In need of quick help

[Don Joseph]

Hi all,

first time writing in the forum- but have been following for quite a long time.

Basically gamed a girl at a wedding - made out, she slept over. then she was chasing me for about a month and I flew down to her city to see her- spent 4 days (had sex, built comfort all of that). but then afterwards when I got back, she was chasing a bit and then it suddenly turned into her playing games.

After I noticed her playing games, I started going cold also and not responding on the weekends (dread), giving her 2/3 contact in regards to what she gave me, etc. I was genuinely trying to get to know her but its kind of hard to when someone is playing games/ hot&cold with you.

This is the first time I've experienced a girl not chasing me after sex so I'm a bit confused as to what is going on. Before I had sex with her she was framing our conversations as if she was looking at me as dating potential - and then when I saw her she said that alot of guys have screwed her over and thus she has no expectations of hearing from me afterwards. (I later realized this must have been a **** test for me to chase her).

I'm not saying she's a unicorn but I had a great time with her and need to know what is going on. Did I come off too strong? If she trying to control the frame? Should I just walk away at this point?

I feel like she is consistently testing my boundaries at this point. I called her last night and she didn't pick up so I'm trying to figure out my next move. Oh yeah, I told her I would friendzone her if she didn't come see me - and at this point I'm not seeing any effort on her end. I feel like I should just walk away and ignore her attempts until she gets more aggressive but my emotions keep pulling me back.

Thanks in advance fellas!

 

[dustmuffin]

Long distance never works....eject

 

[AttackFormation]

I feel like I should just walk away and ignore her attempts until she gets more aggressive but my emotions keep pulling me back.

Thanks in advance fellas!

As usual, men already know what they should be doing but then they say, "my ego is holding me back!". Who cares why she's doing whatever? the bottom line is she doesn't want to have fun with you anymore. Now you can find some new girls.

 

[King of Action]

and then when I saw her she said that alot of guys have screwed her over and thus she has no expectations of hearing from me afterwards.

OK. She saying, "I'm a bit loose and give it up to the guys and when I do, they just seem leave me alone....are you one of them, too?" Just like Dustmuffin said, you seem to have a long distance relationship with her and they never work. Dude, read my quote above.

If you're familiar with this site, you should have already read articles and posts that women already know what you want as soon as you approach. I believe you were a bit surprised you hit it sooner than you thought you would.

 

[Mot1veProgress]

Besides sex, she didn't see you offer her anything worth while. She's into relationships.. But apparently doesn't want one with you otherwise, yet she did like the sex. She's not trying to live with that because she's had experiences in the past that weren't positive.

Simple as that man. It's all in the other stuff that you didn't think about where you weren't for her.... You said it best.. you were surprised she wasnt chasing you after the sex.. That's what you came to expect of women.. and it's wrong.. because it doesn't work with every chick.

Hope this helps man.

 

[Don Joseph]

Besides sex, she didn't see you offer her anything worth while. She's into relationships.. But apparently doesn't want one with you otherwise, yet she did like the sex. She's not trying to live with that because she's had experiences in the past that weren't positive.

Simple as that man. It's all in the other stuff that you didn't think about where you weren't for her.... You said it best.. you were surprised she wasnt chasing you after the sex.. That's what you came to expect of women.. and it's wrong.. because it doesn't work with every chick.

Hope this helps man.

thanks for the responses everyone. i understand she is into relationships and I'm trying to push my comfort zone (from ONS's to building a connection with someone) - but when I tried to talk with her she started pushing away it seemed like. I told her I liked certain things about her personality and I wanted to see her again but if i do anything more than that i start feeling like an AFC thats chasing her.

she said when she first met me she thought i was banging 15 girls - and obviously if thats what turned her on, isn't that what I should keep doing? shouldn't i just keep being me? I spent 4 days with her - obviously she must know i wasn't there just for sex.

i know the general rule is to go with behavior over words; but when she is drunk why does she talk like if all goes well then i'll meet her family and stuff?

 

[AttackFormation]

thanks for the responses everyone. i understand she is into relationships and I'm trying to push my comfort zone (from ONS's to building a connection with someone) - but when I tried to talk with her she started pushing away it seemed like. I told her I liked certain things about her personality and I wanted to see her again but if i do anything more than that i start feeling like an AFC thats chasing her.

she said when she first met me she thought i was banging 15 girls - and obviously if thats what turned her on, isn't that what I should keep doing? shouldn't i just keep being me? I spent 4 days with her - obviously she must know i wasn't there just for sex.

Look.... this girl like many others is not right in the head. That's really it... don't analyse her actions.

 

[Mot1veProgress]

thanks for the responses everyone. i understand she is into relationships and I'm trying to push my comfort zone (from ONS's to building a connection with someone) - but when I tried to talk with her she started pushing away it seemed like. I told her I liked certain things about her personality and I wanted to see her again but if i do anything more than that i start feeling like an AFC thats chasing her.

she said when she first met me she thought i was banging 15 girls - and obviously if thats what turned her on, isn't that what I should keep doing? shouldn't i just keep being me? I spent 4 days with her - obviously she must know i wasn't there just for sex.

i know the general rule is to go with behavior over words; but when she is drunk why does she talk like if all goes well then i'll meet her family and stuff?

Yeah just keep doing you. You're putting way too much emotion towards her. Girls are the same. She probably thinsk about you alot.. But honestly, there's so many variables, that you CANT see.. Because you don't know about her life.. Maybe she's seeing other guys.. Maybe she's got other stuff going on.

Don't invest time and emotions past a certain point man.. Its a waste after an extent.. Just go NC.. if she messages you sometime, entertain it if you wish

 

[PapiChulo]

That's buyer's remorse. Also if you go long distance you can't compete with other dudes that she is seeing and keep the interest. NC is the way to go. The only way this works is when she has no other options at all or you are so far above anyone she can possibly have access to (you have mind-fuked her deeply, or you are Brad Pitt)

 

[dustmuffin]

That's buyer's remorse. Also if you go long distance you can't compete with other dudes that she is seeing and keep the interest. NC is the way to go. The only way this works is when she has no other options at all or you are so far above anyone she can possibly have access to (you have mind-fuked her deeply, or you are Brad Pitt)

And even then the interest won't last. Long distance will end badly unless you end it first.

 

[PapiChulo]

Also this: no desire to come to you=doesn't wanna invest, means that you are not that high on priority list and that she is probably just along for the ride. She likes you enough to sleep with her, I ll give you that. And you on the other hand are already investing yourself, thus devaluing yourself. Here is a little story: I know this one Canadian woman that eventually married a Gaucho guy from Argentina. She travelled there several times just to see the guy because she was "afraid to lose him" and the dude was about to get divorced at the moment. That basically illustrates my point. Just enjoy it, and when you are there again ask her for sex!

 

[Don Joseph]

thanks guys!