They are into me cause of personality and not looks! That hurts!

[summersky]

Hi everyone,

i would really like to discuss that topic because its really something that bothers me. Many girls I met that had high interest and seemed to be really into me (like told me that they love me and want a relationship, calling all the time, bla bla), didnt seem to be attracted to me physically that much. I know I got an attractive personality but I look just average and too young for my age.

Some girls were really attached to me but I noticed I wasnt really what they would call "hot". One girl I was dating said with other words: "looks arent everything, I like your personality and youre so fun to be with, the Sex was the best I ever had. I think youre handsome but they are other men that I find more handsome than you! Guess thats just human!" After I am hearing something like that I immediately loose interest and dump her.

Me for example, I am only choosing girls that are really close to my ideal physical type. Of course not 100% perfect but when love joins the high physical attraction, then that woman becomes the most beautyful woman on earth. No matter how hot another woman is, I never see any woman that I would say is hotter than her.

Maybe the girls were telling me that because they didnt really love me, i dont know!!!

Some girls were telling me that they prefer really handsome guys but they really like my personality so they dont care. And when I am looking at their ex-boyfriends, I see some male-model lookalikes. And I am asking myself, why the f*ck are they with me then. I know women dont care as much about looks but f*ck I want a girl, that is looking at me and feels that I am totally her type. I want a girl, to that I am the most handsome man in the world. Like many girls were to me, that I dated.

After I hear that I immediately break off things cause I am scared as f*ck that she gets out of the relationship as soon as she meets one guy with great personality AND looks. And cause its just a matter of time, I leave cause I dont want to get hurt.

It just pisses me off so much that a girl is into me but doesnt find me as physically attractive as other men.

What do you think about that?? I personally think that you should be with someone who is really near your ideal type. So you dont look around and telling your partner how they are others out there that are more handsome! And no, I dont believe there will always be more handsome people - not if you love your girlfriend/boyfriend..

Regards!

 

[MrWood]

its true. I dont think I am hot, and I've really had nothin but HB8 or better in my life.
Nearly all have said it dont matter... However, I am very good in the sack.

 

[Who Dares Win]

A girl telling a guy that he is not that hot but has a great personality that they enjoy is no different than a guy telling a girl that he doesnt find her particularly interesting or clever but likes her body.

They usually get offended and leave but apparently cant understand that it works both ways altought the other way around.

Anyway Im average to ugly probably, I had my share of hot girls but deep down just like you I knew there were hotter guys around which prevented me to invest too much in them.

But being honest, its not exactly their fault for us not being hot, we just got a bad hand when we sit at the table.

Its annoying when you cant find the bad one and there is no one to be mad at.

 

[MrWood]

we also dont wear makeup

 

[l_e_g_e_n_d]

I've dated models with no substance and attractive-enough ("less attractive") women with substance. I tend to like the less attractive women more as they bring more to the table overall. While I might state on occasion to the less attractive women that I have dated models, I would never overtly state I dated better looking women. That's a decision founded on emotional intelligence (EI).

These women you refer to lack EI. They would not leave you because they have dated or will find better-looking men. But, do you really want an LTR with a woman who has no/little EI?

 

[KingBeef]

I wouldn't lose sleep thinking over these women. You have a great personality but possess below average to mediocre looks I assume? If it concerns you then fix it. I don't know what kind of shape you're in but try to be in the best shape possible for a slim face and update yourself look and see what happens... Not difficult at all...

 

[phillies]

Don't even sweat it. Looks don't matter.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Don't even sweat it. Looks don't matter.

No they do. Looks raise someones attraction thru their visual. Raise your looks so that you look very good naked and hot to the females.

 

[Alvafe]

if a woman told me that I would just drop it, and i'm with you for you body only

 

[bmp2cpm]

Women are hardwired to fall in love with a man because of his resources and resource potential.

Looks are basically genetic resource for the few times in her life she is procreating.

Personality is a resource of a sort as well.

But really, looks and personality are not a big deal. A woman will let you know when you have the specific resource package she is looking for.

Worrying about a single subset of a resource is a waste of time, if you ask me.

 

[MrWood]

i am very average, I score hot chicks, always.
They all say it is personality first, and great sex second.

 

[BeExcellent]

One girl I was dating said with other words: "looks arent everything, I like your personality and youre so fun to be with, the Sex was the best I ever had.

Do you realize what an enormous compliment that is?

So girls are telling you that your looks don't matter because you are such a cool person and a great lover that they are happy with you as you.

So this is your ego talking as well as your insecurity in your own head. Looks are only one piece of the puzzle. Obviously you should be in good shape and as fit as you can be... but: You have to kill your ego and your insecurity. Girls are attracted to you, so embrace that and quit seeing yourself as somehow "less than". Be you & do you.

Own your sexual confidence and let go of your ego driven worry about your face or whatever. You'll be even more attractive once you release that insecurity.

Here's another thing to keep in mind (from a woman's view). Sexy and good looking are two different things. If you have to pick between the two SEXY is always the best choice.

 

[phillies]

Do you realize what an enormous compliment that is?

So girls are telling you that your looks don't matter because you are such a cool person and a great lover that they are happy with you as you.

So this is your ego talking as well as your insecurity in your own head. Looks are only one piece of the puzzle. Obviously you should be in good shape and as fit as you can be... but: You have to kill your ego and your insecurity. Girls are attracted to you, so embrace that and quit seeing yourself as somehow "less than". Be you & do you.

Own your sexual confidence and let go of your ego driven worry about your face or whatever. You'll be even more attractive once you release that insecurity.

Here's another thing to keep in mind (from a woman's view). Sexy and good looking are two different things. If you have to pick between the two SEXY is always the best choice.

This.

 

[Dgwizdal]

It's not about being good looking; it's about looking good. Get fit, dress sharp, get some color, whiten your teeth, take care of yourself and that is all you need in the looks department unless you're hideous slob. Be the best physical version of yourself and the rest is up to you.

 

[Reykhel]

i am very average, I score hot chicks, always.
They all say it is personality first, and great sex second.

I have to agree with that. I've seen it too often. I've seen the mind set score.

.....and no, I wish I was an ugly guy with a huge personality, but no, unfortunately I've had
the looks and had to work on my game

 

[phillies]

I have to agree with that. I've seen it too often. I've seen the mind set score.

.....and no, I wish I was an ugly guy with a huge personality, but no, unfortunately I've had
the looks and had to work on my game

I think good looking guys have it easy when young, like as kids, when game isn't required and then they get complacent as they get older.

 

[Reykhel]

I think good looking guys have it easy when young, like as kids, when game isn't required and then they get complacent as they get older.

I get better as I age. What you talking about?

I still use game in all areas of life

 

[phillies]

I get better as I age. What you talking about?

I still use game in all areas of life

People who are not good looking can't rely on there looks, so they have to compensate for it.

I think about it, when young people are good looking they're more accepted with out putting forth much effort. This is actually a pretty common theory. You said yourself you had to work on your game and acknowledged some people don't.