Should I Text Her?

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i-shine-regardless

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Just looking for some feedback. A few weeks back I went out with a girl 10 years younger. She's 25. I'm 35. Simple first date just grabbed drinks. Second date two days later. We kissed a bit. Spontaneous slow dancing to Xmas music. It was fun and she seemed really into it.

Then holidays came. We texted a little. Setup a date for Sunday after Xmas. I confirmed with her the day of then she flaked a couple hours later that she wasn't feeling well.

New Years came and we texted a little more. But it was boring and she didn't seem to be really into it, not really initiating, taking long time to text back, simple answers that didn't go anywhere.

We last texted on the 4th. I replied to a message from her about New Years. I thought it was a pretty funny/interesting response but she never replied. At the time I decided **** this and basically wrote her off unless I heard back from her.

Now I'm wondering if I overreacted and if I should reach out to her one more time to see if I can get something going. At the same time I feel like it's a waste of time and she's probably not interested and/or is with someone else... otherwise she would've engaged more.

Any thoughts or feedback from you men would be appreciated. Should I text her one last time since there's nothing to lose? Or write her off and just keep it moving?
 
logicallefty

logicallefty

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Your one last text is probably a waste of time, but you are also right, it can't really hurt anything.. If you do it I would tell her you are going to be at (place X) on (day Y) at (time Z) and ask her if she would like to join you. Anything other than a rock solid yes, I wouldn't waste another second on this woman, write her off and move on. If she happens to respond and doesn't want to date but still wants to text back and fourth, I wouldn't engage in that. If she doesn't want to date you then she doesn't deserve your good conversation.
 
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Yewki

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You've had two dates and her interest is low (or gone). In the unlikely event she agreed to another date, it'd probably be a waste of time. But then again, if you have time to spare... it's something to do.
 
grayclif

grayclif

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Yewki said:
You've had two dates and her interest is low (or gone). In the unlikely event she agreed to another date, it'd probably be a waste of time. But then again, if you have time to spare... it's something to do.
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Sometimes there is just no point. Instead, spin plates.
 
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parkthebus

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The reason the guys are telling you to spin plates is this. She is not that interested in you because you're so interested in her. If you meet another woman, 99℅ of the time you will desire her less. And its very hard to talk yourself into that mindset. The easiest solution - spin plates.
 
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i-shine-regardless

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Ok. I'm with it and agree. Thanks for the feedback gentlemen. Sometimes it's good to just hear what you're already thinking from an outside opinion.
 
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parkthebus

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You can desire her as much as you like as long as you don't let her know it.
 
zekko

zekko

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i-shine-regardless said:
So basically the answer to everything is to forget about her and just "spin plates"?
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Well, that is the stock SoSuave answer. That and "Hit the gym", lol.

But yeah, unfortunately she sounds pretty low interest, so there's probably not a lot of upside to pursuing it. Which means start investing elsewhere. But if you want to give it one more go, it's up to you. But I wouldn't expect too much, and like Lefty said, anything other than a hard yes I wouldn't waste anymore time on her.
 
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EyeBRollin

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i-shine-regardless said:
So are you saying you can't actually really desire a girl?
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Your desire for her is irrelevant. The only thing that matters is her desire for you.

Forget about low interest chicks and move on. Spin plates. Quit useless texting. Use the phone as a tool to set up dates, then get off it. Only respond to her messages / calls. Don't initiate unless you intend to ask her on a date.

i-shine-regardless said:
Just looking for some feedback. A few weeks back I went out with a girl 10 years younger. She's 25. I'm 35. Simple first date just grabbed drinks. Second date two days later.
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Too soon. Patience, my friend.

After the first date, wait at least few days to ask for another date. She needs time to sort out her feelings.
 
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i-shine-regardless

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Tictac said:
Ask her out. If she says 'yes', figure it out. If she says 'no', back off for a while. If she says 'maybe' tell her to let you know when she's free to go out.

You won't know a damned thing otherwise. So give up trying to read minds
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I like the cut of your jib friend. Nice clear action oriented advice.
 
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i-shine-regardless

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parkthebus said:
What gives you that impression?
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Gut instinct. She seemed paranoid if I was going to like her or not. I had a feeling from the beginning she was going to self sabotage any potential with us. But I could just be trying to make myself feel better and maybe she wants nothing to do with me.
 
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