Do i have any hope to get dates being fat

[Slime93]

Ive been fat my whole life. Fact that I have tits is what really kept me from approaching girls. I still got a few gfs in high school and right after but they all approached me.

I lost over 120 pounds in the last year And a half. Ex dumped me in September and I really started getting active. Running 4 miles 6 days a week. Lifting heavy 4 days out the week. But my body isn't really changing the way I want. Im scared Im gonna look sloppy and have tits until I get surgery. Im gonna stick to this active lifestyle but its discouraging

My problem is Ive never approached a girl in real life because of my weight.

Since I got dumped Ive given online dating a real shot. Lots of different sites. Some paid. Barely any responses. 0 meetups.

Where I work at it seems like even the biggest girls only come in with fit guys. I see fat guys with gfs but it seems like a rarity. And most of them don't have tits. My body is extra gross because Im tall so I have a slender frame with a bunch of sloppy fat sitting on top.

Seriously do I have any hope? Or should I just forget about girls until after I can afford surgery

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Ive been fat my whole life. Fact that I have tits is what really kept me from approaching girls. I still got a few gfs in high school and right after but they all approached me.

I lost over 120 pounds in the last year And a half. Ex dumped me in September and I really started getting active. Running 4 miles 6 days a week. Lifting heavy 4 days out the week. But my body isn't really changing the way I want. Im scared Im gonna look sloppy and have tits until I get surgery. Im gonna stick to this active lifestyle but its discouraging

My problem is Ive never approached a girl in real life because of my weight.

Since I got dumped Ive given online dating a real shot. Lots of different sites. Some paid. Barely any responses. 0 meetups.

Where I work at it seems like even the biggest girls only come in with fit guys. I see fat guys with gfs but it seems like a rarity. And most of them don't have tits. My body is extra gross because Im tall so I have a slender frame with a bunch of sloppy fat sitting on top.

Seriously do I have any hope? Or should I just forget about girls until after I can afford surgery

Just keep dropping weight. You can add some upper back and pec muscle to fill in some of that skin. Lose weight until you can see your abs and cuts on your quads and calves, you'll also see forearm veins. A lot of time what you think is tit's is actual fat. Sometimes it's gyno, which will need to be cut out.

I wouldn't chase the girls till my physical image is at least 85% of the way there.

 

[Von]

Its all in your mind.

If you need a good body to be happy.... do it.... you already in the good direction.

I would had work on your diet aka food you eat..... 80% of losing weight is actually the food.

Work on your streching too

 

[9asus2]

In theory "I'm fat (ugly/short/whatever) so can't get girls" is just a limiting belief. That is true to a certain extent, I'm sure you could still get girls just the way you are, but the flipside of the coin is this:

The confidence/charisma needed is PROBABLY going to be easier for you to obtain if you had a more attractive body, so by all means keep gaming, but make losing that fat a priority.

2 things:

- See the silver lining here, this is something you can change, you are not stuck this way

- 1g/lb of body weight in protein every day. Yes there are studies that say 0.67g/lb is enough when you're lifting, but some days you'll over estimate so be on the safe side, it's worked for me.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I wouldn't waste time trying to game right now, some light banter and only waste time on females who show a lot of interest in you. You be better off putting your body into a shape that's attractive to the ladies with and without clothes and one you can be proud of.

 

[Glassguy]

I am only 5'8 and I have no problem approaching women who are taller than me. Many have later said that just the confidence I had alone created major interest because nothing really bothers me when I am in that mindset.

I was married previously and got chubby. Immediately after the split I started cranking miles on the treadmill, eating right and lost 30 lbs. Back to fighting weight. I felt great and could definitely see the different looks the chicks gave me.

Do it for yourself but use whatever you need to use for motivation. Confidence IS the attractor and as long as you can get to the point that you are confident in yourself, you will be on your way.

Keep up the good work

 

[Dhoulmagus]

No, just be mr.fun with a I don't give a **** personality and you will kill it with women. The myth that you have to be some ripped bodybuilder to attract the most girls died out a long time ago. Only workout for you, not for girls.

 

[Alvafe]

first thing op, damn good for you to getting your ass out and start to work out, just keep doing it, don't forget to work the legs too.

now you really should work on your confidence, that is your problem, not your size, you are scared to be rejected, you are scared of hearing no and the only way to fix that is you put yourself out there and talk and try, I say to not do what the @mrgoodstuff said, go and chase some girls, you need to train it too not only your body

 

[Infern0]

A poor outward appearance is indicative of how you feel about yourself which is one reason its unattractive.

I would work on myself for a while if I was you, then get out there when you are happier with you

 

[ZTIME]

You my friend just went through an entire year of losing an average of 10lbs a month!! This itself is monumental and you should feel great, literally and consciously!

The hardest thing to do is to get motivated and pursue a fit and functional life. You're not finished, but what a great start.

Now comes the hard part!! Remember the really big guy you were a year ago? Burn it into your memory! Never forget! Losing 120 lbs in one year also implicated that somewhere inside of you was the ability to do it all along. You were overweight because you allowed it and disrespected yourself. Never let it happen again. It's a daily fight but you can do it.

Someone previously mentioned your diet, and they're spot on. My guess is that when your girlfriend left it f**ked you up a bit, leading you to make these huge changes. So I'm assuming that some of your weight loss is due to lack of eating (not in the good way). Before looking into surgery, I'd go to the gym and find a nutritionist and get a proper diet.

Don't let people take this from you! Embrace what you did and let it motivate you to do more while building a confidence level you've never fathomed could exist in you.

Can you get a date??? No fu**ing doubt about it! Men of all different looks, shapes and sizes are getting laid everyday sir. Why not you?

Something tells me that as time goes on your threads will paint a whole new success story of the fat dude who became a DJ!

Blessed to read it and thanks for the post!!

 

[Ratiocinative]

I don't know much about dealing with loose skin, but when it comes to losing weight and gaining muscle you just have to be consistent. Cut calories, lift heavy, and do some cardio to keep stamina up.

Don't focus on the results, just focus on what you need to do. I have a cork board on my wall with everything I plan on doing to improve myself. I can't tell you how much I weigh or how much weight I've lost, but I can tell you in the last 30 days I've not eaten any calories on 12 of those days and I've lost several inches on my gut.

Also, put visual reminders in places where you experience frequent temptation. If you are tempted to grab fast food while driving, then put something in your car that reminds you of your weight loss goal and motivates you to stay on track.

Bottom line is that consistency is key. Anyone who is successful at anything did so through constant and consistent progress. Nobody masters anything overnight. If you can be consistent you can accomplish in a year more than what more people will accomplish in 20 years or even their entire life. For example, maybe your goal is to exercise 1 hour every day. Do it every day without excuse. Do it if you're tired. Do it when you're sick. Do it when you're sleepy. Do it even if all you do is walk for an hour. Excuses lead to failure.

Oh, and IMO online dating is a waste of time. It's so much easier to attract hot women in person than it is online. Once you get over the fear of rejection you can easily meet more hot women than you'd ever have time to go out with in person, so no need to meet women online.

 

[Dingo]

Everything they said ^....

Think positive, work on yourself and the ladies will follow.

 

[logicallefty]

Ive struggled with weight too. I was 340 lbs many years ago at one time. A few months ago My Dr told me to loose 10 lbs but I think I should loose about 30. Keep working out to always improve. When you are ready, start gaming girls you think you may have a shot with just for practice. Your success with them and your continued improvement on yourself will build your confidence and exponentially get you closer to the results you want. It takes time but you will get there.

 

[ubercat]

I setup my mates last night with a smoking hot Asian girl. He probably needs to lose at least 20 kilos. It wasn't his weight that cost him the girl. It was his AFC ways. At one stage this chick was actually resting her hand on his back for a few seconds. And he didn't make a move. So yeah I agree with the guys. Priority is working out and just learning to socialize. But if a girl shows interest don't freak out and think she's weird. Just roll with it.

 

[DongWong]

Prioritize working out. I know it can be frustrating that you're not seeing quick results, but if you have a very compelling reason as to why you need to lose weight, then you will work harder at it and you will eventually get to where you want to be. Once you look good, you will feel good and in turn project more confidence.

You will have to get used to rejection because it will happen A LOT! Even to guys who are fit with six packs and whatnot. So your man boobs shouldn't be holding you down(no pun). My motivation for approaching women is that I hate thinking "what if...?" What if I approached her? Would she go out with me or reject me? I hate that feeling. A rejection is much better than pondering whether or not that girl likes you for a long time.

Go for it bruh!

 

[marmel75]

You certainly aren't helping yourself, but there are plenty of hot chicks that date fat guys...hell my wife's sister is smoking hot and is married to a fat guy with a beer gut.

There are women who will give you a chance, but you are likely so unconfident with your body image you will fvck it up.