Dealing with Negative "Friends"

[bigneil]

Did you ever have "friends" who reveal themselves to be your secret arch rivals?

Example:

You: "I got a girls' number tonite".
Him: "Maybe it was a fake number".
You: "I have a date with her tonite".
Him: "She might blow you off".
You: "The first date went great".
Him: "Did you PAY? She might be using you..."
You: "I had sex with her tonite".
Him: "Dude, TMI".
You: "She wants to get married".
Him: "I really don't care about your stories about women!!".
You: "She hasn't called me back..."
Him: "Why would any girl ever like you?"

In this situation, we need to realize that this is simply their (remarkably lame) attempt at being competitive. Real men will one-up you, fake men will belittle you. Remember to give credit where it's due or you sound like a 5 year old whining about another lollipop.

Do you have any "friends" like this, and how do you deal with the situation?

 

[GeniuzKhrist]

Nah.

 

[Robert_F]

Not like this, but I had a co-worker who was so obsessed with sex that this was ALL he could talk about. No matter what he was doing, according to him, it had to do with sex. He would brag about having sex with at least two different women a night, and at least six on the weekend.

Once I happened to meet one of the women he claimed to have had sex with multiple times during the week, and even during his lunch break at work. I asked her to meet me at a sports bar where he was meeting me for a drink and filled her in to the fact he was going to be there.

She knew what he had been saying and it was funny to watch him sweat as she boldly stated in public to him, "So. Alex, according to you we've been having sex have we? Are you jacking off to that picture of me again, because I sure as Hell wouldn't let you ever even touch me."

 

[Serenity]

My friends would always encourage me and ask how things went, hoping it to work out well. However they were all in relationships when I was single, they had no reason to compete.

If I had friends like that I wouldn't call them friends. I'd let them drift out of my life and find friends I would want to be around.

 

[bigneil]

Not like this, but I had a co-worker who was so obsessed with sex that this was ALL he could talk about. Once I happened to meet one of the women he claimed to have had sex with multiple times during the week, and even during his lunch break at work. I asked her to meet me at a sports bar where he was meeting me for a drink and filled her in to the fact he was going to be there.

So basically, you ratted him out and then set him up, all because you didn't have any women of your own? Why would you care that much about making him look bad? Why not make yourself look good by getting a hotter girl?

Regarding "friends", always beware people who have an agenda. You know they have an agenda when they claim "I believe A because of B" and you prove to them that B is wrong, and (if they don't retreat to their safe space over hurt feelings) they seamlessly switch to "I believe in A because of C".

 

[Robert_F]

So basically, you ratted him out and then set him up, all because you didn't have any women of your own? Why would you care that much about making him look bad? Why not make yourself look good by getting a hotter girl?

Regarding "friends", always beware people who have an agenda. You know they have an agenda when they claim "I believe A because of B" and you prove to them that B is wrong, and (if they don't retreat to their safe space over hurt feelings) they seamlessly switch to "I believe in A because of C".

Ratted? Interesting word considering he was the biggest rodent I have known. I just got sick of hearing his BS and decided he should eat crow. He was / is a liar and tells everyone he is sleeping with women who wouldn't let him so it was payback. As far as "getting a woman of my own", I don't want one. They are too expensive and way too much of a headache. I'll get one when and if I need one.

 

[SayWhat]

I kind of have the same problem, but more in general.

My friends are always negative and lazy, complaining about everything in their life.

Another thing that struck me this week that kind of opened my eyes even more is the terrorist attack in Brussels. I work at that airport, not at the location where it happened, but not that far away. My friends know that, but they didn't even care to send me a text asking if I was okay anyway. Hell I got messages from people I completely did not expect.

 

[ubercat]

Mate - that reeks. Definitely time to clean house. I remember a Louis L'amour quote - western novel writer who'd had an amazing life and very well studied - all self-taught - real DJ. "A man can spend half a lifetime in the wrong place with people who do not care for him"

 

[bigneil]

The other day a naysayer I know was defending single moms and welfare for illegals and radical Islam, so I said "I dated 9 single moms, you dated zero - what do you know about single moms?" and he started screaming at me "You're not a ladies man! You think you are a ladies man and that is a joke!" Now, I've never called myself that nor do I recall using that term, though I have been told by some that I am one.

So I looked up the definition of Ladies man:

"A usually flirtatious or highly attentive man who relishes the company of women".
"A man who strives to please women and to attract their attention and admiration."
"A man who is fond of, attentive to, and successful with women".

Given that I personally introduced the man who inspired the OP to FIVE gorgeous women who I was dating, in a short time (3 in three days once, all of whom were served a home cooked dinner) some of whom were gushing and asking him to take our picture together, I think it's safe to say he knows I'm successful with women.

So why would he say something with such anger that is patently, demonstrably false?

I learned yesterday listening to a guest on Stefan Molydeux - it's called Projection. He just gave me a brain dump of his subconscious mind. He revealed what he thinks of himself - that HE is not a ladies man.

As the saying goes, you know you're over the target when you start to catch flak.

 

[Tictac]

"You're not a ladies man! You think you are a ladies man and that is a joke!" Now, I've never called myself that nor do I recall using that term, though I have been told by some that I am one.

Classic 'red herring' logic fault (just look at a few posts here for evidence). "I cannot respond to your statement so I deflect to unrelated bs" is all it means.

 

[bigneil]

Here is Vox Day talking about projection:

"The important thing to remember is: whenever you are getting attacked, any time the attack doesn't sense, you know what is going on is emotional projection on the other side."

 

[Dhoulmagus]

I have a friend like this lolz

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Did you ever have "friends" who reveal themselves to be your secret arch rivals?

Example:

You: "I got a girls' number tonite".
Him: "Maybe it was a fake number".
You: "I have a date with her tonite".
Him: "She might blow you off".
You: "The first date went great".
Him: "Did you PAY? She might be using you..."
You: "I had sex with her tonite".
Him: "Dude, TMI".
You: "She wants to get married".
Him: "I really don't care about your stories about women!!".
You: "She hasn't called me back..."
Him: "Why would any girl ever like you?"

In this situation, we need to realize that this is simply their (remarkably lame) attempt at being competitive. Real men will one-up you, fake men will belittle you. Remember to give credit where it's due or you sound like a 5 year old whining about another lollipop.

Do you have any "friends" like this, and how do you deal with the situation?

You nailed this bigneil, but a "real man" might not even need to "one up" you because he is comfortable within himself and what life is giving him.

 

[Glumix]

One thing that a single mother will NEVER be able to teach her boy is what it is and how to behave while he will be in the pack. Because she has no idea what it is to be a man among men.

When you try to take the place of the Alpha, you will have to fight. But some people do not like to fight so they play Games and talk BS to bring the Alpha down to their level instead of climbing up to his.

Avoid those people, including women.

If you are an Alpha, good people will follow you and you will be an inspiration for them. They will push you up because they want you to learn what they cannot and they will then try to learn from you and most above all they will respect you.