Sweet girl, suddenly turns cold

[Almax]

One more thing. She took two f^cking days to reply my call with a freaking text... This is bs, no one is gonna talk about that?
Thats why i didnt ask her out by text, she was cold and selfish. And Thats why I texted her "i called you to know how were you doing" sh^t.

 

[AttackFormation]

I think you guys are over-thinking way too much.

OP did ok.

The real issue here is that she probably just found OP 'meh'. She went on a date with him because:
1 she had nothing else to do that day.
2 she wanted to have a date.
3 she found OP ok looking but she did not really liked his personality.
4 she found OP ok, but now another guy is in the picture.
5 she just wanted a ONS. (which I doubt).

In any case she had low interest and this is the real reason to why it turned out this way.
So even if OP would have tried to bang her, he probably wouldn't have gotten the lay.

I dont understand why this obsession to blaim guys when a girl is just not really into them.
Sometimes guys screw things up, but if the girl has medium to high interest...it doesnt matter if he doesnt do everything perfectly.

That's great! if he had tried to bang her and it really was a problem of low interest from the start, he would've found out about her low interest on the second date instead of weeks later from you telling him so in this thread.

I don't think anyone is blaming the OP for her lack of interest. What we're doing is making sure his side of the game is shored up where it shows a need to be, and that he does the right things next time like going for the bang ASAP after establishing the frame to do it.

 

[Almax]

I think you guys are over-thinking way too much.

OP did ok.

The real issue here is that she probably just found OP 'meh'. She went on a date with him because:
1 she had nothing else to do that day.
2 she wanted to have a date.
3 she found OP ok looking but she did not really liked his personality.
4 she found OP ok, but now another guy is in the picture.
5 she just wanted a ONS. (which I doubt).

In any case she had low interest and this is the real reason to why it turned out this way.
So even if OP would have tried to bang her, he probably wouldn't have gotten the lay.

I dont understand why this obsession to blaim guys when a girl is just not really into them.
Sometimes guys screw things up, but if the girl has medium to high interest...it doesnt matter if he doesnt do everything perfectly.

I agree with you but just one more thing, she seems very interested, she was very sweet and funny. She also told me "im sorry" like a lot for the lamest things you could imagine... It seems that she really wanted to make a good impression. She also holded hands, hugged me a lot and even bumped me a lot when I was walking her home... Like asking for more contact.

But now her interest level is low, I know that.

 

[kenpiffyjr]

One more thing. She took two f^cking days to reply my call with a freaking text... This is bs, no one is gonna talk about that?
Thats why i didnt ask her out by text, she was cold and selfish. And Thats why I texted her "i called you to know how were you doing" sh^t.

That's when you don't reply at all tbh

 

[AttackFormation]

I agree with you but just one more thing, she seems very interested, she was very sweet and funny. She also told me "im sorry" like a lot for the lamest things you could imagine... It seems that she really wanted to make a good impression. She also holded hands, hugged me a lot and even bumped me a lot when I was walking her home... Like asking for more contact.

But now her interest level is low, I know that.

She was trying to get you to fvck her.

 

[Almax]

She was trying to get you to fvck her.

Dunno. But the thing is when I really like a girl, I just dont want to fvck her asap. I just do that when the girls is average for me or just "meh".

And also, I honestly dont think that she was turned off couse my lack of sex moves... It was just the first date!

I think my mistake was to called her sweet a few times, texted her the day after and just act like "Im in love" too soon.
Btw That was my pick up line when I met her lol

 

[Who Dares Win]

Op, the guys explained you which one was the problem, anyway the problem is not you since you just did what you believed was the right (and fair) thing to do in good faith, awfully this is not the time and culture to play by those rules.

So again keep in mind the current culture and setting and dont consider a girl "different" or "special" until proven otherwise and surely not after a single date.

As a general rule is better to push too much than not enough, you can still stop holding something too hot but you cant grab anything that got too far.

 

[kenpiffyjr]

Also to address the low interest portion.

I hate when cats use the ASSUMED low interest as a a nexting tool. Play the game and assume she wants it in her mouth. Like attack said, have your game on point and throw up ya shot. Find out low interest after taking your shot, not when you are dribbling the ball up the court.

For the chick to go on the date is interest. It's just ya job not to get in your own way to see if you can score out of it. No matter if she just walked out of church from being baptized, assume she's a slut and keep your frame.

 

[AttackFormation]

Dunno. But the thing is when I really like a girl, I just dont want to fvck her asap. I just do that when the girls is average for me or just "meh".

And also, I honestly dont think that she was turned off couse my lack of sex moves... It was just the first date!

I think my mistake was to called her sweet a few times, texted her the day after and just act like "Im in love" too soon.
Btw That was my pick up line when I met her lol

That's natural. When your brain thinks having a relationship (ie. kids) with a girl is a good idea, it's probably not in a hurry. The thing however is that's only your brain's perception of her. It's like a flinch reaction in boxing, you have to train it away because even though it's natural and kinda makes sense it's still not a good thing.

You took her on a second date. You don't think the first time you saw her counts? come on.

Well it doesn't matter now, just find some new chicks in those bars.

 

[fastlife]

@AttackFormation nailed it. Unless logistics are absolutely terrible or she's post/near-Wall provider shopping, you have to be the guy that makes sex happen. Any 'dates' that won't end in sex should be an hour tops.

Quit being butt hurt about girls not responding to phone calls. Happens. So what. You still want to sleep with her.

But here's my game plan--now you probably won't listen cause she's 'different' or she 'disrespected' you. Hit her up midweek ~8: "Have half a bottle of Merlot from last night but if I finish it by myself that'll make me an alcoholic. Come over.' Takes care of ASD & preselection (guys don't buy bottles of wine for themself) & sets the frame for sex to happen. You're welcome.

 

[Almax]

That's natural. When your brain thinks having a relationship (ie. kids) with a girl is a good idea, it's probably not in a hurry. The thing however is that's only your brain's perception of her. It's like a flinch reaction in boxing, you have to train it away because even though it's natural and kinda makes sense it's still not a good thing.

You took her on a second date. You don't think the first time you saw her counts? come on.

Well it doesn't matter now, just find some new chicks in those bars.

I cant have sex with a girl on the first date without thinking "huge sloot", I just cant, its too son for me too... And I only do it when I dont give a **** and she is not gf material.

It took me almost a month to hooked up with my last ex and we lasted 5 years. With my previous ex was very similar.

Why should I move too fast when i dont like that? It really turns me off.

 

[fastlife]

I cant have sex with a girl on the first date without thinking "huge sloot", I just cant, its too son for me too... And I only do it when I dont give a **** and she is not gf material.

It took me almost a month to hooked up with my last ex and we lasted 5 years. With my previous ex was very similar.

Why should I move too fast when i dont like that? It really turns me off.

Mindset probs. I used to be the same way--bit of a Madonna/***** complex. Every girl will move that fast for the right guy; if she's not a virgin, you shouldn't be waiting any longer than the guy who waited the least amount of time. It's 2016; that's one night. Any girl who tells you otherwise is trying to manipulate you; the real deal will show you she's not like that by her actions (or may even try to downplay her prudishness out of fear she won't make the cut).

But deep down you feel you're not good enough for a girl to sleep with immediately. Personally, I never think a girl is slvtty for anything she does with me; but I've gotten pretty good at screening them based on how they react afterwards.

Not your job to make a girl into gf material. She is, or she isn't; your job as a man is to push for sex--whether she gives in or not will tell you a lot more about the girl than adhering to some arbitrary timeline of when sex should happen.

 

[AttackFormation]

Mindset probs. I used to be the same way--bit of a Madonna/***** complex. Every girl will move that fast for the right guy; if she's not a virgin, you shouldn't be waiting any longer than the guy who waited the least amount of time. It's 2016; that's one night. Any girl who tells you otherwise is trying to manipulate you; the real deal will show you she's not like that by her actions (or may even try to downplay her prudishness out of fear she won't make the cut).

But deep down you feel you're not good enough for a girl to sleep with immediately. Personally, I never think a girl is slvtty for anything she does with me; but I've gotten pretty good at screening them based on how they react afterwards.

Not your job to make a girl into gf material. She is, or she isn't; your job as a man is to push for sex--whether she gives in or not will tell you a lot more about the girl than adhering to some arbitrary timeline of when sex should happen.

Man. I brofist your posts.

 

[Almax]

One last thing. I have been single for 3 years now... Im tired of sloots, random sex, the game and all that ****. So yes, maybe I wanted to make a relationship too fast too soon and I scared her. Maybe she thought "this guy is already in love WTF?!?!" and her ***** got dry. But she was also into it and sweet af, thats why I was so enthusiastic.

So... fvck that. Good girls just want to be treated like random sloots. Im coming back to the bar I guess...

 

[Almax]

Mindset probs. I used to be the same way--bit of a Madonna/***** complex. Every girl will move that fast for the right guy; if she's not a virgin, you shouldn't be waiting any longer than the guy who waited the least amount of time. It's 2016; that's one night. Any girl who tells you otherwise is trying to manipulate you; the real deal will show you she's not like that by her actions (or may even try to downplay her prudishness out of fear she won't make the cut).

But deep down you feel you're not good enough for a girl to sleep with immediately. Personally, I never think a girl is slvtty for anything she does with me; but I've gotten pretty good at screening them based on how they react afterwards.

Not your job to make a girl into gf material. She is, or she isn't; your job as a man is to push for sex--whether she gives in or not will tell you a lot more about the girl than adhering to some arbitrary timeline of when sex should happen.

A few months ago I went on a date with another girl. The date was great, I walked her home and when I went for the kiss she was allright and ready for it. I kissed her with passion and she didnt like that. I never saw her again.

But then again, It's very common to move calm when both parties really like each other. I really dont think I turned her off whit that.

 

[Reykhel]

@AttackFormation nailed it. Unless logistics are absolutely terrible or she's post/near-Wall provider shopping, you have to be the guy that makes sex happen. Any 'dates' that won't end in sex should be an hour tops.

Quit being butt hurt about girls not responding to phone calls. Happens. So what. You still want to sleep with her.

But here's my game plan--now you probably won't listen cause she's 'different' or she 'disrespected' you. Hit her up midweek ~8: "Have half a bottle of Merlot from last night but if I finish it by myself that'll make me an alcoholic. Come over.' Takes care of ASD & preselection (guys don't buy bottles of wine for themself) & sets the frame for sex to happen. You're welcome.

I like your game plan........careful with saying you have Merlot though

....in all seriousness.......probably casting pearls at swine here......
This is a mentality issue that needs a major paradigm shift.....

 

[Floydispink01]

If I texted a girl ''Yeah its all good... I just wanna know how were you doing". I wouldn't expect a response either.

If you want to find out what the girl's interest in you is, then ask herself definitive and concrete. Aka - asking her out. Not some lame 'up in the air' comment.

Have some b.alls man. If she doesn't show interest after that then at least you get some experience out of it. You got nothing to lose.

 

[Reykhel]

@Almax you need to change your mentality towards sex and women....else you're going to
live a very frustrated existence....

 

[fastlife]

One last thing. I have been single for 3 years now... Im tired of sloots, random sex, the game and all that ****. So yes, maybe I wanted to make a relationship too fast too soon and I scared her. Maybe she thought "this guy is already in love WTF?!?!" and her ***** got dry. But she was also into it and sweet af, thats why I was so enthusiastic.

So... fvck that. Good girls just want to be treated like random sloots. Im coming back to the bar I guess...

You're still looking at things from a black and white, all or nothing, gf-slvt POV. The truth is there's a ton of nuances and shades of gray that your mental model doesn't account for. It isn't just ONS vs LTR--a relationship doesn't have to look a certain way. It doesn't have to be just like your last relationship. Sure, that worked for you then. But you've (hopefully) changed; this time it's with a different girl; your life circumstance have (hopefully) changed, and your last relationships didn't work out (for whatever reason). That's awesome. You can start fresh and try some things differently.

Some girls are good for a night, some for a couple weeks, some for a couple months, etc. But how long they make a good fit for your lifestyle is on them. You should treat every girl the exact same, until she proves she deserves preferential treatment. Virgins and bar slvts respond to the same attraction triggers. Even that virgin wants you to put her in a position where sex might happen. Isolate & escalate. You won't know where they fall on that spectrum until they fall there. Stop treating girls differently based on your mental projection--get to know her for who she is and not what you want her to be.

And, in fact, slvttier girls respond much better to 'respectful guy' game. They've already been burned; they've been used--they know they can't tie down that alpha (though they'll still want a spin for the night). Naive, inexperienced girls fall for 'players' and 'bad boys.' That type of thing is exciting for them. And high quality gf material chicks with a moderate n-count don't even know that players are a real thing--because they'll have successfully tied down all but the coldest of players.

You're still running Antidump's The Machine model to dating. But AD was an older guy (most likely) dating older women. If you want a girl to make you wait three dates, date an older woman--just know she wasn't like that in her prime and you're only fooling yourself. Girls will behave according to their other options.

I've been meaning to do an extensive post on screening girls (but that'll be sometime after spring break--city is popping!); but a quick tell I've started experimenting with is the first time you get a girl alone, middle of conversation grab her forearm a little forcefully and look into her eyes and pull her towards you just a little. Inexperienced girls will get super nervous, might even scare her off; but unless she's just low interest she'll be super receptive the next time you hit her up--this means she isn't used to being touched that way and it's a little scary and a little exciting. More experienced, agenda-based girls won't even flinch but might give you some schpiel about 'how OMG she isn't like that;' she's used to being touched like that and knows exactly what it means. Slvts don't care. Escalate or not at your own discretion lol.

 

[AttackFormation]

I've been meaning to do an extensive post on screening girls

I caught you promising us!