I'm intrested in my co worker ?

[PuffyPonny]

There's this guy at my work who just got hired 5 months ago. Initially, We hardly talked to one another and I was indifferent towards him. This all changed few weeks later when I ran into him in stairway-the first thing he asked was if I go to the gym, to which I replied yes and asked him why he was asking. He proceeded to tell that he saw me the previous day at the gym while he was on treadmill and I was on different machine -but wasn't sure if it was me and that I looked very familiar . I confirmed that he was indeed right. The funny thing is ,I didn't even notice him at the gym that day. After chatting briefly ,I came to conclusion that he variably visits that gym as me -He visits other locations .So it was mere coincidence that we ended up at the same gym that day. Similarly, I also use various locations .I've gone back to the same location few times but my gym schedules haven't coincident with his.

In addition,We work in completely unrelated departments.(we have very minimal work-related contact) However, we seem to run into each other walking in and out of conference rooms, hallways ,elavotors and staff rooms. He now always make it a point to smile ,ask how I'm doing .I see him see him around 1-3 times a week if I'm lucky.




There's no indication that he is anything towards me other than just-being a -pleasant friendly professional capacity but I'm curious about him, and therefore want to talk to him more, spend some time with him. For the past week, I've been trying to get his attention by talking to him more but I haven't been getting back any signs that he's romantically interested in me . I've tried to be around him more often. I ask him questions to prolong what he's talking about.He hasn't asked any personal questions about myself nor has he asked for my number. I try and look my prettiest for him (shiny hair, natural makeup, fitted clothes)... and no dice.Few days ago, he saw me eating a hamburger on my lunch break. Then when he ran into me upstairs , he said "hi' again and he brought up how I was eating a hamburger and how he wanted to grab it from me. Then today, when he saw me he was like" I made myself some hamburger yesterday when I got home because of you,LOL.I just can't tell if he only likes me as friend or romantically.


So is there any chance he might be interested in me? He said he is over 30 and he appears to be in his mid 30's.I want to find ways to ask him for a coffee happy hour .I know dating co workers is a bad idea but we don't directly work together and I will be leaving the company in a year to pursue another career when I finish College.Any advice?

 

[Tictac]

Ask him for that coffee date. You'll learn just about everything you want or need to know in half an hour.

 

[yungballa]

Be direct. You're the woman, so he'll have to advance and make moves on you. But I still think if you're interested in him, you should show him. Flirt with him, make eye contact, get his number, maybe hang out with him after work. Do things to show that you're interested in him; womanly things that will start making him think "Hmm, I think she likes me". It's like fishing. You're giving him the bait. If he doesn't like you, he won't take it. If he does, he'll take the bait.

If you're leaving soon and you two hardly work/see each other in the work place, I think it's fine if you're seeing him. If something unfortunate were to happen you'd be leaving anyways. Plus, you hardly see him, right?

Like Tictac said, ask him on that coffee date.

 

[Speculator E]

I'm currently dating a co-worker so I can give you some advice. First it sounds like you're a woman so I'll assume you are. Second I'm gonna assume he's not married yet and it's probably good for you to find out. When me and her were just talking I was always trying to be careful not to show too much of my feelings or do anything that seem like flirting. It's the work place and there's always the danger of sexual harassment. It makes me naturally less confident and bold then I would be outside of the workplace. So the walk around would be to send out very subtle hints. Him running you often. Him talking about the hamburger. Him smiling. Those sound like good signs. He's likely trying to give you hints and hoping to see if you're feeling the same too.

Now why do you want a coffee date. You two work together. Why not grab some lunch?

 

[Jordski]

Wait, woman asking for an advice on here? Cool..

 

[Asmodeus]

Why is a woman here on a "Men's Dating and Advice" and "Don Juan" forum asking for advice?
This forum should stay on focus. I am willing to allow women on here, and converse with them so long as this forum is about "Men's Dating Advice" and issues pertaining to men. This is the entire purpose of this forum.
I am in fact one of the most vocal proponents of having women on this forum to get a different perspective and totally support LiveYourDream, BeExcellent, and Penkitten who actually provide useful advice on the subject.

But when women begin to hijack the forum and make it about their issues, then I start to get peeved as this forum is very clear in its intention. If I went on a women's forum doing crap like this I would expect to get wrung out. So either the poster is a troll, or the poster is ignorant and completely ignoring the premise of this forum, or worse the poster knows the premise of this forum and decided to do this BS anyway and make this topic which has nothing to do with what this forum is about.

Nope, I will hold my tounge and not punish her for her ignorance... Instead I will ask her kindly, @PuffyPonny, please do not turn this forum into a women's issues forum as it is not what this place is about.

 

[PuffyPonny]

Yes I am female,thanks for your advice folks

 

[PuffyPonny]

@Asmodeous,I'm new on this forum so I wasn't sure which category would be suitable for my thread nor did
I thought it would be a big issue.

 

[Maximus Rex]

You should be temporarily banned until you provide proof that you are indeed a woman.

 

[Roni_88]

You should be temporarily banned until you provide proof that you are indeed a woman.

+ 1

 

[Tictac]

You should be temporarily banned until you provide proof that you are indeed a woman.

So should you.

 

[Skyline]

Why is a woman here on a "Men's Dating and Advice" and "Don Juan" forum asking for advice?
This forum should stay on focus. I am willing to allow women on here, and converse with them so long as this forum is about "Men's Dating Advice" and issues pertaining to men. This is the entire purpose of this forum.
I am in fact one of the most vocal proponents of having women on this forum to get a different perspective and totally support LiveYourDream, BeExcellent, and Penkitten who actually provide useful advice on the subject.

But when women begin to hijack the forum and make it about their issues, then I start to get peeved as this forum is very clear in its intention. If I went on a women's forum doing crap like this I would expect to get wrung out. So either the poster is a troll, or the poster is ignorant and completely ignoring the premise of this forum, or worse the poster knows the premise of this forum and decided to do this BS anyway and make this topic which has nothing to do with what this forum is about.

Nope, I will hold my tounge and not punish her for her ignorance... Instead I will ask her kindly, @PuffyPonny, please do not turn this forum into a women's issues forum as it is not what this place is about.

There is only one poster who I know would troll like this but he is long gone... He was very naughty.

The reason why this forum stands out among other forums, including women, is because of how open and direct it is. Not only do we discuss dating here but we also discuss politics, making money, advancing in your career, current events, and even how to have sex properly. Just life in general.

I would rather have women get advice from enlightened posters here than be slandered by PUA's and other feminist women with awful advice.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

This is what I'd do. (girl boy boy girl same difference). Make it a point to run into him before lunch, and already have a plan, and ask him along.

"Hey I was just about to head out to XX, wanna join me?"

How he responds will tell you whether you should pursue or not.

Try and report back.

(ignore the haters).

 

[PuffyPonny]

This is what I'd do. (girl boy boy girl same difference). Make it a point to run into him before lunch, and already have a plan, and ask him along.

"Hey I was just about to head out to XX, wanna join me?"

How he responds will tell you whether you should pursue or not.

Try and report back.

(ignore the haters).

Thank you

 

[Maximus Rex]

I'm going to tell you like I tell every other dude that poses this dumb ass question, don't mess with your coworkers.

 

[Asmodeus]

There is only one poster who I know would troll like this but he is long gone... He was very naughty.

The reason why this forum stands out among other forums, including women, is because of how open and direct it is. Not only do we discuss dating here but we also discuss politics, making money, advancing in your career, current events, and even how to have sex properly. Just life in general.

I would rather have women get advice from enlightened posters here than be slandered by PUA's and other feminist women with awful advice.

So it is fully allowed, and even encouraged? Ok, then... However forgive me if I was under the impression that the main objective of this forum was "Learn the Secrets of Meeting, Dating and Attracting Women!". But as you said various topics are discussed. This is not the first time a woman has come here asking for advice, the other previous time I told that one a similar thing. I will thus leave female posters asking for advice alone, and maybe even entertain them with some advice.

However, there is a parable... You put a frog in a pot of boiling water, and it jumps out. You put the frog in a pot of water and raise it degree by degree, little by little and the frog will sit in the pot not noticing the slight change in temperature until it boils. I think you understand what I am trying to say with this... If the door is open to giving women advice on relationships and it is encouraged, then what may be the result?

 

[Asmodeus]

Ok then, advice... Most women take no initiative to make advances on the man. Instead, as you sayd @PuffyPonny most women "send signals". It is like that episode on Mixology where the girls talk about picking up guys and all they do is crap like the "4 second stare" or the "look, and look away, look back" stuff. For guys like me this is obvious because I have learned to understand these signals (but then again I have studied women's behaviors). However, I think this kind of strategy is completely ineffective for women as the majority of men do not seem to fully understand the signals that women send as men and women operate differently. Case in point, this guy. Not all men make advances, some men have lower self esteem or have fears of rejection, I know this because I have helped a couple men who where like this.

You are going to need a bit of confidence to do what I suggest next. Confidence seems to be something you can work on, you seem to have trepidations to approach him. Remember this, rejection is better than regret. Say that to yourself before talking to him.

I suggest just finding some free time to hang out with him and talk. The coffee could be fine. Just talk to him one on one and gauge his interest level. If the two of you know each other then a simple "hello" followed by some small talk should be easy to engage. Talk to him In that conversation you should gauge first if he is in a relationship...Make it known to him first that you are single, drop it subtly in the conversation and ask him if he is. If he is single then you have no impediments. Do not talk about ex's or past relationships.
Then if he is open flirt with him. Keep your focus on him, on his eyes. Say a little compliment about him like. If he knows you are single, if he is single, and if he responds to flirts then bingo. If not then he is either not interested, gay, or worse he is a chump who is too afraid and has too low self-esteem to take initative on a girl who obviously likes him.

 

[marmel75]

So it is fully allowed, and even encouraged? Ok, then... However forgive me if I was under the impression that the main objective of this forum was "Learn the Secrets of Meeting, Dating and Attracting Women!". But as you said various topics are discussed. This is not the first time a woman has come here asking for advice, the other previous time I told that one a similar thing. I will thus leave female posters asking for advice alone, and maybe even entertain them with some advice.

However, there is a parable... You put a frog in a pot of boiling water, and it jumps out. You put the frog in a pot of water and raise it degree by degree, little by little and the frog will sit in the pot not noticing the slight change in temperature until it boils. I think you understand what I am trying to say with this...

Just view it as maybe we are helping one guy not have to deal with the BS most women put guys through and actually lays her cards on the table instead of trying to give "hints", which most guys are terrible at reading. Then the guy gets frustrated because he doesn't know what's going on, the girl gets frustrated because she thinks she's done all these things and the guy HAS to have figured it out, which usually he hasn't, and nothing gets accomplished. Two people both fvck themselves over when it never needed to get to that point if both would have just been straight with the other.

OP, the asking him to lunch is a very good tip...If he accepts make sure to let him know how he seems cool and you'd like to get to know him a little better outside work. At that point, you've done enough and if he doesn't go for it, either he isn't interested or is so dense that he's not worth it and likely will be a terrible lay, lmao.

And OP, I bet you are more than curious. I'm willing to bet you've fantasized about him taking you to an empty stairwell/office etc at work and letting him have his way with you.

 

[PuffyPonny]

I'm going to tell you like I tell every other dude that poses this dumb ass question, don't mess with your coworkers.

I'm not asking why I shouldn't date a co worker.I've already established in my OP that have little, if any, work related interaction--Plus, I'll be leaving the company in a year or so. I have clearly countered justifications as to why I decided to pursue it.So please save that for someone who cares-I find no value in your advice

 

[Jordski]

Op are you hot? Lol