Smh - Date for Tonight Attempts Power Play, Throws Tantrum

[LiveYourDream]

My perspective is this...

• A man who continually chooses to deceive himself, into rationalizing his inaction, will eventually find himself unfulfilled.
• A man who continually chooses to chase/score pvssy (or anything), in order to feed an image or his ego, will eventually find himself unfulfilled.
• A man who continually chooses to perceive and act from the centeredness of his being, will come to know and experience deep levels of fulfillment.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

My perspective is this...

• A man who continually chooses to deceive himself, into rationalizing his inaction, will eventually find himself unfulfilled.

This man will end up in a "hole" in life. He will be depressed, and he will need to take personal responsibility for his current position and make the changes and actions required to climb out of that state in mind.

• A man who continually chooses to chase/score pvssy (or anything), in order to feed an image or his ego, will eventually find himself unfulfilled.

This man will be "happier" than the first man. He will also appear more confident and attractive to ladies, because his being and actions was groomed to have success with them. Eventually a bunch of one night stands and emotionless sex will make him feel empty if he has a conscious. Remember, some people do NOT have a conscious.

• A man who continually chooses to perceive and act from the centeredness of his being, will come to know and experience deep levels of fulfillment.

He still has to think about others to receive his full fulfillment. So while remaining at his center, he has to be generous enough to share it with others and bring them into it.

 

[LiveYourDream]

This man will be "happier" than the first man. He will also appear more confident and attractive to ladies, because his being and actions was groomed to have success with them. Eventually a bunch of one night stands and emotionless sex will make him feel empty if he has a conscious. Remember, some people do NOT have a conscious.

In my perception, this man's "happiness" is a generally a facade, or mostly limited to a more surface level happiness.

(The third man) still has to think about others to receive his full fulfillment. So while remaining at his center, he has to be generous enough to share it with others and bring them into it.

In my perception, this man interacts with others, to have/enjoy the experience, not because he is subtly seeking fulfillment from them.

 

[guru1000]

OK, I’ll bite, as Fastlife directed some of “this” toward the subject matter, so although not directly related, it collaterally supports/contradicts implicit positions that relate to the subject matter.

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• A man who continually chooses to deceive himself, into rationalizing his inaction, will eventually find himself unfulfilled.

Correct.

• A man who continually chooses to chase/score pvssy (or anything), in order to feed an image or his ego, will eventually find himself unfulfilled.

Correct. But what if a man chooses to score "anything" because he elects to and enjoys it, unencumbered by the social constructs that tell him what he ought to do? Further, what if a man averts what he enjoys because rejection by the "anything" could be ego-injurious? Would, then, he not be in an equal or worse position than the man in your quoted supposition.

• A man who continually chooses to perceive and act from the centeredness of his being, will come to know and experience deep levels of fulfillment.

Correct. And what if the centeredness of his being were not to conform to others' "shoulds" nor be slave to the social constructs that bind him and with which he was unwillfully indoctrinated, but instead embrace the activities that HE enjoys directed by his own "free" volition?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

In my perception, this man's "happiness" is a generally a facade, or mostly limited to a more surface level happiness.

In my perception, this man interacts with others, to have/enjoy the experience, not because he is subtly seeking fulfillment from them.

LiveYourDream, what you might not know from a mans perspective, is any sex will allow us to feel more lively and exhilarated than being celebate. And it boosts your hormones too. Also women tend to be more attracted to guys who get selected for sex, it's in our mojo. So the man having sex, even unfulfilled sex will be happier and boosted more of testosterone and confidence than the guy who makes excuses and goes 12 months, 18 months 2 years without being close to a lady.

Of course unfulfilled sex guy may get tired of the hollow sex and the lack of emotions ( and by the way some of these babes do feed him emotions ) but he might eventually want someone he wants to reciprocate to. He may take a celebate period, I just pray it's not too long a time frame because he will become less attractive, and more easily depressed over time from not having sex.

For a non-gay male, having sex raises our confidence in self and raises our hormones and makes life feel better versus no sex.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I personally think you handled it well.

Even better: when she said, "I asked you a question," I would have went ghost. No response. Game over right there.

When they disrespect, check them HARD. Best way to check them is to walk away/go ghost. You risk losing them, but regardless of the outcome, they'll never talk to you like that again.

And they will like and respect you more if they stay around because they know they were wrong.

 

[ohrein]

There's too much "being a DJ is X" in this thread. Being a DJ is being successful with women. Success is defined by what you want. It is entirely subjective. I'm on the OP's side, I don't bother with games to get laid. If you want to play the game, then that's up to you. There's nothing wrong with nexting women you're not interested in.

Not everyone wants the challenge of getting laid with lower interest women. The fact she cancelled the date tells you everything about this interaction. She didn't cancel because of his replies, she cancelled because she wasn't that interested. Nothing else really matters.

OP had his frame and he stuck to it and he weeded out low interest. It's not up to anyone else to decide what we as individuals desire from interactions with the opposite sex.

 

[LiveYourDream]

LiveYourDream, what you might not know from a mans perspective, is any sex will allow us to feel more lively and exhilarated than being celebate. And it boosts your hormones too. Also women tend to be more attracted to guys who get selected for sex, it's in our mojo. So the man having sex, even unfulfilled sex will be happier and boosted more of testosterone and confidence than the guy who makes excuses and goes 12 months, 18 months 2 years without being close to a lady.

Of course unfulfilled sex guy may get tired of the hollow sex and the lack of emotions ( and by the way some of these babes do feed him emotions ) but he might eventually want someone he wants to reciprocate to. He may take a celebate period, I just pray it's not too long a time frame because he will become less attractive, and more easily depressed over time from not having sex.

For a non-gay male, having sex raises our confidence in self and raises our hormones and makes life feel better versus no sex.

My perspective is this...

• A man who continually chooses to deceive himself, into rationalizing his inaction, will eventually find himself unfulfilled.
• A man who continually chooses to chase/score pvssy (or anything), in order to feed an image or his ego, will eventually find himself unfulfilled.
• A man who continually chooses to perceive and act from the centeredness of his being, will come to know and experience deep levels of fulfillment.

@mrgoodstuff I realize I perhaps I was not as clear as I had intended. In the perspective I shared, I was referring to how the motivation, behind one's action or inaction, impacts one's fulfillment as a person and in one's life. Just to be clear, I was not referring to sexual fulfillment, or how often a man has sex or doesn't have sex. I see now maybe you are adding that in to expand my understanding. Thank you.

I appreciate what you share about men and sex. I personally view men's primary needs as food, water, air, and sex. Maybe that's extreme, I don't know. I perceive it as both a drive and a need, that profoundly affects a man's experience of well-being, on many levels, beyond just sexual pleasure or fulfillment. Because of that, especially in monogamous relationships, I think it's imperative that a man's woman understand his need for sex and how important it is, to his well-being and the well-being of the relationship, so even if her sexual desire may not match in a moment, her ultimate caring for his well-being is always present in her interactions. To me, being a woman who enjoys; her femininity, being pleasing to a man, and surrendering to his lead, is key.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

@mrgoodstuff I realize I perhaps I was not as clear as I had intended. In the perspective I shared, I was referring to how the motivation, behind one's action or inaction, impacts one's fulfillment as a person and in one's life. Just to be clear, I was not referring to sexual fulfillment, or how often a man has sex or doesn't have sex. I see now maybe you are adding that in to expand my understanding. Thank you.

I appreciate what you share about men and sex. I personally view men's primary needs as food, water, air, and sex. Maybe that's extreme, I don't know. I perceive it as both a drive and a need, that profoundly affects a man's experience of well-being, on many levels, beyond just sexual pleasure or fulfillment. Because of that, especially in monogamous relationships, I think it's imperative that a man's woman understand his need for sex and how important it is, to his well-being and the well-being of the relationship, so even if her sexual desire may not match in a moment, her ultimate caring for his well-being is always present in her interactions. To me, being a woman who enjoys; her femininity, being pleasing to a man, and surrendering to his lead, is key.

Thank you for acknowledging this. I know if you have a man you care about you will never let him go starved, and also be happy to fill his masculine side. He will feel like a king.

 

[Stugots26]

I've got no shortage of interested women - one coming over tonight, another buying me dinner on Thursday because she wants to (and when I said "that doesn't mean I'll put out" her response was "no means yes?", so it's on), and two more dates on Tuesday and Wednesday as well with another two different women.

The girl in question for this thread made a huge mistake, but that's on her.

 

[guru1000]

The girl in question for this thread made a huge mistake, but that's on her.

That's great that you are in abundance Stugots; as should be the case irrespective of whether you met the girl in question or not.

You said she made a huge mistake but that's on her. I disagree. She simply doesn't care, nor has probably given it a second thought. The purpose of this thread as I understand was for some feedback from the exchange. BUT, if you truly were indifferent, you (1) could have ejected after her "I asked you a question" comment; (2) you wouldn't have created this thread unless for amusement purposes; (3) you wouldn't post a week later stating she made a huge mistake. Instead you would have ejected, and been done.

You do care to an extent.

Hey there is nothing wrong with analyzing communications. This is how we learn. Nor are my posts to be confused with, "you should have banged her only." My position always was NEXT her if YOU don't like her (ancillary position) or bang her if there's play (main position); but, don't stay in the middle until she NEXTs you and then state I didn't want her anyway.

 

[DiegoSantori]

Set up a date on Thursday for tonight via text, haven't talked to her since we set it up. While I'm at work:

Her: Hey
Me: Hi, what's up?
Her: How's it goin
Me: Pretty good, but pretty busy. I'll see you tonight.
Her: Where do you work
Me: See you at 8
Her: I just asked you a question
Me: I appreciate that, but can't chat right now. Ask me tonight. Looking forward to it.
Her: I have to cancel but good luck to you!

Seriously?

LMAO. Just LMAO. You have the time to write "I appreciate that, but can't chat right now. Ask me tonight. Looking forward to it." but you are too busy to say where you work, which would take fewer words than this sentence? Lol

 

[LiveYourDream]

@guru1000 I think you would be well served to consider, why your own ego is so hung up on and attached, to making yourself appear 'right', to others. (I don't mean just in this thread.) Some good food for thought, in my opinion, if you are inclined.

 

[guru1000]

• LYD, ad hominem? Really?

 

[Stugots26]

but you are too busy to say where you work, which would take fewer words than this sentence? Lol

That's not the point. Answering her question would have put me in her frame and/or only led to more conversation, whereas I tried to politely bow out. She took umbrage with that, and that was her choice.

 

[LiveYourDream]

• LYD, ad hominem? Really?

LOL. I thought you knew me better than that.

Let me clarify for you. I see you @guru1000 as someone who continually seeks to improve themselves. If you are truly sincere in that desire, as I perceive, there is a goldmine for you in the question I offered. Not everyone is capable or willing to be rigorously honest with themselves, in such direct, inner, self-evaluation. I suspect you are and thus I offered the reflection for your personal consideration, with great sincerity, should you choose to consider it.

 

[DiegoSantori]

That's not the point. Answering her question would have put me in her frame and/or only led to more conversation, whereas I tried to politely bow out. She took umbrage with that, and that was her choice.

Yeah, I know why you started this thread. You wanted to "control the power game", I caught on to it. Nevertheless it sounds like you're hiding something if you are not even willing to mention where you work, which could be done in a short and concise sentence. As a woman, I'd think you must not be very proud of your job. Would a lawyer conceal that he's a lawyer? Probably not. Would a cleaner conceal that he's wiping floors for a living? Entirely possible.

 

[guru1000]

Diego, Stugots is a lawyer from what I understand. And I concur with him to that extent of not overtly divulging the type of work in a line of questioning after the date was set (Though he could have bantered with it to loosen up the rapport). Remember, successful men vet for gold diggers and don't want to be used for their status/wealth.

However, that stated, there are more socially acute ways to have handled the exchange.

 

[Stugots26]

more socially acute ways to have handled the exchange

I am an attorney, but the last time I checked, I'm not billing time that she's going to pay.

If she had reservations or concerns, she could have expressed them directly. If she wanted to make conversation, I explained I wasn't available. But I'm not going make conversation or pull reservations/concerns out of her when it's inconvenient to me.

I haven't skipped a beat and my strategy is not harming me in the long run.

 

[DiegoSantori]

@guru1000 If you don't want gold diggers in your life, there are many other ways to spot them. Sorry, but being mysterious about your job is a bad strategy imho. As we've seen in this example, she didn't respond well. A man hiding his job is like a company hiding its address. People will be suspicious of you. Maybe she was a gold digger, maybe she wasn't. We will never know. If you're a successful man, tell her about your job, then meet her, then search for red flags. Are her friends gold diggers? Does she hate other women? Does she crave status? OP will never know since he insisted on playing an unneccessary power game, which eventually backfired.