Realizing Just How "Alone" I Am

[BeTheChange]

Real friendships, like any good relationships take time to develop - often years.

But OP is a glass half empty kind of guy so his predicament is not all that surprising.

I went through a brief period at uni where I was like this and then I'd sit there wondering why too.

Now I have a loyal group of friends, some of whom were there for me in my darkest hour.

Nothing's going to change until OP realizes the only common denominator in his series of failed relationships is himself.

Hard, but necessary truth.

 

[Tenacity]

Nothing's going to change until OP realizes the only common denominator in his series of failed relationships is himself.

But I'm not the only common denominator, there are other common denominators included such as "Macro" factors like Feminism and Gynocentrism, which have negatively affected the behaviors (and loyalty) of both men and women.

- Based on your Logic/Ration, a black man in 1940 that can't get a job (series of failed job interviews) is to blame in total as he's the supposed only common denominator in all of these job interviews....with you totally failing to examine the "Macro" factors of the country going through overt Jim Crow Racial discrimination and segregation.

- Based on your Logic/Ration, a man that can't find stable employment during the Great Depression is to blame in total as he's the supposed only common denominator....with you totally failing to examine the "Macro" factors of the country going through the Great Depression where jobs were very scarce.

- Based on your Logic/Ration, a Republican that can't get elected in an Inner City that's low income, predominantly black, have Democrats running every major seat, and an area that's voted for Democrats for 60 years, is to blame for his inability to get elected as he's the supposed only common denominator in all of these elections....with you totally failing to examine the "Macro" factors of the area such as the fact that the area is an extremely Left-Wing/Liberal/Socialist area and anybody with even somewhat Moderate Conservative views will have a very difficult time getting elected (if ever).

I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I honestly don't believe that the high levels of disloyalty, back-stabbing, mistrust, shaddy shyt, and the like that's running rampant in our society today is somehow MY FAULT.

 

[BeTheChange]

But I'm not the only common denominator, there are other common denominators included such as "Macro" factors like Feminism and Gynocentrism, which have negatively affected the behaviors (and loyalty) of both men and women.

- Based on your Logic/Ration, a black man in 1940 that can't get a job (series of failed job interviews) is to blame in total as he's the supposed only common denominator in all of these job interviews....with you totally failing to examine the "Macro" factors of the country going through overt Jim Crow Racial discrimination and segregation.

- Based on your Logic/Ration, a man that can't find stable employment during the Great Depression is to blame in total as he's the supposed only common denominator....with you totally failing to examine the "Macro" factors of the country going through the Great Depression where jobs were very scarce.

- Based on your Logic/Ration, a Republican that can't get elected in an Inner City that's low income, predominantly black, have Democrats running every major seat, and an area that's voted for Democrats for 60 years, is to blame for his inability to get elected as he's the supposed only common denominator in all of these elections....with you totally failing to examine the "Macro" factors of the area such as the fact that the area is an extremely Left-Wing/Liberal/Socialist area and anybody with even somewhat Moderate Conservative views will have a very difficult time getting elected (if ever).

I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I honestly don't believe that the high levels of disloyalty, back-stabbing, mistrust, shaddy shyt, and the like that's running rampant in our society today is somehow MY FAULT.

And yet millions of people are able to forge successful and fulfilling personal and romantic relationships. Must be a conspiracy.

 

[Tenacity]

And yet millions of people are able to forge successful and fulfilling personal and romantic relationships. Must be a conspiracy.

How do you know the structure of their relationships? I'm curious?

- What percentage of them are just together because it's cheaper to keep her?

- What percentage of them argue all of the time, in debt through their eyeballs, but put up a front to society in terms of the current "happy" status of their relationship?

Bottom line, how do you know that the vast majority of these relationships are happy/fulfilling relationships and the people aren't just putting up a front?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

How do you know the structure of their relationships? I'm curious?

- What percentage of them are just together because it's cheaper to keep her?

- What percentage of them argue all of the time, in debt through their eyeballs, but put up a front to society in terms of the current "happy" status of their relationship?

Bottom line, how do you know that the vast majority of these relationships are happy/fulfilling relationships and the people aren't just putting up a front?

We don't know. People can be in debt but be happy because they are unselfishly in it together, supporting each other thru tough and easy times alike. These people still exist in our world, but most of us here are thinking people more than ever are thinking they have all the answers, more selfish and entitled. Hence having to hedge your relationships to make up for what likely is going to happen.

 

[BeTheChange]

How do you know the structure of their relationships? I'm curious?

- What percentage of them are just together because it's cheaper to keep her?

- What percentage of them argue all of the time, in debt through their eyeballs, but put up a front to society in terms of the current "happy" status of their relationship?

Bottom line, how do you know that the vast majority of these relationships are happy/fulfilling relationships and the people aren't just putting up a front?

And how do you know they are not happy?

You are trying to make the self-comforting assumption that because your life is so miserable everyone else's must be.

 

[dillj]

not everyone, but a large majority ARE miserable, cause they had kids without first having adequate savings, guaranteed. If you can't afford nannies to let you still have fun away from the kids, as well as private schools, all the way to master's degree, you can't afford kids, period. So you're miserable, so are your kids, and all the other taxpayers have to fund your bs failings

 

[Tenacity]

And how do you know they are not happy?

That's the thing, I DON'T know. You were the one that responded saying there were millions of people in happy/fulfilling relationships, how do you know this? Are you on the wall in their homes and know what's going on behind closed doors? I don't, so I'm not going to get up here and say how someone's relationship is or isn't.

What I do know, is that a lot of people flat out fake being happy in relationships based on individuals coming out and talking about the situation truthfully well after the fact. I know myself personally, where I have just stayed with a girl even though I wasn't "fulfilled" but just wanted someone around.

You are trying to make the self-comforting assumption that because your life is so miserable everyone else's must be.

You love to throw out statements with no detailed facts behind them. How is my life miserable? When did I say my life was miserable? Can you provide this information?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

That's the thing, I DON'T know. You were the one that responded saying there were millions of people in happy/fulfilling relationships, how do you know this? Are you on the wall in their homes and know what's going on behind closed doors? I don't, so I'm not going to get up here and say how someone's relationship is or isn't.

What I do know, is that a lot of people flat out fake being happy in relationships based on individuals coming out and talking about the situation truthfully well after the fact. I know myself personally, where I have just stayed with a girl even though I wasn't "fulfilled" but just wanted someone around.



You love to throw out statements with no detailed facts behind them. How is my life miserable? When did I say my life was miserable? Can you provide this information?

yeah bro, but some people ARE happy. It's not a 100% perfect relationship but they really like each other and get along. Those people still exist.

 

[Tenacity]

yeah bro, but some people ARE happy. It's not a 100% perfect relationship but they really like each other and get along. Those people still exist.

I'm sure they do and I'm happy for them. My life has been and will be just out of the mainstream going forward, and I've accepted that.

- My career was and is out of the mainstream. It's new, innovative and disruptive to traditional financial systems.

- The way I completed my education was out of the mainstream.

- The way I became fit and toned was "somewhat" out of the mainstream.

- The way I pull women is out of the mainstream lol.

- The way I manage my expenses (being a Minimalist) is out of the mainstream.

- The fact that I don't invest in mutual funds but prefer long term CDs, is out of the mainstream.

I'm not apart of the mainstream. Growing up I thought I was weird, today, I've learned to accept my uniqueness as well as find HAPPINESS in it. This thread was about realizing how alone I truly was, which is weird.......but I'm learning to accept it because quite honestly, I have more fun when I'm by myself than when I'm around a gang of people anyway.

I've never fit into teams or groups well, I've always excelled when I was left the hell alone to do my "own thing".

Put me in a team setting, I'm going to fail. Put me in an independent setting or the leader of said group, I will win all day long.

 

[Reykhel]

I'm sure they do and I'm happy for them. My life has been and will be just out of the mainstream going forward, and I've accepted that.

- My career was and is out of the mainstream. It's new, innovative and disruptive to traditional financial systems.

- The way I completed my education was out of the mainstream.

- The way I became fit and toned was "somewhat" out of the mainstream.

- The way I pull women is out of the mainstream lol.

- The way I manage my expenses (being a Minimalist) is out of the mainstream.

- The fact that I don't invest in mutual funds but prefer long term CDs, is out of the mainstream.

I'm not apart of the mainstream. Growing up I thought I was weird, today, I've learned to accept my uniqueness as well as find HAPPINESS in it. This thread was about realizing how alone I truly was, which is weird.......but I'm learning to accept it because quite honestly, I have more fun when I'm by myself than when I'm around a gang of people anyway.

I've never fit into teams or groups well, I've always excelled when I was left the hell alone to do my "own thing".

Put me in a team setting, I'm going to fail. Put me in an independent setting or the leader of said group, I will win all day long.

Tenacity, do something just for fun brother!! I applaud your goal orientated mind set.....but in some ways you give the impression that you're running......running from what? you've overcome circumstances which is fantasitc but sometimes we can have a "running away from motivated mindset"...ie running from poverty...

why not do something just for fun? Salsa class? just a suggestion....I could be totally wrong...

I mean, you get to sixy....tow million dollars in your bank account...and then what.......how was your life experience....

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Tenacity, do something just for fun brother!! I applaud your goal orientated mind set.....but in some ways you give the impression that you're running......running from what? you've overcome circumstances which is fantasitc but sometimes we can have a "running away from motivated mindset"...ie running from poverty...

why not do something just for fun? Salsa class? just a suggestion....I could be totally wrong...

I mean, you get to sixy....tow million dollars in your bank account...and then what.......how was your life experience....

Maybe a goal of his is to involve himself with a group or group(s) one day and build his social side.

 

[amazingswayze]

Why is this in the hall of excellence?

 

[Desdinova]

I'm sure they do and I'm happy for them. My life has been and will be just out of the mainstream going forward, and I've accepted that.

- My career was and is out of the mainstream. It's new, innovative and disruptive to traditional financial systems.

- The way I completed my education was out of the mainstream.

- The way I became fit and toned was "somewhat" out of the mainstream.

- The way I pull women is out of the mainstream lol.

- The way I manage my expenses (being a Minimalist) is out of the mainstream.

- The fact that I don't invest in mutual funds but prefer long term CDs, is out of the mainstream.

I'm not apart of the mainstream. Growing up I thought I was weird, today, I've learned to accept my uniqueness as well as find HAPPINESS in it. This thread was about realizing how alone I truly was, which is weird.......but I'm learning to accept it because quite honestly, I have more fun when I'm by myself than when I'm around a gang of people anyway.

I've never fit into teams or groups well, I've always excelled when I was left the hell alone to do my "own thing".

Put me in a team setting, I'm going to fail. Put me in an independent setting or the leader of said group, I will win all day long.

This is exactly how I feel about my own life. I've always been a misfit with my interests and hobbies. There were so many times I tried to fit in while I was growing up. All it did was make everything extremely awkward and the mainstream interests I tried to get involved with were very short-lived, and I never became any good at them.

What I've noticed since I've decided to accept and indulge in my unique interests, I get much more respect for being unique. The way you perceive yourself is how others are going to perceive you. I get people looking at the stuff that I do and wonder how I do it, and even envy the fact that I'm so good at it. When I didn't embrace and be proud of my unique interests, people made fun of them.

You'll notice a big difference by embracing the uniqueness that has made you an interesting person. You'll also learn how to make it work toward your benefit. I can actually make money from some of my unique interests, and I've been doing so whenever possible. Keeping temporary acquaintances seems to actually be more beneficial than having long term friends since people are more reliable at the beginning of a friendship.

This has been a really good thread.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

But I'm not the only common denominator, there are other common denominators included such as "Macro" factors like Feminism and Gynocentrism, which have negatively affected the behaviors (and loyalty) of both men and women.

- Based on your Logic/Ration, a black man in 1940 that can't get a job (series of failed job interviews) is to blame in total as he's the supposed only common denominator in all of these job interviews....with you totally failing to examine the "Macro" factors of the country going through overt Jim Crow Racial discrimination and segregation.

- Based on your Logic/Ration, a man that can't find stable employment during the Great Depression is to blame in total as he's the supposed only common denominator....with you totally failing to examine the "Macro" factors of the country going through the Great Depression where jobs were very scarce.

- Based on your Logic/Ration, a Republican that can't get elected in an Inner City that's low income, predominantly black, have Democrats running every major seat, and an area that's voted for Democrats for 60 years, is to blame for his inability to get elected as he's the supposed only common denominator in all of these elections....with you totally failing to examine the "Macro" factors of the area such as the fact that the area is an extremely Left-Wing/Liberal/Socialist area and anybody with even somewhat Moderate Conservative views will have a very difficult time getting elected (if ever).

I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I honestly don't believe that the high levels of disloyalty, back-stabbing, mistrust, shaddy shyt, and the like that's running rampant in our society today is somehow MY FAULT.

This republican trying to get elected in an area that will only vote democratic is a great example.

The example for you is if you where trying to do a successful LTR, you have to find pools of people who are good for it. It won't be the multi-dater "hot girl", the "feminist", the "manhater", etc.

Probably pools of people whose parents have had successful relations, pools of people who tend to have boyfriends and relations lasting multiple years. They exist.