Two Strange, Similar Flakes In A Row

[dingmachine]

Pulled numbers from two different girls I met while barhopping solo over the past month. GIRL A and I made out at the bar. Couple days later, we text back and forth and talked on the phone for half an hour (she called me first). 3/4's of the way through the call, she asks me if I "f*ck random people." I jokingly told her that I don't go around knocking on my neighbors' doors asking them if they want to bone. She laughed, and we talked for a minute or so after that before I told her I had to go. She got an attitude with me on the phone (presumably because I wasn't jetting up to her house to f*ck this random person), but it was 11 p.m. and I'm not her lap dog so I deleted the number and moved on.

GIRL B and I met in a club and we go back to her place. She blows me, I stay over because I wasn't going to drive in the state I was in, and I leave the next morning. I text her a couple days later to hang out that week, and she gives me the standard "I'm going out of town" line. I don't respond, delete the number, and move on.

I met both girls in the same week, and it's been approximately 2 weeks since I talked to either of them.

Last week, GIRL A texts me, gives me the flimsy excuse that some friend mentioned the bar we met at and that made her think of me. She tells me she would "really enjoy" seeing me again, so I set something up for Saturday afternoon. I wait two days, and text her my availability. No response. I don't text her on Saturday, having already made other plans when I didn't hear from her the day before.

Friday night, GIRL B texts me at 3 a.m. Quote: "Hey, I don't know if saying I was going out of town sounded uninterested, but I'd really love to hang out with you again. If you're down, obviously." I wait until the following morning and text, "It's been a crazy week. Don't sweat it we'll figure something out."

Today, my schedule opens up for Wednesday (work event got cancelled), and I hit GIRL B back with, "[Work event] got cancelled this week. Hang out with me on Wednesday." She also did not respond.

What happened?

 

[RangerMIke]

You are waiting too long to get back with women when they reach out to you. They see this as game playing, or disinterest, and they are playing back. Real men do not play games. When a woman reaches out to you, try to make a date... do it as soon as you are available to get back with them. Don't drop whatever you are doing but when you have time to call them back, do so. It's the respectful thing to do.

For Girl A you waited two days to confirm your date, this is weak feminine behavior, men know what they want and go after it. Girl B: you waited til the next day, again... this is too long. She is thinking, and rightly so, that it only takes 5 minutes to respond to a text, so you are playing games.

 

[RoscoeClash]

Girl B: you waited til the next day, again... this is too long. She is thinking, and rightly so, that it only takes 5 minutes to respond to a text, so you are playing games.

But I'd like to counter that the Girl sent the text at 3 AM...honestly if he sent it the following morning, that's literally like 7-8 hours later at most. That doesn't seem so bad to me. Plus, I've seen a lot of advice on here where if girls take forever (like a day) to get back to you on a text that you should take the same amount of time.

 

[Yewki]

RangerMike is pretty much on point. He overly played girl A. He should have responded the same day preferably within an hour or two. He waited 2 days and it's obvious to her he's being a b*tch.

His timing with girl B was fine, but his message was not,

It's been a crazy week. Don't sweat it we'll figure something out.

He's basically doing the same thing he did with girl A... stop over gaming. Get to the point!

 

[dingmachine]

Let me see if I understand this correctly: Girls can arbitrarily take their time, hours or days in some instances, to respond to my text messages and calls - but when I do it, it's an error in my game? It makes me look like the bi*ch? And girls wonder why guys don't want to get married to them. This is the most ridiculous double standard I've ever heard.

 

[marmel75]

Let me see if I understand this correctly: Girls can arbitrarily take their time, hours or days in some instances, to respond to my text messages and calls - but when I do it, it's an error in my game? It makes me look like the bi*ch? And girls wonder why guys don't want to get married to them. This is the most ridiculous double standard I've ever heard.

Its unfortunately true in a lot of cases unless the chick is head over heels for you. The problem is these women, even the ugly ones, have far, far more options than all but the hottest model type guys. SO if you wait too long to respond, unless she is going to drop everything for you, someone else "walked through the door" so to speak.

In truth, you didn't really do anything wrong with Girl A. I would have probably tried to set a date with girl B up ASAP...she basically is telling you "I want the D" and your response is "yeah, that's cool...whatever..." Made it sound like you would rather be playing Call of Duty on the PS4 and talking trash to your buddies via headset than railing her...so she probably felt kinda "dissed" because she basically put herself out there for you and you gave her a fairly disinterested answer. I'd wait a week or so and then re-initiate with both and se if you can't get one or both of them back out.

 

[Yewki]

Let me see if I understand this correctly: Girls can arbitrarily take their time, hours or days in some instances, to respond to my text messages and calls - but when I do it, it's an error in my game? It makes me look like the bi*ch?

Being a man involves taking charge and getting the job done. If they act like a b*tch and act ambiguous or delay messages for days, shrug it off and take the high road. Don't be a b*tch in return, otherwise nothing will get done.

 

[EyeBRollin]

If it is easier for you, just don't text her back until you know exactly when and where you want to take them. The more steps you put between her reaching out and setting the definite date, the less likely it is to happen. The beauty of texting is that you can take your time. Had you responded with a definite time and place, she would have taken it more seriously.

Don't make excuses. Be direct and get right to the point. Do this every time a woman reaches out to you.

 

[RoscoeClash]

Being a man involves taking charge and getting the job done. If they act like a b*tch and act ambiguous or delay messages for days, shrug it off and take the high road. Don't be a b*tch in return, otherwise nothing will get done.

But can't that also show neediness? For instance, Girl takes 1 day to return text, you reply an hour later, Girl takes ANOTHER day to reply to text, then you reply an hour later....makes it seem like you are prioritizing her greater than she's prioritizing you.

 

[dingmachine]

I'm still trying to square this circle. If the proper attitude is to be aloof and indifferent, what point does it serve to jump as soon as these girls reach out?

In any event, wouldn't it have been just as counterproductive to wait until it was convenient for me to set up a date with Girl B? I couldn't do anything the day she texted me, and I only found out today that I would be free this week to meet up. So, she'd have sent a text expressing strong interest and I'd have waited two days to go, "Sure. I'm free Wednesday night."

I would have probably tried to set a date with girl B up ASAP...she basically is telling you "I want the D" and your response is "yeah, that's cool...whatever..." Made it sound like you would rather be playing Call of Duty on the PS4 and talking trash to your buddies via headset than railing her...

This is actually exactly what I was trying to get across. I tried to make definite plans to meet up 2 weeks ago, she responds with the standard "I'm going to be out of town" (which I read as a blowoff), and circles back at 3 in the morning after a week of radio silence? I'm not her errand boy. I wasn't waiting by the phone for her to text me. And I'm not going to jump at the chance to meet up with her when she was clearly drunk and/or struck out after a night of partying and was looking for some validation.

The more I think about it, the more I think that's what was going on here. I hard next'ed these girls, and they probably weren't used to that. They were very attractive, and I live in a city awash in chumps who put women on a pedestal if they so much as smile at them. Either way, these girls are being sent to the trash bin. Ain't nobody got time for their head games, and I'm pulling a number every week. On to the next.

 

[marmel75]

This is actually exactly what I was trying to get across. I tried to make definite plans to meet up 2 weeks ago, she responds with the standard "I'm going to be out of town" (which I read as a blowoff), and circles back at 3 in the morning after a week of radio silence? I'm not her errand boy. I wasn't waiting by the phone for her to text me. And I'm not going to jump at the chance to meet up with her when she was clearly drunk and/or struck out after a night of partying and was looking for some validation.

The more I think about it, the more I think that's what was going on here. I hard next'ed these girls, and they probably weren't used to that. They were very attractive, and I live in a city awash in chumps who put women on a pedestal if they so much as smile at them. Either way, these girls are being sent to the trash bin. Ain't nobody got time for their head games, and I'm pulling a number every week. On to the next.

That's fine, but then why are you on here asking what to do? The difference between banging a chick and having her turn into something long term, FWB, fvck buddy or LTR, or getting one date and never seeing her again, sometimes hinge on taking advantage of the opportunity when it comes your way.

What is your goal here? To bang the chick or to "show her what a man I am"? If its the former, take advantage of the opportunity when it presents itself, you may not get another chance, women can be fickle. If it's the latter then by all means do what you do.

Less analyzing, more action. Noone ever got laid from analyzing. People get laid from action everyday.

 

[dingmachine]

That's fine, but then why are you on here asking what to do?

To recognize mistakes in my game when I can't figure them out on my own. Simple as that. That way, when an actual Good Girl comes along (and not one who flakes out when they don't get a text message response in the timely manner they desire, nor one who is flaky in the daylight but intentional at 3 AM), I won't make the same mistake.

What is your goal here? To bang the chick or to "show her what a man I am"? If its the former, take advantage of the opportunity when it presents itself, you may not get another chance, women can be fickle. If it's the latter then by all means do what you do.

The latter. I've had enough SNLs and dead-end relationships in my lifetime to know when it's best to cut bait and throw them away. I'd rather leave them with the impression that I'm not some doormat they can pull their standard routine on and get away with it than get them into bed.

 

[Yewki]

But can't that also show neediness? For instance, Girl takes 1 day to return text, you reply an hour later, Girl takes ANOTHER day to reply to text, then you reply an hour later....makes it seem like you are prioritizing her greater than she's prioritizing you.

Responding after an hour is fine. Even if she waits a day. There's no specific "right" answer, everyone's life and schedule is different. The important part is your mentality and what you say.

With that said, the following timing is generally "wrong,"

1) Responding immediately (i.e. <5 min) - shows you're desperate without much going on
2) Waiting an unreasonable amount of time to respond (i.e. days) - shows you're immature and playing games

 

[RangerMIke]

Let me see if I understand this correctly: Girls can arbitrarily take their time, hours or days in some instances, to respond to my text messages and calls - but when I do it, it's an error in my game? It makes me look like the bi*ch? And girls wonder why guys don't want to get married to them. This is the most ridiculous double standard I've ever heard.

Yes.

Real men get to the point they don't beat around the bush they go after what they want. In her eyes you are acting like a woman when you play games like that and you are not masculine. That's the way it is, if you don't like it just stop dating women and go MGTOW. Nothing wrong with that, your die a richer man.

Don't act like a woman and don't expect women to suddenly start acting like men.

 

[EyeBRollin]

But can't that also show neediness? For instance, Girl takes 1 day to return text, you reply an hour later, Girl takes ANOTHER day to reply to text, then you reply an hour later....makes it seem like you are prioritizing her greater than she's prioritizing you.

No. You're way overthinking, and this is why I hate texting.

Pick up the phone, call and ask her on a date. If she gives any answer other than yes, she is not interested.