She is probably talking to other guys and i feel i did a mistake by breaking the contact.

[hell29]

Hey all,

I am Eric. I need an advice from you all.

There was this girl, whom i talked to and proposed her. She said no as she was still involved with her ex at that time.I stopped talking to her for a while and she started initiating contact herself after that.
She asked me to meet and we met a no of times at our college fest.we even had nigh-touts till 5.

She told me that she was done with her ex and she looked interested as well. we were hanging out together and I was wasting a lot of time on her, and sometimes she felt interested and sometimes not(she is a very studious girl).
I finally took the courage to ask her again finally after 2 months.

I wanted to know, where we were heading.She again responded that the next few months are crucial academically and we need to focus on our studies as we have to sit for placements the next semester.She also said that she is confused for me right from the beginning and she didn't want to enter into something that she is confused about. Also, she told me that her previous relationship ended abruptly, so she was apprehensive towards relationships.

I told her that I am fine with all this and i can understand what she means.She herself asked me that "if its a distraction for you we can stop talking". I told her yes , we won't talk again and I also need to focus on my studies. She asked if we will be total strangers ?? I told her yes(as i was hurt) but in the end told her that we are not strangers but we won't talk much. She said that "you have always treated me sweetly and you think so highly of me,i don't know what to say".I ended the chat and its been 2 months NC since then and i haven't talked to her in college.

She used to stare at me initially, but i tried to ignore her.whenever,i see her i ignore her and sometimes she does that too.
Now,i came to know that some of guys from my batch also like her and they are trying to talk to her.I feel really bad when i think that she might be going out with someone else and feel that she is very innocent and people might take advantage of her. I also feel guilty of the way i behaved and abruptly stopped talking to her.

I sometimes feel like saying sorry to her. I realy don't know what to do ??

 

[Alpheta]

the day man realizes that all women are the same and none of them are special, is the day he shall be free.

End goal is the same. Biologically you just want to mate hence all these chemicals being released making you feel 'love.'

No such thing.

Move on. Find another.

 

[Tamura]

Hey Eric,
you are a nice guy. Too nice I believe. May I ask how old you are?

we were hanging out together and I was wasting a lot of time on her

Did you escalate in any way? Did you kiss her, had sex? If not, but you wanted to then your time was indeed wasted. Not by her, but by yourself.

I wanted to know, where we were heading.She again responded

Discussing a woman into a relationship, were you? Listen, that's never going to happen.

I sometimes feel like saying sorry to her. I realy don't know what to do ??

Sorry for what?

The good news is you found that forum. Maybe too late for getting her, but in time to not to make the same mistakes over and over again.

Start with Pooks 15 Lessons
http://www.mts.net/~bpony/djbible/

 

[El Payaso]

You have a lot of issues you need to work through. Nice guy syndrome, white knight, too shy, too beta, the list goes on and on.

My advice. Forget this girl and read the material available on this site. Specifically, the DJ bible. Also read Stop Being A Nice Guy, Sex God and The Manipulated Man.

They will open up your eyes because right now, you're living in a pathetic reality about women and it's clouding your judgement.

 

[RangerMIke]

You have a weak frame... therefor if you pull back I agree, she will let you go.

You need to work on yourself, you are not acting like a guy that a woman will find interesting and attractive. There is so much wrong with your approach I could type a book. Fortunately a book is already written It's called the DJ Bible.... please read and implement these changes in your life. Book of Pook is also good reading... but that is more philosophical.

The one thing I will say is NEVER apologize for your masculinity and the fact you are attracted to a woman. I had a woman last week come right out and tell me that it was obvious that I was interested in her more than just being business associates, and that she was only interested in a professional relationship. Most men would be falling all over themselves saying "Ah gee... I'm SORRY, that's not what I intended... please don't think I'm like that.... blah blah blah grovel grovel."

Fvck that. I just told her no problem and if she changed her mind she knows how to reach me. You should have seen the look on her face.... Now the funny thing is that I really never did have any intentions with her other than business. But there is no fvcking way I'm going to let a fvking women try to mess with my head. This was her way to try and gain leverage in our business relationship... what she didn't understand is that I do not value her pvssy any more than any other woman. ALL WOMEN ARE THE SAME. She will get no special treatment from me.

You know what.... I will bet you that she hasn't stopped thinking about me all week... this is how you get inside the head of a woman. Being nice and accommodating will get you no where.

 

[hell29]

You have a weak frame... therefor if you pull back I agree, she will let you go.

You need to work on yourself, you are not acting like a guy that a woman will find interesting and attractive. There is so much wrong with your approach I could type a book. Fortunately a book is already written It's called the DJ Bible.... please read and implement these changes in your life. Book of Pook is also good reading... but that is more philosophical.

The one thing I will say is NEVER apologize for your masculinity and the fact you are attracted to a woman. I had a woman last week come right out and tell me that it was obvious that I was interested in her more than just being business associates, and that she was only interested in a professional relationship. Most men would be falling all over themselves saying "Ah gee... I'm SORRY, that's not what I intended... please don't think I'm like that.... blah blah blah grovel grovel."

Fvck that. I just told her no problem and if she changed her mind she knows how to reach me. You should have seen the look on her face.... Now the funny thing is that I really never did have any intentions with her other than business. But there is no fvcking way I'm going to let a fvking women try to mess with my head. This was her way to try and gain leverage in our business relationship... what she didn't understand is that I do not value her pvssy any more than any other woman. ALL WOMEN ARE THE SAME. She will get no special treatment from me.

You know what.... I will bet you that she hasn't stopped thinking about me all week... this is how you get inside the head of a woman. Being nice and accommodating will get you no where.

I can understand some little things from what you said,but what exactly you think I should do right now ?? I am probably a nice guy, but I honestly feel that she is a nice girl and sometimes when she look at me,and I try to ignore her, I feel really bad.I don't have any other option left. I have stopped talking to her and if I go and talk to her now, I really don't have anything to say and I also think that it won't serve any purpose. The things you mentioned, will take a lot of time to read, and right now, I just hope for a temporary solution, so that I don't feel sad without her and I don't want to show her that I am really missing her. I really don't know what to do.I think there is no possibility that I can get her back, but I know if I behave in such a manner that I am doing right now, she also has no options but to let me go.

I also can't tolerate the fact that she might be going out with other guys.I really feel bad. Also, I understand that saying sorry is worthless, in this scenario.

 

[Von]

Maybe you should express that to her ?

Persistance well used is good

Women are easy if you understand them (they reverse our thinking etc...). If you want her to be interested you have to touch her emotional part..... do stuff that don't make sense for you in a way.... if it doesn't make sense it means it will for them.

The more your experienced, the more you'll understand that and it will become a second nature.

You have to build up your frame, she has to see you with other women.... you have to built her interest cause the other guys seems to have higher chances now.

If you make those moves always be confident, humour, ''nice''.... don't show anger or jealousy cause then you are dead

 

[hell29]

Hey Eric,
you are a nice guy. Too nice I believe. May I ask how old you are?


Did you escalate in any way? Did you kiss her, had sex? If not, but you wanted to then your time was indeed wasted. Not by her, but by yourself.

Discussing a woman into a relationship, were you? Listen, that's never going to happen.

Sorry for what?

The good news is you found that forum. Maybe too late for getting her, but in time to not to make the same mistakes over and over again.

Start with Pooks 15 Lessons
http://www.mts.net/~bpony/djbible/

I am 22.No ,i neither kiss her nor had sex. I can understand what you are saying but right now,I just need something temporary.I don't know whether after 2 months of NC,should I talk to her or not.
and moreover i don't know what to say to her.But, right now the situation is that I think she is moving on and I feel that may be I did a mistake by breaking the contact.i know everything is messed up.
Should i talk to her ? But then i feel that she also didn't take any initiative to talk to me.

I wanted to say sorry to her as I abruptly stopped talking to her. I know my approach from the begining was not right, but right now I need some solutions to fix the situation.Thanks

 

[Lozboss]

You have a lot of issues you need to work through. Nice guy syndrome, white knight, too shy, too beta, the list goes on and on.

My advice. Forget this girl and read the material available on this site. Specifically, the DJ bible. Also read Stop Being A Nice Guy, Sex God and The Manipulated Man.

They will open up your eyes because right now, you're living in a pathetic reality about women and it's clouding your judgement.

El Payaso has it right.

You need to stop with this girl and open your eyes before you starting dating anyone else. There are a number of big issues you have that need solving.

 

[LiveYourDream]

There is nothing to fix with her, even though your mind tells you there is. Your mind is seeking out an excuse to have contact. It will create more excuses beyond an unnecessary apology. Next you will be convinced you need to save her from these other men. Let me be clear...you have nothing to apologize for!! Approaching her with an unnecessary apology will only make you look incredibly insecure--not attractive at all.

What to do right now, with this intensity of emotion you feel? Focus it on you and becoming a solid, secure, confident man. Right now you are the opposite. Leave her alone and stay no contact. She will see other men. Accept that. Your focus is to become a better version of yourself so in the future when you are attracted to a woman, you can handle it from strength and confidence rather than insecurity and neediness.

Her absence in your life is not the problem. Being with her is not going to make you a better man. You may like or even think you love her. The love you project is not from wholeness and a place of having something to really give, but from insecurity and neediness.

Your own house is on fire! You need to put that fire out before you give attention anywhere else.

It may be the hardest thing you have ever done, yet, but let her go. Get her off your mind. Focus on and take the steps to becoming a better man, for you and for the benefit of the rest of your life.

 

[thekhris]

NC only works if shes sees youre doing fine on your life without her but not that distant that it will discourage her to make a move on you.NC is all about making her realize your value and get her to make a move.The right things is do the NC, if she communicates be polite but indifferent. The 1st mistake that you did is when she shows she is interested with you, you prolong the nice guy persona too long that the attraction and hotness she felt towards you faded and the time she tells you she is confuced about her feelings towards you that is already the fading stage. It's this simple, make her feel safe with you, make her feel comfortable with you, listen to her be sensitive to her and once you settled the ( your a safe guy to be with persona ) make a gentle sexual move on her, oftenly girls will not pull back on sexual move once you establish trust and comfort but if she pull back is because she got suprised or she is not expecting it and that's normal so dont panic. Just repeat your safe guy persona and if she keeps communicating with you after that sexual move, once youre are both together repeat the sexual move again, do it again and again, safe and comfortable guy to be with then make a gentle sexual move until she gave in. Settling a deal to a girl to have a relationship is not the same as doing a business deal where you do this meeting, propose to her and she will agree on the proposal. Its all about feelings, and sexual attraction and my friend.. is all about human nature, ticking the mind, hormones and science . Many times over since Im a nice guy oftenly girls would expect that I will be just put on their LJBF list.. well until I open a topic about sex and carefully leveling things up little by little but maintaing all my effort to maintain the "im a safe guy"

 

[Yewki]

There was this girl, whom i talked to and proposed her...

I finally took the courage to ask her again finally after 2 months.

You proposed to her? Twice? ... Why?

A man who presses a relationship with a girl is typically a desperate man without options.

You should look to change this, if for no other reason women find these qualities repulsive.

 

[RangerMIke]

I can understand some little things from what you said,but what exactly you think I should do right now ??

Read the DJ Bible and Book of Pook.... you need to learn the true nature of women and how to properly act like a man around them. There is no magic pill you have to work on yourself.

I am probably a nice guy, but I honestly feel that she is a nice girl and sometimes when she look at me,and I try to ignore her, I feel really bad.I don't have any other option left.

Okay.... never ignore a women. You only walk away from women when they have demonstrated they don;t have any interest in you. It isn't done with the intent to get her back (although sometimes that happens) you do it because you have to move on and get other women.

I have stopped talking to her and if I go and talk to her now, I really don't have anything to say and I also think that it won't serve any purpose. The things you mentioned, will take a lot of time to read, and right now, I just hope for a temporary solution,

You've already exhibited too much weak behavior... it's not likely you can turn this around.... I recommend you take the time and educate yourself, and come back to this girl when you're in a better mindset. But if you are hell bent of trying, then the only thing I can suggest is that you just go up to her and ask her out... if she says no.... disappear and come back in a couple of weeks and ask her out again. Meanwhile go out with other girls. I she says no a second time well, do what you want... but your chances of her changing her mind about you is practically nil.

so that I don't feel sad without her and I don't want to show her that I am really missing her. I really don't know what to do.I think there is no possibility that I can get her back, but I know if I behave in such a manner that I am doing right now, she also has no options but to let me go.

She already knows EXACTLY how you feel about her. You can't hide anything from women. Most attractive women have lots of options with other dudes. The good news is that most guys are just like you and the other guys will have as much success as you have, unless you turn yourself around.

I also can't tolerate the fact that she might be going out with other guys.I really feel bad. Also, I understand that saying sorry is worthless, in this scenario.

That's your fvcking EGO, you need to kill that sh!t. That will mess you up faster than anything else. Don't take rejection personal, look at it as screening so you can focus on other girls. You get rejected... move on. You don't own her and she doesn't own you.... get used to that... easiest way is to start going out with other girls.

 

[Asmodeus]

You have nothing to say sorry to her for. Are you just looking to make yourself feel better? No, you will not feel better because this has nothing to do with your guilt. I do not understand guilt well, but I understand enough to realize that this is not it.
She is not innocent, you only make her out to be because you idolize her. You put her on a pedestal and she became more to you than just another girl.
You have turned her into your own personal goddess... But in truth she is just a girl.
And you will meet many girls, ones with better qualities than her if you just open your eyes to the reality of the situation

Oh and another thing. If you did end up with her it would be a very tough relationship. You idolize her and she does not idolize you in the same way. You will suffer to try to please your "goddess" give up your own pleasure only to feed hers and be left empty. Your own life will be defined by her... Not by you.

Define your own life... Your misplaced guilt is a weakness, your idealization of her over your own life is a weakness.

 

[hell29]

There is nothing to fix with her, even though your mind tells you there is. Your mind is seeking out an excuse to have contact. It will create more excuses beyond an unnecessary apology. Next you will be convinced you need to save her from these other men. Let me be clear...you have nothing to apologize for!! Approaching her with an unnecessary apology will only make you look incredibly insecure--not attractive at all.

What to do right now, with this intensity of emotion you feel? Focus it on you and becoming a solid, secure, confident man. Right now you are the opposite. Leave her alone and stay no contact. She will see other men. Accept that. Your focus is to become a better version of yourself so in the future when you are attracted to a woman, you can handle it from strength and confidence rather than insecurity and neediness.

Her absence in your life is not the problem. Being with her is not going to make you a better man. You may like or even think you love her. The love you project is not from wholeness and a place of having something to really give, but from insecurity and neediness.

Your own house is on fire! You need to put that fire out before you give attention anywhere else.

It may be the hardest thing you have ever done, yet, but let her go. Get her off your mind. Focus on and take the steps to becoming a better man, for you and for the benefit of the rest of your life.

I am trying to move on and forget her. But the thing is that I fear that by not talking to her, and the way I am behaving in front of her(as if i don't care whatever has happened), I feel that she will move on and will find someone else. These days she is online on facebook a lot and I think she has already found someone else. Don't know why, but it hurts as I think that she might be talking to some other guy. Why do i have this negative feeling ?? and may be yes, I fear losing her to someone else as I feel that she is so innocent and its very difficult to get such a girl.

How can I make her feel attractive towards me or if moving on is the only possible option left, then how do i cope up with these feelings ??

 

[hell29]

hi everyone,

I just wanted to first inform you all that the bible is really a great work. I really could relate to whatever was written in the same.

Now, back to my question.
The previous story is written in the post above.I recently talked to this girl after 2 months of NC. I HAD IGNORED her after all her rejecting me, and deleted my watsapp number as well. So i was guilty of the way I behaved and it was becoming awkward between us.

this time, I just wanted to talk to her, not to make things work but so that i don't feel bad for whatever happened and i can move on. I messaged her on fb, and she was fine with that . but then i met her in the lecture and we talked and she was really happy to talk to me. I could see, that was enjoying talking to me and she even made a remark that she used to hate me in the winters(she didn't say it directly) when i did all that to her.

so, i kept things lite and was just joking and all. she also looked at me in the lectures. what should be my next step ???

and is she just liking my attention or is there
smthng lese ??

 

[mrgoodstuff]

You have nothing to say sorry to her for. Are you just looking to make yourself feel better? No, you will not feel better because this has nothing to do with your guilt. I do not understand guilt well, but I understand enough to realize that this is not it.
She is not innocent, you only make her out to be because you idolize her. You put her on a pedestal and she became more to you than just another girl.
You have turned her into your own personal goddess... But in truth she is just a girl.
And you will meet many girls, ones with better qualities than her if you just open your eyes to the reality of the situation

Oh and another thing. If you did end up with her it would be a very tough relationship. You idolize her and she does not idolize you in the same way. You will suffer to try to please your "goddess" give up your own pleasure only to feed hers and be left empty. Your own life will be defined by her... Not by you.

Define your own life... Your misplaced guilt is a weakness, your idealization of her over your own life is a weakness.

You nailed this analysis and describe what happens to you during pedestalization very well... It leaves you empty...

 

[GetFit66]

So... I'm just going to say it and get flak for it. But it's the truth and will do you good.

You are a nice guy, and that is great, if you want to be that person great! Nothing wrong with it, it's respectable and nice to have and see in the world. However I also get the feeling you need to learn how to be a man, and how to flirt and be more attractive. This site can help you with that, granted it's methods as often *******ish and often land you according women, especially with the advice given by some of the posters on the forum. This site can help you with that, but there is still left a giant gap of personality, feeling other people out, being a great socializer etc. This site isn't the only way to pull women, there are many ways, you only pull the quality of women your rope is capable of pulling.

Number two. If you want to apologize and end things nicely, you need to apologize, smile and be positive. And be firm. Quit being a daddling panzy.

Number three. Learn how to be happy and move on.

Number four. Only then and only then IMO should you consider trying things again.

Also Asmodeus sums you up well.

 

[Trump]

Hey all,

I am Eric. I need an advice from you all.

There was this girl, whom i talked to and proposed her. She said no as she was still involved with her ex at that time.

You asked a girl who was having constant daily sex with her ex boyfriend to be your lawfully wedded wife and the mother of your children? Come on bro.

I wanted to know, where we were heading.She again responded that the next few months are crucial academically and we need to focus on our studies as we have to sit for placements the next semester.She also said that she is confused for me right from the beginning and she didn't want to enter into something that she is confused about. Also, she told me that her previous relationship ended abruptly, so she was apprehensive towards relationships.

I ended the chat and its been 2 months NC since then and i haven't talked to her in college.

Now,i came to know that some of guys from my batch also like her and they are trying to talk to her.I feel really bad when i think that she might be going out with someone else and feel that she is very innocent and people might take advantage of her. I also feel guilty of the way i behaved and abruptly stopped talking to her.

I sometimes feel like saying sorry to her. I realy don't know what to do ??

Bro I don't think she is confused, I think you are confused:

- She was having sex with her ex when you asked her to marry you, she told you to go to hell.
- You asked her "where are we going in our relationship?" she responded she is too busy studying and her last relationship ended badly and she is afraid
- You haven't talked to her in 2 months
- Now she is having sex with one of your friends

And you want to tell her you are sorry you treated her badly? What if she slept with 2 of your friends, would you buy her a gift basket? Come on bro, she is a making your head spin like a merry go round and laughing while she is doing it.

 

[marmel75]

I can understand some little things from what you said,but what exactly you think I should do right now ?? I am probably a nice guy, but I honestly feel that she is a nice girl and sometimes when she look at me,and I try to ignore her, I feel really bad.I don't have any other option left. I have stopped talking to her and if I go and talk to her now, I really don't have anything to say and I also think that it won't serve any purpose. The things you mentioned, will take a lot of time to read, and right now, I just hope for a temporary solution, so that I don't feel sad without her and I don't want to show her that I am really missing her. I really don't know what to do.I think there is no possibility that I can get her back, but I know if I behave in such a manner that I am doing right now, she also has no options but to let me go.

I also can't tolerate the fact that she might be going out with other guys.I really feel bad. Also, I understand that saying sorry is worthless, in this scenario.

Nice is irrelevant. Nice guys can get laid if they are not afraid to show their sexual side. Were you being sexual with her? Touching? Talking sexually to her? Whispering in her ear how sexy she is and then grabbing her hand and putting it on your d!ck? A woman needs to know you are going to be able to deliver when it counts and guys that are afraid to express their sexuality definitely will not.

Basically you are friend zoned so far down consider it the Grand Canyon. Even if you spend all you energy to climb 3,000 feet upwards, you still have another 2,000 to go. Stop wasting time on unproductive behavior.