The Alpha male myth

[latino158]

according to this myth, men can be taught to be "Alpha males", thus making them attractive to women

With regards to what defines an "Alpha male", my understanding of this term, and please note this is just my view, an Alpha male is a leader of men eg.a military commander, the CEO of a multinational company, an airline/or ship Captain etc. Alpha males are usually very intelligent, and more often than not, both mentally and physically tough men, eg. commanders of elite military regiments or forces.

Unfortunately in our dumbed down, and oversexed society, a good looking bad boy who may be as dumb as a bag of rocks, with a criminal record as long as the Mississippi River, is seen as being more alpha, than say an ugly,nerdy yet talented scientist or some type of engineer. The point I am trying to make here is, that a man is falsely gauged by how many women he beds, as opposed to his contribution to society.

An Alpha male is a term animal biologists apply to things like the leader of a pack of wolves.

Insecure, geeky basement theorist PUA nerds have taken that term and morphed into their own pseudo scientific thinking and geekspeak to sound more credible and make them feel better about themselves. Kind of like body builder bro-science bull****. Then is extended to Beta male etc for all the guys PUAs think are losers.

Ironic that PUAs and professional PUA coaches are ****ed up sociopath misfits, with losers like Mystery broke and homeless and sleeping on the couch alone at xmas.

 

[zekko]

The problem with the whole alpha/beta thing is that it is an example that we are supposed to learn from. Instead, people take it too literally and too seriously, and turn it into this all or nothing thing. The human race is extremely varied and adaptable, that's what makes our species successful. The qualities that make up one leader, or one alpha male, may be completely different from another. One guy might get by on brute force, while another might get by on intelligence and cunning. Another guy might get by on his social skills and charisma. We all have different gifts which we can use to our advantage.

Unfortunately, in PUA forums people tend to look at the alpha male as a good looking bad boy who is dumb and violent, and bang! That's the guy we're supposed to be if we want to attract chicks. That's way too narrow a view for real life.

 

[Mot1veProgress]

Those PUA guys can never really pickup urban girls from big cities . They usually prey on half desperate middle aged white women who are already drunk by the time they meet them. They're the type of guys who have no choice but to have temporary fun and then never see the girls ever again. They're toys to women. Not a good trait at all

They do know some great stuff but however.. IF they tried the same on a feisty puerto rican chick in a big city at a poppin club, they'd get laughed at, belittled and forced to walk away with their heads down.


Fact is different type of girls like different things. A false idealogy is thinking that 1 man can pick up so many diff type of multiple girls and they'll all autiomatically like him by something he does.. That's false.. That's an illusion..

Be yourself first and foremost because a girl can sense fake easily. Confidence is the most important. The ability to be yourself and express yourself to the fullest without being swayed or intimidated.. Personality is 2nd. Confidence allows a girl to see your personality.. Now if you're trying to be "Something" and fit into a cliche.. Then you'll only influence certain girls to like you

 

[fastlife]

I think Rollo Tomassi's idea that Alpha is 'a mindset and not a demographic' is spot on. Basically, an Alpha male is self-defined. The universal constant is confidence (or at least the appearance of it). That's what gets women. The issue with the 'leader of men, socially constructive' definition of Alpha is that the man who can lead an army or build a civilization won't necessarily be confident when it comes to women--and shouldn't expect to be rewarded with ***** for being a good dude in a society where women's survival is already assured. No matter how much we'd like for there to be a logical correlation, there isn't.

But by all means, play to your strengths. Create your own world--some women will want to enter your world, some will want to stay there, others may want to enter it from time to time. But your world should be irreducible and exist whether a woman approves of it or not. Always be building your world and investing in yourself.

 

[AllDay85]

Confidence is the knowledge that you can repeat past successes. So yeah, guys that have scored big in the past, are the most likely to win. Women can read these successes in your subconscious body language. This isn't to say you shouldn't fake it till you make it; absolutely this is what you should do.

 

[Mot1veProgress]

Confidence is the knowledge that you can repeat past successes. So yeah, guys that have scored big in the past, are the most likely to win. Women can read these successes in your subconscious body language. This isn't to say you shouldn't fake it till you make it; absolutely this is what you should do.

Confidence is built and practiced. People constantly change.. Unless you're constantly practicing confidence and building it, it wont stay.

 

[zekko]

Be yourself first and foremost because a girl can sense fake easily. Confidence is the most important. The ability to be yourself and express yourself to the fullest without being swayed or intimidated.. Personality is 2nd. Confidence allows a girl to see your personality.

I've always been a proponent of "Be Yourself", meaning that you want to be confident and relaxed enough to show the girl your real personality. You should be yourself, confidently and without apology - "This is who I am, and I don't care if others like it or not". I think women are drawn to this, although of course some personalities simply don't mesh.

I think Rollo Tomassi's idea that Alpha is 'a mindset and not a demographic' is spot on.

I've never liked that "alpha is a mindset" business. You should certainly have a positive, confident, and masculine mindset, but that doesn't make you an alpha. Like Latino158 said, an alpha male is a term animal biologists apply to things like the leader of a pack of wolves. An alpha male is a position, by definition. Women go after the alpha male because of his position at the head of the pack, not because he has some mindset. They want the reflected glory and status his position comes with - they want the bragging rights.

 

[fastlife]

I've never liked that "alpha is a mindset" business. You should certainly have a positive, confident, and masculine mindset, but that doesn't make you an alpha. Like Latino158 said, an alpha male is a term animal biologists apply to things like the leader of a pack of wolves. An alpha male is a position, by definition. Women go after the alpha male because of his position at the head of the pack, not because he has some mindset. They want the reflected glory and status his position comes with - they want the bragging rights.

Mindset manifests itself into behavior. Behavior dictates other people's perception of you--how they treat you, how they attempt to socialize with you, whether people show you respect or deference. Society will use manipulation (shame, egotistical gratification, etc.) to shape your mindset and thus your behavior in ways that may or may not be beneficial to your success as a man and your success with women.

Hence the need for strong frame--which is really just your mindset.

I'd agree with your definition if we were to go way, way, way back to the time when humans lived in small nomadic tribes. An alpha male was a position and it was a position granted based on the need to survive. That need no longer exists. Tribes no longer exist. There is too much stimulus and too much information and too many people for the 'alpha male' to be a position--at least in any rigid sense.

But if your mindset is strong, it will carry out into your behavior, and will influence other people's perceptions of you (regardless of any material status). It's ridiculous to think that an Alpha male has to be an exemplary citizen or a leader of men. You're looking at things logically, instead of what women respond to as cues for mating fitness.

 

[AttackFormation]

Mindset manifests itself into behavior. Behavior dictates other people's perception of you--how they treat you, how they attempt to socialize with you, whether people show you respect or deference. Society will use manipulation (shame, egotistical gratification, etc.) to shape your mindset and thus your behavior in ways that may or may not be beneficial to your success as a man and your success with women.

Hence the need for strong frame--which is really just your mindset.

I'd agree with your definition if we were to go way, way, way back to the time when humans lived in small nomadic tribes. An alpha male was a position and it was a position granted based on the need to survive. That need no longer exists. Tribes no longer exist. There is too much stimulus and too much information and too many people for the 'alpha male' to be a position--at least in any rigid sense.

But if your mindset is strong, it will carry out into your behavior, and will influence other people's perceptions of you (regardless of any material status). It's ridiculous to think that an Alpha male has to be an exemplary citizen or a leader of men. You're looking at things logically, instead of what women respond to as cues for mating fitness.

Agreed. An alpha male never was a position, that's us putting the cart before the horse. It is a mindset that makes you suitable to have certain positions. "Alpha position" means position suitable for someone with an alpha mindset. That's why kings and emperors have been referred to as "strong" and "weak". Personally, I'm tired of the word alpha because people take it as meaning a leader but it really is about characteristics that make you more suitable to lead, not needing to be one. It gets guys caught in this "you either lead others or you're a beta" BS. Every man can develop himself.

 

[JohnChops]

All i know is, I am the most alpha alpha to have ever alphad on the alphas.

 

[zekko]

But if your mindset is strong, it will carry out into your behavior, and will influence other people's perceptions of you (regardless of any material status). It's ridiculous to think that an Alpha male has to be an exemplary citizen or a leader of men. You're looking at things logically, instead of what women respond to as cues for mating fitness.

What women respond to is the alpha male position - they want the top dog. Efforts by the PUA community to develop a "mindset" that turns you into an alpha is just mimicking their imagined thought process of the guys women find desirable.

And I did not say that an alpha has to be an exemplary citizen or a leader of men. I said that there are many different qualities that might make up an alpha male. An alpha may well be a leader of men, but what is important is that he is at the top. An alpha could be the best athlete, the best guitar player, the most famous singer, the fastest racer, the toughest guy in the bar, the most celebrated actor, that's what women respond to.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I liked the part in The Game where the author mentioned what it was like being around Tom Cruise:

Everyone is going to be thinking about what Tom Cruise is thinking about!

That was his attitude around any group of people. He's very alpha. He's also an annoying little fvcker.

One of the biggest alphas I have ever been around was the CEO of a big company. He was the loudest-talking sob I have ever met. He insisted on sitting in a normal cubicle instead of his office, to try to show that he was fine rubbing elbows with us little people. But he was so fvcking loud, everyone in the building heard every word of all his conversations. Everyone was constantly cursing him under their breath. He played in a band with his executive buddies, and of course was the lead guitar/singer. He was also going through a divorce at the time I met him; his wife was taking half of everything.

 

[Mot1veProgress]

Alpha males aren't alpha males if they melt around women and turn into puppy dogs following the girl at her every order.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

I think the "Alpha male" mindset trap men thinking there is only one way to be Alpha as opposed as being "Alpha in your own way" Being the best version of yourself in expressing it in your unique way. "Alpha" is not synonymous with being perfect or acting this one way. You take knowledge and experience and develop it to your strengths and abilities. What works better for you might not work as good for someone else. Maintain your frame

 

[AttackFormation]

I think the "Alpha male" mindset trap men thinking there is only one way to be Alpha as opposed as being "Alpha in your own way" Being the best version of yourself in expressing it in your unique way. "Alpha" is not synonymous with being perfect or acting this one way. You take knowledge and experience and develop it to your strengths and abilities. What works better for you might not work as good for someone else. Maintain your frame

What you describe is the way that at least I interpret SoSuave's collective message of alpha to be - a man with a strong will and drive. A beta is a man with weak will and drive. This is the alpha mindset. If you are content to be a trash collector because you dedicate yourself to boxing as that is what is important to you, you are alpha in that instance. Basically an alpha is someone who both has a vision for his life, whatever it is to him, and has the strength and energy to make it reality. An alpha position is whoever is formally or informally in charge, but that doesn't give someone an alpha mindset. What creates division is that these discussions don't define whether we are arguing what the mindset or position of alpha is. Alpha as a mindset extends to all behaviour and is not static, that boxer guy from earlier may be tough as nails in the ring but he can't stand up for himself with his woman. And then we come to the traits that are beneficial for an alpha if he wants to be accepted and liked by others such as being charismatic, good looking, friendly and such, but those things are not the essence of it.

 

[Fatal Jay]

That's why I never understood or liked pua. PUA is a bunch of nerdy guys who is "acting" the part. They depend on "tactics" and "tricks" they not doing these things naturally.

PeasantPlayer said it best. Be the best version of yourself because believe it or not women can see through the pua bullcrap and they can tell if your not being yourself.

That's why the so call bad boys get a lot of tail because they are being themselves.

The simp guy depends on giving the girl compliments and expensive dates to impress the girl, he is insecure.