Reprecussions of Forcing Exclusitivity

[LiveYourDream]

I'm going no contact, but I don't think I am learning from this experience.

It seems you chose to prove yourself correct, on the 'not learning' part.

The conversation was that she felt that I compromised her 'boundaries' by seeing other women. Then she apologized for that (which I wanted all along.)

Does your ego feel better now?

I never mentioned exclusivity.

What is it exactly you are doing in your next statement then?

I just told her that if we were exclusive, I wouldn't see other women

You believe that is not "mentioning exclusivity"?

Sometimes, you need to accomplish the goal you have set out to do, regardless of anything. Even if the objectives have changed.

What EXACTLY is the goal, you believe you NEED to accomplish, regardless of anything?

 

[jdb]

After 5 days of being ghost on my end, I asked her to dinner Sunday. She asked if she should head to my place or meet up at the venue.

As she is approaching 30, I think her biological time clock is telling her to 'make-up' as she might have perceived me as a viable partner. We met up and she was at my place later that night. She asked if I still wanted her as a GF, to which I agreed.

Anyways, now that I have relational sh!t out of the way, I can focus much more on my career and defining my purpose in life. Thanks for the support guys!

 

[LiveYourDream]

She asked if I still wanted her as a GF, to which I agreed.

Anyways, now that I have relational sh!t out of the way, I can focus much more on my career and defining my purpose in life.

She finally agrees to be your girlfriend and you think suddenly you have the "relational sh!t out of the way," so you can focus more on other things now? I am not sure what fairytale you imagine, but your "relational sh!t," as you call it, has just gotten started. Her finally agreeing to be you GF wasn't the end of it, as you seem to think. No, that was just you and her passing the starting gate, into a whole new level. There is no BF/GF relationship without ongoing "relational sh!t," and related maintenance of such. Don't kid your self expecting otherwise.

Somehow expecting to have more free time, now that you have added a GF to your life, is just as mistaken. Keep your priorities in order.

For the priorities you mentioned, here is my recommendation:
Defining your life purpose-- priority number one.
Career-- priority number two
Girlfriend-- priority number three.

 

[ubercat]

I've seen a lot of posts on threads saying the rules are a waste of time i.e DJ Bible. I think people are missing the point the Bible is DJ 101 and if guys followed at least that they wouldn't be messing their lives up. It's like when you are learning to box you drill the jab the cross the uppercut etc. Then you learn them in combination. Then you learn them when moving. And progress through sparring to real fights.

But here s the key point guys.

When a pro boxer loses a couple of fights the trainer checks to see they don't have technical Weaknesses. So The Fighter goes back to training the jab the uppercut...

Everyone has moments of weakness and makes rookie mistakes the rules aren't a map they're just a compass. And if you happen to be in the 5% of badass Naturals good for u but don't fail to understand the value of training wheels for the other guys.

 

[Desdinova]

1) She stayed in a 2 year relationship in the past, even though she checked out 2 month into it. 7 years single and I am her second sex partner.

This is the part that stuck out to me. This means that her first BF fvcked her hard emotionally. He's at the very top of her high score list and no man has even come close to matching him. When women get fvcked hard emotionally, the bar is raised and they find it extremely difficult to move onto other men. Some women will go crazy and fvck for the sake of having sex, and some will choose to withhold everything. This woman falls into the latter.

As she is approaching 30, I think her biological time clock is telling her to 'make-up' as she might have perceived me as a viable partner.

Take out the word "partner" and replace it with "sperm donor". If you end up with this chick, your only purpose will be to provide her with sperm for a child and money to raise it. She doesn't want or need your love. She needs to satisfy her craving for children.

The only man she will even consider staying with is the guy she was with for two years. I don't buy what she said about checking out 2 months into it. She was addicted to whatever drama he brought to the table, and so she stayed with him. The only reason she's sticking around with you is because you're an emotional fvck up, and that is bringing some drama into her life... Oh yeah, and let's not forget the sperm donor part.

This woman is bad news, period. You also need to learn how to interact with women. Go to www.donjuanbible.com and read, read, read.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

What the hell did I just read.

 

[nolesfan]

After reading through all of this, you really should have read the bible before posting this stuff, so much of your actions and thought processes contradict what it means to have a true Don Juan mindset.....the way I see it, you NEED a girl to make you who you are.....every one of your issues reads as the workings of someone who will continue to go through life letting women of all people dictate your worth....I suggest that you put some serious work into yourself before you get into a relationship, but since you are already in one by the looks of it, good luck bro

 

[jdb]

I guess you guys are right. I'm simply tired of going out and meeting new women. The dates seem cumbersome after a while. After getting a taste of what a good chick is again, I chose to savour in that mindset. Whether it works out or not, I'm strong enough to move on.

My brother told me years ago regarding me going out and banging...'why don't you get back with your ex? That way you have a home plate and focus on your career' I thought he was gay for saying that, but the countless hours of courting women that eventually led nowhere made me re-evaluate my life. Coming from a guy that made 10x as much as I did, his quote stuck with me - get women out of the way and you will see the more important things in life. Life isn't about chasing tail - even if they are the ones that come to you.

 

[jdb]

Everything is going great, perhaps she is too naive to realize my past fvckups. Or...there is no magic formula to get a woman interested in you FROM THE START.

I suppose you are right. She could be at home patiently waiting for him to confess his love and bare his soul for her.

She did that, everything is going great given my past AFC. What does that tell you?

 

[jdb]

This is the part that stuck out to me. This means that her first BF fvcked her hard emotionally. He's at the very top of her high score list and no man has even come close to matching him. When women get fvcked hard emotionally, the bar is raised and they find it extremely difficult to move onto other men. Some women will go crazy and fvck for the sake of having sex, and some will choose to withhold everything. This woman falls into the latter.



Take out the word "partner" and replace it with "sperm donor". If you end up with this chick, your only purpose will be to provide her with sperm for a child and money to raise it. She doesn't want or need your love. She needs to satisfy her craving for children.

The only man she will even consider staying with is the guy she was with for two years. I don't buy what she said about checking out 2 months into it. She was addicted to whatever drama he brought to the table, and so she stayed with him. The only reason she's sticking around with you is because you're an emotional fvck up, and that is bringing some drama into her life... Oh yeah, and let's not forget the sperm donor part.

This woman is bad news, period. You also need to learn how to interact with women. Go to www.donjuanbible.com and read, read, read.

I don't think her ex bf was able to screw her over emotionally. As ****y as it sounds, I don't think she thinks her previous bf is a viable partner. An yes, I'm that emotional ****up that she goes after.

 

[Desdinova]

I don't think her ex bf was able to screw her over emotionally.

It's not about screwing her over emotionally, it's about screwing with her emotions. Women like their emotions rocked to make their lives interesting, and this guy did a number on her.

You have to realize that women aren't completely satisfied when they're happy 100% of the time. Happiness is the man's goal, not the woman's. Women want to feel excitement as opposed to happiness, and having their emotions bounced around all over the place is exciting for them. That's what this guy did, and it caused her a lot of excitement.

I don't think she thinks her previous bf is a viable partner.

For women, it's not about who's a viable partner. It's about how that partner makes her feel. Women will pass up a man who's a good provider, emotionally stable, and common interests for a man who makes her feel an influx of emotional excitement. Women don't function on logical things like having a good man. They function on what their emotions do.

 

[jdb]

I got drunk last night and we spoke for 3 hours. I don't remember much, but the lackluster text responses from my 'gf' showed that it was ugly.

I resorted back to my beta ways when I found out I 'had' her. What's funny is that I only talk for hours with her when I was drunk...at night before sleep. I know I should drink less, that's what I will be working on.

This thread will be my second field report journal, but this time, it will be about a relationship I obviously fvcked up.

My Current Weaknesses
- Short term pleasure for long term pain
- No options atm
- Abandonment of social circle
- Succumbing to the AFC urges

My plan
- Stay No Contact
- Bought Rational Male to re-engage my previous mindset, especially Identity Crisis
- Pursuing my hobby of being a social butterfly - It died when I achieved in finding a 'good girl'
- Understanding that I revert back to my AFC ways, when I think I got the approval of intimacy
- Stay No Contact, divide and conquer when this relationship does not work out