A woman to be grateful of.

[BeExcellent]

Do be aware that things like this have the potential to change the dynamic. That's all. The awareness itself is useful. Everyone wants to see you in a fulfilling relationship with the woman you love.

My marriage failed due to the things LYD describes, it just took a long time because it is so very insidious and seems so very harmless at first. I was delighted to help my ex, was happy & pleased to be generous but it became very emasculating to him over time. I craved leadership & self sufficiency from him as my respect for him slipped away. Neither of us saw it coming until it was fully manifested.

Funny thing is my Dad pegged it before we married. All he said was "My only concern is you make more than he does...have you considered this?" In light of my ex's business endeavors at that time, and our relationship and my own self reliance I was dismissive of his concern. He never said another word about it. But in the end his question came from a wise place and I didn't have enough wisdom myself at that point in time to understand why or how that could possibly be an issue...but I recognize it fully 20 years later.

That dynamic dissolved with the divorce and the associated animosity went with it too as strange as that may sound. Even now he & I occasionally discuss it with this sense of "Wow, how did we not see that coming?"

So what LYD described absolutely CAN happen to couples, it happened to me...

You have some advantages in my opinion. You have far greater awareness than my ex and I did for one thing, and for another thing I do not get the impression you will ever allow yourself to rely on her fully either. So long as you lead the relationship and maintain your autonomy as a man, whether single, attached, or married, you should be fine, irrespective of any one individual decision along the way.

Glad you have something & someone wonderful! Cheers!

 

[Serenity]

@LiveYourDream I think you're overly pessimistic, I'll get back to you in a year. That should be enough time for any issues with it to surface. If there is any issue we're likely going to just fix it.

@BeExcellent Although I find it stupid that income should matter to whether I'm loved or not, I do make twice as much as her. I personally dislike depending too much on others, but this is NOT depending. I have a choice, I just choose to take her offer. She knows and I know I could get a loan, we know I can support myself and her for that matter.

I already lead the relationship, she doesn't even want to lead. I didn't become more irresponsible after getting a girlfriend, which many guys sadly do. I was fine while single and I'm fine now, I know how to get sh!t done.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

@hockeyfreak79 Yes I am letting her move in rent free. I told her she could rather put the rent money in her savings account, which we'll use to buy a house later. We're equal, her pedestal isn't higher than mine.

@LiveYourDream Even if this has a remote chance of becoming a mess I'm still gonna do it. I trust my girlfriend that it won't become an issue, I sure won't make trouble out of this. If I took your advice seriously I might have made a mess of this.

FACEPALM, are you delusional?!

Quick example just for fun.

Grewd rent = $1,000 (includes utilities etc) oh don't forget $$ for what 80 to 90% of dates too with the grateful princess.

GF rent is $0.00 Yeah, no pedestal here folks!

This is EQUAL in Grewds eyes.

Listen man I wish you nothing but the best of luck. She doesn't have a liscense so doubtful she has a job or maybe she takes a bus/train, idk.
So anyway I would imagine the both of you are really young. It's probably your first time living with a woman so you are overly excited. Do what you gotta do man, good-luck!

 

[Serenity]

FACEPALM, are you delusional?!

Quick example just for fun.

Grewd rent = $1,000 (includes utilities etc) oh don't forget $$ for what 80 to 90% of dates too with the grateful princess.

GF rent is $0.00 Yeah, no pedestal here folks!

This is EQUAL in Grewds eyes.

Listen man I wish you nothing but the best of luck. She doesn't have a liscense so doubtful she has a job or maybe she takes a bus/train, idk.
So anyway I would imagine the both of you are really young. It's probably your first time living with a woman so you are overly excited. Do what you gotta do man, good-luck!

Yeah I put her up on a pedestal. I pay all our dates. I whine and cry about pathetic things. I don't own sh!t, I don't make sh!t, I have no friends and I'm a sad sorry pathetic little loser who view my oneitis woman as a goddess. I wouldn't survive without her, I would die a horrible painful and slow death. So I svck up to her and act like a complete wreck of a man who's heavily deluded by his flimsy emotions.

No, seriously. Fvck that sh!t, I'm not fvcking deluded. It's just you who doesn't understand the entire context, which would be a little too complex to tell in a forum post.

Oh, btw she works. Your assumptions are way off, are you delusional?