Do you think you are mature enough? Is there truth in their concerns? What do you want?
It's a bit late to apply to other Universities for fall, isn't it? Did you get accepted at the University you applied to? Is that the University close to home or the one you'd move away to? How far from your home is it? How much more expensive is it per year than staying home and commuting? Are your parents footing the entire bill for you for college or are you expected to pay after a certain limit or what is your understanding?
I know I am mature enough. I refuse to let myself fail in college. The reason why they might think that I would lose myself is because my older sister did bad her first semester this year (I don't know how she did second semester because she transferred to a community college). Also, she got pretty crappy grades throughout high school and would go hang out with her friends without telling my parents and when she did tell my parents, she would stay out way longer than she was supposed to (I know for certain that she didn't actually do anything bad, but it was still the lack of responsibility on her part). They are afraid I will become like her despite proving otherwise time and time again. I am not going to lie and say that i won't go out and have fun given the opportunity, but the thing is, I have a very strong self-image that I am trying achieve/uphold. And it cannot be done by still living with my parents, I need to be independent.
I already am committed to the university I applied to. It isn't very far away or anything but it is still an inconvenience. I would have to commute about an hour and a half every time I take the train
For whatever reason they can't or won't pay.... remember your parents don't owe you a college education.... You can always work a part time job and go to a community college to get all the basic requirements cheap before transferring to a better school... Maybe then your parents will see that you're serious and can pitch in.
I suggested this to my father in 6th grade, he told me only losers go to community colleges haha. As money got tighter and as he asked around, he did change his opinion. The only problem is that I cannot see myself not doing a college sport. I will probably be a walk-on in the fall to be honest, but I still can't just work, go home and eat and sleep. Also, I am looking for a job currently. I don't want to be a cashier or work at a fastfood restaurant though, so other job suggestions would be helpful.
I'm not saying that my parents owe me a college education, but they did choose to have me after all. They should take the responsibilities associated with having kids. That's why the excuse of "I changed your diapers and fed you when you couldn't even care for yourself" shouldn't be used to enslave their kids. It was THEIR choice to have me, not mine. I'm just taking advantage of the opportunity now that I am here.
The short answer is that your parents likely partied and got bad grades in college. They are afraid you'll do the same thing. An honest, transparent conversation would be good here, but not everyone can come clean with their kids.
Why else would they say this? Perhaps control, perhaps concerns about your behavior as they observe it, any number of reasons.
You are an adult now so this seems more about them than you. It seems money is the excuse to exert control over your life. You don't have to accept this, but if you go your own way it is not a cushy path relative to doing things their way.
What do you want to do?
They are betting that they can tell you what to do because they have money and you don't, and they are betting you want them to pay your way more than you are willing to do your own thing no matter what. I would guess they claim you on their tax return as a dependent, etc. as well and plan to continue doing so.
How strongly do you desire your freedom? Enough to do whatever it takes regardless if that means 0 access to their money? Even if it means "Welcome to Burger King, may I take your order?"
You could always move out & work & put yourself through school, but this is a hard road. However it is a road that will grow you up fast & teach you the value both of a dollar AND an education.
You could also suck it up and go where they say & hold your nose & follow their rules. You get access to their money that way (it's theirs -they do not have to educate you).
One way to go is to commute for 2 years or do a local community college. Get all your basics out of the way, and get good grades. Then you can transfer to a 4 year university somewhere away and take the upper class courses for your degree. When you get your degree it comes from the 4 year school, for the cost of 2 years there. Will they do that?
Or tell them you are going to work in the oil field. You understand it's dangerous, but lucrative, and you don't need college. Or join the armed forces. Call their bluff. I bet you get serious about either the oilfield or the army & they may reconsider their position about sending you off to school.
I will tell you I have a close friend whose son is in the oil patch as is her stepson. Both are making good money and saving for higher education. One of my sister's step sons went to the Marine corps. All these young men have had to become "men" along the way. Neither the military nor the oil patch is for delicate flowers.
My father never went to college (he couldn't, look what's going on in Syria right now), and my mom never wants to talk about college EVER. She says she doesn't remember it either, but that probably is because she did party. Not like drinking all the time and sleeping with every guy she sees but enough to make her grades go down (she was still a virgin until she met my dad according to her, and my dad's frustrations hahaha).
I think I will just try making as much money as I can over the summer and look for an apartment in the city near the university and try to pay for it myself, though that may not happen this year. I still need to buy a car first.
