I HAVE DISCOVERED MY GF IS ADDICTED TO TV

[BlackCheGuevara]

Hello fellas , I am looking for a little insight on something that is growing like a tumor in my day to day life .
I'm a 24 year old, my girlfriend is 23. We met when I was 17 and she was 16 respectively . Off the bat, we seemed to have allot in common. Musical tastes, and vs mutual love for The Lord of the Rings . We spoke on the phone for hours and actually would fall asleep in the phone overnight / every night. Back in those days I was a confused, adventurous, and fearless teenager who despite my romancing , was not trying to be tied down. I dropped out of high school at age 17 in the 11th grade and set out for Job Corps in Kentucky . I got my GED in under 6 months and returned to Baltimore. Let me fast forward a little bit. I ended up getting her pregnant when I came back from job corps and moved back to my home town of Atlanta,Ga . Time goes by , I realize my mistakes and move back to attempt to grow into manhood. Years later , we have an apartment and our daughter will be 5 in March . Happy ended right ? **** no , she is emotionally connected to a plethora of TV shows . To the point that if she doesn't watch them weekly then it directly effects her attitude . She is a habitual TV watcher , having the tv on in the background while not slightly interested in what is showing . While I was away in Atlanta years ago my daughter watched tv endlessly which contributes to her speech problems , im sure. We have lived together going to 3 years and I've been in a power struggle with her over the ****ing TV for a few months . I've restricted my 4 year olds TV/electronics time from over 8 hours a DAY to less than 2 hours a day . She has responded by picking up painting, drawing , listening to more music, singing and other non electronic things. Her speech has also gotten considerably better . My girlfriend is not lazy , and that's where the heart of her argument lies. I'm not lazy, I cook and clean and go to school . I'm just a homebody who likes watching TV . I spend my free time , reading, playing with my daughter or researching helpful information in regards to getting my child ready for kindergarten, because I do not trust school teachers until they've proven they're interested in my child . My girlfriend on the other hand can be found on the couch in her free time , watching ANY AND EVERYTHING .

 

[grayclif]

Does your girlfriend work?

 

[BlackCheGuevara]

No , I bring in the income from a part time job. She goes to culinary school , which she'll be graduating sooner than later. We live in income based housing so if she did work then the rent would be more expensive, so that's not really a big deal . She says she had dyslexic problems when she was younger, so I feel like she has a bad taste when it comes to reading , whenever we go to Barnes n nobles she just picks up cook books

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

I think you need to worry less about the tv and more about your low income household. How do you expect to raise a family with one part time job and assisted living? Is that what you want your daughter to grow up in?

Also what part of Atlanta are you in?

 

[logicallefty]

If you want to try get a handle on this disconnect the cable. Tell her it doesn't fit in your budget and when she gets a job she is welcome to have it turned back on, and pay for it. More than likely if she is what you describe, she will throw a fit like a raging maniac. If she does make sure you record it. Then say "better yet if you are going to act like that then you can just leave. I'm sure the homeless shelter at '123 Main Street' has a TV for you to watch".

Unfortunately, these situations don't normally end well for the relationship, but it's worth a shot.

 

[BlackCheGuevara]

That's under control , I'm starting a business next year . I've been using the low cost living as a time to mentally get myself together . Been researching tirelessly , preparing to get out of this situation .I have a plan in motion in regards to our living arrangements. Of course i don't want my daughter growing up in this , but it's necessary for now. And when I say income based , I'm not referring to exclusively low income. There is a wide range of incomes , the rent is just based upon the tenants specific income. Nonetheless I see myself in a better situation in the near future

 

[BlackCheGuevara]

I was thinking of trying to get her to read more , for Christmas I'm buying her books.

 

[MOTU]

Dude, this runs deeper than TV viewing. She has no motivation or ambition. She isn't accomplishing anything - well, at least not much. All that can lead to depression and all sorts of bad behaviours.

She needs to be busier with her life, so there is no time for TV. Then she will be happy. If it continues like this, I am afraid it is a ticking time bomb.

 

[BlackCheGuevara]

Sadly I agree man , **** makes me sad .

 

[BlackCheGuevara]

She is in culinary school , and can cook her ass off . Hopefully once she graduates and gets a job then this won't be a problem anymore. I have to go to the local library for a few hours every other day just so I can read . We have a small apartment so it's not like I can go to another floor or something . When I bring it up she tells me I need to worry about being a better boyfriend because I don't pay her enough attention. But how the **** am I supposed to do that when you're watching one of your "shows" constantly. Our conversations are unintelligent and argumentative . I really just thinks she needs books in her life to spike her imagination, because it's almost non existent right now

 

[Bible_Belt]

Relationships are about compromise. My former wife used to watch Friends twice a day and sing along to the theme song when it came on. It annoyed the hell out of me, but I knew that was a battle I wasn't going to win. Pick your battles wisely. There is no winning when you fight with your wife.

Possible compromises:
-Find a show or two that you can watch together
-Get interested in some aspect of cooking. It can be the science, the geography, or the culture behind the food that interests you more so than how to cook it, but regardless that would give you something in common with her.
-Bargain for some "quiet time" with the TV off by offering to watch whatever she wants with her while you rub her back, feet, whatever. I know that sounds like sucking up, but it just ends up being foreplay for later anyway.

Compromise takes two. She has to be willing to be negotiable. But it's a rare man who can vocalize a relationship's problems and discuss constructive solutions. Most people don't have enough communication skills and just end up fighting.

 

[logicallefty]

When I bring it up she tells me I need to worry about being a better boyfriend because I don't pay her enough attention. But how the **** am I supposed to do that when you're watching one of your "shows" constantly. Our conversations are unintelligent and argumentative . I really just thinks she needs books in her life to spike her imagination, because it's almost non existent right now

Typical sewer gas from a woman's mouth. She knows she needs to be a better girlfriend and better contributor to the relationship by not spending all her time at home with her azz fused to the couch watching TV. So rather than objectively and honestly admit to said problem and put effort in fixing her issues, she is defecting it back on you saying you need to be a better boyfriend. That way she can blame you for the the overall problems with the relationship and tell the world they are all your fault rather than hers.

 

[parkthebus]

She needs direction in her life and you need to provide it for her. She clearly is not a leader and so you need to fill that role. Ordering her to switch off the TV doesn't sound like it will work so you need to be creative with how you can divert her attentions. On a side note, it doesn't sound like youve held your frame well in this relationship. And when she says you need to give her more attention, that translated to you need to make her pine for your attention. Sounds like she wants your attention but just expects you to hand it to her on a plate which means she's not in your frame.

 

[Young OG]

This might go against what other posters have said, but I would consider teaching her a lesson. If she's not going to listen to you about it, then I would do one of the following: sell the tv, remove the power cord and hide it, cut off the cable or satellite or netflix, if it's a smaller TV throw it in your car when you go to work. Your the man of the house. Your supposed to be in charge. She's not going to start reading books when she has a TV sitting right there that she's addicted to. She's not going to miss her shows.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I had this problem with my last live-in gf. I kept wanting to burn the couch while she was at work, so she couldn't sit on it and watch tv any more. I'm glad I didn't. I still have that couch; the gf, not so much.

 

[Sprayarc]

She's a degenerate.

 

[beforeimgone]

Hello fellas , I am looking for a little insight on something that is growing like a tumor in my day to day life .
I'm a 24 year old, my girlfriend is 23. We met when I was 17 and she was 16 respectively . Off the bat, we seemed to have allot in common. Musical tastes, and vs mutual love for The Lord of the Rings . We spoke on the phone for hours and actually would fall asleep in the phone overnight / every night. Back in those days I was a confused, adventurous, and fearless teenager who despite my romancing , was not trying to be tied down. I dropped out of high school at age 17 in the 11th grade and set out for Job Corps in Kentucky . I got my GED in under 6 months and returned to Baltimore. Let me fast forward a little bit. I ended up getting her pregnant when I came back from job corps and moved back to my home town of Atlanta,Ga . Time goes by , I realize my mistakes and move back to attempt to grow into manhood. Years later , we have an apartment and our daughter will be 5 in March . Happy ended right ? **** no , she is emotionally connected to a plethora of TV shows . To the point that if she doesn't watch them weekly then it directly effects her attitude . She is a habitual TV watcher , having the tv on in the background while not slightly interested in what is showing . While I was away in Atlanta years ago my daughter watched tv endlessly which contributes to her speech problems , im sure. We have lived together going to 3 years and I've been in a power struggle with her over the ****ing TV for a few months . I've restricted my 4 year olds TV/electronics time from over 8 hours a DAY to less than 2 hours a day . She has responded by picking up painting, drawing , listening to more music, singing and other non electronic things. Her speech has also gotten considerably better . My girlfriend is not lazy , and that's where the heart of her argument lies. I'm not lazy, I cook and clean and go to school . I'm just a homebody who likes watching TV . I spend my free time , reading, playing with my daughter or researching helpful information in regards to getting my child ready for kindergarten, because I do not trust school teachers until they've proven they're interested in my child . My girlfriend on the other hand can be found on the couch in her free time , watching ANY AND EVERYTHING .

It appears as though her investment in you is just a tad bit lower than her investment in the tv. I would love to offer a bit of insight. Once she is more invested in what you have to say than the television, she will be a lot more apt to listen to your grievances. If you would like to know how..


Read my thread:


"All it takes it two things to make her love you forever"

 

[BlackCheGuevara]

Thank you everyone , all varying opinions and responses have led me to a simple solution. If you love a woman you will compromise for as long as you are able to do so. I bought her a book for Christmas , she brought it to the living room from the bedroom bookshelf and laid it on the coffee table . And there it sat all day while the tv was on real housewives of Atlanta and other hood ****. I do not watch tv during the week , only during the weekends when football is on Sunday's. But I have some serious thinking to do so thank you all for your insight.

 

[Young OG]

Thank you everyone , all varying opinions and responses have led me to a simple solution. If you love a woman you will compromise for as long as you are able to do so. I bought her a book for Christmas , she brought it to the living room from the bedroom bookshelf and laid it on the coffee table . And there it sat all day while the tv was on real housewives of Atlanta and other hood ****. I do not watch tv during the week , only during the weekends when football is on Sunday's. But I have some serious thinking to do so thank you all for your insight.

Like I said in my earlier reply, shes not going to read a book when the tv is sitting right in front of her. Shes addicted to tv. Do you think a crack addict could go without crack with its sitting right in front of them? You need to cut off the tv. Take it away, cancel netflix/cable/satellite, or hide the power cord. Your the man of the house. Start acting like it!

 

[glass half full]

I've been there, swear I'll never have a tv in the bedroom again.