Idolizing

[zekko]

I was watching this video, and it was talking about how women like to feel special, but not feel idolized.

This got me thinking, since this is an often discussed subject here. What is it about guys that would make them want to idolize a woman? Is it just a result of the feminized society emasculating men? Or is it natural for a male (maybe a beta male especially) to be mesmerized by a woman's beauty? Maybe a little bit of both?

I also think that, since men and women tend to be opposites, it is also true that men actually want to be idolized by women. They want to be pedestalized, looked up to. To women, a guy doing that to them is a turnoff. But to men, a woman doing that to them is a turn on. Agree or disagree?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I was watching this video, and it was talking about how women like to feel special, but not feel idolized.

This got me thinking, since this is an often discussed subject here. What is it about guys that would make them want to idolize a woman? Is it just a result of the feminized society emasculating men? Or is it natural for a male (maybe a beta male especially) to be mesmerized by a woman's beauty? Maybe a little bit of both?

I also think that, since men and women tend to be opposites, it is also true that men actually want to be idolized by women. They want to be pedestalized, looked up to. To women, a guy doing that to them is a turnoff. But to men, a woman doing that to them is a turn on. Agree or disagree?

I've heard it verbalized... IE: "I don't want to feel like the center of your life". Also they will have friends who will never have a shot give them plenty of complements. You should compliment her occasionally as well but don't over do it.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

If you idolize a girl the subtext is you don't have much going on besides her. Instant turnoff. Unless she's a psychopath who's milking your wallet.

Generally speaking, you want to compliment a girl in a way that shows you see her in a way nobody else does. Something she did or chose, rather than her genetics. The more "in depth" your observation, the better.

AND if it happens to coincide with something she actually is proud of about herself, MAD bonus points.

 

[zekko]

of course it feels better to be the idolized one. As a man I think it speaks more about your accomplishments, because beauty is not an accomplishment.

Just to pursue this a little further, guys here often talk about how women use makeup to fool us, that their beauty is only an illusion created by makeup. I don't really agree with that - it is true sometimes, but there are many women who have natural beauty, and don't need the makeup. But if you do believe that women's beauty comes from makeup, then it would be an accomplishment of sorts. Because they have to learn how to apply it, and what kind of enhancement works for their shape face, eyes, etc.

I wasn't trying to make the thread about complimenting, even though I know the video is about that. Women are so effed in the head about this sh!t, IMO. Like in the video she says women don't like compliments on their hair because it's too vague, and their hair is inherited from their parents. First off, that's BS, because I've heard women take compliments on their hair with great appreciation. Also, women put a lot of care into their hair - dying, conditioning, combing, styling. I can't believe they don't want to be appreciated for it.

And women want to know that they have beautiful breasts (many are insecure about them), but on the other hand you have to be careful about complimenting them on that, because they might think you just want them for their boobs on some crude level. Women are screwy.

 

[LiveYourDream]

I also think that, since men and women tend to be opposites, it is also true that men actually want to be idolized by women. They want to be pedestalized, looked up to. To women, a guy doing that to them is a turnoff. But to men, a woman doing that to them is a turn on. Agree or disagree?

I love to be with a man that I look up to with all my heart. Doing so amplifies my loving for him, my affection, my sense of femininity, my sense of service to him, my desire to please him, and it amplifies my attraction and sexual desire for him as well.

Is this an experience that truly turns a man on and amplifies his masculine or am I projecting? Is it attractive to men as a whole? Is a more of a turn-on/turn-off depending on the man's own internal sense of empowerment, confidence, strength, certainty, or lack there of?

I imagine men like it and find that attractive in their women. I could be wrong? I could be way off. Perhaps at a certain point it crosses a threshold and loses it's attractiveness? Do men lose the benefit of the perpetual hunt, and the satisfaction of winning their desired prey, if the prey is always, a;already theirs and always looking up to them? Is there a balance needed with that to keep a man truly and happily satisfied? What could a woman do, and not do, keep that balance? I would love to understand.

 

[zekko]

I imagine men like that and find that attractive in their women. I could be wrong? Perhaps at a certain point it crosses a threshold and loses it's attractiveness? Do men lose the benefit of the perpetual hunt, and the satisfaction of winning their desired prey, if the prey is always, a;already theirs and always looking up to them?

I definitely think men liked to be looked up to. There are men who will lose interest if the prey is always, always theirs. But I suspect these are men who are likely going to cheat anyway. So in that case, there's not a lot a woman can do to prevent their eyes from wandering anyway. Some people just cannot be faithful.

 

[LiveYourDream]

I definitely think men liked to be looked up to. There are men who will lose interest if the prey is always, always theirs. But I suspect these are men who are likely going to cheat anyway. So in that case, there's not a lot a woman can do to prevent their eyes from wandering anyway. Some people just cannot be faithful.

Are there things a woman could do, without putting her loyalty or the relationship into question and with no true mind games, beyond flirting, to reinvent a new experience so her man can enjoy a new chase and then catch her, again? Is there a way she can please him deeply or satisfy his intrinsic nature, by becoming prey again, allowing him to chase and being caught again? Can he enjoy her, as if she is a fresh and new conquest?

Is any of this even desirable, possible or advisable? And if so, can it be done repeatedly through the course of the relationship? Or maybe it is not about what she is doing but more about who she is being, in order for him to experience this? Thoughts? Suggestions? More help and/or suggestions please.

 

[ChrisFloyd]

Are there things a woman could do, without putting her loyalty or the relationship into question and with no true mind games, beyond flirting, to reinvent a new experience so her man can enjoy a new chase and then catch her, again? Is there a way she can please him deeply or satisfy his intrinsic nature, by becoming prey again, allowing him to chase and being caught again? Can he enjoy her, as if she is a fresh and new conquest?

Is any of this even desirable, possible or advisable? And if so, can it be done repeatedly through the course of the relationship? Or maybe it is not about what she is doing but more about who she is being, in order for him to experience this? Thoughts? Suggestions? More help and/or suggestions please.

Relax.

 

[zekko]

Are there things a woman could do, without putting her loyalty or the relationship into question and with no true mind games, beyond flirting, to reinvent a new experience so her man can enjoy a new chase and then catch her, again? Is there a way she can please him deeply or satisfy his intrinsic nature, by becoming prey again, allowing him to chase and being caught again? Can he enjoy her, as if she is a fresh and new conquest?

Is any of this even desirable, possible or advisable? And if so, can it be done repeatedly through the course of the relationship? Or maybe it is not about what she is doing but more about who she is being, in order for him to experience this? Thoughts? Suggestions? More help and/or suggestions please.

Personally, I don't think so. A relationship has natural phases. It either works or it doesn't.
Trying to reset to zero sounds like playing games, and that isn't really healthy.
Others might have a different opinion, but that's my view.

 

[Desdinova]

I love to be with a man that I look up to with all my heart. Doing so amplifies my loving for him, my affection, my sense of femininity, my sense of service to him, my desire to please him, and it amplifies my attraction and sexual desire for him as well.

And that's the way it should be, not the other way around. Women don't want the responsibility of being idolized by a man they are/were interested in. Women have a hard enough time choosing something from a menu at a restaurant, so why would she want to be responsible in a driver's seat that's meant for a God?

Men like to be looked up to (as long as they're actually "men"), and women like looking up to their men.

 

[LiveYourDream]

And that's the way it should be, not the other way around. Women don't want the responsibility of being idolized by a man they are/were interested in. Women have a hard enough time choosing something from a menu at a restaurant, so why would she want to be responsible in a driver's seat that's meant for a God?

Men like to be looked up to (as long as they're actually "men"), and women like looking up to their men.

I love to be with a man that I look up to with all my heart. Doing so amplifies my loving for him, my affection, my sense of femininity, my sense of service to him, my desire to please him, and it amplifies my attraction and sexual desire for him as well.

I love how it feels to love a man this ^^^ way. What man would not want to feel and be loved like a king? The idea sounds great to me, but from what I have learned, it seems such predictability of love and admiration, may become boring to a man, in time? I would love for this to be wrong. Truth is what I am after. I understand that men like variety. They like to hunt. They like to experience conquest. They like to enjoy their conquest. Then at some point there is the drive for the next one. Am I not correct here?

If that is indeed true, then won't a man lose attraction faster, if he's consistently pedestalized by a woman and he feels no on going or recurrent drive to chase her, at least somewhat (to satisfy his need for a hunt)? I am not a fan of this idea I am simply looking to understand, without judgement, what is most deeply true for men. Help with this please.

 

[Desdinova]

The idea sounds great to me, but from what I have learned, it seems such predictability of love and admiration, may become boring to a man, in time?

I think it would become boring to a man who has nothing else going on in his life. For the man who's busy fixing cars, climbing mountains, or even pursuing wealth, he's got other things to keep him preoccupied other than women. Having a woman admire and follow you while conquering other things is like having company while you're taking over the world.

For a man who places women at the top of his list of things to conquer, he will get bored of having only one woman who idolizes him.

 

[LiveYourDream]

I think it would become boring to a man who has nothing else going on in his life. For the man who's busy fixing cars, climbing mountains, or even pursuing wealth, he's got other things to keep him preoccupied other than women. Having a woman admire and follow you while conquering other things is like having company while you're taking over the world.

For a man who places women at the top of his list of things to conquer, he will get bored of having only one woman who idolizes him.

That is a great distinction I had not considered. Thank you! It's really helpful and reassuring.

For the man that is busy with his life and mission beyond women, is consistency of love and affection the greatest gift a woman can give him? Does he still feel the need 'to hunt' on occasion, but chooses to bypass it? Are there things a woman can do, to "mix it up" for him, that would please him and satisfy him in addition to her unwavering love and affection? Any specific suggestions you could offer would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Desdinova]

For the man that is busy with his life beyond women, is consistency of love and affection the greatest gift a woman can give him?

I think so.

Are there things she can do to "mix it up" for him, that would please him and satisfy him in addition to that?

I don't think I can answer that. I've never had an ongoing "consistency of love" to know if I got bored of it.

 

[LiveYourDream]

I think so.

x1,000!

I don't think I can answer that. I've never had an ongoing "consistency of love" to know if I got bored of it.

I am hoping your latest GF rocks your world and changes that for you!

I hadn't even considered that the "consistency of love" itself might get boring. I was assuming it was the absence of a chase or feeling a lack of variety, that can feel challenging to a man, even in the presence of the "consistency of love."

It seems to me, that being involved in a chase/hunt, and experiencing variety, would make a man feel more alive and vibrant. Maybe that feeling of vibrancy and aliveness is what a man is most deeply seeking sometimes? Or am I generalizing too much and the drives really are about having new pvssy, to put it bluntly?

 

[Glumix]

I hadn't even considered that the "consistency of love" itself might get boring. I was assuming it was the absence of a chase or feeling a lack of variety, that can feel challenging to a man, even in the presence of the "consistency of love."

It seems to me, that being involved in a chase/hunt, and experiencing variety, would make a man feel more alive and vibrant. Maybe that feeling of vibrancy and aliveness is what a man is most deeply seeking sometimes? Or am I generalizing too much and the drives really are about having new pvssy, to put it bluntly?

You won't find one answer for every man on earth, I am afraid.

Currently, I am not attracted anymore to pretty much every woman I know or I see. Even though I have 2 plates, I have no plan to have a relationship with either of them. And still, I do not care about chasing/hunting/experiencing variety. So what am I looking for? Myself perhaps?

Vibrancy and aliveness, yeah sure, but what makes him/her vibrate?

Things vibrate in harmony, but they are of different tonality, but they complement each others beautifuly. We are looking for what the other needs and you pretty much have no chance to know that, because even him/her has no idea what he/she needs deep inside.

When I paint the "perfect woman" a man would like, she is the opposite of the 2 or 3 last GF I had. What made me vibrate with those girls was NOT what I consciously wanted but what I unconsciously needed.

What make you initialy attracted is what you unconsciously need but what will keep you attracted is parallel evolution. You become a truer woman and he becomes a truer man.

So who is he? In what stage of life is he? Is he older, younger? What did he experience in his life? What pieces are missing?

I think the best answer to all those questions is: be self-conscious, self-responsible, smile and do whatever YOU want, nature will teach you anyway... but listen to her.

 

[ChrisFloyd]

You won't find one answer for every man on earth, I am afraid.

Currently, I am not attracted anymore to pretty much every woman I know or I see. Even though I have 2 plates, I have no plan to have a relationship with either of them. And still, I do not care about chasing/hunting/experiencing variety. So what am I looking for? Myself perhaps?

Vibrancy and aliveness, yeah sure, but what makes him/her vibrate?

Things vibrate in harmony, but they are of different tonality, but they complement each others beautifuly. We are looking for what the other needs and you pretty much have no chance to know that, because even him/her has no idea what he/she needs deep inside.

When I paint the "perfect woman" a man would like, she is the opposite of the 2 or 3 last GF I had. What made me vibrate with those girls was NOT what I consciously wanted but what I unconsciously needed.

What make you initialy attracted is what you unconsciously need but what will keep you attracted is parallel evolution. You become a truer woman and he becomes a truer man.

So who is he? In what stage of life is he? Is he older, younger? What did he experience in his life? What pieces are missing?

I think the best answer to all those questions is: be self-conscious, self-responsible, smile and do whatever YOU want, nature will teach you anyway... but listen to her.

Just Curious. What makes you floating around spilling those New Age Bullsh!ts?

Btw your profile pic is creepy and your name sounds like some cheap sticker brand.

Have a nice weekend .

 

[zekko]

For the man that is busy with his life and mission beyond women, is consistency of love and affection the greatest gift a woman can give him? Does he still feel the need 'to hunt' on occasion, but chooses to bypass it?

If a man gets bored with consistency of love and affection, I would say that you have chosen the wrong man. Men are not the only ones who have to screen their mates. Most men will never totally lose the urge to hunt, but he should have the self discipline and self control to prioritize and act according to what is more important to him. If my relationship is solid, I will always choose it over a cheap roll in the hay.

But again, some men (and some women) just can't be faithful. It all comes down to who you choose and how you screen.

 

[G_Govan]

I honestly can't relate to any man who would idolize a woman, maybe I'm a misogynist.

I've certainly been attracted to beautiful women and/or respecting of women with noteworthy accomplishments, but idolization?

I know women can idolize men and it seems to be more in line with the natural order of things.

It's like female law enforcement, even if they have guns on their hips, I find it difficult to feel intimidated by them. Rhonda Rousey could probably beat my ass but I wouldn't shy away from fighting her if she got in my face. Mike Tyson however, even at his current age, would still have me looking for a quick exit.

Idolization from an attractive woman is going to feel 10x better than an unattractive one. I don't think any woman wants to be idolized by men, at least the ones she's sexually attracted to.