The reason why rude people are perceived as powerful

[DiegoSantori]

- Scientists have confirmed that most people perceive rule-breakers as being more in-control and leaderlike than the conscientious types and I've spent a long time thinking about the reason for that.

- Now I know the reason thanks to my own observations in the working world.

- The working world and the dating world are closely related. Very closely, to be precise.

- Employees at the lowest hierarchy level have to be nice to everyone since they are dependent on the benevolence of their supervisors.

- Employees at the intermediate hierarchy level only have to be nice to the boss but can be rude to the employees at the lowest level without consequences.

- The boss can be rude to everyone because he is independent. If his employees are unhappy and decide to work for another employer, he simply replaces them with new worker bees. Who cares.

- Since we don't really switch off our "professional life brain" when we go home at the end of the work day, we transfer this concept to our dating life too.


- The result:

- Attractive people are equivalent to bosses, unattractive people are equivalent to low-hierarchy-employees

- Just like bosses/CEOs, attractive people are independent because there will always be someone who wants them. They consequently don't have to be friendly.

- By implication, when we see rude behavior, we tend to think that this person is independent and powerful.

 

[Alvafe]

some where, rude people can be considered more powerfull for the I don't care about you stance he take, he don't care so others are nothing, but in a work place a boss who is rude almost mean is normally someone who let his "power" go over his head, he perceive his place as a place of power so he don't care about others, is more a character flaw then really being powerfull or attractive, same people are normally cowards who when questioned will toss the blame to anyone they can

 

[DiegoSantori]

but in a work place a boss who is rude almost mean is normally someone who let his "power" go over his head, he perceive his place as a place of power so he don't care about others, is more a character flaw then really being powerful or attractive.

Just my observations. A lot of bosses are rude and let their power go over their heads.

 

[ChrisFloyd]

By who?

 

[Alvafe]

Just my observations. A lot of bosses are rude and let their power go over their heads.

true and a lot of the same bosses have wifes who cheat on then or have problems in they marriage, self perceive power is not the same a real power, be in with physical, mental or cash

 

[Tictac]

How many 'bosses' have you met that are consistently rude?

I find that officious little sh*ts trapped down the food chain (mostly because of their piss poor attitudes and skills) are more and more consistently rude than in 'boss' land.

 

[MrWood]

i was just describing my rudeness in another thread as it pertains to my job and social ineptness... or success.
I am an American transplant in a soft spoken society, I am too abrasive even in 'murica corporate world. That said..

My former boss who hired me was leaving the division, I thanked her for the opportunity, taking a chance on a vocal outspoken bomb as myself (as I told her in the interview I would be)...
she quickly replied... "no Mr Wood, thank you"

 

[DiegoSantori]

Take the concept of ignoring for example. Ignoring a text message is rude.

In dating life, a lot of people (men & women) think higher of those who ignore them. (He/she must have a lot of options. I'm not even slightly important to him/her.)

In working life, those who can get away with ignoring messages/e-mails from others are the bosses. If low-hierarchy-employees ignore messages from their superiors, they will get in trouble.

So, in dating life, our brains are telling us: "If only people of high value can get away with ignoring text messages, he/she must be high value because he/she is ignoring me."

 

[marmel75]

I think a large part is because someone who doesn't need other people's approval is looked up to.

 

[Tictac]

Take the concept of ignoring for example. Ignoring a text message is rude.

In dating life, a lot of people (men & women) think higher of those who ignore them. (He/she must have a lot of options. I'm not even slightly important to him/her.)

In working life, those who can get away with ignoring messages/e-mails from others are the bosses. If low-hierarchy-employees ignore messages from their superiors, they will get in trouble.

So, in dating life, our brains are telling us: "If only people of high value can get away with ignoring text messages, he/she must be high value because he/she is ignoring me."

I think the 'bosses/attractive people idea is flawed. I see where you're trying to go. I don't think this will get you there.

I don't know where you work. But 'bosses' that ignore others just because they can are non-existent in my world. And I've worked in both large and small companies. If they ignore a message it's almost certainly because the message(s) are irrelevant to what they need to get done. They're not getting off on ignoring people.

 

[l__i__l]

It's not about acting rude, it's about having the courage to challenge the status quo.
A lot of people unfortunately don't have this courage and just agree with others, while deep down feeling the opposite.
People might perceive rude people as powerful, but they sure don't respect them.
There is no need to be rude, one can easily communicate in a succinct and respectful manner.
Some of the most successful managers or leaders I know are the most humble, after all cream rises to the top.
Speak up and don't be scared to go against the flow.

 

[logicallefty]

I only know two types of 'bosses'. The really good ones who are legit and skilled and respected and earned their post 110%. Or the sociopathic cons who BSed their way to the top with phoney 'charm' and lies and haven't a clue about anything. Most women who are bosses in male dominated fields 'charmed' their way 'up the pole' if you catch my drift.

 

[zekko]

I think Diego has a point. A person higher up in administration has fewer (if any) people overseeing them and holding them accountable than a person on the bottom. If a person on the bottom offends anybody, they are putting their job at risk. A boss might not be consistently rude, but if he has a bad day or something he can get away with a lot more than someone on the bottom, because there are fewer people to call them on it.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Take the concept of ignoring for example. Ignoring a text message is rude.

In dating life, a lot of people (men & women) think higher of those who ignore them. (He/she must have a lot of options. I'm not even slightly important to him/her.)

In working life, those who can get away with ignoring messages/e-mails from others are the bosses. If low-hierarchy-employees ignore messages from their superiors, they will get in trouble.

So, in dating life, our brains are telling us: "If only people of high value can get away with ignoring text messages, he/she must be high value because he/she is ignoring me."

Dunno dude, if someone just straight up ignores me after I say something useful or related to whatever it was we were talking about, I just think that they're *******s. And if a boss is consistently mean, especially in a suburb or small town, then he/she ends up going lut of business because no one wants to work for them (hey, people talk. You don't want to be known as the ******* boss). And like you said, people have a hard time switching off their work life brain. So then those people are just *******s as a person, not as a boss. I look down on people who are *******s, I dont look up to them.

 

[DiegoSantori]

I look down on people who are *******s, I dont look up to them.

Well, a lot of people seem to look up to them, otherwise jerks wouldn't have the success they enjoy in this world.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Well, a lot of people seem to look up to them, otherwise jerks wouldn't have the success they enjoy in this world.

Only because no one wants to deal woth such people, and it's not worth their time to sit and argue all day. What happens if an ******* clashes with a real masculine tough dude who won't budge? The ******* submits. If it's over something big, then the ******* will be afraid of the other person because generally speaking, those masculine people arent afraid to fight.