uninhibited & great sex for men and women

[LiveYourDream]

TL;DR
A quote by fast life got me started thinking about women, men and how we each experience uninhibited and great sex. What allows men and women to be completely uninhibited with one other and what makes sex truly great for each of us?

remember if you think 'she's not that type of girl' she'll never be 'that type of girl' with you.

This is so true!

A man will never know a woman's dirtiest thoughts and desires or feel her full intensity of passion, and sexuality, even if she is bursting at the seams to let loose, unless she believes he can truly handle it and welcomes it.

She needs to know that she won't be judged or have what she shares with him, come back to haunt her. She needs to know that her deepest vulnerability and her free flowing raw sexuality massively turn him on and that he can handle anything she brings. She wants all of him and she wants to give him all of herself. She really does, yet she feels limited by the invitation she perceives.

I believe, in every encounter, a man sets the space of possibility and the outer limits for a woman's uninhibited expression more than he may imagine. (I'm not saying it's right or it's fair.)

Is this your experience of/with women? Is it something you even are aware of? Is your experience completely different?

It dawns in me, maybe the reverse is true for men in some way as well? Is that true?

 

[LiveYourDream]

It dawns in me, maybe the reverse is true for men in some way as well? Is that true?

What is it that allows men to feel uninhibited? What creates the best sex for men? Beyond the woman's consent, what situation, relationship, circumstance, level of connection, etc allows you as a man to feel completely sexually uninhibited with the woman your with? Is it ONS vs relationship? Perceived slvt vs 'good girl'? A STR or LTR who already knows and accepts your preferred kinks? Is it an emotional connection with the woman? Is it the intensity of lust/desire to either get off or to be with her? Is it a build up of tension of missing her or her body? Is it just a biological drive to ***, to procreate and the rest really doesn't matter so much?

I don't mean to be insensitive with any of this. I just have no idea. What is it? Is it variety? Is it wanting what you can't have and finally having it? Is it her responsiveness and desire for you? Is it knowing that you are satisfying a woman in a way that only a man can do? Is it the feeling of fvcking a woman and knowing you are making her moan and scream and cvm out of her mind? Is it the culmination of the chase? Is it about what she looks like, before, during and after? Is it about the tightness, wetness and contractions of her pvssy? Is it something different for every man or something different at different stages of life? Is it something different in every sexual encounter?

What makes sex great for men? Is it individual or similar for all men, do you think? Does it change or is it consistent through time and partners? What do you think? What is it for you or what do you think it is for men in general?

Just as I wrote above about what I believe women need to really let go sexually, what could women do or be (in addition to consent) to create the best space and sexual experience for the man she's with?

I know I just threw out a lot. I know, I process like a woman. I try to be concise and use fewer words here. I do. It just doesn't come out of me as a woman, like it does for you as a man. Thanks for bearing with me, if you have read this far.

Any open sharing about any and all of this would be amazing! The more insight, perspectives, experiences and opinions shared, the greater the understanding available for all.

Despite cringing and feeling nervous inside...I'm putting it all out there. What is your experience? What do you think? Please don't leave me hanging out here. Help me understand. Your sharing helps not just me but all of us. If we can't share it here, where are we going to talk about it. The more the merrier.

TL;DR
A quote by fast life got me started thinking about women, men and how we each experience uninhibited and great sex. What allows men and women to be completely uninhibited with one other and what makes sex truly great for each of them?

 

[AttackFormation]

A FYI to the rest of the guys, that quote is out of context. What fastlife was referring to is don't assume any woman is a "good girl" who wouldn't/hasn't done whatever would make her a "bad girl" to you, ie. don't pedestalize women.

Anyway...

I haven't had a very extensive sex life yet compared to other guys on this forum, but from the girls I've had sex with and from that also thought about what sex would be like with the countless girls I fvcked up with in the past, I can say this. The best sex is when you have the same kinks and you both naturally like each other - to put it concisely and avoid a lengthy post, you have good "chemistry". I put it into citation marks because I don't mean "chemistry" in the way of the person having something you want so you tell yourself you like them. If you like them because your brain is wearing rose-coloured glasses about them, you're really horny and need to have sex, or you're in the hormone rush of the honeymoon phase and whatever other examples you could think of, that is not what I mean by chemistry. When you have that down it will both naturally lead to the other things like no inhibition, moaning and screaming, dirty talking and so on that I know I love, and make those things better than if you're doing them but with someone you don't really like because she has a pvssy. So for example when you're dirty talking with someone you like, it will be because you feel like saying those things, not because you know it's supposed to be part of the act.

Now for the more material aspects. I basically like girly sluts. They get wet easily, they genuinely like c0ck and can't really resist it because they like it so much (you could say they need it), they have a sexual demeanour to their persona - how she moves, how she talks and even what clothes she wears, and they combine it with femininity so they are submissive and look up to you, like to please, and have a basically feminine body shape. They have the same kinks as me (which in my case are connected to them being submissive and liking to please), so they want to be choked (I love watching their face... they open their mouths, close their eyes, just like they are getting pleasure from it... and they are... they love when you dominate them), they get off on svcking c0ck, closing their eyes and moaning while they suck because they love having it in their mouth .... these girls just plain have a high sexuality.

Neither of the paragraphs is something I think you can "work on" with a girl beyond a certain point if it is not innate to her. She either is like that, or not.

 

[LiveYourDream]

A FYI to the rest of the guys, that quote is out of context. What fastlife was referring to is don't assume any woman is a "good girl" who wouldn't/hasn't done whatever would make her a "bad girl" to you, ie. don't pedestalize women.

I am sorry if accidentally provided incorrect or poor context. My intent was not to misuse his quote. I was simply hoping to shorten an already lengthy post. What got me started was how we can unknowingly limit ourselves and/or each other, by our mistaken perceptions of one another sexuality.

Fastlife's great post is in the box below in case someone is curious. It's feeds the topic too.

I've never heard of guy who rationalizes 'she's not that type of girl' who's ever ended up sleeping with the girl in question. Ever. But she's having sex with someone--and if she lives in America in 2016, she's probably had sex with (at least one of) them within several hours of meeting them.

You took her to the bar because 'she's not that type of girl.' It was a buffer against rejection. You didn't push to go inside with her because you didn't want to be rejected. Will every girl sleep with you the first night? No. But get rejected for being too sexual and watch how fast they hit you back up if they happen to shut you down for whatever reason.

No girl wants to be a slvt--it's 100% on you to make sex happen. And remember if you think 'she's not that type of girl' she'll never be 'that type of girl' with you.

 

[AttackFormation]

Yeah I didn't mean to declare this thread invalid or anything, haha... I just wanted to provide the context for that quote.

 

[skinnyguy]

AttackFormation is right. I had unprotected sex with a girl I really liked several times over 2-3 months and it was the best. This was because 1) we both hate condoms 2) I love her naked body all over me 3) she thinks I'm hot and 4) we like the same sexual positions.

This kind of sex is way better than anything you can get from a hooker etc. when the girl naturally wants to bang your brains out you get h0rny

 

[Bible_Belt]

I find www.fetlife.com to be fascinating; it lets you see all the weird sh!t people are into.

 

[fastlife]

A FYI to the rest of the guys, that quote is out of context. What fastlife was referring to is don't assume any woman is a "good girl" who wouldn't/hasn't done whatever would make her a "bad girl" to you, ie. don't pedestalize women.

Both contexts feed into each other. Every girl wants to be sexually dominated--even to the extent that social conditioning tells her she can't or that she'll be judged negatively if she does. That cute, innocent virgin ultimately responds to the same primal triggers as the bar slvt that gets passed around 3 nights a week. You'll be doing her a disservice to coddle her or to restrict your own sexuality because 'she isn't like that.' As long as you don't think your 'kinks' are socially unacceptable or degrading, neither will she--but if on any level you do feel that way--that you're 'degrading' her--she'll pick up on it and respond defensively, indignantly, 'I'm not that type of girl,' etc.

I'm frankly of the belief that everybody is a great lover on an instinctual level, but you have to be able to tap into those instincts. You have to bypass all the extraneous conscious & subconscious programming running in your mind and hers--what you've seen in porn, what she's read in Cosmos, what her friends, family and parents will think, the need to do x, y & z to make her cvm, the need to **** her for your friend's approval, the things she refrains from doing so that you won't think she's a slvt.

Now, there will be physical incompatibilities--any two people won't make a good sexual partnernship (or what you perceive as good sex--subconsciously, your body will reward you for making good genetic selections (Google phenotype). But if you get in touch with your instincts and primal attraction (not who your friends'll think is 'hot' or the type of girl you should be attracted to), there's no reason sex with anybody that triggers those instincts won't be awesome the first time around & every time after that. For instance, I've learned that the quality of the make out--the texture & taste of her mouth has (in my experience) 100% correlation with the quality of her pvssy.

What's most important is what's going on in your mind--by eliminating your mental hangups you'll behave in a way that bypasses hers. Here's a couple of beliefs that I've internalized that have improved my sexual experiences:

-Sex is natural; it would be weird if we didn't have sex
-A girl is never slvtty for what she does with me; I don't even count as a number--she can't help but want to sleep with me
-She can be a wh0re with me; no judgments, no expectations--if she does anything I don't enjoy I'll correct her physically (I've had 3 or 4 girls thank me for grabbing her head and guiding her to give me a better bj)
-I'm acting on mutual desire--I don't need validation, I don't need to do anything to make her cvm; I'm not 'taking' anything, I don't 'owe' her anything. She gets her enjoyment from enjoying me enjoying her
-Immerse yourself in the moment--don't focus on getting off, don't focus on getting her off, just enjoy finding a mutual rhythm, be relaxed, be dominant, have fun. Sex is just sex.

With that type of mindset, she really doesn't have to do anything. She doesn't have to be all that experienced; her response will be instinctual and involuntary. Post-sex will be natural and relaxed--no guilt, no obligation.

What makes sex great for men? Is it individual or similar for all men, do you think? Does it change or is it consistent through time and partners? What do you think? What is it for you or what do you think it is for men in general?

It changes. When I was shy and inexperienced, I liked girls to be aggressive and proactive--now that's a turnoff. Now I like girls to be submissive--to put up a little challenge but ultimately to submit (constantly bumping heads isn't fun). But I think it's ultimately on the guy & his mindset to make sex great. It's a nice thought that if I just do x, he'll be able to act confidently & dominantly. But either he's confident & dominant or not.

What a girl does have control over: be in shape, take care of her hygiene.

 

[Asmodeus]

It is all about inhibitions isn't it? So many people just seem so inhibited...Their sense of honor and dignity, their morals, social inhibitions, and the list goes on. It is like an invisible force preventing people from living their life. One must always of course make sure that there is no major risk involved in releasing those inhibitions (for instance sex without a condom was mentioned but that is an absolute no go for me as I have no intent on having a long term anything). Yet most things appear to just be psychological barriers more than anything else.
However, the question as to what makes sex great for men is something that I suspect will differ from the man and their desires. I think that both parties must release their inhibitions for sex to be ideal. Sex is a primal thing, most everything related to it is based in our primitive brain structures. Literally among the same basic functions as breathing, and digesting. Sadly sometimes people let their higher cortical functions get in the way of that, then get caught in their heads, their spontaneous action and desires bound by inhibitions.

 

[LiveYourDream]

I so appreciate each of you sharing your perspectives and experience! Thank you for stepping up and really digging in. It's great! I have so many thoughts and feelings about all that is being shared I don't know where to begin! I appreciate every single sharing! I hope more and more here, feel free to join in and share their perspective/experience too, whether similar of different and to engage discussion about all of it. I am so grateful to hear each of your perspectives and to have a place to freely dialogue about them. I can hardly contain myself.

 

[cola]

The best sex tip I can give guys Is take it.
You wanna *** on her face? Just do it. You want her to suck it? Just shove it in her mouth.
Want to *** in her mouth? Just do it.

Just doing it without asking is the treasure key to unlocking her inner slut. Any position I want, I put her in it. I want to **** her(after we already are in a sexual relationship) I take her. I never ask.

Try it and youll learn quick they are all slutty(in a good way).

Nothing dries her cooch like a timid little boy. She wants a wild caveman not a little b1tch

 

[Bingo-Player]

TL;DR
A quote by fast life got me started thinking about women, men and how we each experience uninhibited and great sex. What allows men and women to be completely uninhibited with one other and what makes sex truly great for each of us?

This is so true!

A man will never know a woman's dirtiest thoughts and desires or feel her full intensity of passion, and sexuality, even if she is bursting at the seams to let loose, unless she believes he can truly handle it and welcomes it.

She needs to know that she won't be judged or have what she shares with him, come back to haunt her. She needs to know that her deepest vulnerability and her free flowing raw sexuality massively turn him on and that he can handle anything she brings. She wants all of him and she wants to give him all of herself. She really does, yet she feels limited by the invitation she perceives.

I believe, in every encounter, a man sets the space of possibility and the outer limits for a woman's uninhibited expression more than he may imagine. (I'm not saying it's right or it's fair.)

Is this your experience of/with women? Is it something you even are aware of? Is your experience completely different?

It dawns in me, maybe the reverse is true for men in some way as well? Is that true?

this is good

an old freind of mine who is somewhat a "natural" always seemed to be able to get chicks to do the most craziest sh1t in bed

i guess they sensed he could handle it

ive had some freaks but nothing consistant and i always feel like some chicks are holding back on me

need to think about this issue further

 

[Alpheta]

Agreed. The girl im with as some of you may know is/was religous and introverted as hell. HArdly spoke of sex. Now?

Well i think due to my openess and willingness to talk freely about my fetishes has allowed her to open up and whats more is that she has declared fetishes that i thought she would never have lol. I truly believe that is because she is comfortable and feels like she wont be judged as i have allowed that freedom.

Never shy away from acting out your fetishes. I have a foot fetish. I lick her toes like candy. I lick her azz like ice cream. She does too lol. Loves to be cummed on the face and phucked/fingered/licked out whilst on her period (her fetish)

 

[Glumix]

My masculinity answers to her femininity and vice-versa.

I've had some beautiful girls who thought they were feminine but I couldn't have good sex with because they weren't at all. The biggest turnoff for me is a girl who cannot let herself submit, always wanting sex on her terms, saying no-no all the time and hoping on you **** 2 hours later. This is just control game, manipulative and castrating. Say no to this! Refuse her!

In the other hand, I've had a few girls who wanted to submit and be taken and that's the best sex ever. You create a world of fantasies and she willingly enters it. But she has to be willing to enter it! You cannot force her into your world.

Sex is most probably the only thing you can communicate openly with a woman and she will actually tell the truth or part of it. I've had a few women who were very reluctant to speak about it, most of them were bad in the bed, very unconfident about herself, of what sex was and how to do it well. And it's funny how the most beautiful girls often make the worst sex partners because they are soooooooooo little princesses.

Ultimately, I think that for good sex you have to enjoy giving sex and not taking sex.
Woman give sex by willingly receiving the man.
Man give sex by taking the woman off her feet.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

The one that favorizes better each gender sexual strategy. Women get off on submission and multiple partners (three-somes, gangbangs, etc); men on domination and as AttackFormation said that "**** craving". This ultimately destroys civilization, because the sustainers of it, betas, lose on both of these strategies. Betas can't just handle their princesses wanting to be assaulted by multiple penises at the same time, so women lie about it.

 

[AttackFormation]

and as AttackFormation said that "**** craving".

D1ck craving... dude, that perfectly summarises it. That's it.

When you are with a woman who is a d1ck craver (but not a nymphomaniac, those are turnoffs because they don't have any emotion for you), without even having sex with her let alone when you do......

 

[om1xr]

The answer is simple, good chemistry when good genes (high smv man and woman) meet each other and the absence of bullshiit social indoctrinations, psychological issues (social anxiety, low self esteem, anxiety about sexual perfomance...etc) and lack of judgement towards the other person.

 

[LiveYourDream]

D1ck craving... dude, that perfectly summarises it. That's it.

When you are with a woman who is a d1ck craver (but not a nymphomaniac, those are turnoffs because they don't have any emotion for you), without even having sex with her let alone when you do......

TL;DR
There are different fuels that individually or in combination can trigger an extraordinarily intense d1ck craving, for a woman.(examples below)

To what degree do you as a man even notice, care, and/or are you impacted by what is fueling a woman's particular d!ck craving?

Do specific ones (or combinations):
-- alter a man's desire or attraction, +/- ?
-- impact the kind of sex he has with her (that time)?
-- impact the intensity of sex ?
--impact his pleasure/overall satisfaction?

Examples (in no particular order)
1. She's into him emotionally
2. She wants to give herself to him, be taken by him, and receive all of him.
3. She's physically attracted to and turned on by his body (before she even she's him naked.)
4. She feels spark, chemistry, vibrancy, aliveness or a sense connection between them.
5. She loves him.
6. It's the middle of her cycle and her hormones have her craving d!ck out of her mind.
7. She feeling sexy, sensual and/or horny.
8. She just wants to fvck and be fvcked, (may or may not even know you, or see you again)
9. ???

 

[AttackFormation]

TL;DR
There are different fuels that individually or in combination can trigger an extraordinarily intense d1ck craving, for a woman.(examples below)

To what degree do you as a man even notice, care, and/or are you impacted by what is fueling a woman's particular d!ck craving?

Do specific ones (or combinations):
-- alter a man's desire or attraction, +/- ?
-- impact the kind of sex he has with her (that time)?
-- impact the intensity of sex ?
--impact his pleasure/overall satisfaction?

Examples (in no particular order)
1. She's into him emotionally.
2. She wants to give herself to him, be taken by him, and receive all of him.
3. She's physically attracted to and turned on by his body (before she even she's him naked.)
4. She feels spark, chemistry, vibrancy, aliveness or a sense connection between them.
5. She loves him.
6. It's the middle of her cycle and her hormones have her craving d!ck out of her mind.
7. She feeling sexy, sensual and/or horny.
8. She just wants to fvck and be fvcked, (may or may not even know you, or see you again)
9. ???

1. Yeah, it's better when she's into him emotionally. BUT for me, to put it concisely and if you understand what I mean, it has to be the right kind of emotion. I can't stand "beautiful", tender, "make love", "connection" vibes. Any time a woman refers to sex as "making love", it turns me off. I think from that you can understand the kind of vibe that I like.

2. This is too chick-speaky for me. I assume you mean she wants to be dominated

3. I personally don't get "sexually motivated" by spoken compliments of my body, to me that's more like an IOI, but a woman who is turned on and begs for d!ck is very motivating. So if my body makes her crazy, then yeah

4. This is the same thing as point 1
5. Same thing as point 1

6. If she only is this way when it's the middle of her cycle, that means two things: 1) she might not be this way when on the pill/implant which is a big deal and 2) she doesn't really crave d!ck psychologically, because if she did, the cycle wouldn't mean a big dive when she's not ovulating. My ex for example had an implant but was always up for fvcking. I'll never forget what she hurriedly panted to me when I was laying on top of her rubbing her pvssy with my d!ck, "please enter me!". That's a hallmark of a girl who needs sex like a craving. For as long as I was with her, she was never not in the mood of having her pvssy pounded or svcking d!ck. I never had to tell her to suck because she wanted to do so herself, she told me she wanted to. For example, once when we were in a park standing in a small mountain-forest, I was turning her on, and then this old creeper appeared to ruin the moment. With a disappointed, longing look she said "I was just about to... *looks me in the eyes* take it in the mouth".

7. Well, these girls are pretty much always feeling some level of that

8. I don't really care for ONS. If I wanted to fvck her in the first place then I would want to keep fvcking her at least for a while unless she has some problem like incurably bad hygiene, and feeling something for you is the difference between a "good" slut and just a free prostitute.

 

[LiveYourDream]

TL;DR
There are different fuels that individually or in combination can trigger an extraordinarily intense d1ck craving, for a woman.(examples below)

To what degree do you as a man even notice, care, and/or are you impacted by what is fueling a woman's particular d!ck craving?

Do specific ones (or combinations):
-- alter a man's desire or attraction, +/- ?
-- impact the kind of sex he has with her (that time)?
-- impact the intensity of sex ?
--impact his pleasure/overall satisfaction?

Examples (in no particular order)
1. She's into him emotionally
2. She wants to give herself to him, be taken by him, and receive all of him.
3. She's physically attracted to and turned on by his body (before she even she's him naked.)
4. She feels spark, chemistry, vibrancy, aliveness or a sense connection between them.
5. She loves him.
6. It's the middle of her cycle and her hormones have her craving d!ck out of her mind.
7. She feeling sexy, sensual and/or horny.
8. She just wants to fvck and be fvcked, (may or may not even know you, or see you again)
9. ???

I would really appreciate hearing from several more men about this. I am not sure how individual AF's experience is on this topic or if it speaks for most men. I would really appreciate any other sharings or insights offered, that might help me understand further. TY