Topic: Composure

[guru1000]

@cola is correct. The principle difference between a type A and type B personality is that a Type A thinks that his action will shape what is going on, where a type B is more willing to let the environment shape the situation.

If you take nothing away from this thread then take this.... There is NOTHING you can actually do that will make a woman like you. There is no action you can take, no line you can deliver, nothing. All you can do is ask her out so that she knows you are interested in her, and act like a man. If she likes you then she will make it easy, and you will not have to guess what's going on.

So if you are a type A personality that thinks your actions can make anything happen with any woman, then you are settling yourself up for failure.

I strongly disagree. Interest level is not binary; there are varying degrees. Nor is IL static; it's dynamic dependent upon the frame.

I've had many with lower to moderate interest that are some of my most avid fans today. In contrast, relations where the IL is super high from the onset have a higher likelihood to fizzle out quicker.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Guys are forgetting interest can grow as well as it well shrink. The reason we tell you to get away from the female who doesn't have high enough IL, is to grow it takes time. Your not going to change one thing and it "fixes" it, but there are a hundred LITTLE things you can do to take someone from "like" to "love", and your better off not hanging around the one you would like your interest to increase to.

 

[RangerMIke]

I strongly disagree. Interest level is not binary; there are varying degrees. Nor is IL static; it's dynamic dependent upon the frame.

I've had many with lower to moderate interest that are some of my most avid fans today. In contrast, relations where the IL is super high from the onset have a higher likelihood to fizzle out quicker.

Now where did I say this is binary? But she does have to at least like you or nothing you do will matter. But I agree there are degrees of "like". The more she likes you the easier she makes it for you. If she barely likes you it will take more time... if it's love at first sight you might be ****ing her in 15 minutes.

There are also degrees of dislike from... "I like him... too bad he's short." To absolute hate.... no mater where you fall on that continuum, you really don't have a chance if you fail her baseline criteria.

 

[RangerMIke]

It's important to clarify what you're saying RangerMike. Should a guy not work out, avoid developing himself and his passions, and let his social skills remain poor because "nothing you can actually do will make a woman like you"? Clearly, there's a lot any man can do to raise his value, social standing, and overall skills in general with women. And becoming more attractive in the general sense will help to a degree with basically every woman in the specific.

I know that you're speaking with regards to attempting to sway a particular girl's interest with your own actions (this is indeed a sketchy and losing proposition), but for other readers, it's important to qualify that making yourself more attractive in general will certainly help - your own actions and efforts with respect to self-improvement will have a significant, measurable impact on your overall success. Rather than making a woman like you, developing oneself makes it more likely that she will like you, if that makes sense.

What I am saying is that you should be the very best you can. How attractive you are will dictate the quality and quantity of women who will make themselves available to you.

Never lock onto just one woman. If you look at this like I'm going to try and get "that girl" just know you aren't going to get "that girl" if she doesn't like you.

Now it's not to say that a woman that at one time did not like you, would not change her mind if after a period of time away from her that you went through significant positive change.

It's possible to do this but you need distance, time, and improvement. But IMO this is the WRONG frame, you should be casting a broad net and go after women you find attractive that like you.... if you are trying to get just a particular woman you are setting yourself up for grief.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

What I am saying is that you should be the very best you can. How attractive you are will dictate the quality and quantity of women who will make themselves available to you.

Never lock onto just one woman. If you look at this like I'm going to try and get "that girl" just know you aren't going to get "that girl" if she doesn't like you.

Now it's not to say that a woman that at one time did not like you, would not change her mind if after a period of time away from her that you went through significant positive change.

It's possible to do this but you need distance, time, and improvement. But IMO this is the WRONG frame, you should be casting a broad net and go after women you find attractive that like you.... if you are trying to get just a particular woman you are setting yourself up for grief.

Those same women who you find attractive that like you, will add to and build your confidence from just talking to them. Whereas being stuck onto the one that you fell too far down her high score list will be eating your confidence. Go somewhere you are really wanted and appreciated, it pays.

 

[raider87]

Go somewhere you are really wanted and appreciated, it pays.

Good advice for life in general.