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Need some advice on how to proceed---believe she thinks I'm distrustful...

BackInTheGame78

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I missed this.

You Alpha'ed her on the date. Good. Then you over-Alpha'ed her with your denial of her three date requests. Now she's on the defensive. And then you follow with, "your thinking of me so much must have been exhausting," is another Alpha play. She needed one or two beta throws at this point to bring her back to equilibrium.

Women "act" covertly. She is not going to overtly state, "Hey you're being an ass rejecting all my date offers with no counter and now you think you can just text me and I'm going to come running like a puppy dog." But, this is what she is thinking.

And so, she ignores your Saturday date request.

Then you follow with, "Cute....like a kitten chasing its tail :p" A bit insulting, and not apropos, given she is already on the defense.

If you still want to tap her, give it a week or two unless she reaches out to you first. Open with a beta throw to open rapport. Get her onto the phone. Give her one or two more beta hooks, and ask for the date.
I took it as a total brush off from her. And I didn't really reject her at all, I took one of the four options she gave me. Why is it a rejection that I had plans for the next 3 days and couldn't make something work, but then accepted a later date?

I think I even mentioned I had some free time on Wednesday night if that worked for her and she said no, she would keep that in mind for the future and that she had plans but Saturday would be good.

So I already planned on letting it ride til next week and reinitiating then.

Ever watch a kitten chase it's tail? It's cute, it's amusing, sometimes even adorable but have you ever joined in? Nope, you simply say "Oh, you silly kitten..." and turn your attention elsewhere after you get tired of watching it...eventually the kitten notices you aren't paying any attention to it and comes back over to get more attention...
 

guru1000

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And I didn't really reject her at all, I took one of the four options she gave me. Why is it a rejection that I had plans for the next 3 days and couldn't make something work, but then accepted a later date?.
Context is everything. I understood what you wrote as that she, on three separate occasions, asked you to join her and you rejected with no counter. That is very different than what you quoted above. Hence, my comment of, "this is not normal, protect your ID."

Under the quoted context, you didn't over-alpha her, you did fine. Though, after her last comment, ghost was your best option. I always subscribe to the following in interpersonal relations: When in doubt, do nothing.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Context is everything. I understood what you wrote as that she, on three separate occasions, asked you to join her and you rejected with no counter. That is very different than what you quoted above. Hence, my comment of, "this is not normal, protect your ID."

Under the quoted context, you didn't over-alpha her, you did fine. Though, after her last comment, ghost was your best option. I always subscribe to the following in interpersonal relations: When in doubt, do nothing.
Yeah, I waited over a day before I texted her that...either she will understand what I meant, ask me huh? or get pissed and say nothing. Whatever is fine I guess...any emotion is better than no emotion, lol...and now I'll just wait patiently.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Something else I've started to notice...more and more women I'm going on dates with seem to be interested in me in a sexual way versus a dating way.

Is it possible she might only be interested in a physical relationship and won't tell me up front? And then she is looking at me planning a date and it's confusing the issue? As in, "I don't really want to date this guy, I just want to fvck him?". She even mentioned something in one of her earlier comments saying "you can meet my friends and we can see what type of match we are, for fun or for real"...maybe I missed that hint?

I'd say at least half of the dates I've been on have trended that way over the past few months, so this is becoming new territory for me. It kinda makes me feel like I'm being used for sex, but who am I to complain I guess...hahaha

I've never been in this position before so I'm learning on the fly right now.
 

guru1000

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Part of the problem that you may be running into--and I, too, am guilty of this crime--is when you fvck many women, you go into a sexual state and your mannerisms, demeanor, and sub-communications reflect this as well. If the girl only seeks a serious LTR, and you are sexually escalating but not mitigating with beta throws or "relationship game," she may disqualify you although she is very sexually attracted to you.

I've had women say to me, "your are the hottest guy, yada, yada," feel me up and then poof. So I never bought into the SoSuave mantra that if a girl wants to fvck you, she will find a way. What is true is that if you are not servicing the girls' needs, then poof.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Part of the problem that you may be running into--and I, too, am guilty of this crime--is when you fvck many women, you go into a sexual state and your mannerisms, demeanor, and sub-communications reflect this as well. If the girl only seeks a serious LTR, and you are sexually escalating but not mitigating with beta throws or "relationship game," she may disqualify you although she is very sexually attracted to you.

I've had women say to me, "your are the hottest guy, yada, yada," feel me up and then poof. So I never bought into the SoSuave mantra that if a girl wants to fvck you, she will find a way. What is true is that if you are not servicing the girls' needs, then poof.
What's the play here when I talk to her again? Let her know it's cool and she can be honest with me and ask if I misunderstood and she is just looking for something physical? Or just do the I've been thinking about you routine?
 

BackInTheGame78

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Part of the problem that you may be running into--and I, too, am guilty of this crime--is when you fvck many women, you go into a sexual state and your mannerisms, demeanor, and sub-communications reflect this as well. If the girl only seeks a serious LTR, and you are sexually escalating but not mitigating with beta throws or "relationship game," she may disqualify you although she is very sexually attracted to you.

I've had women say to me, "your are the hottest guy, yada, yada," feel me up and then poof. So I never bought into the SoSuave mantra that if a girl wants to fvck you, she will find a way. What is true is that if you are not servicing the girls' needs, then poof.
UPDATE:

Been about 6 weeks since I messaged her, deleted her number. She contacts me out of the Blue today and asked if I'm still available, apparently things didn't work out with the other dude she was seeing and she wants to pick up where we left off.

Situation where playing cool and nonchalant led to her keeping me in mind... I left it at letting her know I was happy for her and to let me know if things don't work out. Apparently date 2 is about to go down 6 weeks later and it's a near 100% chance I'm going to lay her out...

Being chill, not caring and going about your business results in an opportunity to finish what I started...
 
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