My sisters have no respect for anyone and are slobs

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Me and my brother are getting quite sick and tired of my sisters ruining the house with how sloppy they are. They always eat whatever food we have and never clean up after themselves unless told to numerous times, in which case there is an unsurmountable amount of attitude given, and they don't wash their plates or utensils, they merely put it in the sink. Me and my brother end up having to wash it a lot of the times. They constantly insult us (especially the older one) for absolutely no reason at all. They just want to start an argument for some reason. One thing that is super annoying is that they will pick on an aspect about a person that they can't help. Me and my brother are very level headed but eventually he freaks out and so do I. I can't hit them cuz of the double standards that exist and they know it too. They don't contribute to the family at all and just leach off of us (again, especially the older one). She won't listen to my parents if they tell her to do something. Over time, I'm getting fed up with this, me and my brother are inching closer and closer to punching their lights out. I need some help with how to have them at least pick up after themselves.

 

[LiveYourDream]

More background please...
How old are they?
What are your parents' expectations of them?
How are your parents responding to their behavior?

 

[TheProspect]

Your sisters, and women in general, should respect the fact that a man won't hit her, not take advantage of it. That being said, it's totally out of your control whether they do or not. It's also out of your control whether they continue their negative and selfish behaviour... Knowing that, I would make a conscious effort into accepting that. Fighting and resisting it, even just mentally within your own thoughts, will only contribute to them chipping away at your sanity.

I don't believe there is a simple, quick way to change or fix anyone's behaviour. However, I do believe you can influence it. Is there one solid concrete way ? No. I think you need to experiment a little bit. Try different things. Off the top of my head; try being an example of what you'd like to see from your sisters, and don't sink to their level if it doesn't work. Try having a little heart to heart, concentrate on listening to them but also being heard and understood. Hell, write an assertive letter, without criticizing them, explaining how you feel and the impact their behaviour has on you. It's not corny to write your feelings to your sisters, they're not random girls, they're your family and they always will be.

At the end of the day, their behaviour is their responsibility and the only thing you can control is your own effort. Use that effort to change your reaction to the situation, instead of trying to change the situation. Otherwise you're just going to spend a lot of time and energy attempting to hopelessly change something that's beyond your control.

I assume you and your siblings are all still young. They'll eventually mature. If they don't, whatever, you're well-being shouldn't depend on anyone except you.

 

[Serenity]

They don't clean up their mess, they act all b!tchy about it and then you clean up their mess. What do we call that? Rewarding bad behavior!

Just refuse to wash up their sh!t, just don't do it. Let it build up, until there's no clean plates if you have to. When anyone starts complaining then point out the cause, the fact that they used all of it and didn't clean it. No matter how uncomfortable it gets simply just don't buckle under the pressure, if anyone says anything about it say you're doing as your sisters are doing. Put maximum amount of attention to the issue for everyone to see.

If they ask for anything then don't offer anything. If they don't have to be kind and fair then neither do you or your brother.

 

[TheProspect]

I say the next time they get in an arguement with you / start giving you attitude, slap them. Not a back hand or anything, just a good wake up call. Then tell them in a stern voice "We're done dealing with your lethargy and attitude. Either pull your weight around here and leave us alone or we will not do your share of the chores. Then the parents can deal with you." If your parents don't care, then threaten to start telling their friends / taking pictures of their pig sty and sending it to them / post it on social media.

5 years ago I would have agreed with you. I had the same mentality back then as you displayed in your post. Today, I'd have to respectfully disagree.

OP, I don't advocate hitting your sisters, or anyone for that matter, just because she doesn't live as you'd like her to. Whether your sisters lifestyles are acceptable in your eyes or not, is irrelevant. It doesn't give you the right to strike them. "Just a slap" is minimizing it.

Putting your hands on your sisters will cause them to resent you. No one has ever slapped me where I immediately thought, "gee, they're right, maybe I should listen to them." Violence, no matter how minor you want to portray it, doesn't solve anything. People who fear losing power or authority use it as an illusion that they are in control when really it displays a lack of self-control. It's the result of the inability to maturely respond to and handle situations.

Threatening to expose your sisters through social media is also childish, immature, and only stoops to their level. It will also build resentment with your sisters, which goes against what you're trying to accomplish.

You shouldn't have to physically intimidate, manipulate, or blackmail your sisters. When all is set and done, they're going to hate you if you do any of that.. and you're not going to feel good about yourself hitting them or blackmailing them... unless you're a sadist.

 

[RedBear]

I can't hit them cuz of the double standards that exist and they know it too.

lol, there is no double standard between siblings.

Convince and encourage your parents to not feed their leeching attitude. Understand where this behavior is coming from, what they want and, if possible, influence it.
Can you move out?

 

[Tictac]

Me and my brother are getting quite sick and tired of my sisters ruining the house with how sloppy they are. They always eat whatever food we have and never clean up after themselves unless told to numerous times, in which case there is an unsurmountable amount of attitude given, and they don't wash their plates or utensils, they merely put it in the sink. Me and my brother end up having to wash it a lot of the times. They constantly insult us (especially the older one) for absolutely no reason at all. They just want to start an argument for some reason. One thing that is super annoying is that they will pick on an aspect about a person that they can't help. Me and my brother are very level headed but eventually he freaks out and so do I. I can't hit them cuz of the double standards that exist and they know it too. They don't contribute to the family at all and just leach off of us (again, especially the older one). She won't listen to my parents if they tell her to do something. Over time, I'm getting fed up with this, me and my brother are inching closer and closer to punching their lights out. I need some help with how to have them at least pick up after themselves.

If you need to post here about sh*t like this, no wonder your sisters are dumping on you.

This is pure, unaldulterated whining worthy of a woman.

 

[HoneyHitter]

Stop doing things for them, unless they earned it by doing something for you.

And for the sake of your own sanity, move out the house as soon as possible. Your parents did a lousy job parenting the girls.

 

[El Payaso]

You guys should simply not do anything for them again. Just let it pile up. Wash your own plates but don't wash theirs.

I experienced the same thing growing up with my sisters and they were slobs. I don't know what it is with girls and being dirty. Their rooms were nasty too. Clothes all over the floor and bed, makeup strewn everywhere, junk littered everywhere and old plates with bits of food scattered on the floor.

This wasn't just something I witnessed with my sisters growing up but also something I saw in some women's apartments when I started dating. More and more women are just becoming hobos who find it difficult to lift a finger and clean after themselves.

I'm not even talking about cleaning after others just cleaning after themselves has become a monumental task. If I ever have a daughter, I'll be damned if she lives like a hobo in my house.

 

[parkthebus]

If you constantly point out the decrepencies to your parents, but in a way that suggests you're just venting rather than trying to change their opinions, they will gradually come to feel the same way. Plant the seed.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

More background please...
How old are they?
What are your parents' expectations of them?
How are your parents responding to their behavior?

The younger one is 13, the older is 18. The older one is worse. Their expectations are relatively the same as mine and my brothers: get good grades, study, no smoking, drinking, etc. dont do anything else that is stupid. They're expectations are a tad bit harder on me and my brother because we are men (their words), but overall it's the same. My parents get sick of telling them so often and they work a lot too so they are too tired to really notice or arent around enough to notice.

I say the next time they get in an arguement with you / start giving you attitude, slap them. Not a back hand or anything, just a good wake up call. Then tell them in a stern voice "We're done dealing with your lethargy and attitude. Either pull your weight around here and leave us alone or we will not do your share of the chores. Then the parents can deal with you." If your parents don't care, then threaten to start telling their friends / taking pictures of their pig sty and sending it to them / post it on social media.

Think of the chinks in their armor. What really presses their buttons? Attack that. If it comes to it, a little physical violence is not the end of the world man. Brothers and sisters fight, that's what they do. However, you do NOT punch them or do anything that could really hurt them. We all know the strength difference between men and women. Hell my sister can't even bench a bar, I can bench 180. There's no wonder who would really hurt who. Same with you guys, I'm assuming. Usually I advocate level-headedness with women and hissy-fits, but with sisters sometimes you need to display your strength. This way they can't get away with this blatantly lazy behavior.

I have deleted all social media and dont wish yo deal with it in all honesty, but i will consider everything else.

They don't clean up their mess, they act all b!tchy about it and then you clean up their mess. What do we call that? Rewarding bad behavior!

Just refuse to wash up their sh!t, just don't do it. Let it build up, until there's no clean plates if you have to. When anyone starts complaining then point out the cause, the fact that they used all of it and didn't clean it. No matter how uncomfortable it gets simply just don't buckle under the pressure, if anyone says anything about it say you're doing as your sisters are doing. Put maximum amount of attention to the issue for everyone to see.

If they ask for anything then don't offer anything. If they don't have to be kind and fair then neither do you or your brother.

We have tried that, it gets blamed on us for not doing what was normal for us to do. But now we only pick up after ourselves. Everything gets all messy, but at least we do less woek. My dad especially gets sick of it. My mom doesn't care too much. I don't get it to be honest, the women in my family seem to love living in filth, but us guys don't. It should be the complete polar opposite.

lol, there is no double standard between siblings.

Convince and encourage your parents to not feed their leeching attitude. Understand where this behavior is coming from, what they want and, if possible, influence it.
Can you move out?

It's because they're lazy as hell and never really had to do it or because they still jave a child mindset. No, I can't move out yet.

You guys should simply not do anything for them again. Just let it pile up. Wash your own plates but don't wash theirs.

I experienced the same thing growing up with my sisters and they were slobs. I don't know what it is with girls and being dirty. Their rooms were nasty too. Clothes all over the floor and bed, makeup strewn everywhere, junk littered everywhere and old plates with bits of food scattered on the floor.

This wasn't just something I witnessed with my sisters growing up but also something I saw in some women's apartments when I started dating. More and more women are just becoming hobos who find it difficult to lift a finger and clean after themselves.

I'm not even talking about cleaning after others just cleaning after themselves has become a monumental task. If I ever have a daughter, I'll be damned if she lives like a hobo in my house.

Their room looks like a war zone. But it's their own room so it their own business. I try to stay out of it as much as possible.

If you constantly point out the decrepencies to your parents, but in a way that suggests you're just venting rather than trying to change their opinions, they will gradually come to feel the same way. Plant the seed.

They hate it too, but they kinda get sick of telling them after a while and just give up. Like all I can really do is annoy the hell out of them till thwy do SOMETHING but it isnt really worthy time.

 

[Serenity]

You need some form of leverage, something you can control that they want. If they won't do their part there's no reward for them, it should be something that would hurt losing.

Your parents should have that authority and leverage, mine did and they sure as fvck used it if I misbehaved and it worked very effectively. However they won't get far if they're not synced up and together about it, this brings up a scary possibility. The one that your sisters are a reflection of your mother, that your mother is somewhat a slob. You're a reflection of your father and both too weak to effectively change things for the better and take a lead.

I also find it completely unfair that more is expected of you as a man. A woman not living under expectations will spiral out of control and become slobs, hobos and other low-lifes.

Someone has to take responsibility and lead.

 

[LiveYourDream]

Get so busy with your own life and focusing on your own goals, that your mind just has no time to be bothered by their trivial sh!t. Become so focused on taking action to fulfill goals in your life, that you become indifferent to what they do or don't do.

If you are truly active and focused on being and becoming the best version of yourself, some extra dishes in the sink or rude words will just roll off you. Think of a great action movie, a man on a mission is so focused and busy to give his time and attention to anything that does not further his mission. He's not rude, disrespectful, or trying to control others. He just continually maneuvers around whatever is in his path, not giving it a second thought, staying focused on HIS mission at hand.

Set some goals that inspire you enough and call your attention so deeply that you couldn't care less about what they do or don't do. Focus on those goals and the actions required and become a better man in the process.

Don't ever let others, and especially their trivial behaviors or attitudes, derail you. Be stronger than that!

 

[logicallefty]

If you need to post here about sh*t like this, no wonder your sisters are dumping on you.

This is pure, unaldulterated whining worthy of a woman.

I thought it was a worthy post. Where else could he discuss it at?

 

[Bible_Belt]

Make a list of all the entertaining nicknames that you can think of for your sisters, like smelly, stinky, dirty....that's just the general idea. A good one will work in other details about her, too, or her name, something to make it stick. They both need derogatory nicknames that are catchy enough that other people in their life could pick them up. That's a woman's nightmare. And doing things like that are how women fight with each other. They spread snide, behind the back rumors that are crafted to erode social status.

 

[SmooveMooves]

Alot of men in game forget that it applies to ALL women. Not just women your trying to

Now its obviously too late for you now, but I have two younger sisters as well and since I was young I always made it known that I was the dominant party. I was stronger, smarter and I was to be respected.

It started as just a natural child thing but I realized I had been doing it instintually. My sisters are slobs too, but when I tell them to do something. They get up and get to it and they know never to disrespect me.

You can't change behavior permanetly, so thats as good as it gets. Eventually there comes a time when you have to accept people and there flaws.

 

[LiveYourDream]

Make a list of all the entertaining nicknames that you can think of for your sisters, like smelly, stinky, dirty....that's just the general idea. A good one will work in other details about her, too, or her name, something to make it stick. They both need derogatory nicknames that are catchy enough that other people in their life could pick them up. That's a woman's nightmare. And doing things like that are how women fight with each other. They spread snide, behind the back rumors that are crafted to erode social status.

Really? Is that the best he can do? When girls in high school annoy him, call them names? When girls in college annoy him, call them names? Women at his first job annoy him, call them names? Women in the boardroom annoy him, call them names? His mother or his own daughter, annoy him should he just cal them names? Really???

I see the opportunity here for him to learn THE SKILL of focus and taking responsibility for where he chooses to place his focus, his time, attention and energy.

If he allows himself to indulge in the pettiness of calling names or attempting to control anyone's insignificant behavior, to me that is a poor investment of his energy. How many minutes does he spend distracted and irritated maybe 2, multiply that by say give or take 5 times a day, times 365 days, times a lifetime of another 60 years. By those numbers he will then SPEND 3650 hours of HIS life, into caring about MEANINGLESS stuff others say or do. ONLY he can make what they say or do significant or not. Only he can decide if it's worth spending part of his life on.

I personally believe he is better served INVESTING/spending his time, energy and focus on what truly serves his goals and greater mission, whatever that is for him. The sooner he practices not being bothered now, the easier it will be through his life. Like any muscle, it get's stronger with use. True focus is a powerful capacity. It's not for the weak.

If one is concerned his sister's behavior is a sign of disrespect of him, I suggest it's only as significant as he makes it.

Imagine a very well built man walking down a street. Some goofball slaps him as he walks past. The built man can just laugh at the man's attempt to get his attention, while the built man continues on his way, giving no attention to the goofball. Or the built man can stop, and call the man out for being disrespectful. They can exchange words that get more heated by the moment, to display their dominance. Eventually as anticipated it comes to exchanging blows and the built man putting the goofball in his place, as it's called, before the built man continues on his way. What is gained? The goofball gained a sense of significance as he was able to garner the attention of the well built man enough to stop, acknowledge and then fight, regardless of losing. He gained the built man's time and attention which is significance to those who feel they lack it.

I believe a man who inherently knows his value, knows he has nothing to prove to others. The built man who simply walked past laughing at the goofball's attempt to get the built man's attention, inherently was secure enough himself, that he did not need to spend his own time and energy, bickering and fighting some goofy guy to prove anything to the goofy guy, other people nearby, or himself. The built man was a man on a mission who found the comedy in the idea that the goofball could believe he was significant enough to derail the built man from his mission. The built man on a mission might stop for a few things of true and meaningful significance that are indeed worth his time, but not some goof on the sidewalk seeking significance by picking a fight.

I say ignore the petty. Learn to discipline yourself to do that through your whole life. Let the petty stay with the petty. It's not worthy of your time and attention. Have a purpose that inspires you so much that you couldn't be bothered by the trivial behaviors of others. Be a man on a mission. Enjoy the rewards as well.

 

[Atom Smasher]

If you need to post here about sh*t like this, no wonder your sisters are dumping on you.

This is pure, unaldulterated whining worthy of a woman.

You having a bad day, Tictac?

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

You need some form of leverage, something you can control that they want. If they won't do their part there's no reward for them, it should be something that would hurt losing.

Your parents should have that authority and leverage, mine did and they sure as fvck used it if I misbehaved and it worked very effectively. However they won't get far if they're not synced up and together about it, this brings up a scary possibility. The one that your sisters are a reflection of your mother, that your mother is somewhat a slob. You're a reflection of your father and both too weak to effectively change things for the better and take a lead.

I also find it completely unfair that more is expected of you as a man. A woman not living under expectations will spiral out of control and become slobs, hobos and other low-lifes.

Someone has to take responsibility and lead.

You're right about my parents not being in sync. To be honest, I have no idea how they got married, they're complete opposites. My mom isn't super sloppy or anything, it's mostly cuz she hates doing all of the normal motherly stuff (cooking, cleaning, etc.) and cuz she works. I don't know where my sisters get their laziness from tbh. I'm no Mr. Clean, but I clean up. My brother is spartan clean lol. But I may have some forms of leverage over them, I'll keep that in mind.

Really? Is that the best he can do? When girls in high school annoy him, call them names? When girls in college annoy him, call them names? Women at his first job annoy him, call them names? Women in the boardroom annoy him, call them names? His mother or his own daughter, annoy him should he just cal them names? Really???

I see the opportunity here for him to learn THE SKILL of focus and taking responsibility for where he chooses to place his focus, his time, attention and energy.

If he allows himself to indulge in the pettiness of calling names or attempting to control anyone's insignificant behavior, to me that is a poor investment of his energy. How many minutes does he spend distracted and irritated maybe 2, multiply that by say give or take 5 times a day, times 365 days, times a lifetime of another 60 years. By those numbers he will then SPEND 3650 hours of HIS life, into caring about MEANINGLESS stuff others say or do. ONLY he can make what they say or do significant or not. Only he can decide if it's worth spending part of his life on.

I personally believe he is better served INVESTING/spending his time, energy and focus on what truly serves his goals and greater mission, whatever that is for him. The sooner he practices not being bothered now, the easier it will be through his life. Like any muscle, it get's stronger with use. True focus is a powerful capacity. It's not for the weak.

If one is concerned his sister's behavior is a sign of disrespect of him, I suggest it's only as significant as he makes it.

Imagine a very well built man walking down a street. Some goofball slaps him as he walks past. The built man can just laugh at the man's attempt to get his attention, while the built man continues on his way, giving no attention to the goofball. Or the built man can stop, and call the man out for being disrespectful. They can exchange words that get more heated by the moment, to display their dominance. Eventually as anticipated it comes to exchanging blows and the built man putting the goofball in his place, as it's called, before the built man continues on his way. What is gained? The goofball gained a sense of significance as he was able to garner the attention of the well built man enough to stop, acknowledge and then fight, regardless of losing. He gained the built man's time and attention which is significance to those who feel they lack it.

I believe a man who inherently knows his value, knows he has nothing to prove to others. The built man who simply walked past laughing at the goofball's attempt to get the built man's attention, inherently was secure enough himself, that he did not need to spend his own time and energy, bickering and fighting some goofy guy to prove anything to the goofy guy, other people nearby, or himself. The built man was a man on a mission who found the comedy in the idea that the goofball could believe he was significant enough to derail the built man from his mission. The built man on a mission might stop for a few things of true and meaningful significance that are indeed worth his time, but not some goof on the sidewalk seeking significance by picking a fight.

I say ignore the petty. Learn to discipline yourself to do that through your whole life. Let the petty stay with the petty. It's not worthy of your time and attention. Have a purpose that inspires you so much that you couldn't be bothered by the trivial behaviors of others. Be a man on a mission. Enjoy the rewards as well.

I agree with having a purpose and not being bothered. It makes sense to be so focused on yourself that everything else is a mere insignificance. But what happens when it starts to affect your goals? Not necessarily the big ones, just the small everyday ones that over time does build up into that 2 minutes per day of you trying to move around them.

Make a list of all the entertaining nicknames that you can think of for your sisters, like smelly, stinky, dirty....that's just the general idea. A good one will work in other details about her, too, or her name, something to make it stick. They both need derogatory nicknames that are catchy enough that other people in their life could pick them up. That's a woman's nightmare. And doing things like that are how women fight with each other. They spread snide, behind the back rumors that are crafted to erode social status.

I only call them names if they insult me while I'm eating or something like that where I can multitask, I don't go out of my way to do it unless it's to annoy the hell out of them into washing their dish or something.

 

[logicallefty]

@ImTheDoubleGreatest! If you want to give your family a real sanity test go loosen a cable that's hard to see and take the Internet down for the whole house! See who goes insane and who keeps their cool. Then laugh at them. How old is your mother? In her 30s? She may be the worst one!