I originally made this message intended for one recipient who seemed to have had a similar issue as me, but don't know when he'll be on. Therefore I'll just throw it out for you guys to assess and hopefully provide some suggestions I haven't thought of yet. I would like to think I'm red pill but don't let that stop you from throwing some red pill knowledge at me. Mind you readers, this definitely isn't a brag post. Much to this recent year, my usual choice of wear going out have been a plain wrinkled shirt and some gym shorts/clothes lol. I see my looks as a versatile tool for when I want it, not something that really makes me valuable. I'll provide somewhat detail experiences to give good context to my situation and for others to see what it's like on the "favorable looks" side of things
I'm in my mid-20's (look younger), 5'11/160lbs, and live in Hawaii currently. I haven't been out many times in the last year because of a habit of just going to work and picking up essentials at the store etc, so most of what I've experienced happened before when I used to go out more. When I was a teenager until 24 yrs old, I always thought I had a "good" face and that some women might perceive me as "cute." The problem was that I wasn't getting "a lot" of attention from women, though they had usually treated me nicely. You see, I was very skinny throughout the years, ranging from 120lbs-145 lbs. When I was 24, I decided to hit the gym again after a long hiatus and have the proper diet for finally gaining muscle mass that time around.
The results were phenomenal. I had gain 15+ lbs (some muscle, part fat) and started to notice a lot more stares my way. Whenever I went out to bars/clubs women would stare at me, orbit me, and bump into me a lot. When I learned to dress better, the reactions got even more drastic. I actually had a woman impulsively gasp out loud when she saw me (she immediately after pulled herself together) and the rest of the nearby girl groups in the venue stopped what they were doing to look at me in awe. I've been approached several times and been offered a drink on a few occasions. Just the other night, some drunk fat chick kept yelling out aggressively to ask if I was single and embarrassed herself by falling into the curtain behind her, mistaking it for a wall lol. Right after, her drunk cousin clumsily embraced me with her body and wrapped arm, nearly making me fall, and apologized for the fat cousin being so goofy, only to use that chance to get with me too! After I'd nicely rejected her because of the near-fall incident she caused, she later found me on the dance floor and danced against me though I was clearly ignoring her as she did so. (I rejected few women in recent years, my standards aren't that high FYI)
During interactions, I've been complimented by women calling me cute, pretty, hot, handsome, and beautiful. Sometimes, these words were the first thing a woman would say in an interaction. It's like women take pleasure in and feel it's their duty to tell me how great I look. (On the mainland once, a woman right before sex, though she was drunk, told me I was the most attractive person she's seen!)
On many nightly occasions women would open up easily and talk to me (until I ****ed it up). I even started to notice that friends of my "targets" were ****-blocking me less and less, and in some situations the groups of friends would enthusiastically encourage the girl to talk to me (though again I would **** it up ha)! Females at times seemed more helpful too, even in unusual ways. I remember politely shushing a nearby group of yapping teenage girls in a movie theater, and soon after complying, they were seriously shushing and making demands, some cussing involved, to other noisy movie attendants relatively far away that they stop making noises lol.
I've even noticed the disloyal nature of women. I've seen women stare at me with their boyfriends nearby, even remembering catching one resting her head on her boyfriend's shoulder and directly staring at me w/o shame. In a group of work buddies/friends of friends, women would sometimes find their way near me, away from their boyfriends, and touch me "incidentally" or by friendly pretext with exclusion to others. I've had a situation where a girl I barely knew tell me about her boyfriend being weird and clingy, and that she was thinking of breaking up with him several times throughout the night, which I assumed was her way of telling me she was up for grabs. I remember a bizarre situation with a late 30s/early 40s military wife who had talked badly about a married associate of her's who had earlier flirted with me... all the while hypocritically giving me blatant sexual stares, even as I looked away, and compliments of me being a "ten" and very attractive...mind you at some point in the telling of her background story this woman had showed me pictures of her husband and son as she was doing this gawking!
I don't think I had any situations with gay guys coming on me yet. I've had situations with guys who would compliment me on my looks or clothes, pay for my entrance cover (hap. once), and buy me a drink and try to hang out (probably to use me).
I've noticed that when I was with my brother, who's also handsome, the attraction factor with women rose even dramatically. I remember a woman in a group of giddly females rushed up to us in broad daylight to playfully get in our way, doing the side-to-side motion bit. I stopped a random girl in the street and quickly told her to wait a minute while I'd get my brother (who kept walking) "because he wanted to talk to her." She complied and waited there a minute while I convinced him to go to her. In clubs, women would approach even more and were more aggressive. I remember being pulled out of the club by some chick to go outside less than 30 secs of being with her. Another instance is when I tapped on and hand-motioned for the hottest girl in the club (by my brother's standard) to come to me. She went up to my drink and sipped from the straw, afterward leaving in a teasingly seductive way.
I've also noticed the ups-downs of attraction. One month I will get massive stares and friendly responses out in the day, the next week or month I will get rejections (even from girls who were staring at me), fewer blatant stares, and rude responses from cashiers/desk help <--one of the weirdest things I've noticed. I've had cashiers consistently act rude to me as if they're trying to be rude, e.g. bad tone, absurdly turning body almost completely around, copping an attitude, tapping fingers impatiently for money, looking away, walking away to say something to someone, getting on phone (happened once), not courteously responding to an innocent joke by being dismissive, and at times seemingly disconnect from me completely after the transaction. I finally accepted this pattern was real when after thanking an employee, I tested her by putting on a polite tone and thanked her, and as I was putting my wallet away, she just said "You're" and didn't even bother to complete the statement with "welcome". Mind you, I do nothing but go through the motions of making a transaction - no being nice/no being mean. Just neutral business like many others.
The places and times when things do go well, the employee either remembers my name (when given out of relevance), can't control her excited body language, or is vibing me with bedroom eyes. During Black Friday, one of the female employees far from the register who was promoting extra warranties for the xboxes gave me a brief run-down of it, and while I was thinking about asking her something, she forcefully put the paperwork ad in my hands. When I playfully asked her which line would be the quickest (all the lines were very long), she took it upon herself to walk me all the way through the distance and crowds of people to open a register she thought "might" work just for me. (Maybe she did it so I would more likely buy the warranty and she was a hustler...still odd though) There are several examples of getting special treatment, but what's mentioned is just to get an idea of the ups.
There's a vague correlation with the positive/negative fluctuations being related to my weight (The recent year I've been between 160lbs - 175lbs). Who knows, could be something else.
Now my issue lol. With as much attention as I've gotten, I still don't get laid much. With women that have approached me, I would just cooperate, lay back, and let her do the work. Though, most times I'd play too hard to get and miss out cause I didn't know what to do lol. With women that I've opened, it soon ended up failing. I figure it was either I didn't know what to say because I lacked a real game plan, I was too forward with my touching, gave too much affection, or seemed unsure of myself. I'm currently working on resolving those issues, along with my physical "flaws." Though I was seen as attractive, I was/slightly am skinny fat and had crooked teeth lol.
Now that I provided the unambiguous context to whether I think I'm good-looking or know it, here's the main question: What is the best known approach/mindsets to have and mistakes to avoid when getting at women. I'm not scared of women or have AA... I just lack knowledge and experience that I missed out learning during my teenage years.
I'm in my mid-20's (look younger), 5'11/160lbs, and live in Hawaii currently. I haven't been out many times in the last year because of a habit of just going to work and picking up essentials at the store etc, so most of what I've experienced happened before when I used to go out more. When I was a teenager until 24 yrs old, I always thought I had a "good" face and that some women might perceive me as "cute." The problem was that I wasn't getting "a lot" of attention from women, though they had usually treated me nicely. You see, I was very skinny throughout the years, ranging from 120lbs-145 lbs. When I was 24, I decided to hit the gym again after a long hiatus and have the proper diet for finally gaining muscle mass that time around.
The results were phenomenal. I had gain 15+ lbs (some muscle, part fat) and started to notice a lot more stares my way. Whenever I went out to bars/clubs women would stare at me, orbit me, and bump into me a lot. When I learned to dress better, the reactions got even more drastic. I actually had a woman impulsively gasp out loud when she saw me (she immediately after pulled herself together) and the rest of the nearby girl groups in the venue stopped what they were doing to look at me in awe. I've been approached several times and been offered a drink on a few occasions. Just the other night, some drunk fat chick kept yelling out aggressively to ask if I was single and embarrassed herself by falling into the curtain behind her, mistaking it for a wall lol. Right after, her drunk cousin clumsily embraced me with her body and wrapped arm, nearly making me fall, and apologized for the fat cousin being so goofy, only to use that chance to get with me too! After I'd nicely rejected her because of the near-fall incident she caused, she later found me on the dance floor and danced against me though I was clearly ignoring her as she did so. (I rejected few women in recent years, my standards aren't that high FYI)
During interactions, I've been complimented by women calling me cute, pretty, hot, handsome, and beautiful. Sometimes, these words were the first thing a woman would say in an interaction. It's like women take pleasure in and feel it's their duty to tell me how great I look. (On the mainland once, a woman right before sex, though she was drunk, told me I was the most attractive person she's seen!)
On many nightly occasions women would open up easily and talk to me (until I ****ed it up). I even started to notice that friends of my "targets" were ****-blocking me less and less, and in some situations the groups of friends would enthusiastically encourage the girl to talk to me (though again I would **** it up ha)! Females at times seemed more helpful too, even in unusual ways. I remember politely shushing a nearby group of yapping teenage girls in a movie theater, and soon after complying, they were seriously shushing and making demands, some cussing involved, to other noisy movie attendants relatively far away that they stop making noises lol.
I've even noticed the disloyal nature of women. I've seen women stare at me with their boyfriends nearby, even remembering catching one resting her head on her boyfriend's shoulder and directly staring at me w/o shame. In a group of work buddies/friends of friends, women would sometimes find their way near me, away from their boyfriends, and touch me "incidentally" or by friendly pretext with exclusion to others. I've had a situation where a girl I barely knew tell me about her boyfriend being weird and clingy, and that she was thinking of breaking up with him several times throughout the night, which I assumed was her way of telling me she was up for grabs. I remember a bizarre situation with a late 30s/early 40s military wife who had talked badly about a married associate of her's who had earlier flirted with me... all the while hypocritically giving me blatant sexual stares, even as I looked away, and compliments of me being a "ten" and very attractive...mind you at some point in the telling of her background story this woman had showed me pictures of her husband and son as she was doing this gawking!
I don't think I had any situations with gay guys coming on me yet. I've had situations with guys who would compliment me on my looks or clothes, pay for my entrance cover (hap. once), and buy me a drink and try to hang out (probably to use me).
I've noticed that when I was with my brother, who's also handsome, the attraction factor with women rose even dramatically. I remember a woman in a group of giddly females rushed up to us in broad daylight to playfully get in our way, doing the side-to-side motion bit. I stopped a random girl in the street and quickly told her to wait a minute while I'd get my brother (who kept walking) "because he wanted to talk to her." She complied and waited there a minute while I convinced him to go to her. In clubs, women would approach even more and were more aggressive. I remember being pulled out of the club by some chick to go outside less than 30 secs of being with her. Another instance is when I tapped on and hand-motioned for the hottest girl in the club (by my brother's standard) to come to me. She went up to my drink and sipped from the straw, afterward leaving in a teasingly seductive way.
I've also noticed the ups-downs of attraction. One month I will get massive stares and friendly responses out in the day, the next week or month I will get rejections (even from girls who were staring at me), fewer blatant stares, and rude responses from cashiers/desk help <--one of the weirdest things I've noticed. I've had cashiers consistently act rude to me as if they're trying to be rude, e.g. bad tone, absurdly turning body almost completely around, copping an attitude, tapping fingers impatiently for money, looking away, walking away to say something to someone, getting on phone (happened once), not courteously responding to an innocent joke by being dismissive, and at times seemingly disconnect from me completely after the transaction. I finally accepted this pattern was real when after thanking an employee, I tested her by putting on a polite tone and thanked her, and as I was putting my wallet away, she just said "You're" and didn't even bother to complete the statement with "welcome". Mind you, I do nothing but go through the motions of making a transaction - no being nice/no being mean. Just neutral business like many others.
The places and times when things do go well, the employee either remembers my name (when given out of relevance), can't control her excited body language, or is vibing me with bedroom eyes. During Black Friday, one of the female employees far from the register who was promoting extra warranties for the xboxes gave me a brief run-down of it, and while I was thinking about asking her something, she forcefully put the paperwork ad in my hands. When I playfully asked her which line would be the quickest (all the lines were very long), she took it upon herself to walk me all the way through the distance and crowds of people to open a register she thought "might" work just for me. (Maybe she did it so I would more likely buy the warranty and she was a hustler...still odd though) There are several examples of getting special treatment, but what's mentioned is just to get an idea of the ups.
There's a vague correlation with the positive/negative fluctuations being related to my weight (The recent year I've been between 160lbs - 175lbs). Who knows, could be something else.
Now my issue lol. With as much attention as I've gotten, I still don't get laid much. With women that have approached me, I would just cooperate, lay back, and let her do the work. Though, most times I'd play too hard to get and miss out cause I didn't know what to do lol. With women that I've opened, it soon ended up failing. I figure it was either I didn't know what to say because I lacked a real game plan, I was too forward with my touching, gave too much affection, or seemed unsure of myself. I'm currently working on resolving those issues, along with my physical "flaws." Though I was seen as attractive, I was/slightly am skinny fat and had crooked teeth lol.
Now that I provided the unambiguous context to whether I think I'm good-looking or know it, here's the main question: What is the best known approach/mindsets to have and mistakes to avoid when getting at women. I'm not scared of women or have AA... I just lack knowledge and experience that I missed out learning during my teenage years.
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