How to get her invest more?

[Arnzy]

Hi!
This "thing" with this girl has been going like seven months. She gets really hot feelings for me, we have sex couple of times and things like that and then she loses interest. After about a month, things start to get hot again and after some time she feels nothing. This cycle has happened 5-6 times. I can't play very alpha type because 1-2 times it has turned her off. She says that she falls in love through her ears.
Once she said that she hasn't invested anything and doesn't value me because of that. That was last time, when our "thing" ended. But we hooked up again, had amazing sex and she is interested again.
But i don't want to make this same mistake again. How to get her invest in me? I say sometimes that it makes me feel very good, when she text me something in the morning and then she does that. What are other things i could ask her do to, any good examples? We don't meet in casual way, only if it's "date", so it's a little bit more difficult. Any tips to get her invest by texting? May be serious talk about that she acts like she doesn't invest?

 

[EyeBRollin]

Hi!
This "thing" with this girl has been going like seven months. She gets really hot feelings for me, we have sex couple of times and things like that and then she loses interest. After about a month, things start to get hot again and after some time she feels nothing. This cycle has happened 5-6 times. I can't play very alpha type because 1-2 times it has turned her off. She says that she falls in love through her ears.

The cycle keeps happening because of what are you doing, not her. Don't listen to what she says she likes. She doesn't know what she likes; she's a woman.

Once she said that she hasn't invested anything and doesn't value me because of that. That was last time, when our "thing" ended. But we hooked up again, had amazing sex and she is interested again.
But i don't want to make this same mistake again. How to get her invest in me? I say sometimes that it makes me feel very good, when she text me something in the morning and then she does that. What are other things i could ask her do to, any good examples? We don't meet in casual way, only if it's "date", so it's a little bit more difficult. Any tips to get her invest by texting? May be serious talk about that she acts like she doesn't invest?

Yep, stop texting.

Let her come to you. Your value will increase. Let her do 100% of the contacting. When she does, make a date for her to come over. If she doesn't agree to come over, give her the run-around. You have to start turning her down. Make her come to you and **** your brains out. Over time, she will be the one wanting more.

Meet other women. This post smells of oneitis.

 

[Arnzy]

It's very hard to get her text first. May be it's good to do it slowly? Like saying that makes me very happy if you text me first... and same time slowly stop texting first. She says she likes to make me happy. What other things should i do?

 

[hockeyfreak79]

The cycle will continue, stop seeking validation from her just to make yourself happy. You don't need a fvcking good morning text to be happy!

If she hasn't asked for commitment after 6mo then she probably never will. Stop with this serious talk crap, that will push her away even more. This sounds like a friends with benefits? why the fvck are you here whining?

When your "thing" ended was that her decision? If it was then it's dead and you are just an orbiter getting laid occasionally until you are replaced. Get out there and start looking for new prospects, like eyes rolling said your oneitis is killing you.

 

[EyeBRollin]

It's very hard to get her text first. May be it's good to do it slowly? Like saying that makes me very happy if you text me first... and same time slowly stop texting first. She says she likes to make me happy. What other things should i do?

Why would she text you first when you're the one blowing up her phone?

 

[LiveYourDream]

This looks like a friends with benefits arrangement where you ended up catching feelings. Maybe it didn't start out that way, but thats what it looks like to me now. She just wants you for sex. You want more. If this girl wanted more with you it would have happened a long time ago.

If you can detach your feelings and expectations for more with her, than go ahead and enjoy sex with her once a month like you have or whenever she reaches out with the hots for you. No matter what, immediately start seeing other women. You have oneitis for this girl and you need to get past it. The sooner the better. She's never going to become the girl that's into you, the way you want her to be. It may be hard to hear. Better to face the truth now, than postpone it and waste your time waiting/hoping for her to change.

 

[RangerMIke]

This looks like a friends with benefits arrangement where you ended up catching feelings. Maybe it didn't start out that way, but thats what it looks like to me now. She just wants you for sex. You want more. If this girl wanted more with you it would have happened a long time ago.

Yep, you are a fvck buddy and you are more into her than she you. She likes you, but she will never fall for you, but likes the sex. You start getting too clingy... she pushes you away, you drift off, she gets curious, thinking maybe you're okay with FB status... then you hook up, and then you catch feelings she pushes back... and the cycle goes on.

There really is nothing you can do about this, if you can't keep yourself from falling for her you just need to tell her you can't see her anymore. Either that or learn to control your emotions and enjoy the relationship for what it is.

I have a FB and she's great one of my best friends. She'll drift off as she tries to make things work with other dudes, and when that fizzles, she'll come back for some ego boosting organisms, because I know her and she knows me. She knows I am not a relationship guy and would never try to make it work.

Great FB relationships are the best, BUT you have to be willing to let them go if thier find a relationship ready guy. You have to be genuinely happy for them when they leave.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

I did not read any of the above replies so pardon me if anyone has said this already:

It's her menstrual cycle. It tells her when she wants to **** cuz the next egg is gonna leave her body. Then when she's fresh, she doesn't care about you anymore. It's prolly cuz she's fvcking some other guy though.

 

[marmel75]

Hi!
This "thing" with this girl has been going like seven months. She gets really hot feelings for me, we have sex couple of times and things like that and then she loses interest. After about a month, things start to get hot again and after some time she feels nothing. This cycle has happened 5-6 times. I can't play very alpha type because 1-2 times it has turned her off. She says that she falls in love through her ears.
Once she said that she hasn't invested anything and doesn't value me because of that. That was last time, when our "thing" ended. But we hooked up again, had amazing sex and she is interested again.
But i don't want to make this same mistake again. How to get her invest in me? I say sometimes that it makes me feel very good, when she text me something in the morning and then she does that. What are other things i could ask her do to, any good examples? We don't meet in casual way, only if it's "date", so it's a little bit more difficult. Any tips to get her invest by texting? May be serious talk about that she acts like she doesn't invest?

Women don't invest in men who play the role of a woman in a relationship. They shake their head and stay with you for sex until they find a man who acts like a man in a relationship to replace you with.

How do you get her to invest? Play the male role in the relationship.

 

[Vivacity]

Improve your value, i.e., improve yourself physically (you can't change the way you are born and the way you look, but you do your best to look good, and that is all you can do), academically, career-wise, etc., so it is hard for most guys out there, who she could possibly see/meet, to reach the bar/heights you set. Let's face the blunt truth, we men are competing with each other. By improving your value, you are keeping other men away from your competition.

When she sees your value, then she will start investing in you.

 

[Trump]

It's very hard to get her text first. May be it's good to do it slowly? Like saying that makes me very happy if you text me first... and same time slowly stop texting first. She says she likes to make me happy. What other things should i do?

I wouldn't say "it makes me very happy if you text first." would just ask "why don't you text me first sometimes?" and see her response.

If she says "she likes to make you happy." you say "you are doing ok, but you have to kiss me a lot better and with more passion."

You can disconnect and eject and ignore and not push for the relationship, etc, but that's no fun. You got to be able to outwit her and have fun at the same time.

 

[DiegoSantori]

I did not read any of the above replies so pardon me if anyone has said this already:

It's her menstrual cycle. It tells her when she wants to **** cuz the next egg is gonna leave her body. Then when she's fresh, she doesn't care about you anymore. It's prolly cuz she's fvcking some other guy though.

Damn nature, you're cruel.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I wouldn't say "it makes me very happy if you text first." would just ask "why don't you text me first sometimes?" and see her response.

If she says "she likes to make you happy." you say "you are doing ok, but you have to kiss me a lot better and with more passion."

You can disconnect and eject and ignore and not push for the relationship, etc, but that's no fun. You got to be able to outwit her and have fun at the same time.

This whole website is around the premise for the most part you cannot "negotiate" more out of these babes, they have to want to do it based off their emotions. You can "attract" her to it, but that takes time if you let your attraction slip ( body, clothing, mannerisms, etc )...

A quicker way to get her to run harder to you, is pull way back, get busy and start doing things with other females. She will feel the void, and a lot of time they instinctively want to bang you when they can sense you may be laying with others to claim their territory.

 

[Trump]

This whole website is around the premise for the most part you cannot "negotiate" more out of these babes, they have to want to do it based off their emotions. You can "attract" her to it, but that takes time if you let your attraction slip ( body, clothing, mannerisms, etc )...

Are you kidding bro? You can negotiate ANYTHING with anybody, especially vunerable women who think they have the looks and personality of a movie star.

If we can't make a girls head spin by our words, we suck. You got to be able to outsmart, outwit, outclass, and make a girl fall in love with you and with your words, whether they are true or not. If you can outwit a 27 year girl, what are you going to in real life when people really try to screw over? Hand over your bank account information?

The girl specifically told the OP she falls in love with her ears. If he can't spit out some poetry junk to make her swoon, he has to educate himself a lot more. It's really not that hard, just READ more!

 

[Tictac]

"To gain more of someone else's attention, withdraw yours."

I forget who....

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Are you kidding bro? You can negotiate ANYTHING with anybody, especially vunerable women who think they have the looks and personality of a movie star.

If we can't make a girls head spin by our words, we suck. You got to be able to outsmart, outwit, outclass, and make a girl fall in love with you and with your words, whether they are true or not. If you can outwit a 27 year girl, what are you going to in real life when people really try to screw over? Hand over your bank account information?

The girl specifically told the OP she falls in love with her ears. If he can't spit out some poetry junk to make her swoon, he has to educate himself a lot more. It's really not that hard, just READ more!

In the end they go with their "feelings". So it won't be a one line "negotiation" to be where you want her to if she currently isn't feeling you. The "negotiation" will be based upon actions, in action, space, how you take care of yourself, what you do outside of her. That's all I was conveying.

If you are in a dead spot or low interest spot with her, It probably won't turn around easily and take some time.

 

[dude99]

Hi!
This "thing" with this girl has been going like seven months. She gets really hot feelings for me, we have sex couple of times and things like that and then she loses interest. After about a month, things start to get hot again and after some time she feels nothing. This cycle has happened 5-6 times. I can't play very alpha type because 1-2 times it has turned her off. She says that she falls in love through her ears.
Once she said that she hasn't invested anything and doesn't value me because of that. That was last time, when our "thing" ended. But we hooked up again, had amazing sex and she is interested again.
But i don't want to make this same mistake again. How to get her invest in me? I say sometimes that it makes me feel very good, when she text me something in the morning and then she does that. What are other things i could ask her do to, any good examples? We don't meet in casual way, only if it's "date", so it's a little bit more difficult. Any tips to get her invest by texting? May be serious talk about that she acts like she doesn't invest?

The answer is quite simple. You are one of this girls plates. She is telling you that you mean nothing to her

Walk away. You will know exactly what you mean to her when she has gone about 4 weeks and hasn't heard from you.

Rule of thumb : the one who cares the least is the one who controls the relationship. Right now that is her.

 

[Arnzy]

Thanks for all these answers. Actually it's really messed up story. At the beginning we were both each other rebounds. And she got back together with her ex some time ago. But we still hooked up and had sex. Their relationship just sucks. They fight all the time, her bf cheated her and so on. Her bf behaves quite bad with her.
She lost her feelings for me again like i expected. Also blocked her bf from everywhere. She is at the moment again in that phase while she doesn't care about anything, so it's pointless to stop texting, she just doesn't care. I've noticed that this phase happens when her life gets harder.
I try with other women too and i'm not obsessed. I just like sex with her and actually don't care so much about her. I don't want to walk away if i get so good sex. I just try to not fall into her.
Couple of times when she lost her interest, i just somehow got her to meet me and after sex she was again really into me. So perhaps i try to use this strategy again?
I know i ****** up with her but perhaps i could try and be very supportive and caring to her? It's not a bad idea if i don't care so much? May be it will work and then switch to alpha again? Once she had a friend who was very needy and i think she liked that.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Thanks for all these answers. Actually it's really messed up story. At the beginning we were both each other rebounds. And she got back together with her ex some time ago. But we still hooked up and had sex. Their relationship just sucks. They fight all the time, her bf cheated her and so on. Her bf behaves quite bad with her.
She lost her feelings for me again like i expected. Also blocked her bf from everywhere. She is at the moment again in that phase while she doesn't care about anything, so it's pointless to stop texting, she just doesn't care. I've noticed that this phase happens when her life gets harder.
I try with other women too and i'm not obsessed. I just like sex with her and actually don't care so much about her. I don't want to walk away if i get so good sex. I just try to not fall into her.
Couple of times when she lost her interest, i just somehow got her to meet me and after sex she was again really into me. So perhaps i try to use this strategy again?
I know i ****** up with her but perhaps i could try and be very supportive and caring to her? It's not a bad idea if i don't care so much? May be it will work and then switch to alpha again? Once she had a friend who was very needy and i think she liked that.

she's "ping ponging" between you and her bf or you her bf and another guy(s). The ones she starts to talk to the most she has the strongest connection to, then she switches off. Just feels like a bunch of emotional highs to her. Has you guys in a "rotation"?

 

[dude99]

Thanks for all these answers. Actually it's really messed up story. At the beginning we were both each other rebounds. And she got back together with her ex some time ago. But we still hooked up and had sex. Their relationship just sucks. They fight all the time, her bf cheated her and so on. Her bf behaves quite bad with her.
She lost her feelings for me again like i expected. Also blocked her bf from everywhere. She is at the moment again in that phase while she doesn't care about anything, so it's pointless to stop texting, she just doesn't care. I've noticed that this phase happens when her life gets harder.
I try with other women too and i'm not obsessed. I just like sex with her and actually don't care so much about her. I don't want to walk away if i get so good sex. I just try to not fall into her.
Couple of times when she lost her interest, i just somehow got her to meet me and after sex she was again really into me. So perhaps i try to use this strategy again?
I know i ****** up with her but perhaps i could try and be very supportive and caring to her? It's not a bad idea if i don't care so much? May be it will work and then switch to alpha again? Once she had a friend who was very needy and i think she liked that.

She has you on a string. Don't be available for this girl. Go cold. Date other women. You will be much happier.