I Have Anger Problems/I Don't Know What To Do

[LiveYourDream]

“We never stop to consider that our beliefs are only a relative truth that’s always going to be distorted by all the knowledge we have stored in our memory.”— Miguel Angel Ruiz

What are the most common ways we warp our view of the world?

Dr. David Burns M.D. highlights 10 distorted thinking patterns that work against a healthy outlook on life.

10 Distorted Thinking Patterns (Cognitive Distortions)

1. All-Or-Nothing Thinking – You see things in black-and-white categories. If your performance falls short of perfect, you see yourself as a total failure.
2. Overgeneralization – You see a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.
3. Mental Filter – You pick out a single negative defeat and dwell on it exclusively so that your vision of reality becomes darkened, like the drop of ink that colors the entire beaker of water.
4. Disqualifying the positive – You dismiss positive experiences by insisting they “don’t count” for some reason or other. In this way you can maintain a negative belief that is contradicted by your everyday experiences.
5. Jumping to conclusions – You make a negative interpretation even though there are no definite facts that convincingly support your conclusion.
   A. Mind reading. You arbitrarily conclude that someone is reacting negatively to you, and you don’t bother to check this out.
   B. The fortune teller error. You anticipate that things will turn out badly, and you feel convinced that your prediction is an already-established fact.
6. Magnification (Catastrophizing) or Minimization– You exaggerate the importance of things (such as your goof-up or someone else’s achievement), or you inappropriately shrink things until they appear tiny (your own desirable qualities or the other fellow’s imperfections). This is also called the “binocular trick.”
7. Emotional Reasoning – You assume that your negative emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are: “I feel it, therefore it must be true.
8. Should Statements – You try to motivate yourself with shoulds and shouldn’ts, as if you had to be whipped and punished before you could be expected to do anything. “Musts” and “oughts” are also offenders. The emotional consequence is guilt. When you direct should statements toward others, you feel anger, frustration, and resentment.
9. Labeling and Mislabeling – This is an extreme form of overgeneralization. Instead of describing your error, you attach a negative label to yourself: “I’m a loser.” When someone else’s behavior rubs you the wrong way, you attach a negative label to him: “He’s a goddam louse.” Mislabeling involves describing an event with language that is highly colored and emotionally loaded.
10. Personalization – You see yourself as the cause of some negative external event which in fact you were not primarily responsible for."

 

[Epimanes]

Great list.... Add to that many people (a lot infact) project their feelings on others... Thinking that others are feeling just like they are... Happens alllll the time.

 

[LiveFreeX]

I've mentioned "How I Found Freedom In An Unfree World" three times now. You and LiveFreeX (LifeSlaveX) dismissively act like I'm talking about some New Age crystal-laden magic cowpie so that you don't have to accept things as they are and get on with the purpose of your life which is to be happy, right here, right now. The book is about paying the price for what you want. Well, I'm paid in full, benefits, consequences and all.

The world is wonderful coming from the guy who was raped by his ex-wife... nice one, you need to change your tac-tics or it'll happen again.


Why should you accept things as they are? If I had accepted things as they were, I'd still be a PUA on a meaningless journey to find a new princess every weekend, spin new plates, and hunt down the next piece of ass to entertain with parlor tricks and canned humor, sounds like the life of a clown to me...

I had the guts to step outside the bubble and CHANGE my situation. You're tied down now with kids and there isn't anything you can do, but why should others follow in your footsteps? Because misery loves company and anything else would invalidate your life and your situation.

Denying feminism is taking over America, won't make men happier or stronger. Fvcking those same damaged goons isn't going to fill the shallow void you feel after you finish sex. If you don't know that something is wrong with North America, then you've either been living under the worlds biggest rock or you are as dense as Osmium.

 

[Tictac]

The world is wonderful coming from the guy who was raped by his ex-wife... nice one, you need to change your tac-tics or it'll happen again.


Why should you accept things as they are? If I had accepted things as they were, I'd still be a PUA on a meaningless journey to find a new princess every weekend, spin new plates, and hunt down the next piece of ass to entertain with parlor tricks and canned humor, sounds like the life of a clown to me...

I had the guts to step outside the bubble and CHANGE my situation. You're tied down now with kids and there isn't anything you can do, but why should others follow in your footsteps? Because misery loves company and anything else would invalidate your life and your situation. Denying feminism is taking over America, won't make men happier or stronger.

Tied down with kids? Nothing I can do? In misery? You haven't a clue of how to look for a clue.

Keep wrapping your d*ck junior. You should not reproduce. All you do is spew turds without a single clue.

Enjoy your feminist nightmare. That's all you changed your situation into.

And you think I'm miserable?

Hilarious!

 

[LiveFreeX]

If age makes you wise, say something that might actually be coherent and useful to me.

Maybe you could wait 5 minutes for me to finish my post though... for an old guy, you sure are plugged in to new technology cause I just posted that 10 minutes ago. 90% of old folks I know have no idea how to use a smartphone or care, so I highly doubt you're as old as your profile states. Either that or you have nothing better to do.

 

[Tictac]

If age makes you wise, say something that might actually be coherent and useful to me.

I said don't reproduce. You'll corrupt the gene pool. Simple enough for you?

 

[LiveFreeX]

The only poster who usually responds to me like that is Jaylan. The other type would be a woman. Which are you???

 

[Tictac]

The only poster who usually responds to me like that is Jaylan. The other type would be a woman. Which are you???

I am something you could never understand Pee-Wee.

And I don't need groupies.

Take a hike.

 

[LiveFreeX]

I am something you could never understand Pee-Wee.

I rest my case.

The only users who would defend American women ARE American women.

 

[Tictac]

I rest my case.

You'd have to have a room temperature IQ to know what a case was.

You don't

 

[LiveFreeX]

That was 10 seconds after I posted it, greetings program...

Either I'm talking to a bot or you are hitting that refresh button faster than an anorexic hits the salad bar.

 

[exhausted]

I do, they are bad, and they are all mainly coming from my dealings with women.

They say the AFC is the "frustrated" chump, but his frustrations are usually related to not getting laid. Those aren't my frustrations, my frustrations are in relation to the QUALITY of the god damn relationships I keep getting and just being still pissed off with women from my early interactions with them.

#1.) Relationship Quality

I'm stuck on a fvcking merry-go-round. Every single chick I get, there's always a major fvcking problem with her. Either she has weight issues to the point of when she's naked I get turned off, or the bytch is a gold-digger and constantly tries to get me to give her money, or the chick has financial issues which means she has to ask me to help pay her $30 Metro PCS bill, or the chick is just flat out fickle as hell and you don't know if she's going OR coming.

Listen, I've tried to keep a positive attitude and just keep "spinning plates" of these chicks, I can't fvcking do it anymore. I'm going insane here and I'm afraid that I'm going to SNAP. I'm being honest. I have been flat out going off on women for years now and when I go off, I GO THE FVCK OFF. I haven't physically hit anybody (YET), but I'm cursing her out and doing all types of verbal abusive shyt. So you can say I'm a verbal abuser.


#2.) Early Interactions

In addition to the above, I'm sorry, but I'm still pissed off based on what happened to me during my actual "AFC" days in high school and my very early 20's.

I'm black so the majority of women I deal with and have dealt with are black women, okay? And back then the black women would pick flat out losers, bums and thugs over me because I "spoke like a whiteboy and was too smart".

STILL TO THIS DAY, when I think about that shyt, it pisses me the fvck off when I think about how fvcked up the black community is and how fvcked up black men are in general, and how these stupid bytches helped to create that.

One minute, it's we need black men to get their shyt together, then the next minute, the stupid bytch is deliberating picking a DOPE DEALER over the black dude on his way to fvcking college? How the fvck does that make sense??


I'm About To SNAP

Listen, I'm worried about myself, okay? I have been going off on women and verbally abusing them for at least 5 years straight now, off and on. IF I don't do something quick, I'm afraid the next step is I'm about to physically assault one of them and then I'll be in jail, having worked my a.ss off from nothing and have it all thrown away in an instant.

So, in a way, I'm reaching out for help here. I have tried talking to counselors and all they do is provide bullshyt Walt Disney like advice that I get nothing out of. None of the blue pill guys in my social circle can assist, tried talking to them and nobody even comprehends WTF I'm going through because they are all like, if you are getting laid, why do you care about all this other stuff?

I don't know what to do but if I don't do something, my life is going to get fvcked up.

Stop caring so much to the point where you are destroying yourself emotionally, mentally and spiritually. If I have to be that upset with a female then I will go get a different female.
Start training your mind and heart not to be so attached, maybe a year together and you can start to let your guard down, but if you are flipping out on chicks then that shows they are not worth your time and stress. Save that for your wife, no one else is worth being that upset or bothered by. If a female is ruining your days and causing you unnecessary stress and anxiety, she isnt worth it.
Lower you expectations for these terrible women and then when you find one worth while you will know it. Life is too short to be flipping out on women who arent going to be your life partner.

 

[LiveFreeX]

 

[Tenacity]

Wanted to update this thread with a couple of notes:

#1.) Foreign Women

I've been looking into my boy Live Free's recommendation to consider more foreign women, I will have an update on that soon.


#2.) The Chick I Really Want

I outlined the type of girl I really want and what I would define as "quality", for reference you can check out the initial post.

After looking back over the previous 5 - 6 years, I believe that I actually DID get girls that fit this criteria but I just sort of fvcked up the relationship. As I mentioned I had been "going off" a lot, and usually when I went off on certain girls they wouldn't tolerate it, they would immediately cut ties, while some girls would stick around after the "episode". I think (looking back) at least a good 6 girls fit the "quality chick" criteria that I'm looking for.

- As a result, I'm going to zone in solely on looking for women that fit my criteria and I have/I'm in the process of cutting ties with the other women that don't fit it. The reality is that I'm 32 and I only get ONE LIFE, if I'm going to go for this shyt and zone in on it, I have to do it now.

- My plan is to only entertain chicks that fit the criteria I have listed, if this doesn't work out, I will just go back to dealing with the chicks that don't fit my criteria because they are ABUNDANT in supply. They aren't going no where and it's easy to find them. The type of chick I'm looking for is number one, more difficult to find and number two, she doesn't tolerate some of my "shyt" like the other girls do so I'm going to clean that up a bit.

- I'll keep this thread updated with information. I would post pictures of the chicks but I'm afraid it might come up in the search engines. While I have no quarrels about having my identity on here, I don't want a chick to know I'm posting her pictures on websites for other guys to judge her.


#3.) For The Anger Issues

I think it's time I incorporated back into my life aspects of the New Thought Movement. I'm not giving up my REALIST approach to life, but I'm going to incorporate more of the "positive outlook and positive feelings" stuff back in because the honest truth is that at times....I go overboard on the negative shyt, I do. Doesn't mean my analysis on the market is wrong, but I think that I have the capabilities, character, personality, etc. to get what I'm looking for in spite of the market.

As I told you guys before, I was a part of church ministry for 6 years and all they focused on was the New Thought Movement. I was the happiest and most at PEACE during that time of my life, than ever before, even though I was financially broke as hell.

I believe I can get that internal PEACE back through connecting back with my spiritual connection like I did once before.

 

[l_e_g_e_n_d]

Hmm, I wonder if your post is of genuine intent--or the good ol' reel them back into this thread and deride em'.

 

[Tenacity]

Hmm, I wonder if your post is of genuine intent--or the good ol' reel them back into this thread and deride em'.

It's of genuine intent, like every one of my posts are. I was asking you guys follow up questions and getting clarification on a couple of things that didn't make sense. I got clarification on some things and others not so much, but the updates above are what I'm doing.

I must admit, it's been a little hard even though it's been a couple of days. I've been forced to just "make" myself not entertain the women I've been entertaining and focus on the type of chick I want, but the lack of attention is already starting to affect me a little. I'm just used to always having a chick around, even if I don't really like her that much.

 

[Tenacity]

Just wanted to update this thread. So I'm wondering, to the guys who talk about targeting more quality women (those without kids, good finances, good looks) I'm just wondering do you guys notice what I've been noticing, and it's that a lot of times they are more DIFFICULT to manage?

It's like, the chicks who have something wrong with them, such as bad finances or maybe two kids, or maybe weight problems, it's like they have better behavior or something? It's like it's much easier for me to control the frame, move the chick forward, and the whole nine yards.

The more "quality" chicks usually always take longer to fvck, they are harder to fvck, they don't communicate as QUICKLY as the other type of chicks do, they are more likely to be fickle, more likely to cancel a date at the last minute, etc.

Do you guys think this is just the way it is, or might I be doing something that's causing this? When people like T.O. say that my personality might be totally off, I just don't see it? The chicks are laughing, having a good time, the traditional "seduction" stuff such as ****y/funny, kino and elicting values are all incorporated into my "natural" personality, but maybe I'm missing something that I'm doing wrong and don't know it? OR, are these chicks just more of a pain in the a.ss in general??

 

[Desdinova]

They're more of a pain in the ass.

If they fvck easily, they've got other 5hit wrong with them. If they seem to have their 5hit together, they're harder to fvck. Finding that balance is a rarity. You're gonna go through a ton of chicks before you find one that has a decent balance, and even then she won't be perfect. The best girl I ever dated had what appeared to be a developing drug and alcohol problem. Everything else about her was great.

The only way you're going to get satisfaction is to find a great girl while you're in high school and stick with her. We're all way past that now, and fvcking high school chicks is illegal. We get all the damaged goods that fell off the back of the graduation truck.

 

[ChrisFloyd]

Never let anything steals your joy.

 

[Bible_Belt]

It's like, the chicks who have something wrong with them, such as bad finances or maybe two kids, or maybe weight problems, it's like they have better behavior or something? It's like it's much easier for me to control the frame, move the chick forward, and the whole nine yards.

Why do fat girls suck a good d!ck?

Because they have to.