The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[MrWood]

my ex was 18 years younger

her mother moved back in with her, bla bla, hypergamy.. blablabla

ever go to Scandinavia Lucy?

 

[Lucy]

No why do you ask?

 

[Tictac]

What the **** happened to this thread? This is literal ****posting.

Waiting for you to be thread herder CJ.

 

[finality]

Personally, I do not think you have ever actually truly wanted to move on from this girl. I think all along you have actually really wanted her back, but did just not want to fully admit it or know how to make it happen. I think you have been attempting 'No Contact', not really to move on from her, but primarily hoping to create a big enough reaction in her, that it would motivate her to return to you and your relationship. I think you were hoping she would/will return with a renewed and heightened desire to be with you.

I do want her back. She got a hold of me yesterday and we ended up going out and fked like 5 times. But today she is back with her beta provider boyfriend and I'm posting another failure in the NC thread.

 

[Fireballs]

Day 10.

My mind is playing tricks on me trying to rationalise sending her a text. The day I moved all my stuff out and left she was away at work and as we broke up over the phone (I was away at work) I haven't seen her. I left a note for her on the bench before I left the house as we purchased an expensive boat together. It just said that I will be selling the boat but will leave the boat at her house until my next week off when I will grab it (when she's at work) and I will deposit half of what I get for it into her account and mail her a receipt. When she got home that night she tried to call a few times, left a crying voicemail asking if I'm ok and where I'd moved to.. I didn't call back and then she sent a text saying for me not to be hasty selling the boat and to think about it (she knows how much I love it) and that she'd love to hear from me when I was ready to talk and that she was hurting too.

I'm starting to feel bad about ignoring that message and calls. Should I have called her back? I ALMOST sent her a reply last night to that text...10 days later...

She didn't cheat on me or disrespect me, it just wasn't working out which is why I'm feeling bad for ignoring her.

 

[Tictac]

Day 10.

My mind is playing tricks on me trying to rationalise sending her a text. The day I moved all my stuff out and left she was away at work and as we broke up over the phone (I was away at work) I haven't seen her. I left a note for her on the bench before I left the house as we purchased an expensive boat together. It just said that I will be selling the boat but will leave the boat at her house until my next week off when I will grab it (when she's at work) and I will deposit half of what I get for it into her account and mail her a receipt. When she got home that night she tried to call a few times, left a crying voicemail asking if I'm ok and where I'd moved to.. I didn't call back and then she sent a text saying for me not to be hasty selling the boat and to think about it (she knows how much I love it) and that she'd love to hear from me when I was ready to talk and that she was hurting too.

I'm starting to feel bad about ignoring that message and calls. Should I have called her back? I ALMOST sent her a reply last night to that text...10 days later...

She didn't cheat on me or disrespect me, it just wasn't working out which is why I'm feeling bad for ignoring her.

Falling prey to the illusion of action will not go well.

 

[Fireballs]

Falling prey to the illusion of action will not go well.

I don't understand what you're saying.

 

[Tictac]

I don't understand what you're saying.

Don't send the text in the name of 'doing something'.

 

[Lucy]

I know this is a 60 day NC challenge...However your situation sounds different. Speaking from a woman's point of view...she will want to talk things through by the sounds of it and by ignoring her will only make things worse. I would be really huffed if a note was left for me. Might be best....In your situation just to talk things through and just tell her why it wasn't working for you and either end it once and for all like that or reconcile. Feel a bit of a cheat concidering it's a NC challenge but that's my opinion.

 

[Lucy]

I caved in and contacted my ex....to discover he is ok and he is still dating someone else. I then replied saying I was on dating website and was meeting people. So no great outcome and back to day 1 haha.

 

[Fireballs]

I know this is a 60 day NC challenge...However your situation sounds different. Speaking from a woman's point of view...she will want to talk things through by the sounds of it and by ignoring her will only make things worse. I would be really huffed if a note was left for me. Might be best....In your situation just to talk things through and just tell her why it wasn't working for you and either end it once and for all like that or reconcile. Feel a bit of a cheat concidering it's a NC challenge but that's my opinion.

She dumped me. I left the note so I wouldn't have to speak to her again and regarding talking things through, I have absolutely nothing to say to her.

 

[Lucy]

You seriously need to keep up with the NC challenge otherwise she will think she can have you whenever she wants.....and I'm saying this because I'm in a similar situation. you always want want you can't have. If you keep it up and act like your not bothered she will come running. My ex (a malehas done no contact and is dating someone else and it is driving me crazy. Trust me on this one...Please keep it up and look like you are living life to the full and she will be back!!

I do want her back. She got a hold of me yesterday and we ended up going out and fked like 5 times. But today she is back with her beta provider boyfriend

 

[Lucy]

Oh right I see...then yes you do need to do this for you more than anything. Do you still have feelings for her?

 

[Fireballs]

Oh right I see...then yes you do need to do this for you more than anything. Do you still have feelings for her?

Yes I do. But even if she wanted me back.. I would say no.. The trust has been broken..

 

[MrWood]

no.. The trust has been broken..

this +1

 

[Lucy]

Do you think it can be repaired?

 

[Fireballs]

Never

 

[Lucy]

tbh...now I know your situation I can understand. I broke up with my ex all the time..I can't count. I was going through a difficult time and I pushed him away....now I am paying for it. I think NC may make her realise what she wants as I needed space to think all the time so broke up with him then got back together etc etc and she may feel the same I dunno. When you have time you reflect on the relationship

 

[Fireballs]

Had to break NC today for logistical reasons. I've decided to keep the boat so I had to tell her I will be paying her out. The conversation was friendly and drama free which was good.

 

[MrWood]

2mo NC

ex has messaged me on FB, only preview so far, so not seen as "read"
*update - full text preview
"Hello Myname! How are you doing? I'm a bit better although not perfect yet with my tensions. I do hope you are good. would be great to hear about your successes!"

10pm Friday night, I for sure wont goto FB until morning anyway.
sounds like an EGO booster. it is..

"tensions" refers to her mother living with her plus her needing "space" aka CC
"successes" are how my life is, as I do some increased public speaking and movement in my industry

this was a very serious 2 yr high contact LDR, she left me to "get space" and "might be emotional for someone" out of the blue. I had very resigned to NOT letting her back into my life. I really should ignore it, i will "read it"

I think a SMS or Phone call initiated by her, with me ignoring the msg is what should be done if she was serious.

help. Part of me wants her. If she can say and do the right things, there could be a possibility. From our history, my style, my ignoring the FB msg completly, she would think I am "mad/hurt" still.

seems there is a way to "like" it, without reading it. That is quite impartial