BPD ex contacts me again

[SayWhat]

I got a message from her basically asking how I was. I replied all was good and out of friendliness asked how she was. She replied and said it was a long time she heard from me and how nice it was to hear from me, of course with the appropriate smilies.

I was planning on leaving it at that, to not reply at that message, but as you could have suspected shortly after I got another one asking more questions... It's quite obvious what she wants to achieve.

I'll leave it at that, I went through hell because of her, but learned a lot. Back in the old days I would have kept on replying. Some of you might remember the endless posts about the horrible break up, but thanks for getting me through it. It feels good to just say **** it and honestly don't care what she thinks about it.

 

[dude99]

Just ignore any future attempts on her part to suck you back onto her chaos.

 

[logicallefty]

Just ignore any future attempts on her part to suck you back onto her chaos.

I've got one doing this to me now too. She texted me a picture of something she saw at a flea market that she thought would look good in my living room. I was doing about 5 things at the time and I quickly without thinking too much replied "lol interesting". She texted me back this rant "What the hell is so funny. There is nothing funny about this. You don't have to be funny about everything". Immediately my head started a slight ache. I think she actually wanted to, as said above, 'suck me back onto her chaos'. These women are a lost cause. Pump, dump, and run at most. Or better yet, just run...

 

[dude99]

I've got one doing this to me now too. She texted me a picture of something she saw at a flea market that she thought would look good in my living room. I was doing about 5 things at the time and I quickly without thinking too much replied "lol interesting". She texted me back this rant "What the hell is so funny. There is nothing funny about this. You don't have to be funny about everything". Immediately my head started a slight ache. I think she actually wanted to, as said above, 'suck me back onto her chaos'. These women are a lost cause. Pump, dump, and run at most. Or better yet, just run...

Indeed. They are addicted to conflict. Do not waste any time on them. This example proves my point. She is trying pick a fight with you over a petty text.

 

[Infern0]

It must be BPD mating season (when isn't it) or something because mine crawled out of the woodwork today, 2 months into her latest "relationship" I've been down that road before so she's clearly looking for someone to cheat with. I ended up exchanging messages for an hour before I came to my senses and took my leave.

 

[El Payaso]

Block her. The more you reply, the more chances you give her to dig her hooks into you.

 

[mikey2012]

Why are you even replying? Block and forget. There is no upside with these psychopaths....Also note, she don't care about you, it's about them and attention. By replying they know they can still yank your chain, you and the others she has in her pocket.

 

[SayWhat]

I'm still wondering how I have to handle this? Due to circumstances I will see her tomorrow (there is nothing I can do about it). What will I say when she asks why I didn't answer?

I want to tell her the truth, but I feel that it gives her the satisfaction of her still having a hold on me. On the other hand, I want her to know what a b*tch she was, but that shows again the resentment...

 

[finality]

I'm still wondering how I have to handle this? Due to circumstances I will see her tomorrow (there is nothing I can do about it). What will I say when she asks why I didn't answer?

I want to tell her the truth, but I feel that it gives her the satisfaction of her still having a hold on me. On the other hand, I want her to know what a b*tch she was, but that shows again the resentment...

Tell her your life is better without her in it. Who cares how it comes across.

 

[SayWhat]

But is not replying on messages the same as the fact she still has a hold on me? Don't get me wrong, I don't want to answer, but I want her to make that fact clear (about my life better without her) and I don't know what the right way is to get it across.

Not answering tells me I'm making an effort to ignore her (and thus not over her). But then again answering and telling the truth also...

 

[finality]

But is not replying on messages the same as the fact she still has a hold on me? Don't get me wrong, I don't want to answer, but I want her to make that fact clear (about my life better without her) and I don't know what the right way is to get it across.

Not answering tells me I'm making an effort to ignore her (and thus not over her). But then again answering and telling the truth also...

Who cares. Let her think "she won". Your happiness shouldn't be based on some power chit with her.

Flip a coin and then don't give it another thought.

 

[SayWhat]

I've always been a very revenge based kinda guy. If someone has hurt me, I need to be able to rub some kind of pain back in their face. It's hard for me to just let stuff go. I need some kind of closure in the form of revenge...

I'll try it though.

 

[LiveYourDream]

Be bigger than revenge. Be respectful and indifferent. If you must speak with her, keep it short and simple. "I wish you the best. Life's moved on." The end. Any questions from her simply repeat, one more time at the most, and exit the interaction. There is nothing else to say or explain.

You wish her the best. Why not? It's healthier for you. Be indifferent. Be respectful. Be polite.
Life has moved on. Act like it. End the interaction and move on. Literally step away and engage your life without her, right there in front of her, for you.

 

[Infern0]

I'm still wondering how I have to handle this? Due to circumstances I will see her tomorrow (there is nothing I can do about it). What will I say when she asks why I didn't answer?

I want to tell her the truth, but I feel that it gives her the satisfaction of her still having a hold on me. On the other hand, I want her to know what a b*tch she was, but that shows again the resentment...

I've found the best way of dealing with mine is just to be polite and keep it moving, anything else just creates drama, which they feed off.

Just treat them like an old aquaintence that you don't have beef with but aren't really interested in engaging with. Basically polite but uninterested.

 

[Tictac]

But is not replying on messages the same as the fact she still has a hold on me? Don't get me wrong, I don't want to answer, but I want her to make that fact clear (about my life better without her) and I don't know what the right way is to get it across.

Not answering tells me I'm making an effort to ignore her (and thus not over her). But then again answering and telling the truth also...

Not answering shows that you DGAF. Except that you do. The only reason "she has a hold in you" is YOU.

You want 'revenge' like some 9-year old wannbe schoolyard bully.

 

[Lozboss]

I don't hang around here anymore- mainly because of threads like this.

Seeing experienced DJs who SHOULD know better still making the same rookie mistakes.

WHAT DO WE ALWAYS SAY: IGNORE + DELETE+BLOCK

Now for f*cks sake start putting it into practice. EXs, BPD or not, are part of your PAST. Replying gives them ATTENTION which is what they WANT.

/threadclosed

 

[Infern0]

Have to say guys I find it frustrating when some of you who have actually been through BPD girls and arrived at this site as broken AFC's, a few years later you have no time or tolerence for anyone going through what you went through.

I've seen guys who washed up here as spineless little jellyfish who were helped and guided through their recovery from one of those women, turn around and say "oh not this **** again, just man up" when someone new comments on their problem.

You aren't helping anyone, and if you really don't have any compassion to your fellow man i suggest you shut the hell up and leave it to the people who do, instead of acting superior and high and mighty. You'r projection of false ego and machismo isn't fooling anyone.

 

[17 shots]

I've always been a very revenge based kinda guy. If someone has hurt me, I need to be able to rub some kind of pain back in their face. It's hard for me to just let stuff go. I need some kind of closure in the form of revenge...

I'll try it though.

Ignoring her IS your revenge. She wants to be at peace with you. By ignoring her, your denying HER closure. And that will eat her up alive

 

[Speculator E]

I'm still wondering how I have to handle this? Due to circumstances I will see her tomorrow (there is nothing I can do about it). What will I say when she asks why I didn't answer?

I want to tell her the truth, but I feel that it gives her the satisfaction of her still having a hold on me. On the other hand, I want her to know what a b*tch she was, but that shows again the resentment...

If you want to date her, then you need to start reading books on BPD and learn how her disorder works. Note I said books and not the internet as much of what's out there on the internet is inaccurate information. Not to be wrong BPD are rough. But guys here saying BPD are psychopaths, tells you there's a lot of misinformation going around. Pyschopaths are sociopaths are a different personality disorder.

If you want a book suggestion to start off with I recommend this book:
http://www.amazon.com/When-Hope-Enough-Second-Edition-ebook/

I just read it and it had a more realistic portrayal of what BPD is like then what I've read on the internet.

 

[Speculator E]

Ignoring her IS your revenge. She wants to be at peace with you. By ignoring her, your denying HER closure. And that will eat her up alive

See, this is the type of comments I am talking about. Revenge? Why do you want revenge?