Need some advice on how to proceed---believe she thinks I'm distrustful...

[guru1000]

My prediction on this one is you will bang her on the second or third date. Thereafter, she will be even more aggressive in chasing you which you will be unable to entertain. And then she will pull way back--followed by "poof."

Let us know how this one goes.

 

[MrWood]

yet you have rejected her at every step..

 

[Tictac]

My instinct says she might be BPD.

Hilarious! You act like a needy douche after one date. But she's BPD?

You confuse over-thinking with intelligence and are projecting your thoughts onto a woman you don't even know.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Hilarious! You act like a needy douche after one date. But she's BPD?

You confuse over-thinking with intelligence and are projecting your thoughts onto a woman you don't even know.

Unsure exactly what would be needy. I haven't over texted, I texted once in 3 days at this point, and she offered me 3 different times to hang out in the 2 days following the date which I declined because I had other things going on. Pretty sure if I was needy I would be texting her non-stop and would have canceled my other plans to spend time with her.

My initial idea may have not been the best strategy, I'll admit that, but I have not done anything needy at this point in her eyes. In fact probably the opposite.

And as far as BPD I can only say that very similar things happened after date 1 with the known BPD chick, which is why I draw the comparison.

 

[Tictac]

Unsure exactly what would be needy. I haven't over texted, I texted once in 3 days at this point, and she offered me 3 different times to hang out in the 2 days following the date which I declined because I had other things going on. Pretty sure if I was needy I would be texting her non-stop and would have canceled my other plans to spend time with her.

My initial idea may have not been the best strategy, I'll admit that, but I have not done anything needy at this point in her eyes. In fact probably the opposite.

And as far as BPD I can only say that very similar things happened after date 1 with the known BPD chick, which is why I draw the comparison.

You are doing all is after one date. You don't even know this woman.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You are doing all is after one date. You don't even know this woman.

You are right I don't, I can only see the similarities between the two and how they behaved immediately after, which have been the only two who have behaved like this that I I have met...

 

[fastlife]

Surprised no one asked: how old is this girl?

Seems by her date invites & general behavior, she's vetting you for bf/provider material & you're not playing along. If she's closer to 30 than she is to 18, there's a good chance she won't play in your frame no matter how sexually attracted she is to you. If that's the case then you can play a little beta game to get the lay, but be prepared for the fallout.

Personally, I'd do...nothing. Let her play whatever game with herself she wants. The lengths of her texts don't mean ****. The only thing that matters is what happens in person. So get her in person & focus more on yourself in the meantime.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Surprised no one asked: how old is this girl?

Seems by her date invites & general behavior, she's vetting you for bf/provider material & you're not playing along. If she's closer to 30 than she is to 18, there's a good chance she won't play in your frame no matter how sexually attracted she is to you. If that's the case then you can play a little beta game to get the lay, but be prepared for the fallout.

Personally, I'd do...nothing. Let her play whatever game with herself she wants. The lengths of her texts don't mean ****. The only thing that matters is what happens in person. So get her in person & focus more on yourself in the meantime.

She is 39

 

[fastlife]

She is 39

Yeah, you're trying to game her like she's 20 and has all the time in the world to not GAF about other considerations. She's not. You either have to deal with the fact that she'll be more circumspect in her approach to you or do a sort of Hail Mary option, keep things super sexual and see if she has one more reckless AF left in her.

Or, if you're significantly younger than her, she's going to try to see how much validation she can squeeze out of you--and, being older, she knows that a man's willingness to sleep with her isn't a great indication of her remaining value. Not sure what your endgame is here--but there's a good chance that she's holding the frame and you'd have much better luck finding a cute 20 y/o who you'll have much more leverage with as far as what she's looking for and what you're willing to provide.

EDIT--On second thought, probably your best play is to just hang with her on the date and not escalate but say things like, "You know, I like that we can spend time together without having to worry about anything happening. You're like my aunt" or "God, if you were only younger...we could have an awesome time." And just generally disqualify her as a sexual option--watch how fast she'll change her tune to prove to herself she's still got it.

 

[MrWood]

for sure game to a 39yo is way different than a 20-28yo
they do try to vet you more for a LTR, you can game them for attraction and sexual interest.
As I said and you confirmed... you rejected her counters 3 times with very boyish play, this is not going to work like you think.
As a note, most over 35 will not initiate in a text game (overly delayed and aloof reply's) but respond very well to an un-needy "hello" / "good morning" and an interesting question.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

you rejected her counters 3 times with very boyish play, this is not going to work like you think.

There was nothing boyish about them, I honestly had things going on. I am not going to just rearrange my life for a chick I just met. We made plans to spend time together this Saturday, I told her I would let her know what we would be doing by today or tomorrow.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

for sure game to a 39yo is way different than a 20-28yo
they do try to vet you more for a LTR, you can game them for attraction and sexual interest.
As I said and you confirmed... you rejected her counters 3 times with very boyish play, this is not going to work like you think.
As a note, most over 35 will not initiate in a text game (overly delayed and aloof reply's) but respond very well to an un-needy "hello" / "good morning" and an interesting question.

UPDATE: Called this morning before I went in to work, as I had a lot going on at work/after work and I wasn't going to really have a good time to be alone and chat for a few minutes so I figured I 'd try to catch her in the AM before we headed to work. Went to VM, no message...

she texts me about 4 hours later saying she has been feeling run down this weekend due to so many events she has been at and slept in this morning and asking me what was up...

I responded about 2 hours later that it was cool, that I thought I would try to give her a call before work since I was going to be really busy today and wasn't sure if I'd have time later, and that thinking about me so much must have been exhausting the last few days, and that I wanted to fill her in on what I came up with for Saturday.

No response for about 8 hours, then she texts "Thanks for thinking of me . Just got back from <city about 90 miles away> celebrating Mother's Day with my Mom and need to get ready for bed, I'll TTYS"

LMAO! This makes me laugh...you can't relax for a second with these fvcking chicks these days, no matter how Alpha and in control you come off in person. Guess she will get a strong dose of alpha again starting tomorrow to clear up any misconceptions she might have. If I wanted to play these stupid ass games I'd go back to fvcking 25 year olds. At least their pvssies might be worth it. This chick really thought I was going to act desperate and start texting and wondering why she hadn't texted back? Wow...fvck that sh!t.

I also have gotten to the point I'm almost overwhelmed with sh!t now. I had a chick who I haven't seen in 4 months, who I banged for about 7 months, randomly text me today asking me when I was free to get together, and I hit her with the "Who's this?" and she got pissed and then I told her I don't have time to revisit the situation with her and if she wants to plan something with me and let me know she can but I have no time to put any effort into her at this point, and that I wish things had turned out differently between us.

She aggressively asked when I was free this week, and told me she will make any day work if I let her know. This is the same chick who was always busy starting about 4 months ago. I told her Friday, she agreed, I asked when and where, she said anytime works for her, I told her 9pm and she said fine, and then I told her let me know where to go and she said "I dunno you tell me, lol". My response? "No, you are going to put in the effort like I said." She told me the place and that see really missed me and is excited to see me...so basically I disqualified her and she fought hard to prove she is worth it to me. I'll probably end up banging her Friday night.

The Fillipina chick I banged 2 weeks ago texted me trying to see when I'd be available for a rematch and said she is going to let me know when she finds out her schedule for the rest of the week tomorrow...I texted a new chick today and set up a date for Wednesday, and I have another date for Thursday and 2 more numbers.

Somewhat irritated with myself that I thought my Alpha-ness in person would give me some slack with this chick, which apparently wasn't enough for her, so she is going to get a strong dose of it again to quell any doubts. I'll post an update again tomorrow more than likely.

 

[Tictac]

UPDATE: Called this morning before I went in to work, as I had a lot going on at work/after work and I wasn't going to really have a good time to be alone and chat for a few minutes so I figured I 'd try to catch her in the AM before we headed to work. Went to VM, no message...

she texts me about 4 hours later saying she has been feeling run down this weekend due to so many events she has been at and slept in this morning and asking me what was up...

I responded about 2 hours later that it was cool, that I thought I would try to give her a call before work since I was going to be really busy today and wasn't sure if I'd have time later, and that thinking about me so much must have been exhausting the last few days, and that I wanted to fill her in on what I came up with for Saturday.

No response for about 8 hours, then she texts "Thanks for thinking of me . Just got back from <city about 90 miles away> celebrating Mother's Day with my Mom and need to get ready for bed, I'll TTYS"

LMAO! This makes me laugh...you can't relax for a second with these fvcking chicks these days, no matter how Alpha and in control you come off in person. Guess she will get a strong dose of alpha again starting tomorrow to clear up any misconceptions she might have. If I wanted to play these stupid ass games I'd go back to fvcking 25 year olds. At least their pvssies might be worth it. This chick really thought I was going to act desperate and start texting and wondering why she hadn't texted back? Wow...fvck that sh!t.

I also have gotten to the point I'm almost overwhelmed with sh!t now. I had a chick who I haven't seen in 4 months, who I banged for about 7 months, randomly text me today asking me when I was free to get together, and I hit her with the "Who's this?" and she got pissed and then I told her I don't have time to revisit the situation with her and if she wants to plan something with me and let me know she can but I have no time to put any effort into her at this point, and that I wish things had turned out differently between us.

She aggressively asked when I was free this week, and told me she will make any day work if I let her know. This is the same chick who was always busy starting about 4 months ago. I told her Friday, she agreed, I asked when and where, she said anytime works for her, I told her 9pm and she said fine, and then I told her let me know where to go and she said "I dunno you tell me, lol". My response? "No, you are going to put in the effort like I said." She told me the place and that see really missed me and is excited to see me...so basically I disqualified her and she fought hard to prove she is worth it to me. I'll probably end up banging her Friday night.

The Fillipina chick I banged 2 weeks ago texted me trying to see when I'd be available for a rematch and said she is going to let me know when she finds out her schedule for the rest of the week tomorrow...I texted a new chick today and set up a date for Wednesday, and I have another date for Thursday and 2 more numbers.

Somewhat irritated with myself that I thought my Alpha-ness in person would give me some slack with this chick, which apparently wasn't enough for her, so she is going to get a strong dose of it again to quell any doubts. I'll post an update again tomorrow more than likely.

Is this Jekyll or Hyde typing this time?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Is this Jekyll or Hyde typing this time?

Hahaha, I'm realizing I need to stop overthinking things and just be the dude she met that she was all about via any communication medium.

 

[Tictac]

Hahaha, I'm realizing I need to stop overthinking things and just be the dude she met that she was all about via any communication medium.

There you go!

 

[guru1000]

Is this Jekyll or Hyde typing this time?

Eh, normal is boring

 

[BeExcellent]

Her response to you (in my view) is not unexpected.

In her shoes I would observe your actions and see you right now as a "mixed signals" man at best. That's not a good thing. She will observe your actions with a level of distrust in that case.

I know the DJ mantra on this is get her hamster reel spinning etc., but experienced women may just dial it back to your level of investment & that's it, no hamster wheeling whatsoever.

See if she spends time with you Saturday. She seems like a high cancel potential to me.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Her response to you (in my view) is not unexpected.

In her shoes I would observe your actions and see you right now as a "mixed signals" man at best. That's not a good thing. She will observe your actions with a level of distrust in that case.

I know the DJ mantra on this is get her hamster reel spinning etc., but experienced women may just dial it back to your level of investment & that's it, no hamster wheeling whatsoever.

See if she spends time with you Saturday. She seems like a high cancel potential to me.

I had no intent of sending any mixed signals. She can either believe what she saw in person or she can choose not to. If she thinks I'm going to chase her she is sadly mistaken.

She will think she has won, I'll think I've won, in reality both of us have lost.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Fillipina chick called yesterday around 2 asking "if I was free later on..." Saw her last night and wore her ass out...I was so amped up to pummel that pvssy I didn't even cvm and she is like wtf, will you please cvm??
Couldn't get there, she had to leave by midnight so I told her she will get a double load next time.

In an I don't give a fvck moment I ended up replying to this chicks message from the other day with "Cute....like a kitten chasing its tail "

I'll check back with her next week at some point, I've got another date tonight where the chick already messaged me this morning asking if we were still good and one for Friday and made alternate plans with another for Saturday.

 

[guru1000]

UPDATE: Called this morning before I went in to work, as I had a lot going on at work/after work and I wasn't going to really have a good time to be alone and chat for a few minutes so I figured I 'd try to catch her in the AM before we headed to work. Went to VM, no message...

she texts me about 4 hours later saying she has been feeling run down this weekend due to so many events she has been at and slept in this morning and asking me what was up...

I responded about 2 hours later that it was cool, that I thought I would try to give her a call before work since I was going to be really busy today and wasn't sure if I'd have time later, and that thinking about me so much must have been exhausting the last few days, and that I wanted to fill her in on what I came up with for Saturday.

No response for about 8 hours, then she texts "Thanks for thinking of me . Just got back from <city about 90 miles away> celebrating Mother's Day with my Mom and need to get ready for bed, I'll TTYS"

I missed this.

You Alpha'ed her on the date. Good. Then you over-Alpha'ed her with your denial of her three date requests. Now she's on the defensive. And then you follow with, "your thinking of me so much must have been exhausting," is another Alpha play. She needed one or two beta throws at this point to bring her back to equilibrium.

Women "act" covertly. She is not going to overtly state, "Hey you're being an ass rejecting all my date offers with no counter and now you think you can just text me and I'm going to come running like a puppy dog." But, this is what she is thinking.

And so, she ignores your Saturday date request.

Then you follow with, "Cute....like a kitten chasing its tail " A bit insulting, and not apropos, given she is already on the defense.

If you still want to tap her, give it a week or two unless she reaches out to you first. Open with a beta throw to open rapport. Get her onto the phone. Give her one or two more beta hooks, and ask for the date.