I understand ever post here, but I feel like I'm more in line with the introvert that ambitious player talked about. I was in a fraternity and I saw that the super frat stars had it way easier in life than me and I noticed it. What do I do to keep from losing my mind?
I know exactly what you're going through, this **** used to depress the hell out of me years ago. Just looking around and seeing how some of these dudes apparently have it all mainly because they had it easier growing up. The truth is man, life is a ***** and it is unfair and unequal as it gets. The frat stars had great parents, ideal circumstances growing up, good grades, good friends, and of course, the girls and parties. Many of these guys had kickass lives before they even entered college. All that being said, there is definitely a fix for your situation.
The fact that you found the time to think a lot about this tells me that you probably have some time on your hands and you're in your 20s so not all is lost. Here is what I would recommend for you:
1. Fix your lifestyle, seriously. Eating garbage foods and having unhealthy sleeping habits (not getting much sleep at night and sleeping in during the day) will make you feel ****ty and screw with your emotions. I recommend working out 5 days a week and getting some form of physical exercise during those days.
2. Read good books, you have the time and now is the time to read them. I know this advice sounds cheesy but believe me, it works. You will found out so much about yourself, your life, what you've been doing wrong, and how to approach situations through them. Don't read literature, read good self-help books that have advice you can apply in real life. I am sure you can find a good list if you ask the guys here and on other communities like it but Models by Mark Manson was a good read for me as well. Read books that have actually helped guys has done wonders for me.
3. Pick up a good hobby or a nice side gig that will help you meet people. I think some guys here can post more about this but I think this varies so much based on the person. Most of this will be trial and error but you want something that has a good mix of guys, girls, and is engaging. A friend of mines did acting classes while working full time and he met his girlfriend that way, she is a strong 8.
4. Remember that social media = highlight reel. If you really know a lot of those frat stars, you knew that they had their problems too. It can be easy to feel depressed as you see a group of people smiling at a party in that bright colored photo while you are sitting home alone all depressed, not being involved. Once you do end up in those situations, you realize it wasn't all you made them out to be in your head, a lot if it was just hype and plenty of it is fake. So many of these people gossip about each other and drop each other like flies in a heartbeat. Fraternities and sororities with a strong sense of camaraderie are not as common as you think. Very few guys in a fraternity were "frat stars", most were screwing the same girl.
5. If it is of any comfort, there is some truth to the peaking early part. A lot of the frat stars I knew from back in college either married early or hit the real world and found that without their tight social circle, it took a lot of adjustments to get good. Tons of these guys get entitled and can't handle the competition in the real world because their status which they had in college has now died down. Some adjust and still kick ass but most others, they either get married or burn out.
Once you've put in all the work, are busy as it gets, have your group of friends thanks to the hobbies/side gigs, and some girl(s) in your life, you won't think too much about this. Life is what you want it to be and though I used to hate the hell out of mines through most of my college years, I ****ing love it right now.
