Dont chase/dont text/dont call

[Alpheta]

Seriously ive seen my rl turn on its head in the last 3 weeks.

Ive stopped checking in on her AT ALL. She initiates 100% of the times. Im always busy ALWAYS. If she calls ill pick up and sometimes i wont. When I do i make it 5/10 mins. I have STOPPED chasing and i kid you not this girl was showing 55% IL but now its in the 95%.

I dont ignore her i just give her very small time through out the week . When i see her we are all over each other. When we are out of sight BOOM i pull away. Not in a mean way but i become busy. Again I havent initiated ONCE in the last 3 weeks.Its kept me calmer, less insecure and just more in control. She begs me now. Only recently she said some stuff i didnt like, normally i would just warn her and she wouldnt take notice.Now that she said that stuff this time round, i calmly let her know that i wont take that crap and that she should go back and reconsider how she talks to me. 3 days of no contact and the texts i get from her are literally begging. She has called me and texted me about how she is sorry and that she loves me and that she has learnt her lesson. No grudge or bish fit. Shes behaving.

This is the girl that told me that she needs space just a month back.

 

[kenpiffyjr]

Good. Go grab another plate or two while you're in this moment

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Excellent illustration of how to "flip" the dynamic where you are chasing/pursuing too much and getting her to do it, by making yourself much less available.

Did the sex and intimacy also get more intense?

 

[Alpheta]

Excellent illustration of how to "flip" the dynamic where you are chasing/pursuing too much and getting her to do it, by making yourself much less available.

Did the sex and intimacy also get more intense?

she was a virgin.Didnt give it up for 10 months. 3 weeks of game change and i popped that lol

 

[mrgoodstuff]

she was a virgin.Didnt give it up for 10 months. 3 weeks of game change and i popped that lol

Did you know you where going to flip it, because the concentration required to do so when you have been chasing is really tough... Did you know you where going to flip it and how was the first few days to week for you?

 

[marmel75]

Definitely nice work with that...I would also gather that perhaps there might have been another guy in the picture that might have now dropped out...

 

[Lozboss]

I would also gather that perhaps there might have been another guy in the picture that might have now dropped out...

Don't always be such a downer on people's posts Marmel.

Just be happy that he's changing his approach and clearly becoming high value.

 

[marmel75]

Don't always be such a downer on people's posts Marmel.

Just be happy that he's changing his approach and clearly becoming high value.

I'm not being a downer, just being real.

 

[Lozboss]

I'm not being a downer, just being real.

Zzzzzzzz

What value does that add saying that? To make him feel bad about his achievement or success? This is a supportive community. I'm not saying blow smoke but that comments adds NOTHING but negativity.

 

[marmel75]

Zzzzzzzz

What value does that add saying that? To make him feel bad about his achievement or success? This is a supportive community. I'm not saying blow smoke but that comments adds NOTHING but negativity.

Not at all. It adds perspective and something for him to consider if he finds himself in a similar spot in the future.

 

[Lozboss]

Her IL overall is still low, you just triggered her abandonment fears

Don't agree with this- Isn't that essentially Dread Game?

You keep a woman on her toes because she knows you can walk away.

 

[logicallefty]

I read this situation as the OP went from her "needing space" to her needing to "clean her private place" after he busted up her sweet cherry pie. Nice job, handled like a boss.

 

[Alpheta]

Her IL overall is still low, you just triggered her abandonment fears

This is not a Game thread. This girl asked OP for a "break". Now she wants him bc he went soft NC when she wanted him to wait around like a good little boy. Unfortunately, he is not going to build on his success more than likely bc he wants to win her back ultimately.

That's not the case. She's been all over me for the past few weeks. I just haven't caved. I've changed the way I think. At this point I couldn't care much about her as much as I did before. Then my reason I've gone nc is because I CAN. I couldn't before. I would make excuses. Now that she went out of line I just feel like I can easily put her on hold. Just today literally like a few moments ago she texted me a huge essay of texts and calls. Saying she will never ever step out of line and that she is going mad.

My point is I had her head over heels before I went NC.

 

[Alpheta]

you havent even blocked her # and you're reading he texts and you say you've gone NC?



This is why I am saying what I said about abandonment, this is why she is going crazy and this is the point of this thread. NOT a game thread.

I. Went nc just temp to iron out her behaviour. It's actually really minor. I was way too needy before and now I'm not. So her response has been accordingly to that. I'm not emotional. I'm calm. Really it's been a flip. I've done it more for myself than anything tbh.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I'm not being a downer, just being real.

The other guy could've just been "talking" steeling away attention that should've been towards our member...

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I. Went nc just temp to iron out her behaviour. It's actually really minor. I was way too needy before and now I'm not. So her response has been accordingly to that. I'm not emotional. I'm calm. Really it's been a flip. I've done it more for myself than anything tbh.

How long of a NC period was it? And I assume during that time period you took control over your own life.

 

[HeadLightsOn]

Her IL overall is still low, you just triggered her abandonment fears

Interesting...

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Some here suspect she may still have low interest, and you have sparked abandonment fears Who knows? Only her.



It doesn't change the fact that the real lesson here is that you took back your power - and it feels good . It will go a long ways towards changes that attract her, or the next one.

Good work.

Thanks for putting it into words... This is exactly what he did.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

We aim to please here at Mauser Dating services, lol. Now I have to hit the shower. My GF has promised me a wild ride tonight.

Did she deliver on her promise?