Smh - Date for Tonight Attempts Power Play, Throws Tantrum

[Stugots26]

Set up a date on Thursday for tonight via text, haven't talked to her since we set it up. While I'm at work:

Her: Hey
Me: Hi, what's up?
Her: How's it goin
Me: Pretty good, but pretty busy. I'll see you tonight.
Her: Where do you work
Me: See you at 8
Her: I just asked you a question
Me: I appreciate that, but can't chat right now. Ask me tonight. Looking forward to it.
Her: I have to cancel but good luck to you!

Seriously?

 

[Tictac]

You didn't leave her an opening to say why she called.

 

[guru1000]

Her: Hey

A "hey" text, unless accompanied by a confirmation or cancellation of the date, is a "feeling out" text.

Me: Hi, what's up?

Here you're not busy.

Her: How's it goin

If she unequivocally wanted to cancel, she would have done in this text or the prior. But she didn't. She is feeling you out and unsure at this point.

Me: Pretty good, but pretty busy. I'll see you tonight

Now you're busy. If you were busy, you needn't respond.

Her: Where do you work

"I'm unsure about tonight. I need greater comfort, rapport, or motivation."

Me: See you at 8

Here it ends.

Nothing lost. Next time, double-book.

 

[Stugots26]

I'm not responsible for pulling sh!t out of her. A grown woman at 32 years old can tell me what her problem is, and when I end it by confirming tonight, to ask where I work is just her attempting to take reins from me.

I said "Hi what's up?" to tee up a response in case she had something she need to say with respect to tonight. She wanted comfort, rapport, or motivation, but if she's booking time on my schedule the time has passed to get that from me, or she can do it tonight.

Most importantly, it showed me that she doesn't respect my time and boundaries.

 

[Stugots26]

@Stugots26 respond with 'you too'

Her hamster will fly off the wheel.
You'll see her at 8 tonight. Promise.

Not even worth it at this point. She's turned me off with this temper tantrum.

 

[guru1000]

Some girls need greater comfort. Some don't. Choose the latter if you're busy. But if you value your time, double-book.

 

[Æon]

I'm not doubting your prowess w women, but this is where a lot of guys miss out.

If we get turned off at every little thing women initially do, we'll never end up having any fun with them.

There's nothing wrong with playing the game for a while.

Give me her #. I'll gladly nail her pvssy shut tonight. ;-)

Totally agree. They do stupid ****. Both to test us and to save their egos. It's our job to laugh it off, pat them on the head and say "That's cute. Good for you."

 

[Stugots26]

It's our job to laugh it off, pat them on the head and say "That's cute. Good for you."

I had responded unfazed with "Does this approach ever actually work for you?" and haven't gotten a response. Ultimately I don't care.

It's not like I don't have a deep bench. It's just not worth my time to engage her any further, and to continue to text, to me, would be to implicitly tolerate this kind of ridiculous behavior. Let her date some other compliant chode and come to realize that he isn't quite so fulfilling.

 

[Yewki]

Pretty sure she was going to flake no matter what unless your job was more impressive than the other dude she was talking to. She was weighing her options. What a classless b*tch.

On the bright side you dodged a bullet. She filtered herself out for you.

 

[Fugitive]

She was probably nervous/excited about the date and needed a little re-assurance.

You said the right stuff it was just framed in an abrupt way which caused a stand-off. If you had responded by answering her question i.e. I work in a bank in New York then did the whole I'm busy lets carry this on later thing then most likely you would be banging her.

The follow up of "does this approach ever actually work" whilst a very potent remark, is an emotional response to her actions and just shows her it got to you.

Overall though I can see why you're not interested now as she has shown herself to be insecure and you'll be dealing with that constantly.

 

[Yewki]

She was probably nervous/excited about the date and needed a little re-assurance.

It seems to me she was just trying to extract information to determine value. The OP told her "Pretty good, but pretty busy. I'll see you tonight." Her response? "Where do you work?" lol. No small talk, straight to the point.

OP was a bit rude when he shut down her question with just "See you at 8" but she still persisted. "I just asked you a question" ... almost as if she had a clipboard with the names of a bunch of dudes, going down the list writing down their jobs to determine who was best.

 

[Fugitive]

^ That's possible but why would she set up a date with him if she is uncertain on his value? She must have valued him otherwise she wouldn't agree to a date. I think her ego was offended by him not answering her question!

 

[EyeBRollin]

Be vigilant with these hoes. You aren't obligated to answer anything. Texting the day of a date is a red flag always, unless she specifically texts "are we still on tonight?"

Try baiting her into the flake, if you don't have the guts to pre-emptively flake on her.

Set up a date on Thursday for tonight via text, haven't talked to her since we set it up. While I'm at work:

Her: Hey
Me: Hi, what's up?
Her: How's it goin
Me: Pretty good, but pretty busy. I'll see you tonight.

Right here I probably would have responded with something like:

Me: Good, busy @ work might be a bit late 2nite. If you beat me there, grab a seat at the bar.

This should force her hand. She'll either cancel right there, or confirm the date. If she cancels there, you just say ohh its cool np. The optics make it seem like you were busy anyway and don't care. Just based off your convo, you're texting more than she is. Whenever she hits you up, text the same or less back.

"Hey"
"Hey"

She has to be the one to initiate more convo out of you, because the convo was her idea.

 

[EyeBRollin]

^ That's possible but why would she set up a date with him if she is uncertain on his value? She must have valued him otherwise she wouldn't agree to a date. I think her ego was offended by him not answering her question!

Chicks double and triple book all the time. They also don't know how to say no, because a lot of guys freak out with a direct rejection.

 

[Fugitive]

^ Doesn't seem like the type of girl who has a problem with saying no in a direct rejection! If anything she got pissed that he wasn't dancing to her tune. Agree with you that the way she dropped him she must have plenty of options.

 

[LiveYourDream]

She wanted/expected him to stop what he was doing right away, to make her more important than whatever he was busy with, and to immediately treat her like 'the prize', according to her whim. When he didn't, she canceled to punish him.

 

[El Payaso]

What a spoiled brat. Delete her number and move on.

 

[Stugots26]

Thanks for the replies. Trusted my gut, dodged a bullet, onto the next. Another woman tomorrow night.

 

[guru1000]

No bullet. You didn't bang her. She owes you nothing. She needed more comfort and stronger game. You were unwilling (which is fine, though I would have made it a point to "break" her for the challenge of it). The end.

 

[_sideways_]

^ true...
But so much effort for what purpose? Another lay? An orbiter? A back up chick?

Her behavior isn't warranted on a stranger, a gf yes, maybe?
But this is a date. A date that is in the fun stage, not the who wears the pants stage.
Like someone else said.. Fighting or gaming about who is wearing the pants will leave your soul questioning if there are more feminine females out there.
THAT IS THE REAL POINT

we want femenine females...all the jousting with stronger girls is fine for sport regardless of their other attributes, but come night fall masculine men require feminine females.

She sounded bitchy to me. Da fuq was her problem anyway?