Unhealthy woman, and how to deal with them!
- Thread starter Non Juan
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Metro3pilot
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did you ever hit that NonJuan ?
:rockon:
:rockon:
drmeathead
Senior Don Juan
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stay away from BDP! ****! seriously dont give advice how to get one of those girls. there is not reason to be with one. if yo desire the wild sex of a crazy girl that is sad borderline sick. for your own sake it isnt good to get involved but even as evil as these bpd girls come across, they are people too. they are nuts but cant help it. they really cant. my exbpdgf was a major pain in my ass and i eventually gave up but one of the things that kept me around was the look of fear in her eyes at times. to go **** one of these girls and the bounce as treating them for a sex toy only fuels more fire to their abandonment fears. seriously they are people. they have thoguhts and feelings. that is terrible to say to treat a mentally ill person like that. get some class
These guys are right. I found this site trying to deal with one of these loons. I'm a married guy that had an affair with a BPD that caught me at the worst possible time in my life and marriage and played me like a piano although I didn't see it at the time. Eventually she cut me off physically and used the LJBF tactic in an attempt to get me to leave my family. If I hadn't been in here, I might have fallen for it. After reading stuff in here, I had a whole new perspective on what had been going on. It let me pull my head out of my a$$, be strong, and deal with things. Things have never been better at home (it was surprisingly easy) and now my old BPD/oneitis is history in my mind.
When you first see the advice in here, a lot of times you don't like it, sometimes it seems counter-intuitive, but it's actually pretty damn sound. Ultimately you have to focus not one the relationship but on YOU. What will be best for your life, your self-respect, your mental health.
BPDs can give you moments where you think they are the answer to all of your life's dreams. They aren't. Run like hell UNLESS you can 100% keep your perspective. 99% of people can't so be honest with yourself.
This chick will suck you dry and not in the good way. There are cool, stable, emotional women out there, you just have to qualify them. I have one, I almost ditched her over a BPD. Would have been a huge mistake. All of us in here have made mistakes, that's how you learn.
Learn from our mistakes
When you first see the advice in here, a lot of times you don't like it, sometimes it seems counter-intuitive, but it's actually pretty damn sound. Ultimately you have to focus not one the relationship but on YOU. What will be best for your life, your self-respect, your mental health.
BPDs can give you moments where you think they are the answer to all of your life's dreams. They aren't. Run like hell UNLESS you can 100% keep your perspective. 99% of people can't so be honest with yourself.
This chick will suck you dry and not in the good way. There are cool, stable, emotional women out there, you just have to qualify them. I have one, I almost ditched her over a BPD. Would have been a huge mistake. All of us in here have made mistakes, that's how you learn.
Learn from our mistakes
Well the BPD/HPD co-woker girl (whatever she was) I was involved with, it started out amazing. She had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend (surprise!) and started taking an interest in me. Gorgeous girl, before this I never imagined a girl like this could be attracted to me (that's called low self-esteem).
I became the center of her universe for a few months there and it was like being on drugs. She was affectionate, called me all the damn time, emailed me all the time, was everywhere I was, it was too much. I was into her but it was almost suffocating me. She literally attached herself to my hip basically.
At some point I knew something was off... she acted like we had known each other forever and were perfect for each other, and I couldn't believe that I actually wanted space from HER, but I did. I just felt like she was using me and that she didn't care about me as a person. She did lots of things that were mean and cruel, then the next day would act like nothing ever happened--- I started becoming obsessed with her.
Anyway I realized, she's using me. She doesn't care for me. I don't know why I did this, but I called her out and told her I thought she was nuts and that she was using me and that we should just leave each other alone (had no clue about any of the stuff I've learned from this site).
The next few months were the worst of my life. This girl did everything in her power to make me feel like crap, mainly trying to make me jealous by flirting with guys right next to me, while I listened to my iPod and acted like I couldn't see or hear what she was doing. I couldn't take it. I wanted to apologize to her, anything just to make her cruelty stop. She acted like I didn't even exist. She would ignore me, but park her car next to mine. Which was unsettling because at this point I thought maybe she was trying to "communicate with me" that way and that we would make things right. She would do that for a few weeks then park her car somewhere else, totally throwing me off that fantasy. Then I figured, ok, now she's just over it, and she's avoiding me, good. Let's just drop it. That would go for a week or two then she'd start parking next to me again. I was basically a prisoner of her moods. It sounds stupid but I got to the point where my entire day was based on where she parked her freaking car. And even though at this point I hated her---when she DIDN'T park next to me, I felt rejected.
Eventually I decided, this is absolutely crazy. I'm just going to park my car down the street and just stop playing this game. And I was scared to do it, I felt like I would get in trouble. So I'd park my car far away, and who comes zooming by screeching her tires?
Then, maybe I'd see her outside and she'd be really nice, like nothing had ever happened...and I thought "ok NOW she's over it. Finally." Then an hour later she'd come into my office and throw herself at the guy sitting next to me, laughing, being all sexual... and I would just listen to the iPod and ignore her. And the more I did that, the more she tried. Ignoring these girls is the worst thing you can do to them.
It's just a constant game of pulling you close, smacking you around, then ignoring you.... over and over. I couldn't sleep for months. It's called "Walking on eggshells" for a reason. For a few months there I don't think I got more than a couple hours of sleep a night. I was basically dead, couldn't enjoy time with friends, couldn't concentrate at work, I just withdrew into a shell. All the joy of life, gone. And the whole time I wanted to be with her. I'm seriously lucky to even be here talking about this, because I didn't think I'd make it.
I finally discovered what BPD was and learned to ignore her for GOOD, she kept trying to get my attention but after a few months of this she got a new job and split. It's been about a year now and it still gives me the chills, but there was something in me that allowed a girl like this into my life. I guess posting this helps to give me some closure.
I guess the point I'm making is, these gorgeous girls can make you feel like a million dollars, but you have no clue what you're getting involved with. And if you think you're strong enough to take it, you really should look in the mirror and ask why you would want to go down this road.
For me it was actually good, because it got to show me all the things in myself that had to change.
I became the center of her universe for a few months there and it was like being on drugs. She was affectionate, called me all the damn time, emailed me all the time, was everywhere I was, it was too much. I was into her but it was almost suffocating me. She literally attached herself to my hip basically.
At some point I knew something was off... she acted like we had known each other forever and were perfect for each other, and I couldn't believe that I actually wanted space from HER, but I did. I just felt like she was using me and that she didn't care about me as a person. She did lots of things that were mean and cruel, then the next day would act like nothing ever happened--- I started becoming obsessed with her.
Anyway I realized, she's using me. She doesn't care for me. I don't know why I did this, but I called her out and told her I thought she was nuts and that she was using me and that we should just leave each other alone (had no clue about any of the stuff I've learned from this site).
The next few months were the worst of my life. This girl did everything in her power to make me feel like crap, mainly trying to make me jealous by flirting with guys right next to me, while I listened to my iPod and acted like I couldn't see or hear what she was doing. I couldn't take it. I wanted to apologize to her, anything just to make her cruelty stop. She acted like I didn't even exist. She would ignore me, but park her car next to mine. Which was unsettling because at this point I thought maybe she was trying to "communicate with me" that way and that we would make things right. She would do that for a few weeks then park her car somewhere else, totally throwing me off that fantasy. Then I figured, ok, now she's just over it, and she's avoiding me, good. Let's just drop it. That would go for a week or two then she'd start parking next to me again. I was basically a prisoner of her moods. It sounds stupid but I got to the point where my entire day was based on where she parked her freaking car. And even though at this point I hated her---when she DIDN'T park next to me, I felt rejected.
Eventually I decided, this is absolutely crazy. I'm just going to park my car down the street and just stop playing this game. And I was scared to do it, I felt like I would get in trouble. So I'd park my car far away, and who comes zooming by screeching her tires?
Then, maybe I'd see her outside and she'd be really nice, like nothing had ever happened...and I thought "ok NOW she's over it. Finally." Then an hour later she'd come into my office and throw herself at the guy sitting next to me, laughing, being all sexual... and I would just listen to the iPod and ignore her. And the more I did that, the more she tried. Ignoring these girls is the worst thing you can do to them.
It's just a constant game of pulling you close, smacking you around, then ignoring you.... over and over. I couldn't sleep for months. It's called "Walking on eggshells" for a reason. For a few months there I don't think I got more than a couple hours of sleep a night. I was basically dead, couldn't enjoy time with friends, couldn't concentrate at work, I just withdrew into a shell. All the joy of life, gone. And the whole time I wanted to be with her. I'm seriously lucky to even be here talking about this, because I didn't think I'd make it.
I finally discovered what BPD was and learned to ignore her for GOOD, she kept trying to get my attention but after a few months of this she got a new job and split. It's been about a year now and it still gives me the chills, but there was something in me that allowed a girl like this into my life. I guess posting this helps to give me some closure.
I guess the point I'm making is, these gorgeous girls can make you feel like a million dollars, but you have no clue what you're getting involved with. And if you think you're strong enough to take it, you really should look in the mirror and ask why you would want to go down this road.
For me it was actually good, because it got to show me all the things in myself that had to change.
jophil28
Master Don Juan
Take it from an old veteran who has been there, Personality Disordered femmes ( Cluster Bs) are pure evil.
IF you CANNOT separate yourself from her entirely because of circumstances then do this-
So to the store and buy some of those K9 Doggy Bites and stick a couple in your pocket . Then get a rolled up newspaper . Keep it handy at all times.
Do you get my message ? Nothing else that you could do would be as effective.
IF you CANNOT separate yourself from her entirely because of circumstances then do this-
So to the store and buy some of those K9 Doggy Bites and stick a couple in your pocket . Then get a rolled up newspaper . Keep it handy at all times.
Do you get my message ? Nothing else that you could do would be as effective.
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[S]alvatore
Master Don Juan
Ignore that fu<king b!tch, girls like that disgust me.
Non Juan said:
What do you think most of us are?
Do you ever talk about any of these don juanish beliefs with people? I had a girl the other day tell me she thinks women are encouraged to be more feminine and men are encouraged to be more masculine. Funny, i have no idea where that is coming from given that women nowadays act, dress, and fvck freely like men while men are encouraged to cry and talk about their feelings and generally act like little subserviant b1tches to get women. *This* kind of stuff is the general belief. We are the crazy ones for believing otherwise.
I'm learning more and more to just keep my mouth shut because next to no one wants to hear your opinion if it's not towing the general public opinion... hell, forget opinion based stuff, they don't even want to listen to solid facts if they conflict with their worldview. I am downright put off as a nutjob if I give my real opinion on things - things you guys preach on here all the time but if given the light of day in public come off as "negative or warped beliefs" only to be listened to for entertainment value as if you are some political commentator on the radio paid to cause controversy.
Metro3pilot - No I never got with her, i'm not that much of a player to be honest, but I am developing a really good understanding about women in general, and am aspiring to become better at getting the kind of women I want.
For the record, I now ignore her when i'm at the supermarket where she works, she's come into my vicinity speaking loudly etc. but I keep my focus on what i'm doing and leave. I figure i'll see her out sometime in the near future, and i'd rather leave all of the tension to build up until we can 'make friends' in a more fitting environment!
She might not be BPD, but she's deffo very insecure, but she may also be harmless with it. She's very attractive, and she automatically senses the power dynamic if you try to get with her through normal means. I think she likes a bit of drama but I don't know if she's a total loon. I'm not really thinking about her anymore.. if it happens, it happens.
Mr Ruckus - I don't really get what you mean by your Q, but no, I don't usually talk about this stuff with people in general, even my mates. I've tried, but most of them do seem to subscribe to the social conventions that have been presented to us through the media etc, and are quite happy in that comfort zone.
It's frustrating, because I would really like to go out sarging with someone so that we could work together and learn about this area of life, have fun with it and really get something valuable. But they are all too ***** to act, or blockers themselves without realising it.
One of my mates, he's a sucker for a lass who is sending him to the bloody launderette to do her drying, and then bollocking him for the clothes not being dry enough on his return! He's still not tried to kiss her (because deep down he knows the truth), he reckons once she sees him drum, that will 'seal the deal'. If he'd just pull his head out of his ass he could sack her off and we could go on an adventure, but he doesn't want to hear my advice (the cold hard truth!) and gets all defensive when I offer it. I'll leave him to make his own mistakes.. over, and over...
Reset - Holy ****! That's a very entertaining story, sorry it had to be at your expense mate. I guess the term 'Bunny Boiler' didn't come from nowhere!
I think on reading that, if you had given another excuse for your breaking with her, ie 'I like you so much but I need to focus on myself right now, i'm not ready to get close to someone as amazing as you'... then maybe she wouldn't have put you through all that... A woman scorned and all that... I think I have a habit of 'scorning' women, and paying the price, I need to address it because it comes from my own insecurities. Gonna post about that in the future I reckon.
For the record, I now ignore her when i'm at the supermarket where she works, she's come into my vicinity speaking loudly etc. but I keep my focus on what i'm doing and leave. I figure i'll see her out sometime in the near future, and i'd rather leave all of the tension to build up until we can 'make friends' in a more fitting environment!
She might not be BPD, but she's deffo very insecure, but she may also be harmless with it. She's very attractive, and she automatically senses the power dynamic if you try to get with her through normal means. I think she likes a bit of drama but I don't know if she's a total loon. I'm not really thinking about her anymore.. if it happens, it happens.
Mr Ruckus - I don't really get what you mean by your Q, but no, I don't usually talk about this stuff with people in general, even my mates. I've tried, but most of them do seem to subscribe to the social conventions that have been presented to us through the media etc, and are quite happy in that comfort zone.
It's frustrating, because I would really like to go out sarging with someone so that we could work together and learn about this area of life, have fun with it and really get something valuable. But they are all too ***** to act, or blockers themselves without realising it.
One of my mates, he's a sucker for a lass who is sending him to the bloody launderette to do her drying, and then bollocking him for the clothes not being dry enough on his return! He's still not tried to kiss her (because deep down he knows the truth), he reckons once she sees him drum, that will 'seal the deal'. If he'd just pull his head out of his ass he could sack her off and we could go on an adventure, but he doesn't want to hear my advice (the cold hard truth!) and gets all defensive when I offer it. I'll leave him to make his own mistakes.. over, and over...
Reset - Holy ****! That's a very entertaining story, sorry it had to be at your expense mate. I guess the term 'Bunny Boiler' didn't come from nowhere!
I think on reading that, if you had given another excuse for your breaking with her, ie 'I like you so much but I need to focus on myself right now, i'm not ready to get close to someone as amazing as you'... then maybe she wouldn't have put you through all that... A woman scorned and all that... I think I have a habit of 'scorning' women, and paying the price, I need to address it because it comes from my own insecurities. Gonna post about that in the future I reckon.
Non Juan - this is the best description I've ever seen of how hot borderlines lead on guys building "illusion of bond" for their own brief emotional validation and then discarding all to friend zone, which most dudes happily accept.
I too am curious how to game bpds
Another great post!
It's astonishing how similar everyone's bpd experience is. Like they are all following a playbook.
I think we run into these girls more often because they are 1) Hot 2) single. 3) extroverted/fun (out at bars, etc).
All the hot/cool girls I grew up with were married by 25 (I mean all of them, like 20/20 from HS and 20/20 from college none made it to 25 without a great dude locking them down.
ChrisFloyd
Banned
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Yeah, and tell them not to eat the same food everyday + give them some roids.
Von
Master Don Juan
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Sounds the type of women I like lol.... including the one I just wrote a post about it.
Seriously, I am lucky I had good girls in my life, my first and only real gf was a bit like that.... however I did a lot of soul searching and found out, I am in the cerebral narcissist.... so I am attracted to intense emotional ones .
However, since I found out who I want to be, my passions, what I want and where I am going and came to term with my ''cerebral narcissist side''. I act more ''natural'' and attract girls like crazy but having them is another story.... cause they seem boring.
Anyway, I'll check if the girl I wrote about is BPD or just has major trust issues which I will gladly build a wall for her
PS: I write this, cause I logged in last night and saw like 10 post about BPD and Narcissist lol and when I read, its totally me and if I recall my social interactions/gf/sex life
Seriously, I am lucky I had good girls in my life, my first and only real gf was a bit like that.... however I did a lot of soul searching and found out, I am in the cerebral narcissist.... so I am attracted to intense emotional ones .
However, since I found out who I want to be, my passions, what I want and where I am going and came to term with my ''cerebral narcissist side''. I act more ''natural'' and attract girls like crazy but having them is another story.... cause they seem boring.
Anyway, I'll check if the girl I wrote about is BPD or just has major trust issues which I will gladly build a wall for her
PS: I write this, cause I logged in last night and saw like 10 post about BPD and Narcissist lol and when I read, its totally me and if I recall my social interactions/gf/sex life
marmel75
Master Don Juan
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Sounds good...just make sure it's something non-virilizing like Anavar tho...don't want their cl!t growing into a d!ck...they might end up more hung than you...lmao!
Killakittie
Senior Don Juan
You really want to know what fooling around with a bpd women will get you? Here you go, I've always been good with women, got laid all the time. I had no idea bpd even existed and then I married her! I kicked her out and will be filing for divorce but you know what? She's still in my ****ing head. I still want her, even though she's threatening to kill me. This is mental and emotional hell, I'm defeated mentally, and I can't seem to get away from her. Run like bloody hell and please don't mess around with her! It's going to take years for me to get my mojo back, at this point it's a daily struggle. Her claws are in me, in my soul, I'm ****ed.
That knife wound below was caused during crazy sex, she had it hidden under the blanket, and pulled it out while she was riding and started slicing. Claiming i deserved it because I had did something to piss her off.
That knife wound below was caused during crazy sex, she had it hidden under the blanket, and pulled it out while she was riding and started slicing. Claiming i deserved it because I had did something to piss her off.
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
They call women like her "black widows", they suck the juice out of you till your depleted of life. She will be trading pain for any pleasure she allows you to feel, and in the end it's definately not worth it. They really get a kick when the figure out they can hurt you alot more from not helping you, not being sexual with you and cheating on you ontop of it.You really want to know what fooling around with a bpd women will get you? Here you go, I've always been good with women, got laid all the time. I had no idea bpd even existed and then I married her! I kicked her out and will be filing for divorce but you know what? She's still in my ****ing head. I still want her, even though she's threatening to kill me. This is mental and emotional hell, I'm defeated mentally, and I can't seem to get away from her. Run like bloody hell and please don't mess around with her! It's going to take years for me to get my mojo back, at this point it's a daily struggle. Her claws are in me, in my soul, I'm ****ed.
That knife wound below was caused during crazy sex, she had it hidden under the blanket, and pulled it out while she was riding and started slicing. Claiming i deserved it because I had did something to piss her off.
Killakittie
Senior Don Juan
Her dad's a traditional Mexican, boss of the house, his way or the highway type. She was kept in the house locked up and only allowed to go to school and one hour outside a day. Not sure if that means anything. Relationship was very hot and furious, there was plenty of red flags but like i said I didn't even know what bpd was so I got hit full force.
