Why SoSuave advice should be taken with a grain of salt

[DiegoSantori]

I might just as well have called this thread "Other people's opinions are based on your success" or "The outcome determines how other people rationalize your success/failure".

Scenario 1:

OP: "Told her that I've given up on women. Now she's chasing me".

SoSuave Community: "She's chasing you because she took it as challenge."

Scenario 2:

OP: "Told her that I've given up on women. Now she's ignoring me".

SoSuave Community: "She's ignoring you because now she knows that you have no options with women."



Scenario 3:

OP: "I texted her whenever I wanted to text her. I paid for the drinks on our date. We had great s** afterwards."

SoSuave Community: "Good job! A true Alpha does what the f*** he wants to do. Only betas strategically wait to text her back. Those who say that she should pay for her own drinks are broke betas."

Scenario 4:

OP: "I texted her whenever I wanted to text her. I paid for the drinks on our date. She friendzoned me."

SoSuave Community: "You should have texted her less, you dumb ****. Now she thinks you're desperate. Paying for her drinks? Really? Ever heard of 'Beta bucks, alpha f****'?"

 

[Tictac]

This is not Star Trek.

SoSuave is not the Borg.

 

[Dhoulmagus]

Good looking loser has great insight on why to take all pua forums as a grain of salt.

 

[guru1000]

Granted:
1) It takes two to tango;
2) The other party has to be a willing participant; and
3) The other party needs a minimum threshold of interest.

Despite:
1) SoSuave is a site for self-improvement, thus the focus on the self;
2) The analyses of failings hones social acumen, leading to greater success.
3) Often, the other party is a mirror to ourselves, and contrariwise.

 

[El Payaso]

There are a lot of voices here so you will get varying degrees of opinions. SoSuave never has one voice.

 

[wifehunter]

There's too many factors involved, not to mention, humans are great at making things complicated.

IMO, it boils down to one word:

personality

 

[logicallefty]

This is not Star Trek.

SoSuave is not the Borg.

True, but women pretty much are. And Facebook is the Borg Queen.

 

[Serenity]

Why SoSuave advice should be taken with a grain of salt? Because it's on an internet forum.

 

[Alvafe]

I might just as well have called this thread "Other people's opinions are based on your success" or "The outcome determines how other people rationalize your success/failure".

Scenario 1:

OP: "Told her that I've given up on women. Now she's chasing me".

SoSuave Community: "She's chasing you because she took it as challenge."

Scenario 2:

OP: "Told her that I've given up on women. Now she's ignoring me".

SoSuave Community: "She's ignoring you because now she knows that you have no options with women."



Scenario 3:

OP: "I texted her whenever I wanted to text her. I paid for the drinks on our date. We had great s** afterwards."

SoSuave Community: "Good job! A true Alpha does what the f*** he wants to do. Only betas strategically wait to text her back. Those who say that she should pay for her own drinks are broke betas."

Scenario 4:

OP: "I texted her whenever I wanted to text her. I paid for the drinks on our date. She friendzoned me."

SoSuave Community: "You should have texted her less, you dumb ****. Now she thinks you're desperate. Paying for her drinks? Really? Ever heard of 'Beta bucks, alpha f****'?"

your 1st and 2nd scenarios both are right, you think everything is bynary with is not, the things you do will not work on all woman, some will go after others don't, you still need to calibrate and see what you should be doing, in the end all we say is do what is the best for you

on your 3rd and 4th scenarios one was she liked you how you are and everything you did was in a good lvl for her, the other possible you lacked escalation, but we lack a lot of information then only you can tell and is still up to what is the best for you, who have to see to it is you, you ask you get a answers complaining about it is stupid.

same for some question a lot of thing who people ask they already know the answers, they just really want someone petting his head and saying he is doing ok, and when people say he is not he get defensive and start to blame the site

 

[ubercat]

It's great that you're applying some analysis to the advice you receive. Remember the DJ Bible is a starter kit. A lot of the advice contained is to protect you. Women are ruthless in their mating strategies and there's plenty of girls out there are interested in your wallet or you gratifying their ego. And there's also plenty of good woman who I just not interested you personally. The guidance in the Bible is meant to ensure that you don't waste your time on any of those. It's generally it's going to work well with most woman.

Then you take that advice and calibrate it to individual women. And plenty of the senior posters recognise and provide advice on that.

E.g. I've crashed and burnt on Plenty of dates. However I've never been friendzoned. That's because I've applied the advice on the site and I always set up a sexual frame from the beginning. The girls either on board or she's not. This means I don't waste time and money.

Also past the rather mundane tactical advice about what do I do with a certain girl, this site also stresses building your life as a man. Which is why I hang out here.

 

[marmel75]

All you can do is maximize the odds in your favor, but they are almost never 100% in your favor. So if you do something that puts the odds at 70% versus doing something that would put them at 40%, you have increased your odds, but still have a significant chance of not succeeding, but a far lower chance than you would have the other way...

 

[SmooveMooves]

Any advice should be taken with zero grain of salt. What's the purpose of this post? To whine?

 

[DiegoSantori]

Any advice should be taken with zero grain of salt. What's the purpose of this post? To whine?

Whining is not one of my strong suits. I just wanted to illustrate different perspectives and scenarios because I'm sure there are some guys who think there's only ONE truth whereas in reality, everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact.

 

[TheGambino]

I might just as well have called this thread "Other people's opinions are based on your success" or "The outcome determines how other people rationalize your success/failure".

Scenario 1:

OP: "Told her that I've given up on women. Now she's chasing me".

SoSuave Community: "She's chasing you because she took it as challenge."

Scenario 2:

OP: "Told her that I've given up on women. Now she's ignoring me".

SoSuave Community: "She's ignoring you because now she knows that you have no options with women."



Scenario 3:

OP: "I texted her whenever I wanted to text her. I paid for the drinks on our date. We had great s** afterwards."

SoSuave Community: "Good job! A true Alpha does what the f*** he wants to do. Only betas strategically wait to text her back. Those who say that she should pay for her own drinks are broke betas."

Scenario 4:

OP: "I texted her whenever I wanted to text her. I paid for the drinks on our date. She friendzoned me."

SoSuave Community: "You should have texted her less, you dumb ****. Now she thinks you're desperate. Paying for her drinks? Really? Ever heard of 'Beta bucks, alpha f****'?"

I'm on this forum long enough to understand that OP has a point about some of the posters. I understand your point very well sir.

I still like the forum a lot, I am thankfull for the knowledge so weed out the keyboard warriors and look out for the guys that are positive, have experience and are supportive, that's what I do.

 

[9asus2]

Any advice should be taken with zero grain of salt. What's the purpose of this post? To whine?

Look at it from other peoples points of view, this post is clearly intended to add value.

There are plenty of people who believe in "Do A and B WILL happen", black and white, paint by numbers advice. These people are then are disappointed when it doesn't work out

OP's post is to remind them, and everyone to a certain extent that there are variables we can't control, nuances to this lifestyle etc

If anything, posts like this should be encouraged.

 

[Yewki]

Agree with the OP. On top of this, another factor to consider is lack of context. No matter how much you write about a situation or problem on here, there's always details left out and distorted. For example you can't possibly describe all the emotions, reactions, body language, vibe and other nuances of a night out with a girl. People have the tendency to leave out details and embellish things as well. Only the person who experienced it knows the full context. Everyone else is just commenting on a distorted version of what happened.

I guarantee in lot of posts where guys are getting high fives for showing a girl who's boss or whatever, there's an important side of the story being left out which could quite possibly be the diff between the guy being a hero, or just being a dumba**

 

[DiegoSantori]

Agree with the OP. On top of this, another factor to consider is lack of context. No matter how much you write about a situation or problem on here, there's always details left out and distorted. For example you can't possibly describe all the emotions, reactions, body language, vibe and other nuances of a night out with a girl. People have the tendency to leave out details and embellish things as well. Only the person who experienced it knows the full context. Everyone else is just commenting on a distorted version of what happened.

I guarantee in lot of posts where guys are getting high fives for showing a girl who's boss or whatever, there's an important side of the story being left out which could quite possibly be the diff between the guy being a hero, or just being a dumba**

I couldn't have said it better myself.

 

[devilkingx2]

not everyone is the same, just like there are a million kinds of game that all work but not for everyone, it's the same thing here

sometimes you need to call a girl instead of texting her, sometimes you need to text a girl instead of calling her, sometimes you need to be more alpha, sometimes you need to be more beta.

"only sith deal in absolutes" - obi-wan kenobi