cheated on me with when we were only together a couple of months had driven from the next town over and she had met him and his car and they had unprotected sex twice. The next day she shows up at my house but I'm at work. She's claiming that she needs to talk to me. Well a couple more days go by and last Wednesday the day before she came to Starbucks to meet me when she told me all this she left and went to his house in the next town over and spent all day with him but claimed that she didn't have sex with him. So after hearing this and not wanting to let her see how extremely devastated and upset I was I told her to put her clothes back on and then I drove her back to Starbucks and dropped her off. At this point she's hysterical texting me calling me on blocked numbers emailing me telling me that she's so sorry and that she wants this marriage and that she's going to go get my name tattooed on her right now. I tell her not to I told her no, there's no point, don't do that it's over, when I get my taxes in a week or so I'm going to file and you'll be served. Well about 2 hours later she sends me another email with a picture of my f****** name on her left breast! She went and got my f****** name tattooed on her! She asked me if I like it I responded what the fuc and she's like don't you like it I like it. We sent some emails back and forth and I gotta say I was completely surprised and it did kind of feel good that she did something so f****** crazy but it does not erase the simple fact that she had unprotected f****** sex with this guy. I mean it would have been bad enough if she had sex with a stranger but no she goes back and finds this guy on match.com and hooks up with him the same guy that practically ruined our relationship over 2 years ago. Huge slap to my face and to my ego. Let this thread be a reminder to my future self of how hopelessly in love and addicted I was to such a cruel, heartless, life sucking parasite of a human being. I still love her. I must say this because that's honestly how bad it is. I pray everyday that I'm released from these chains. In the end I know I will move forward I know I will succeed and I know I will be happy with somebody else.

My mid terms are ****ed though. I'm so distressed that concentration is practically impossible.

Yea you gotta go no contact with this one and really do it! Itll take time but you gotta get yourself together emotionally before you can deal with this type of chick or any chick. But when you do get it together get this ***** tipsy f**k her like the s**t she is then bust in her mouth and face then dont ever contact her again, Cause she has put you threw some ****. Like tupac said "revenge is like the sweetest joy next to getting p***y"

 

[Killakittie]

I want to personally thank each person who has taken the time to read my thread and respond I have read each of your responses and have reflected on them and it has helped me.

Yesterday there was no contact from her and today is yet to be seen. Even though the thoughts of that guy raw dogging her have completely wreaked havoc on my emotions i have decided to take control of my life back. I hurt, I hurt real ****ing bad, and that's ok. I have my midterm for my math class today and i am not prepared at all as i havent been able to study with all this **** going on. I'm prob going to fail the midterm to be honest and that is going to hurt my current 3.7 gpa but given the circumstances i can accept that. Next semester i can retake this class and if i get an A i can have that substituted on my transcript.

It's extremely probable that my wife is going to show up again soon and that's when the true test will be. I am an ******* and i will not let this ***** take my ****ing soul!

 

[LiveYourDream]

It might help you to stop referring to her as your wife and instead call her your "soon-to-be ex-wife" or some other descriptive that is congruent with your thoughts, your feelings, and the actions you intend to take (divorce.) Continuing to call her your wife, reinforces and perpetuates feeling the hurt over and over and over again. Referring to her as your "soon-to-be ex-wife" moves you more from victim, closer to feeling (and being and acting) like a man who has actually taken a stand for himself and one who has actually taken his power back.

 

[Killakittie]

Well today after work I went to starbucks to do some homework and sure enough I get an email from her saying "I need to give you something" I don't respond and do my work. Well the gym I attend is in the same parking lot as the Starbucks so once I finished up my work I walked out to my car to grab my gym bag. I had the sunroof open on my car and I noticed someone had dropped a folded piece of paper through it onto my drivers seat. I took a look and it was a 4 page letter she had wrote me. I briefly skimmed through the first half of the first page and then skipped to the last page. Basically her going on about she made severe mistakes in our marriage and how I was an amazing husband and father figure to her kids, and how she's not going to be like that with the "next one". Now after briefly scanning through the first and last page I rolled it all up into a ball and threw it to the ground next to my car. I then grabbed my gym bag and went into the gym. When I came out she was parked in the parking lot of the gym in her jeep. I just confidently walked by her completely indifferent and with high confidence, got into my car, and drove away. At the light down the street as I was waiting to make a left she drove by going straight.

It felt good. Her hamster is spinning that wheel so fast, I really feel sorry for her, and I'm glad I was able to handle the situation the way I did. She probably seen me roll her letter into a ball and throw it to the ground. Lol

 

[sodbuster]

You've got a long way to go. You are hoping you've made a dent or hurt her.Love and hate are 2 sides of the same coin..... I don't give a F@ck. I'll give you my ex-wife's number. IF I like you, I will feel sorry for you.....

 

[Kailex]

Man, you need to get away for at least a week or even a weekend, or something.

Go hit up a brewery at a new town, or just a new town in general. Go run a 5K in another state.

ANYTHING.

But the last thing you should be doing is thinking about women right now, especially if you are recognizing being a co-dependent. Learn to live for yourself and to be happy with that before trying to include any women in your life for a long-term venture.

 

[SuckItUp]

Killakiitie,

I've been there where you are and she will continue to "Hoover" because you are allowing her.

You need to get into your mindset that she is a dangerous drug like heroin and if you don't get off the roller coaster the costs are devastating.


You are suffering from PTSD and I'd recommend seeing a therapist. Understand that there are certain aspects that you are responsible for that need to be addressed.

The main issue is figuring out why you put up with her crap behavior.

If you don't get counseling you are extremely likely to trapped or even worse get into another relationship with a personality disordered woman.

Take the simple step of trying to stop analyzing what she is doing. It will keep you from re enmeshing in her drama.

It's going to hurt like hell and it takes a lot of time but it's worth it.

You'll have set backs but eventually you'll get to a point where you will be ambivalent.

 

[Killakittie]

I've reached a milestone and I owe alot of it to your guys help. I've let go. I've been doing alot of internalizing and I've forgave her for everything she's done and I've let it go. Now I no longer carry the weight, the burden, or the grief of what she did. I still don't talk to her and she still tries to initiate contact from time to time but it's less frequent now and I don't struggle with ignoring her anymore.

I've found happiness and peace within myself.

I'm not attempting to spin plates because I'm giving myself much needed attention but once I feel the time is right I'll start. I did spin up 3 pretty regular girls about three weeks ago but I quickly realized it wasn't doing me any good but I figured it was worth the try.

I've officially failed math but I'm doing ok in history and I'm very excited and motivated for summer school and the following semesters. I can now focus all my energy on work, school, gym, and most importantly my son. I'll retake my math and ace it so I'm not beating myself up about it I'm chalking it up to stress and everything I've been going through.

It's not over yet but I'm through the worst of it and I feel amazing. I haven't filed yet but it's honestly due to limited funds at this exact moment. But it will be at the top of the to do list. I'm hoping I can get it done at the end of this month.

 

[Killakittie]

Well I've started going to therapy and I'm about 4 sessions in. I'm going once a week. Me and my therapist are working on why I had such little respect for myself that I tolerated all the abuse.

A couple of things I didn't mention before but my soon to be ex wife was also physically violent with me on three separate occasions over the span of two months. We would be talking or having a disagreement when she would suddenly blow up, punch me in the face a few times, and then go right back to being calm and quiet. The last time she hit me I called the cops and had her arrested and then I made her move out shortly after.

I've also stopped trying to block every attempt she makes at contacting me because I've noticed it takes alot of my energy away from more important things. She still tries contacting me once or twice a week and as far as she's concerned I want nothing to do with her. It's still hard but not having this huge abusive weight in my life is very nice.

I've noticed since my attitude has been more positive I've got alot more women coming up to me and engaging me in petty conversation in the real world. It's nice and I get pleasure out of just talking. I don't ask for any numbers or attempt to date though because I'm still a long way off working on myself but it feels good to connect with strangers sometimes.

I'm still working on loving myself and drawing validation internally instead of externally. I've planted a small garden and I'm spending way more time with my boy. I'm feeling pretty good about these things. And my therapist is helping steer me straight.

 

[grayclif]

I can't read your rants any longer they long and the more I read the more each one sounds the same. You keep falling back in her trap. It's weak.

You need to leave town. For a year or so. Till you can get your head straight and get some new better women in your life. There is no way you can properly raise your son in this environment. Drop everything and explain to your dad that you have to. Leave your son with his mom and your dad and just go. You done fvcked up by letting this women control your every waking thought. It's unhealthy. Formulate a plan and then go. Build a life elsewhere by becoming independent and one day return for your son.

It just sounds stupid to hear you say I'm getting divorced when I get my taxes. Please don't say that again.

 

[sodbuster]

A female who punches me in the face, is not a woman. I don't hit women, but I'm not a punching bag for a female.... I'll leave the rest to your imagination.

 

[Killakittie]

I can't read your rants any longer they long and the more I read the more each one sounds the same. You keep falling back in her trap. It's weak.

You need to leave town. For a year or so. Till you can get your head straight and get some new better women in your life. There is no way you can properly raise your son in this environment. Drop everything and explain to your dad that you have to. Leave your son with his mom and your dad and just go. You done fvcked up by letting this women control your every waking thought. It's unhealthy. Formulate a plan and then go. Build a life elsewhere by becoming independent and one day return for your son.

It just sounds stupid to hear you say I'm getting divorced when I get my taxes. Please don't say that again.

Been meaning to respond to this but work has been crazy busy this last week. When i first started this thread i was in the middle of a lot of pain and anguish but it's important to recognize that i moved her out Jan 23rd because i was done with her disrespectful bullsh!t Since then she has been trying very hard to get me back and i have not been nice to her at all. Basically every time she contacted me i would tell her to f-off and move on, this didn't stop her though.

As i read more about maintaining frame, mental point of origin, and having self respect things made much more sense to me. From the beginning of our relationship i was aware of the red flags but i had a bad case of oneitis so i ignored them.

I didn't even know what oneitis was...my earlier relationships i never had a problem like this before and i never allowed one girl to disrespect me so much for so long as my wife did. I really need your guys help though, because i am still figuring all this out, and even though i am prepared to walk away and divorce if there is any way to save this i need to know i have exhausted all avenues of attack before doing so.

I fully understand it is my fault for allowing this situation to manifest to the point where i was literally miserable, depressed, and anxious. I seen the signs, i had the life experiences before that to tell me this was a bad idea, and knowing this i put myself in a position where i was disrespected and taken advantage of. Now she's been out of my house since January and she has been going to therapy for two months " I even attended one session with her" and she has become immersed in studying the bible. Even though i see these changes it's not enough for me to jump back on board. This is where you guys can help me.

I need some insight..what's the probability that she can turn around and have respect for me? I fully understand i have to lead and respect myself before she will, and i am working on that right now, regardless if we stay together or not. I know she has to follow and i also know i can only do my part and she either will or will not. But she seems genuinely interested in making the marriage work. She admits to disrespecting me and not taking our relationship serious at all up until a couple months ago. She wants me to attend church with her and study the bible with her and allow god to work through us to help heal our marriage.

She does still struggle at times with interrupting me while i am talking, interjecting, and making assumptions about my point before i have finished my sentence and she has admitted she does this and is trying to break the habit.

I need all advice and insight you guys have to offer good or bad. I am eager to answer any questions you might have to paint a better picture of our relationship.