Field Report: Where to improve?

[Konada]

Konada: Definitely had fun last night. Was yours fun (possibly illegal)?
HB8: Hahaha. Yeah kinda had fun last night. Whatcha doing?
<2 hours later>
HB8: Since you live so near me, would you wanna hang out since I'm bored.
Konada: Kinda busy now studying for tomorrow exams.
Konada: I'm heading to xxx around 930pm, join me if you want to
HB8: Hahaha u having exams tomorrow and yet u heading to drink? Hhaha
Konada:Well nothing beats clearing my mind before exams. See you later
HB8: Hahaha you are heading there with your friends?
Konada: Alone. Better control yourself! Don't want to be taking a passed out girl home
HB8: Hahaha sure sure. See u there?
Konada: Yep see you
HB8: Yup alright see u hah

I head over to the place for a drink, don't really care whether she shows up or not because I'm simply there to chill. She comes by around 10pm, slightly chubbier than in her photos, I'll give her a 7. Straight off the bat she gives me sh!t for drinking alone, telling me how weird it is and why did I choose such a place. I told her "What's wrong with chilling alone with a cool beer? I like it here.", didn't faze me one bit, I was pretty nonchalant about it.

She orders a bottle and sits beside me at the bar counter, but I can already see she's not comfortable with me. Literally a full arm's length away from me. I motion her to come over since she's sitting pretty far and the music is loud. She says 'I'm scared of you.' I pay no attention to that, just smile and continue drinking my beer. She was hesitant about meeting up because I turned off my read receipts for Whatsapp and she was feeling insecure whether I will stand her up.

We had a good chat but the main pet peeve I got with her was she was constantly glued to her phone even when I hinted "Something must be very interesting on your phone" and gave her **** for it "So what do you do other than being glued to your phone the whole day?". Rolled along with it since I need experience under my belt since I've only been on 4 first dates so far my entire life (including this).

She asked me about how many girls I've met off Tinder, I tell her 'I don't kiss and tell.' and then again about blowing her off Saturday night. She assumed I had plans with another girl off tinder but I told her 'That's for me to know and for you to find out. Although I will find it creepy if you start stalking me.' Also, she told me I'm the first guy who tells girls to buy sh!t for him (I jokingly told her to buy me a beer, send me home etc.)

Applied kino throughout with my hand on her shoulder when I'm trying to make a point, hand on her thigh etc... No resistance, although I wasn't getting any IOIs from her and her being glued to her phone was a clear indicator she's not interested, although there was alot of hair playing by her. Over time, she got closer and we had our legs touching, I was getting particularly pissed off by her being glued to the phone so I turned my body away from her and enjoyed the scene infront of me. She got closer until our arms were touching but the music was getting bad so I suggested we make a move and take a short walk.

Through our short walk to the riverside, she was constantly bumping into me but when we sat down by the river, her proximity was again really far for any escalation to take place. We sat down, talked more, lots of hair playing but no eye contact from her. Tried to get her to open up about her dreams and passions but apparently she doesn't have any. What a dud. Tells me she enjoys being a bum etc.. Gave her **** for it but overall she was a nice person to talk to, has her head screwed on right from what I gather and complimented her about it "You know its rare I come across someone our age that is that mature." She didn't eat that sh!t up even though I was being genuine about it. I tried kino (playing with her bracelet, touching her back, thigh etc.) again but I got no reciprocation so I backed off.

I got hungry and went over to a nearby ice-cream shack to get some ice-cream. Talked abit more and she keep apologizing saying "You looked bored, sorry if I bored you with all my talking." I just looked at her, smiled and continued enjoying the silence. Overall, she was a nice person to converse with but I never felt an interested vibe from her even once, she was probably bored and needed someone to hang out with. We shared a cab home and it was silent throughout the ride. She gave me her share of the bill for the night and left the cab after saying 'Good Night.'

No follow-up text after that. I feel that somehow I fvcked this up by not pushing further but I wasn't getting the vibe she was really interested in hooking up. Body language I would say was neutral but proximity and she being glued to her phone screamed I'm not interested.

Look forward to hearing your critique and areas of which I can improve. I feel like other than escalation, good conversation that turns them on is what I'm having trouble with.

 

[iovannis]

Reminds me of one of my dates I had couple months ago. She pretty much acted as you described in your text.
My scenario I was at beach chilling with her, and I see her picking her phone up and message all the time next thing I see she is taking photos of sundown, I spontaneously take her phone and take picture of my ****, I say here you go. She blushed and hide her phone she looked at my eyes and smiles. I continue with the sexy vibe cracking up some jokes putting my hand around her thighs, hair, kissed her neck. I felt that she enjoyed it but was very shy.
Couple minutes after she say to me "you are a player!", I was like don't put label on my forehand. But since that she shut me off.
I do admit though I was perhaps giving away to much of "player vibe". She still contacted me though couple days after. I know I triggered butterflies in her stomach and wide road of emotions.

Don't get frustrated when she is on her phone, because she will notice it. However I'd say in direct manner about her phone. Gotta be strict sometimes and be in charge. Because in a sense it's no shown of respect when you all the time on the phone.

 

[Mr Wright]

Push. The. Envelope.

When you're in the room, take most of her body language and the way she's acting around you with a pinch of salt. Girls play too many damn games to spend your time figuring out what they mean. Do your thing and let her be the one to hold back first. Think of the interaction like a car, you're the accelerator and she's the brakes, you don't lift of the gas first. I know when you're first getting used to dating it's easy to be really aware of everything that's happening but you have to let go of all that. In terms of the way she's acting just remember one thing, she turned up, which means she has some interest. I'd also mention that the way you talk with girls over text and when you're talking face to face comes across a little try hard, if she's throwing crap at you like "are you seeing other girls from Tinder?" I think any verbal reaction is weak sauce and buying into her bullshït frame. I find that silence and ignoring what she says works wonders. One because you don't have to deal with awkward questions, which are designed to trip you up and two your reaction will make her more attracted to you. The silence confuses her. You want her to feel like she's screwing up a bit and silence and strong eye contact works wonders with that because she's not getting a reaction...and women usually always get a reaction, so she must have screwed up. Most guys don't pull that sorta crap because they're trying to impress her, which is the vibe I get from this date. So fück trying to impress her, she's turned up so assume she's interested, from there have a normal conversation, flirt and escalate. Keep going because once you get it, it really is fücking easy. I rarely post anymore because it would be so boring to read the same thing over and over again, with the odd slight variation.

Also try and kiss her next time, if she's not up for it, it's not a big deal. The guy's who get rejected the most, also get laid the most.

 

[marmel75]

Never wait for an IOI from a woman to escalate. The fact she gave no resistance to your Kino was an IOI enough.

 

[Ronaldo7]

The guy's who get rejected the most, also get laid the most.

Precisely this. You miss 100% of the shots you do not take.

 

[amazingswayze]

She sounds like a b*tch. I would have nexted her.

 

[NSX-R]

She liked you. You acted well but you didn't pushed enough.

 

[macallik]

Konada: Definitely had fun last night. Was yours fun (possibly illegal)?
HB8: Hahaha. Yeah kinda had fun last night. Whatcha doing?
<2 hours later>
HB8: Since you live so near me, would you wanna hang out since I'm bored.
Konada: Kinda busy now studying for tomorrow exams.
Konada: I'm heading to xxx around 930pm, join me if you want to
HB8: Hahaha u having exams tomorrow and yet u heading to drink? Hhaha
Konada:Well nothing beats clearing my mind before exams. See you later
HB8: Hahaha you are heading there with your friends?
Konada: Alone. Better control yourself! Don't want to be taking a passed out girl home
HB8: Hahaha sure sure. See u there?

You are insinuating that you are going to take her home as long as she doesn't get too drunk and she agrees with it. Since she is clearly interested (which is why she reinitiated and essentially invited you out on a date) it is a good phrasing and a good response. In the future, you will notice this as a sign of being highly interested and shift gears in how you approach the date.

She comes by around 10pm, slightly chubbier than in her photos, I'll give her a 7. Straight off the bat she gives me sh!t for drinking alone, telling me how weird it is and why did I choose such a place. I told her "What's wrong with chilling alone with a cool beer? I like it here.", didn't faze me one bit, I was pretty nonchalant about it.

This is insecurity on her part. It sounds like she is just trying to make conversation. If she thinks you are weird, what does it say about her that she is texting you to hang out. Realize when someone is talking just to fill space because they are shy/nervous/quiet/insecure.

She orders a bottle and sits beside me at the bar counter, but I can already see she's not comfortable with me. Literally a full arm's length away from me. I motion her to come over since she's sitting pretty far and the music is loud. She says 'I'm scared of you.' I pay no attention to that, just smile and continue drinking my beer. She was hesitant about meeting up because I turned off my read receipts for Whatsapp and she was feeling insecure whether I will stand her up.

Why are you doing things to make your job harder by turning off your WhatsApp notifications? If she is a 7, why are you trying to game her like she is a 10 with multiple options?

Additionally, your goal was to get closer and initiate kino. It was not to get her to move closer and then initiate kino. By asking her to move closer, you put the ball in her court. Even if she is super interested, she might feel shy about moving close to you. Instead, you should just move close to her and then she has to decide how to react to that.

We had a good chat but the main pet peeve I got with her was she was constantly glued to her phone even when I hinted "Something must be very interesting on your phone" and gave her **** for it "So what do you do other than being glued to your phone the whole day?". Rolled along with it since I need experience under my belt since I've only been on 4 first dates so far my entire life (including this).

Don't passive aggressively tackle your concerns. If you feel upset about her talking, nicely ask her to put her phone away without throwing shade. For example, you can pull your phone out and text someone and then say, "Sorry, I shouldn't be texting when I am here trying to get to know you better. How about we don't pick up our phones for the next hour?" That way, you are not confronting her about her poor behavior, the two of you are 'agreeing' to not use your phones for a while.

She asked me about how many girls I've met off Tinder, I tell her 'I don't kiss and tell.' and then again about blowing her off Saturday night. She assumed I had plans with another girl off tinder but I told her 'That's for me to know and for you to find out. Although I will find it creepy if you start stalking me.' Also, she told me I'm the first guy who tells girls to buy sh!t for him (I jokingly told her to buy me a beer, send me home etc.)

How is she going to find out if you date girls in Tinder? I get what you were trying, but logically it doesn't really make sense.

Applied kino throughout with my hand on her shoulder when I'm trying to make a point, hand on her thigh etc... No resistance, although I wasn't getting any IOIs from her and her being glued to her phone was a clear indicator she's not interested, although there was alot of hair playing by her. Over time, she got closer and we had our legs touching, I was getting particularly pissed off by her being glued to the phone so I turned my body away from her and enjoyed the scene infront of me. She got closer until our arms were touching but the music was getting bad so I suggested we make a move and take a short walk.

It definitely is frustrating when someone is on their phone while you are trying to have a conversation. With that said, it sounds like she maybe unsure/insecure, so she was using her device out of nervousness/habit more than disinterest in you as a person from the sound of things.

I like your segue to going for a walk. If things aren't playing well at a certain location, it is never a bad idea to switch things up a bit to recalibrate and shift your gameplan.

Through our short walk to the riverside, she was constantly bumping into me but when we sat down by the river, her proximity was again really far for any escalation to take place. We sat down, talked more, lots of hair playing but no eye contact from her. Tried to get her to open up about her dreams and passions but apparently she doesn't have any.

Bumping into you as she walks is a clear IOI. Agreeing to walk with you by herself is a potential IOI. In the future you will be able to use the previous interactions as context for whether she is interested or not. Also, it is your job to initiate/escalate kino btw, not hers. If she is too far away to kino, then you need to figure out how to get closer to her.

I will say though you are ahead of a lot of men by trying to figure out what her dreams and passions are. People fall for others who understand and accept their dreams/goals. If you haven't done so, you should definitely read up on Eliciting Values.

What a dud. Tells me she enjoys being a bum etc.. Gave her **** for it but overall she was a nice person to talk to, has her head screwed on right from what I gather and complimented her about it "You know its rare I come across someone our age that is that mature." She didn't eat that sh!t up even though I was being genuine about it. I tried kino (playing with her bracelet, touching her back, thigh etc.) again but I got no reciprocation so I backed off.

Well played and a good sincere compliment that will build rapport more often than not. Nothing works 100% but you are definitely going in the right direction.

I got hungry and went over to a nearby ice-cream shack to get some ice-cream. Talked abit more and she keep apologizing saying "You looked bored, sorry if I bored you with all my talking." I just looked at her, smiled and continued enjoying the silence. Overall, she was a nice person to converse with but I never felt an interested vibe from her even once, she was probably bored and needed someone to hang out with. We shared a cab home and it was silent throughout the ride. She gave me her share of the bill for the night and left the cab after saying 'Good Night.'

Generally, indifferent women don't apologize for talking to you. She sounds relatively new to dating as well. I think you played things well for the most part.

No follow-up text after that. I feel that somehow I fvcked this up by not pushing further but I wasn't getting the vibe she was really interested in hooking up. Body language I would say was neutral but proximity and she being glued to her phone screamed I'm not interested.

Follow up texts are generally high interest in my experience. With that said, I don't think there is anything that screams low interest in the interaction personally.

 

[macallik]

Look forward to hearing your critique and areas of which I can improve. I feel like other than escalation, good conversation that turns them on is what I'm having trouble with.

If you are trying to build a rapport and get a gf, then you focus on talking about passions, dreams, building rapport, etc. This was the path that you took from the sound of things. If you are interested in some hanky panky, then you need to guide conversations towards sex in a tasteful way. A problem with a lot of guys is they just drill sexual topics which works occasionally but can often scare women away. If the girl is tipsy and DTF then I will go for the kill, but if not, I like to talk about tangential topics and then segue into sexual talk so that it doesn't appear as out of the blue and it seems like a natural progression of the conversation/interaction. For example, let say you are at the bar and tv is on in the background. Some guys might say randomly "What is your favorite sexual position?" What I would do is lead the conversation along:

1) Ask her what type of TV she likes
2) Tell her what type of TV you like
3) Ask her if she watches reality shows
4) Ask her what she thinks of Kim K.
5) Ask her if she ever saw the sex tape
6) Pivot from talking about the sex tape to sex in general

It is a natural to talk about sex when talking about reality tv and Kim K and so her defenses are down and the topic is more easy to approach imo.

With that said, I wouldn't sweat your interaction too much. Definitely see a lot of potential in your interaction. One thing to remember is that if something you do/say is not getting you closer to your intended goal, you probably don't need to do or say it because it is probably hurting your chances. For example, the ****y response you gave to her question about Tinder likely made it unintentionally harder for you to build rapport later on in the date.

Overall though, it is college and you are paying attention to where you can get better so I think that you will get good if you can analyzing where you can improve. Seems like you are already on the right track. Kudos

 

[Willie Naylor]

Konada: Definitely had fun last night. Was yours fun (possibly illegal)?
HB8: Hahaha. Yeah kinda had fun last night. Whatcha doing?
<2 hours later>
HB8: Since you live so near me, would you wanna hang out since I'm bored.
Konada: Kinda busy now studying for tomorrow exams.
Konada: I'm heading to xxx around 930pm, join me if you want to
HB8: Hahaha u having exams tomorrow and yet u heading to drink? Hhaha
Konada:Well nothing beats clearing my mind before exams. See you later
HB8: Hahaha you are heading there with your friends?
Konada: Alone. Better control yourself! Don't want to be taking a passed out girl home
HB8: Hahaha sure sure. See u there?
Konada: Yep see you
HB8: Yup alright see u hah

You made this more difficult than it had to be. She asked you to come over and rock her world.

You proceeded to pretend you were busy. Why you did this, I have no idea.

This Field Report should look like this -

Konada: Definitely had fun last night. Was yours fun (possibly illegal)?
HB8: Hahaha. Yeah kinda had fun last night. Whatcha doing?
<2 hours later>
HB8: Since you live so near me, would you wanna hang out since I'm bored.
Konada: Sure. I'll be there in 30.

 

[SammyNfor]

You made this more difficult than it had to be. She asked you to come over and rock her world.

You proceeded to pretend you were busy. Why you did this, I have no idea.

This Field Report should look like this -

Konada: Definitely had fun last night. Was yours fun (possibly illegal)?
HB8: Hahaha. Yeah kinda had fun last night. Whatcha doing?
<2 hours later>
HB8: Since you live so near me, would you wanna hang out since I'm bored.
Konada: Sure. I'll be there in 30.

THIS!!!!

 

[BackInTheGame78]

This chick did not come out at 9pm at night for you to eat ice cream on a bench with her...

 

[zinc4]

Konada: Definitely had fun last night. Was yours fun (possibly illegal)?
HB8: Hahaha. Yeah kinda had fun last night. Whatcha doing?
<2 hours later>
HB8: Since you live so near me, would you wanna hang out since I'm bored.
Konada: Kinda busy now studying for tomorrow exams.
Konada: I'm heading to xxx around 930pm, join me if you want to
HB8: Hahaha u having exams tomorrow and yet u heading to drink? Hhaha
Konada:Well nothing beats clearing my mind before exams. See you later
HB8: Hahaha you are heading there with your friends?
Konada: Alone. Better control yourself! Don't want to be taking a passed out girl home
HB8: Hahaha sure sure. See u there?
Konada: Yep see you
HB8: Yup alright see u hah

I head over to the place for a drink, don't really care whether she shows up or not because I'm simply there to chill. She comes by around 10pm, slightly chubbier than in her photos, I'll give her a 7. Straight off the bat she gives me sh!t for drinking alone, telling me how weird it is and why did I choose such a place. I told her "What's wrong with chilling alone with a cool beer? I like it here.", didn't faze me one bit, I was pretty nonchalant about it.

She orders a bottle and sits beside me at the bar counter, but I can already see she's not comfortable with me. Literally a full arm's length away from me. I motion her to come over since she's sitting pretty far and the music is loud. She says 'I'm scared of you.' I pay no attention to that, just smile and continue drinking my beer. She was hesitant about meeting up because I turned off my read receipts for Whatsapp and she was feeling insecure whether I will stand her up.

We had a good chat but the main pet peeve I got with her was she was constantly glued to her phone even when I hinted "Something must be very interesting on your phone" and gave her **** for it "So what do you do other than being glued to your phone the whole day?". Rolled along with it since I need experience under my belt since I've only been on 4 first dates so far my entire life (including this).

She asked me about how many girls I've met off Tinder, I tell her 'I don't kiss and tell.' and then again about blowing her off Saturday night. She assumed I had plans with another girl off tinder but I told her 'That's for me to know and for you to find out. Although I will find it creepy if you start stalking me.' Also, she told me I'm the first guy who tells girls to buy sh!t for him (I jokingly told her to buy me a beer, send me home etc.)

Applied kino throughout with my hand on her shoulder when I'm trying to make a point, hand on her thigh etc... No resistance, although I wasn't getting any IOIs from her and her being glued to her phone was a clear indicator she's not interested, although there was alot of hair playing by her. Over time, she got closer and we had our legs touching, I was getting particularly pissed off by her being glued to the phone so I turned my body away from her and enjoyed the scene infront of me. She got closer until our arms were touching but the music was getting bad so I suggested we make a move and take a short walk.

Through our short walk to the riverside, she was constantly bumping into me but when we sat down by the river, her proximity was again really far for any escalation to take place. We sat down, talked more, lots of hair playing but no eye contact from her. Tried to get her to open up about her dreams and passions but apparently she doesn't have any. What a dud. Tells me she enjoys being a bum etc.. Gave her **** for it but overall she was a nice person to talk to, has her head screwed on right from what I gather and complimented her about it "You know its rare I come across someone our age that is that mature." She didn't eat that sh!t up even though I was being genuine about it. I tried kino (playing with her bracelet, touching her back, thigh etc.) again but I got no reciprocation so I backed off.

I got hungry and went over to a nearby ice-cream shack to get some ice-cream. Talked abit more and she keep apologizing saying "You looked bored, sorry if I bored you with all my talking." I just looked at her, smiled and continued enjoying the silence. Overall, she was a nice person to converse with but I never felt an interested vibe from her even once, she was probably bored and needed someone to hang out with. We shared a cab home and it was silent throughout the ride. She gave me her share of the bill for the night and left the cab after saying 'Good Night.'

No follow-up text after that. I feel that somehow I fvcked this up by not pushing further but I wasn't getting the vibe she was really interested in hooking up. Body language I would say was neutral but proximity and she being glued to her phone screamed I'm not interested.

Look forward to hearing your critique and areas of which I can improve. I feel like other than escalation, good conversation that turns them on is what I'm having trouble with.

Why didnt you make a move??? She just sounds very insecure and nervous to me...boring as hell too... but the fact is she followed you along the entire date and didnt make an excuse to leave after all your kino attempts. That is a green light to me.

Some girls are like this and it looks like they arent into you wt all until you just take it so to speak. These really nervous ones stay on their phones like that too.

You should have made an excuse to stop during the walk grabbed her to you and tried to kiss her. Got to be hyper aggressive with these types.

But yeah....she is PND at best. What a boring sounding girl. She sounds like she didnt really like you too much but would have been okay with the one time hookup. Just my opinion based on my experience.