Is it possible to date a Borderline Personality Disorder co worker?

[hockeyfreak79]

You should have her move in with you too!

 

[Tictac]

Another case of BPD meaning 'she doesn't like me so she's diagnosable'.

SpecE has been harassing this woman at the office for weeks if not months and imagining that she's into him. He's been hauled into HR once already yet he still stalks her.

Behavior has consequences @Speculator E. Welcome to yours.

 

[Maximus Rex]

Another case of BPD meaning 'she doesn't like me so she's diagnosable'.

SpecE has been harassing this woman at the office for weeks if not months and imagining that she's into him. He's been hauled into HR once already yet he still stalks her.

Behavior has consequences @Speculator E. Welcome to yours.

So you actually believe this fanasty and b.s.?

 

[Tictac]

So you actually believe this fanasty and b.s.?

Good point Max.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Good luck OP you gonna need it

This dude was passing his "woman" around and didn't even know it.

 

[Speculator E]

OP, this is the exact scenario that happened to me

Well, I didn't even know about BPD at the time, let alone that she had it, but I met a full on waif-bpd at work

At first she was just this coworker who had depression and seemed sad a lot of the time, so i used to just tell her jokes and try and have a laugh and that, she ended up idealizing me. I didn't want to go there because she was a co-worker but she seemed really nice and caring, and she chased me for months so eventually i gave in.

When the devaluation happened, she very, very nearly got me fired. I had built a good reputation at work and was seen as someone who was going to go far in the company. After what she put me through I had a double whammy of disciplinary action laid upon me for her acting out, which i got blamed for too, and post that I had a nervous breakdown due to her emotionally torturing me for weeks. (afc on my part but i didn't know better at the time)

Anyway my rep at work is ruined, I only managed to keep my job by going over my (female) bosses head to her (male) boss, who was actually very understanding of my situation and quietly managed my ex out of the company.

I still have my job but i will NEVER be promoted now, I understand that, and i'll be getting a new job somewhere when it becomes available.

BPD's should never be trifled with, ever. But if you absoloutley have to make sure she doesn't know where you live or work, and certainly that she isn't a coworker

Get out of the relationship as soon as you can, in the nicest way you can (grey rock technique)

You won't though, you are too far in, the destruction is on it's way

Yes, this is very similar to my situation. Right now I can't use the grey rock technique. Currently, I've been ordered not to communicate with her otherwise I will be fired. So I'm in no contact with her right now. She has already started her pull/idealization stage.

 

[Speculator E]

So you actually believe this fanasty and b.s.?

TicTax does not work with me so therefore he does not know the full story or even part of the story. Therefore his theory is based more on fantasy then fact. Seriously man, get a girlfriend.

 

[Speculator E]

Start this now. Never waver. Become a gray rock to her, nothing more. Read this article if you are not familiar. (Insert BPD for psychopath where appropriate.) Going gray rock will lead her to disengage from you, with as little drama as possible, while having her believe she is in control and leaving you, thus not triggering her abandonment issues. You are not powerless. You have choices. Go gray rock and get your life back. Read the article and implement it, starting now. http://www.lovefraud.com/2012/02/10/the-gray-rock-method-of-dealing-with-psychopaths/

Edit: Be aware that going gray rock, as it is called, allows one to exit more effectively than going No Contact, with a BPD. They are not the same. Understand that despite one's preference to just be done and cut contact, No Contact is not necessarily the wisest and most effective choice of how to disengage with certain personality disorders.

I definitely agree with you that No Contact is likely to be an atomic bomb then a solution. BPD is based on a fear of abandonment. No contact will just trigger her abandonment issue and the hate/devaluation cycle will begin. Only it will be set to the Maximus Rex. (Joke) Get it?

 

[Tictac]

TicTax does not work with me so therefore he does not know the full story or even part of the story. Therefore his theory is based more on fantasy then fact. Seriously man, get a girlfriend.

You have started three threads about your craziness. And through all of them decided that you were the smart guy and knew better than every poster that tried to help you.

You are soon to be the smartest guy in the unemployment line as a result.

I have a beautiful, sane number 1 plate and three other women that I see.

You stalk a woman at work, call her BPD when she tells you to stay the f*ck away from her and wonder why she's getting you fired.

Get a life Specky.