Church Girls

[Fitters]

I know sex withdrawal is a red flag but is there exceptions ?
Currently dating a very spiritual girl that I took her viginity. However today she threw a serious convo about having sex out of marriage and how it's bad. She also goes on about how she only only did it because she loves me a lot and wanted to fit into my lifestyle. However she sometimes feel bad and really low self esteem recently.
Now I kept the same frame and said okay and didn't really look to bargain.

I kinda viewed it as something genuine because there has not been any issues. She doesn't use social media as other girls ( She deleted all her instagram pictures and even ask me when she can or what to post there ) Right now she is the ideal candidate for a wife.

But we are both young 23M & 21F and I don't know if to take her serious or continue doing what I'm doing and hope things work it self out.

 

[Bible_Belt]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/index....ditioned-me-to-be-an-afc.230484/#post-2299844

I suggest Bible study, especially the Song of Solomon.

 

[Xeon21]

I guess it depends on what sort of answer you are looking for here.

There is quite a difference between being "spiritual" versus being "religious". I am a quite spiritual person as I believe in God, and am a firm believer in the power of emotion as well as what is behind it along with other things. I don't believe in religion however, nor do I follow any.

From what you wrote, my guess is that she adheres to old mindsets about the bible and "morality". It appears that she is already somewhat torn in this area as she already slept with you, as if her convictions in those areas were paramount, she wouldn't have done so. It seems she is willing to compromise in this area since she said she wanted to fit into your lifestyle.

There are ways I know to break people of those old mindsets and shatter their perceptions about religion, but I don't think this is the place for that sort of discussion.

 

[RangerMIke]

Ask her if being with you makes her feel 'bad' then what's the point. Tell her you think you understand where she is coming from, but that SHE needs to understand how important sex is to you.

There are no exceptions to a women withdrawing sex... no exceptions. When she pulls back it's a red flag, PERIOD.

All women are the same. ALL WOMEN ARE THE SAME. You do not have a special snowflake.... there are no special snowflakes.

Do what you want, but if you have to understand that all she is doing at this point is trying to gain control of your relationship, if you go along with this then you might as well slip the nose ring in and hand her the chain. REMEMBER, if you go along with this, then she will be less attracted to you not more.... Women want men that can take control and dominate a relationship... what you need to do is maintain your frame and take control, if she thinks sex is 'bad' then it's your job to point out to her that sex is 'good'.

Women know that they are controlled by their emotions, they look for men that can cut through her emotional barriers and make sh!t happen. You go along with her and you will have IDed yourself as a man that can't get sh!t done. She wants a wolf, not a puppy.

 

[RangerMIke]

@RangerMIke there are people out there who don't want to have sex before getting married, due to deeply held religious beliefs. Doesn't make them 'red flag' worthy.

I'm not talking about women that think sex before marriage is wrong, I'm talking about the woman in the OP post. The OP and this gal have already had sex and now she is withdrawing it. When this happens you have a red flag. This woman already crossed the line.

But since you bring this up, women that place too many rules on a relationship are way to structured, and while there is nothing wrong with them, they are no fun at all.... When it comes to sex, sex becomes a control tool they use on men. When this happens you just have to remind them if you are not getting out of the relationship what you want, you will go elsewhere.

If I meet a girl Saturday night and she's willing to go home with me, I wonder how many other guys she's willing to go home with on the first night. Not my kind of girl.

Great... if that's not what you want then you are true to your purpose. But NEVER forget, that just because you didn't find a girl Saturday clubbing, doesn't mean that she is a "sweet special snowflake" and hasn't had more sausage run through her than a Oscar-Meyer factory. I could tell you stories, but trust when I say that the church girls from my past were always the biggest freaks in bed.

There ARE women out there, incredible women, who genuinely want a relationship with you, but don't want to be 'pumped and dumped' by some douche who gets what he wants and loses all respect for her.

All women want relationships, and no woman wants to be pumped and dumped, but it happens anyway, because women CAN NOT control their emotions. When they get horny, and there is a man in front of them that they are physically attracted to, and the man knows how to seduce a women, she will fvck him... Later she will justify her actions as being the man's 'fault'.

 

[Fitters]

Thanks gentlemen. Thank God I learned the technique of not saying anything.
After thinking about it , I come to conclusion that it's :
1) **** test
2) Some control or frame battle.

I recall telling her sex is part of my lifestyle and I think trying to compromise now will play right into her trap. Also if she did it already about 15times then what's her issue all of the sudden.

Damnn I was seconds away from going full AFC in her eyes.

 

[LiveYourDream]

I recall telling her sex is part of my lifestyle and I think trying to compromise now will play right into her trap. Also if she did it already about 15times then what's her issue all of the sudden.

(In her mind)---She is hoping to be reassured by you (and your actions) that, for you, sex with her is special.

She wants to be reassured that she did not (in giving you her virginity), and is not (in continuing to have sex with you), compromising/sacrificing her values, all for a man who thinks sex with her is no more meaningful, than any other girl he might randomly go fvck.

She's most likely feeling, especially during sex, like she is only really a cvm dumpster to you, and as a result she is questioning her choices.

 

[wifehunter]

Firstly, if you're not a Roman Catholic, marriage is not a sacrament. Secondly, If you're both committed and have consummated (sealed the deal with sex)... That's all you need, for an actual Marriage.

Unsurprisingly... Churches, Society, and Culture have blown everything out of proportion. example: vows, dresses, formalities, government licenses, $$$$$$, needing someone to marry you (pastor, minister, priest, sea Capitan) etc. It's all just a bunch of fluff, and has no bearing on your life with your spouse, in the long run.

 

[EyeBRollin]

If she witholds sex and that's what you want, you accept it and move on. She must submit to you, not the other way around.

 

[Xeon21]

Firstly, if you're not a Roman Catholic, marriage is not a sacrament. Secondly, If you're both committed and have consummated (sealed the deal with sex)... That's all you need, for an actual Marriage.

Unsurprisingly... Churches, Society, and Culture have blown everything out of proportion. example: vows, dresses, formalities, government licenses, $$$$$$, needing someone to marry you (pastor, minister, priest, sea Capitan) etc. It's all just a bunch of fluff, and has no bearing on your life with your spouse, in the long run.

Extremely well said. Couldn't agree more.