Inlove with an older woman

[evil_tomato]

Hey all,

So I need some advice & suggestions in my current situation at the moment. For the past year I have been seeing and sleeping with an older mature woman (she is 50 and I'm 28) and am totally in love & infatuated with her. We met at work, sparks grew and before I knew it we ended up in bed together and have been continually sleeping together in a fu*k buddie arrangement which was her call....

She has been divorced for 3 years now and has a teenage son, who seems quite nice and friendly the times I have met him. Although she doesn't let me come over her house as she is still living with her ex father in law (its his house) who woudnt approve of her bringing me over to fu** so we are usually at hotels twice a month. When we first started talking she seemed pretty open to the idea of having a relationship with me but about 2 months after she decided she didn't want a relationship, thought they "weren't worth the trouble" because she got badly burnt by her ex and now is a bit jaded towards men and doesn't trust them....At first I was ok with this arrangement and thought maybe in time she might come around again to the idea of wanting to be with me but I was dead wrong....Its been 10 months now and not one hint of wanting to try out the idea and me getting constantly rejected everytime I ask her...And the worst part is I have severe oneitis for her and have grown to be completely in love with her....

She is absolutely gorgeous and sexy and so fit and good looking for her age that I sometimes forget she is 50...Ive tried hard many times to spin other plates and get with girls my own age but far out it never compares to what I have with her. She is constantly on my mind and as much as I enjoy being her seck toy, I'm starting to feel quite used and strung along. I have also tried many times to break things off with her and after 2 weeks we always seem to miss each other too much and find ourselves in bed again....This has happened multiple times and to the point where every time I suggest just calling it a day, she knows I wont last long and will be back soon and shes right. I cant let her go. I seriously do not know what to do anymore. My mind, my heart, my body just longs for her....Everytime we are together I find myself just staring at her beauty. She has still made it clear she wants no relationship with me, she wont even give me a chance!! I have no idea how she could of been open to the idea and then in a matter of a few weeks decide she doesn't want anything....

Help me out here because I have no idea what to do!!! she knows I'm very much in love with her and will never give her up even if I found the perfect young girl, my heart and soul will always belong to her....I just cant seem to switch off my feelings when it comes to her and now I find myself obsessed over her!! please help!

 

[DonJuanit0]

I will start by stating the obvious, you are too young to waste the rest of your 30 years with a woman that older with you!
I feel like I needed to say that first!

I have another question though, what is the difference for you in being in a relationship or not? Why are you making such a big deal? You wanna marry her eventually?

I can see where she is coming from easily while I have trouble understanding you! Love... Oh well, yes but there are so many wrong things in this situation...

 

[evil_tomato]

Yes I would love to marry her!! or better still if she didn't want that, then be in a relationship with her and let the whole world know shes mine! or just the thought of coming home to her every night and looking in to her beautiful eyes, and feeling her touch every night just makes me so complete!

Yes I know shes old enough to be my mom but I don't care!! ive even willing to sacrifice having kids (she doesn't want them) just to be with her!! My parents hate the idea that I'm pinning over someone close to their age but I don't care! I just need some sort of plan to make her see that I'm the man shes always wanted!

 

[Yewki]

^ Exactly.

It's a mistake to become infatuated with a woman at all, but that aside.... you're 28, she's 50. Think long temr here. In 15 years you probably wont even find her attractive anymore, and you'd only be like 40.

 

[DonJuanit0]

Yes I would love to marry her!! or better still if she didn't want that, then be in a relationship with her and let the whole world know shes mine! or just the thought of coming home to her every night and looking in to her beautiful eyes, and feeling her touch every night just makes me so complete!

Yes I know shes old enough to be my mom but I don't care!! ive even willing to sacrifice having kids (she doesn't want them) just to be with her!! My parents hate the idea that I'm pinning over someone close to their age but I don't care! I just need some sort of plan to make her see that I'm the man shes always wanted!

Doesn't want or can't have kids? Joking and not!

Anyway, for some reason you want validation of her being yours! It is wrong cause you shouldn't seek validation from a woman, but I do not know why this happens to you, I don't know you!
I think you should seriously have sex with someone at your age and rethink after that! Like Yewki said, in 20 years she will be unattractive! :/

 

[marmel75]

Trust me bro, when you are in your mid 40s and she is on Medicare with that wrinkly pvssy, it won't be so appealing...

 

[evil_tomato]

I have tried multiple times to go out on dates with women my age and in all honesty they bore me to death! I never seem to have any connection or spark that I get with her when I date younger women. Even the secks is not as good! I am always more satisfied and turned on when I have seck with her then these younger birds. This is why I keep finding myself back in bed with her...

As for her aging, well we may not be together in another 10 years but I don't see why we cant pursue something now and live in the moment as tomorrow is never guaranteed. Ive never felt this way about anyone and I'm sure ill love her even when she ages and her libido drops. And no she doesn't want anymore kids and that's cool

 

[dustmuffin]

Yes I would love to marry her!! or better still if she didn't want that, then be in a relationship with her and let the whole world know shes mine! or just the thought of coming home to her every night and looking in to her beautiful eyes, and feeling her touch every night just makes me so complete!

Yes I know shes old enough to be my mom but I don't care!! ive even willing to sacrifice having kids (she doesn't want them) just to be with her!! My parents hate the idea that I'm pinning over someone close to their age but I don't care! I just need some sort of plan to make her see that I'm the man shes always wanted!

OMG he talks just like a woman. Do you think he has tits?

 

[DonJuanit0]

I have tried multiple times to go out on dates with women my age and in all honesty they bore me to death! I never seem to have any connection or spark that I get with her when I date younger women. Even the secks is not as good! I am always more satisfied and turned on when I have seck with her then these younger birds. This is why I keep finding myself back in bed with her...

As for her aging, well we may not be together in another 10 years but I don't see why we cant pursue something now and live in the moment as tomorrow is never guaranteed. Ive never felt this way about anyone and I'm sure ill love her even when she ages and her libido drops. And no she doesn't want anymore kids and that's cool

I really can't help you with an answer here on how to make her want to have a relationship simply because you are irrational and she is not! There is no way to play around this, at least none I can think of!

As I get it, it's not about changing your mind, rather than finding you a way to convince her! I think this is one of those situations that you just can't force something. Sorry.

 

[evil_tomato]

Well then how do I get over this lady? and don't say cut off all contact because it is easier said then done and I have failed miserably multiple times and she knows this and knows she has the upper hand. I would love to cut her out of my life and let her see what shes missing but its so hard!! I mean don't get me wrong I will miss the good sex but my feelings for her seem to overpower it. I don't get how she could be so open to a relationship with me at the beginning and then all of a sudden do a 360 an say she doesn't want one! omg

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Your a weeny. You must not pull many chicks.

I don't care how hot she is or what she does for you. You have already giving up frame saying you want to marry her already. You don't even know this woman. She still lives in her ex husbands home. So for one she doesn't even have her sh!t together. How the hell is a woman 50 years old and she can't even have her own spot?

Also she is 50 years old! I doubt her body is great shape.... and even it is in 10-15 years there is no way she would be as attractive as she is now. As you get older you status is going to be on the rise while you are making more money, focusing on your confidence (which obviously you will do), become more stable. Her on the other hand is going to depreciate as she starts having health problems and isn't as attractive.

I know your going to go ahead and still be with this chick. When it doesn't work out please post and let us know. Best of luck to you though!

 

[DonJuanit0]

Well then how do I get over this lady? and don't say cut off all contact because it is easier said then done and I have failed miserably multiple times and she knows this and knows she has the upper hand. I would love to cut her out of my life and let her see what shes missing but its so hard!! I mean don't get me wrong I will miss the good sex but my feelings for her seem to overpower it. I don't get how she could be so open to a relationship with me at the beginning and then all of a sudden do a 360 an say she doesn't want one! omg

Tell her that you want this to end without telling her why! There is no reason telling her anything because you will end up begging again for her attention and approval! That's what you've been doing by asking her to be in a LTR with you.

When you finish it, when you wanna have sex, go with another chick or even masturbate! We all know how we think of a woman but when we get rid of the poison we are back to normal. Obviously, this will not help when you miss her or think about her but mostly for the sex part.

In time, you will stop missing her, want her and she will become a memory. We've all been there and probably so have you! You are still young so you will easily be able to get your life back together (Relationship wise) and think with a clear mind.

If you want my opinion, do it, do it now that is still early!

 

[dustmuffin]

Well then how do I get over this lady? and don't say cut off all contact because it is easier said then done and I have failed miserably multiple times and she knows this and knows she has the upper hand. I would love to cut her out of my life and let her see what shes missing but its so hard!! I mean don't get me wrong I will miss the good sex but my feelings for her seem to overpower it. I don't get how she could be so open to a relationship with me at the beginning and then all of a sudden do a 360 an say she doesn't want one! omg

Get a side girl

 

[marmel75]

Your a weeny. You must not pull many chicks.

I don't care how hot she is or what she does for you. You have already giving up frame saying you want to marry her already. You don't even know this woman. She still lives in her ex husbands home. So for one she doesn't even have her sh!t together. How the hell is a woman 50 years old and she can't even have her own spot?

Also she is 50 years old! I doubt her body is great shape.... and even it is in 10-15 years there is no way she would be as attractive as she is now. As you get older you status is going to be on the rise while you are making more money, focusing on your confidence (which obviously you will do), become more stable. Her on the other hand is going to depreciate as she starts having health problems and isn't as attractive.

I know your going to go ahead and still be with this chick. When it doesn't work out please post and let us know. Best of luck to you though!

LMAO! Pretty much spot on...

OP, why does it matter to you so much that you need to be in a relationship with this woman? Men get into relationships primarily to obtain sex regularly, which you already have, so why are you trying reverse gender roles? She is happy with being Fvck Buddies, and you are begging for a relationship. This is the exact opposite of how it's supposed to work. You are already getting the most important thing out of any relationship you would have with a woman so why do you care what she is? As long as you are getting laid, it doesn't matter.

No woman wants to play the male role in the relationship while you play the female role...its like the Kryptonite to attraction.

 

[evil_tomato]

Shes living with her ex father in law not husband, and he wont allow me to come over to his house to bang her.....She doesn't have her own place because shes getting cheap rent living with him and her son gets to spend time with his grandfather every day....

I mean she wont even let me take her out on dates or be seen in public with her because shes scared of the reaction we will get ie everyone thinking that I'm her son and shes a cougar...this hurts me a bit but what do you do....

And I don't want a "side chick", I don't need one, I'm already so satisfied with her and she turns me on so much. So I guess all I am wanting to know is obvisously this situation is toxic for me so do I just ghost her and drop off the face of the earth or tell her that I'm done? (which she wont believe)

I am not going to get what I ultimately want from her so I don't see the point in sticking around torturing myself over it despite the good sex, its coming with a price at the moment

 

[marmel75]

Shes living with her ex father in law not husband, and he wont allow me to come over to his house to bang her.....She doesn't have her own place because shes getting cheap rent living with him and her son gets to spend time with his grandfather every day....

I mean she wont even let me take her out on dates or be seen in public with her because shes scared of the reaction we will get ie everyone thinking that I'm her son and shes a cougar...this hurts me a bit but what do you do....

And I don't want a "side chick", I don't need one, I'm already so satisfied with her and she turns me on so much. So I guess all I am wanting to know is obvisously this situation is toxic for me so do I just ghost her and drop off the face of the earth or tell her that I'm done? (which she wont believe)

I am not going to get what I ultimately want from her so I don't see the point in sticking around torturing myself over it despite the good sex, its coming with a price at the moment

Honestly, I'm going to suggest you get your Testosterone and Estradiol levels checked because this is the reaction a female would have...OP, I'm being serious. This is not how a man with high levels of testosterone would act, I'm going to bet you have low T...I would never, ever, ever think like this about things...if I was fvcking a chick I could care less what my "relationship status" was with her. No offense, but acting like a woman while you are a man is not attractive and makes you look weak.

 

[evil_tomato]

I guess the reason why I am struggling with this is because I cant understand how a woman of her age isn't trying to pursue a relationship with an attractive young fit guy like me? It blows my mind.....

And no my Testosterone levels are fine thanks I have no issues getting sexually aroused or h0rny. I am simply just a man who has fallen for a beautiful lady. I know lots of guys here have jaded views on love and women but I'm not one of them and don't see anything wrong with have feelings for someone so if you are not going to post anything to help me out then don't post at all

 

[grayclif]

This site is not the place to come if you seek advice on gaming a woman nearly twice your age.

Now lets take the age thing out of it. When analyzing your relationship it seems you have lost frame and what guy wants to be in a relationship where you have lost all power.

Nobody here is in interested in this dynamic or anything close to it. The only course of action is sever thd relationship and go no contact. Delete her everything (Facebook, Linkedin, (Google+ - you seem the type)) and go down to the phone company and block her numbers etc. I can't believe you told your parents about this. And spin plates for Christ's sake.

 

[HeadLightsOn]

This post has to be a joke. I mean that or this is a female OP. Seriously this:

"Yes I would love to marry her!! or better still if she didn't want that, then be in a relationship with her and let the whole world know shes mine!"

Please, please dont be like that. It makes me soft reading that. Aw crap, now Im flaccid for the next week...

 

[grayclif]

This post has to be a joke.

It's not. I went back and looked at a few other threads he's started. He's AFC through and through. He would be less of one if he ever took some of the excellent advice sent his way. Seems he's interested in only his posts and not any other which is why he makes so many silly mistakes. Sad really.